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Brother Baconeater Brother Baconeater is offline
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Default Is There TV In Heaven - 03-14-2010, 02:21 AM

I'm worried about being bored for at least part of eternity. I hope TV is there and we get all the channels, of course with a VChip.
I wonder if it will be just a bunch of reruns or we'll get new series too.


"Take your son, your only son – yes, Isaac, whom you love so much – and go to the land of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains, which I will point out to you." Genesis 22:1-18
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No Secrets Victoria No Secrets Victoria is offline
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Default Re: Is There TV In Heaven - 03-14-2010, 04:04 AM

There will be no time for nonsense like T.V

There will be time for prayer, and the washing of feet, and catching up with all your long dead relatives. The screams heard from hell will be your entertainment and you can thank GOD for that!

I LOVE YOU JESUS


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Genesis 3:16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.
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Default Re: Is There TV In Heaven - 03-14-2010, 04:19 AM

Just 24 hours nonstop of Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne.

EDIT: I should clarify something. The "with Rev. Jim Osborne" part refers to the show name itself: "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell". It does not mean "Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne", because as we all know, a Godly man like me will never end up there.



Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.

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Default Re: Is There TV In Heaven - 03-14-2010, 04:47 AM

I thought we got to watch the sinners burn for all eternity. Wouldn't that be easiest if Jesus gave us large screen TVs?


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Default Re: Is There TV In Heaven - 03-14-2010, 06:07 AM

I imagine that Jesus will take good care of us up in Heaven. Free wide-screen TV's for every mansion in the sky, and all your favorite shows.

I hear that He has a non-stop barbecue going, with all the grilled steaks and chops you care to eat, and the most Heavenly beer you can imagine, served in chilled mugs, with bowls of cashew nuts.

And the ladies will enjoy fetching us cold beers and rubbing our tired feet for all eternity. Shout glory!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Is There TV In Heaven - 03-14-2010, 08:37 AM

I know I'm probably going to be scolded by the pastors for my sinful guilty pleasure, but I enjoyed the show "Touched By an Angel" in the 1990s. I was also quite fond of "Kids Say the Darndest Things" with Art Linkletter.
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Brother Baconeater Brother Baconeater is offline
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Default Re: Is There TV In Heaven - 03-14-2010, 02:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
I hear that He has a non-stop barbecue going, with all the grilled steaks and chops you care to eat, and the most Heavenly beer you can imagine, served in chilled mugs, with bowls of cashew nuts.
This is another thing I wonder about. I love bacon, hence my name. I know it is a fact that animals don't go to heaven, though I'm not sure where they go, so how can there be steaks and bacon in heaven? Especially fresh meat.
It is heaven, I'd expect my meat to be fresh.
I know that if I went to church regularly I would know the answer, but as I mentioned in my intro, I live in atheist Canada, so it is almost impossible to find a church that is even half free of The Devil's influence.


"Take your son, your only son – yes, Isaac, whom you love so much – and go to the land of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains, which I will point out to you." Genesis 22:1-18
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