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Smile Anyone want to buy an aircraft carrier? - 05-03-2011, 09:59 PM
Some third-world country is selling off an aircraft carrier called "The Ark Royal". It probably won't cost more than we have on the tithing plate, so to speak, and we can lower the price by bribing a few folks - you know how these tinpot monarchies work. A few trinkets for the queen, some firewater for the archbishop and generallissimos and we're all set.

Just think of the uses: we could put it in the reservoir to patrol for hippies trying to sneak floride into the water, or it could be a Noah's Ark themed zoo, or it could be a yacht/country club for our Deacons, Platinum Tithers, and whatever congressman we are lobbying at the moment:



I've already clicked the "add to cart" button...

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Default Re: Anyone want to buy an aircraft carrier? - 05-03-2011, 10:05 PM
Oh. No wonder it was cheap - it's British! It'll probably rust and the steering wheel's on the wrong side.




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Default Re: Anyone want to buy an aircraft carrier? - 05-03-2011, 10:17 PM
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Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
Oh. No wonder it was cheap - it's British! It'll probably rust and the steering wheel's on the wrong side.
My thoughts exactly.. The british (notice the lower case b) can't get anything right..

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Default Re: Anyone want to buy an aircraft carrier? - 05-03-2011, 10:24 PM
I'm sure if we all put in some work, we could turn that 95% steel carrier into a 100% holy ark.
Am I right, or am I wrong?
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Default Re: Anyone want to buy an aircraft carrier? - 05-03-2011, 10:27 PM
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I'm sure if we all put in some work, we could turn that 95% steel carrier into a 100% holy ark.
Am I right, or am I wrong?
I wouldn't buy food from a dirty brit if I was starving!! Let alone an aircraft carrier..

Dirty heathens.

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Default Re: Anyone want to buy an aircraft carrier? - 05-03-2011, 10:33 PM
Just imagine how powerful of a witnessing tool that thing could be for us. We could provide disaster relief of King James Bibles and Chick Tracts to stricken countries all over the world.

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Default Re: Anyone want to buy an aircraft carrier? - 05-03-2011, 10:43 PM
How many aircrafts do we have now?

I know we have those UH-60 Blackhawks, but there are some fighters now on sale as well.

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Default Re: Anyone want to buy an aircraft carrier? - 05-03-2011, 11:14 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson View Post
Just imagine how powerful of a witnessing tool that thing could be for us. We could provide disaster relief of King James Bibles and Chick Tracts to stricken countries all over the world.
Amen!

However, I would suggest leaving some of the warship features intact, lest we come into contact with that vile lesbian atheist sailing group that provides offshore abortions, Women on Waves.

Imagine the opportunities for spreading the LORD'S Word in international waters, free from many of the confines of secular law!

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Default Re: Anyone want to buy an aircraft carrier? - 05-04-2011, 12:00 AM
In all seriousness, I get really concerned now and then about the security of Landover Baptist Church. We have a lot of money, a talented Church staff and we are snatching people away from Satan every day.

It seems logical to me that we might be a target for Satan's people. Our little police force in Freehold, devoted as they are, may not have the fire power to hold off some group that has evil purposes.

Would it be thinking too far out of the box to look into tieing this thing up on the Des Moines River near Freehold? I don't know a lot about military hardware but maybe it could host some helicopters and troops.

Just a thought.

Johny Joe Hold, Mayor

Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: Anyone want to buy an aircraft carrier? - 05-04-2011, 04:50 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson View Post
Just imagine how powerful of a witnessing tool that thing could be for us. We could provide disaster relief of King James Bibles and Chick Tracts to stricken countries all over the world.
We could load them in the deck guns and fire them over heathen walls across the globe!

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Give her a shovel.
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Default Re: Anyone want to buy an aircraft carrier? - 05-12-2011, 09:43 AM
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Originally Posted by NormanLid View Post
My thoughts exactly.. The british (notice the lower case b) can't get anything right..
How about steering wheel?

Sorry I had to

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