Promise Enforcers - Men Only! We make Promise Keepers look like homers! No homosexuals or women allowed! |
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WARNING: Do not attempt to debate. You will lose horribly.
True Christian™
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Posts: 3,261
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: God's Favorite Country
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Re: What is Fap? -
03-23-2010, 06:14 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sirenn
That is disgusting!
How dare you threaten people with eternal damnation, you sick, inhuman devils!
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We do nothing more than point out what God has spelled out very clearly in the Bible.
Please, do not shoot the messengers for we are but humble servants of God.
You should join us and become a humble servant of God too. Then you won't have to be so angry all the time.
I take my orders from Jesus H. Christ, supernatural born US citizen
Be wary of false Kumbaya Christians who use a highlighter and scissors to read the Bible. God wants us to read the lines, not between the lines. False Christians will go to Hell:
Matthew 7:22 Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
Matthew 7:23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.
Asking a Christian to prove God exists is like asking him to prove his phone rings because yours doesn't. Make that call yourself! Dial 0800-get-on-your-knees-and-pray.
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Deaconess Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,215
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: God's Own America
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Re: What is Fap? -
03-23-2010, 06:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sirenn
That is disgusting!
How dare you threaten people with eternal damnation, you sick, inhuman devils!
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Listen Missy, if God says you are going to Hell, then you ARE going to Hell.
We don't make the rules.
God Bless.
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Re: What is Fap? -
03-23-2010, 06:16 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by True Disciple
That is a lie of Satan. No doubt, you have been reading atheist fantasies about monkeys popping out human babies,
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Humans didn't come from apes.
Rather, Humans and Apes have the same common ancestor at some point. The two races branched off in their own ways to become what they are today.
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Deaconess Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,215
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: God's Own America
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Re: What is Fap? -
03-23-2010, 06:17 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by HankMarvin
Humans didn't come from apes.
Rather, Humans and Apes have the same common ancestor at some point. The two races branched off in their own ways to become what they are today.
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Not true.
Why do you believe these lies?
God made us in His image.
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True Christian™ Creation Scientist Landover Baptist University Associate Professor Smashing atheist science one fact at a time
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,446
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Flood Hydrology Lab, Landover University, Freehold, IA
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Re: What is Fap? -
03-23-2010, 06:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sirenn
That is disgusting!
How dare you threaten people with eternal damnation, you sick, inhuman devils!
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Sorry to shatter your cosy, pink-cloud worldviews of a false Jesus who loves bunnies and cuddles everyone in Heaven. Sorry for teaching what Jesus actually taught.
Mark 9:43-48
And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched: Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched.
And if thy foot offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter halt into life, than having two feet to be cast into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched:
Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched.
And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out: it is better for thee to enter into the kingdom of God with one eye, than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire:
Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched.
Quote:
Originally Posted by HankMarvin
Humans didn't come from apes.
Rather, Humans and Apes have the same common ancestor at some point. The two races branched off in their own ways to become what they are today.
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Yeah, of course, and then nothing exploded into everything to make the universe. Why do you believe such stupid fairytales?
The Bible plainly states that Adam is a Man, not an ape. Get your facts straight.
Sweet Lord Jesus,
I want to pray for those who persecute me, my Lord.
Please, treat their children as you treated those of Egypt, when they upset you! (Psalm 135:8-9)
Dash their little children against the stones for their fathers iniquity! (Psalm 137:8-9)
Hit them on the cheek, and smash out their teeth! (Psalm 3:7)
Make their death and descent into Hell swift and terrible! (Psalm 55:15)
Scatter their broken bodies over the streets of their evil cities, like Benghazi, Amsterdam, Tokyo and Mecca! (Psalm 110:6)
Praised be Your Glorious Name™.
Amen.
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Re: What is Fap? -
03-23-2010, 06:20 PM
Fap is another term for masturbation. It's popular among kids and random online forum sites. This whole forum is very perverse.
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True Christian™ Creation Scientist Landover Baptist University Associate Professor Smashing atheist science one fact at a time
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,446
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Flood Hydrology Lab, Landover University, Freehold, IA
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Re: What is Fap? -
03-23-2010, 06:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by brobocop
Fap is another term for masturbation. It's popular among kids and random online forum sites. This whole forum is very perverse.
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Are we bringing up the m-subject? No, it's you. How can you then accuse us of being perverted? Hypocrite.
Sweet Lord Jesus,
I want to pray for those who persecute me, my Lord.
Please, treat their children as you treated those of Egypt, when they upset you! (Psalm 135:8-9)
Dash their little children against the stones for their fathers iniquity! (Psalm 137:8-9)
Hit them on the cheek, and smash out their teeth! (Psalm 3:7)
Make their death and descent into Hell swift and terrible! (Psalm 55:15)
Scatter their broken bodies over the streets of their evil cities, like Benghazi, Amsterdam, Tokyo and Mecca! (Psalm 110:6)
Praised be Your Glorious Name™.
Amen.
