The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. |
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 123
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: In Freehold at my husbands house.
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Hello to Everybody. -
04-03-2012, 07:38 PM
Aaron said I should get on the forum and introduce myself. Some of you know me, like my Mom and some others. I'm getting used to being a wife and trying hard to get a baby for Aaron, but it's hard and it still hurts, but Aaron says we have to try hard and that Jesus wants me to have Aarons babies as soon as possible.
Thank you all for all the wedding presents. Mom, I miss you and maybe Aaron will let us see each other soon, but right now he says my job is to be his wife and do what he says, so thats what I'm doing.
YIC
Mrs. Naomi Portway
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One of the Lord's Airborne Rangers Salvation from Above God's Favorite Pilot™
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,282
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Flying the Friendly Skies for Jesus!
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Re: Hello to Everybody. -
04-03-2012, 07:59 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Naomi Portway
Aaron said I should get on the forum and introduce myself. Some of you know me, like my Mom and some others. I'm getting used to being a wife and trying hard to get a baby for Aaron, but it's hard and it still hurts, but Aaron says we have to try hard and that Jesus wants me to have Aarons babies as soon as possible.
Thank you all for all the wedding presents. Mom, I miss you and maybe Aaron will let us see each other soon, but right now he says my job is to be his wife and do what he says, so thats what I'm doing.
YIC
Mrs. Naomi Portway
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Now darling, let's not bother the members of the forum with whining to your mother! I told you you'd eventually get to see your family, but not until I can trust you. And whining on the forum isn't helping now is it? I'll be home in a couple of hours and I better see a happy face and my dinner waiting for me when I unlock the front door.
Let's not have a repeat of last night.
Winging our Way Across the World for The Lord!
God Bless John Boehner and God Bless the Grand Old Party!
Barack Hussein Obama is not My President!!!
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 315
Join Date: Feb 2012
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Re: Hello to Everybody. -
04-03-2012, 08:05 PM
Well, welcome to the forum Naomi. You've done well landing a True Christian - I'm green with envy.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 123
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: In Freehold at my husbands house.
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Re: Hello to Everybody. -
04-03-2012, 08:05 PM
I'm sorry.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 123
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: In Freehold at my husbands house.
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Re: Hello to Everybody. -
04-03-2012, 08:10 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Naomi Portway
I'm sorry.
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That was meant for Aaron not you Catherine. Thank you for your post, it means alot.
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Anti La Leche League Organizer
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,807
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: VT--the Green Mountain State
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Re: Hello to Everybody. -
04-03-2012, 08:14 PM
Are you going to finish middle school this June, deary? When you begin high school you will be able to take cooking, sewing, animal husbandry and other classes that will prepare you to manage your household. The riflery club sponsors worthwhile extracurricular events.
You should be able to attend right up until your due date. The little black girls at county elementary often ride the school bus to the delivery room. You, of course, have a husband to drive you.
It was a lovely wedding and I am grateful that I had the chance to see God bless your union.
Robbie
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Former Mary Hailer who has seen The Light©
True Christian™
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Posts: 10,391
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Surrounded By Married Homos and Baby Killers in Godless England
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Re: Hello to Everybody. -
04-03-2012, 08:14 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Naomi Portway
I'm sorry.
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And so you should be. Capt. Portway has graciously given you a home after some quite creative negotiations by your father. Let's face it, your luck is in and you now have the chance to be saved by childbearing. And you use your time to whine on a public forum because he has fulfilled his duty as a husband?
Your life is now with him and you would do well to remember that!
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,729
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Hello to Everybody. -
04-03-2012, 08:26 PM
Oh Naomi! I'm glad you made it to the forums!
Your wedding was very lovely and I don't think any one really noticed about the thing, ahem, you did up there at the altar. Besides, lots of brides have cold feet only to forget about the ceremony and bask in the joys of motherhood! You are a young and healthy gal and I'm sure you will bring much honor to the LORD and your dear husband by producing many soldiers of Christ!
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 123
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: In Freehold at my husbands house.