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Re: What is Fap? -
03-23-2010, 06:27 PM
Fap = To m'ing
Fappable = hot enough to jack off to.
Honestly I don't know why everyone is getting so worked up, she's too stupid to handle any of the responsibilities she is trying to get, you might as well find some use for the pictures of her.
Personally I find her to be sickeningly vapid, but still, I'd hate piffle the shit out of that body.
Last edited by Talitha; 03-23-2010 at 06:30 PM.
Reason: said masturbate
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 1
Join Date: Mar 2010
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Re: What is Fap? -
03-23-2010, 06:27 PM
Last edited by Talitha; 03-23-2010 at 06:29 PM.
Reason: Said Masturbate
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Director of European Evangelical Outreach A Shining Example of Christ's Love Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
True Christian™
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Posts: 18,677
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: A frictional country
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Re: What is Fap? -
03-23-2010, 06:34 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anominon
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It's the same sound as your head will make when Satan crushes it. Over and over again.
SPLUT!
Psalm 81:10:
I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.
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WARNING: Do not attempt to debate. You will lose horribly.
True Christian™
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Posts: 3,261
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: God's Favorite Country
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Re: What is Fap? -
03-23-2010, 07:12 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by HankMarvin
Rather, Humans and Apes have the same common ancestor at some point. The two races branched off in their own ways to become what they are today.
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Wow, evolution is getting more horrible by the day.
First you evilutionists kept saying we came from apes, not you're saying that we came from the retard ancestors of apes.
Mind-boggling!
I take my orders from Jesus H. Christ, supernatural born US citizen
Be wary of false Kumbaya Christians who use a highlighter and scissors to read the Bible. God wants us to read the lines, not between the lines. False Christians will go to Hell:
Matthew 7:22 Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
Matthew 7:23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.
Asking a Christian to prove God exists is like asking him to prove his phone rings because yours doesn't. Make that call yourself! Dial 0800-get-on-your-knees-and-pray.
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Unsaved trash, whiney internet bully
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Posts: 15
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Re: What is Fap? -
03-23-2010, 07:12 PM
Y'all best be trollin.
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Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,686
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Woodlawn Drive, Freehold, USA USA USA
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Re: What is Fap? -
03-23-2010, 07:14 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Big J Man
Y'all best be trollin.
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We do not take kindly to threats around here.
I realize I am posting in the "Men's Only" thread, and Jesus™ does not like that, but I cannot let this harrasment continue without speaking out.
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Unsaved trash, whiney internet bully
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Posts: 15
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Re: What is Fap? -
03-23-2010, 07:15 PM
What harassment? I simply stated that you guys better be trolling. If not, then it's quite sad.
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Deaconess Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,215
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: God's Own America
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Re: What is Fap? -
03-23-2010, 07:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Big J Man
What harassment? I simply stated that you guys better be trolling. If not, then it's quite sad.
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You had best not be mocking our beliefs, friend.
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Re: What is Fap? -
03-23-2010, 07:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Talitha
You had best not be mocking our beliefs, friend.
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Not at all. I am simply stating that to be Christian is to be "Christ like". Since Christ himself hung out with the worst of the worst and even had a tax collector for a friend and eventually a prophet that shouldn't you be a little more open to those that you consider sinners?
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Re: What is Fap? -
03-23-2010, 07:22 PM
to correct the evolutionist, evolution explains that man is still an ape. just as a duck is still a bird, but all birds are not ducks.
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Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,686
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Woodlawn Drive, Freehold, USA USA USA
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Re: What is Fap? -
03-23-2010, 07:25 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Big F Man
What harassment? I simply stated that you guys better be trolling.
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There is an implied (no, a LITERAL, OPEN threat) (rather like a literal, open SORE) in the statement, "You best be trolling..."
As in "Or else...."
There are women and children here at the Landover Baptist Church! Do not threaten the lambs of God™
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Re: What is Fap? -
03-23-2010, 07:25 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by anonanonan
Fap = To m'ing
Fappable = hot enough to jack off to.
Honestly I don't know why everyone is getting so worked up, she's too stupid to handle any of the responsibilities she is trying to get, you might as well find some use for the pictures of her.
Personally I find her to be sickeningly vapid, but still, I'd hate piffle the shit out of that body.
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I come from the distant land of teh internetz. I am retarded.
Last edited by Talitha; 03-23-2010 at 07:26 PM.
Reason: Typo
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Deaconess Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,215
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: God's Own America
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Re: What is Fap? -
03-23-2010, 07:26 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Big F Man
Not at all. I am simply stating that to be Christian is to be "Christ like". Since Christ himself hung out with the worst of the worst and even had a tax collector for a friend and eventually a prophet that shouldn't you be a little more open to those that you consider sinners?
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We don't hate the Sinner, we hate The Sin.
We are merely trying to help them avoid Hell.
I would never dare attempt to impersonte Jesus. I cannot be "Christ Like".
I follow the teachings of Jesus to assure myself of Eternal Salvation.
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