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Re: Hello to Everybody. -
04-03-2012, 08:34 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Roberta
Are you going to finish middle school this June, deary? When you begin high school you will be able to take cooking, sewing, animal husbandry and other classes that will prepare you to manage your household. The riflery club sponsors worthwhile extracurricular events.
You should be able to attend right up until your due date. The little black girls at county elementary often ride the school bus to the delivery room. You, of course, have a husband to drive you.
It was a lovely wedding and I am grateful that I had the chance to see God bless your union.
Robbie
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Aaron called me from work and told me that it was embarrassing for him that I didn't know how to use the quote buttons. He told me how so now I know how to answer people.
I was always homeschooled by my Mom and shes going to keep doing that, but only after Aaron trusts me and lets me out of the house when hes at work.
Thank you for coming to my wedding, you looked nice.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Redeemed Papist
And so you should be. Capt. Portway has graciously given you a home after some quite creative negotiations by your father. Let's face it, your luck is in and you now have the chance to be saved by childbearing. And you use your time to whine on a public forum because he has fulfilled his duty as a husband?
Your life is now with him and you would do well to remember that!
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I know, I'm sorry.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda
Oh Naomi! I'm glad you made it to the forums!
Your wedding was very lovely and I don't think any one really noticed about the thing, ahem, you did up there at the altar. Besides, lots of brides have cold feet only to forget about the ceremony and bask in the joys of motherhood! You are a young and healthy gal and I'm sure you will bring much honor to the LORD and your dear husband by producing many soldiers of Christ!
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Yes Maam, I will be having alot of babies according to Aaron. How many have you had? Does it hurt alot?
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A young lady servicing the Lord
True Christian™
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Posts: 580
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: San Jose, Califonia
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Re: Hello to Everybody. -
04-03-2012, 09:00 PM
Hi Naomi!
I tooottttttaaallllllllllly wish I could have been at your wedding!
I sent you a gift, you should get it any day now!
I'm a lot older than you, so if you have any questions related to girl stuff and Jesus, you can just ask me since I've been a True Christian™ for like EVER!
Tammi
He is the Rock, his work is perfect: for all his ways are judgment: a God of truth and without iniquity, just and right is he. Deuteronomy 32-4
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Posts: 14,663
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
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Re: Hello to Everybody. -
04-03-2012, 09:03 PM
Greetings Mrs Portway. It must be very exciting for you looking forward to the opportunity of salvation, once you've produced Mr Portway's first child. I hope it isn't a girl.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Roberta
animal husbandry
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I could probably help you there, having had some farmyard experience myself & I'm sure Roberta would be able to lend a hand there too, if you asked her.
Hoping that your conversation remains chaste and that Mr Portway continues to frighten you
I Peter 3:1a,2 Likewise, ye wiues, be in subiection to your owne husbands…While they beholde your chaste conuersation coupled with feare:
©1611 all the best I think we'd better wait and see how the childbearing goes hadn't we.
If you fail Mr Portway you fail God and nothing that follows wil be good from your point of view, leading up to your eventual death whereupon you'll be transferred immediately to HELLFOREVER, but that's the way God planned it, that's the way God wants it to be & so from His point of view (watching your infinite torture together with all the saints).....
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 123
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: In Freehold at my husbands house.
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Re: Hello to Everybody. -
04-03-2012, 09:10 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor
Greetings Mrs Portway. It must be very exciting for you looking forward to the opportunity of salvation, once you've produced Mr Portway's first child. I hope it isn't a girl.
I could probably help you there, having had some farmyard experience myself & I'm sure Roberta would be able to lend a hand there too, if you asked her.
Hoping that your conversation remains chaste and that Mr Portway continues to frighten you
I Peter 3:1a,2 Likewise, ye wiues, be in subiection to your owne husbands…While they beholde your chaste conuersation coupled with feare:
©1611 all the best I think we'd better wait and see how the childbearing goes hadn't we.
If you fail Mr Portway you fail God and nothing that follows wil be good from your point of view, leading up to your eventual death whereupon you'll be transferred immediately to HELLFOREVER, but that's the way God planned it, that's the way God wants it to be & so from His point of view (watching your infinite torture together with all the saints).....
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I'm trying Miss Mitza, it seems like we're trying all the time. I don't want to go to H - E - double hockey sticks, so I just hope to get a baby in me as quick as I can. I pray all the time for it to work.
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: Hello to Everybody. -
04-03-2012, 09:51 PM
Well! There is the little woman.
I assume soon you'll be fat as a medicine ball with sons for God and Brother Portway. Combined with the development of your unborn child and all of your chores, I imagine soon I will not see you again.
Congratulations on your nuptuals and I wish you a fruitful life.
Brother Portway, you'll be at the club Saturday for the Mens Dinner and outreach a-roundtable?
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Warning: In case of Rapture, this account will be unmanned.
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Posts: 7,220
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Hello to Everybody. -
04-03-2012, 11:09 PM
A warm welcome Mrs. Portway, so glad to see you finally on our forum!
My wife, Abigail, is looking very forward to sharing her pie recipe's with you. I understand, because of your youth, that you need some help in this area. Rest assured Abigail will have you up to speed in no time.
Quote:
Brother Portway, you'll be at the club Saturday for the Mens Dinner and outreach a-roundtable?
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You can count me in Brother Hutchins. Maybe this would be a good time for Mrs. Portway and Abigail to meet and improve on her cooking skills.
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Professor of Creation Science at Landover University Double PhD. Theomathematics, Racial Science Returned from 10 year South Africa Expedition
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,991
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Returned from studying the negro in Africa.
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Re: Hello to Everybody. -
04-04-2012, 12:33 AM
Welcome to the forum dear! I do hope you enjoyed your stay in the makeshift honeymoon suite in one of my many spare bedrooms. You never did get a chance to thank me for providing my lovely home for your wedding on such short notice. You did seem a bit distracted while you were my guest. Wedding night jitters I presume?
No matter, water under the bridge as they say. I look forward to getting to know you better. Did you realize that I am your landlord? Brother Portway is still only a renter in my carriage house. He is negotiating to buy, but we still have a few kinks to iron out. As my estate is quite large and you have your own driveway, you may not have even realized that you were living on my property. I may pop down for a visit now and then. I have my own keys of course, so I will just let myself in.
Goodbye for now, but I am sure I will see you very soon! Praise!
Professor of Creation Science at Landover Baptist University
Sodomites! Stop being gay TODAY!
Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. James 1:21
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Mayor of Freehold
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Posts: 12,122
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Hello to Everybody. -
04-04-2012, 12:49 AM
An official welcome, Mrs. Portway. It's wonderful to know another homemaker is living in Freehold.
Knowing Mr. Portway, I anticipate he will be "out with the boys" quite often, talking business. Please contact my office for a list of the Bible study groups in your neighborhood for those long evenings.
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Hello to Everybody. -
04-04-2012, 02:41 AM
Great. Another gossiping hen for the congregation.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,729
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Hello to Everybody. -
04-04-2012, 04:26 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Naomi Portway
Yes Maam, I will be having alot of babies according to Aaron. How many have you had? Does it hurt alot?
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Yes dear, it hurts every time. This is our LORD'S reminder of the curse (Genesis 3:16) and our duty as help meets (1 Corinthians 11:3). It is because our LORD is so merciful that He hasn't demanded justice from our sinful rebellion (1 Corinthians 11:3; Romans 6:23). The pain in childbirth is God's way of saying He he's letting us off with just a warning.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,980
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: Hello to Everybody. -
04-04-2012, 07:22 AM
Welcome, Mrs. Portway! You must be a very trustworthy young lady for Captain Portway to be willing to leave you unsupervised during those long airplane flights of his. I certainly don't blame him for leaving you locked inside! If there's ever a fire or anything, you can probably pray the flames away. Just to be on the safe side, though, you should keep the phone number for the Freehold Fire Department handy.
That is, assuming you're allowed to have a phone.
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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The Godliest Man in Godless Canuckistan
True Christian™
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Posts: 4,391
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: America's Frozen Attic
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Re: Hello to Everybody. -
04-04-2012, 07:33 AM
Nice to see you here Mrs Portway.
My daughters so enjoy their chats with you on the skype.
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