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8 Reasons why God hates New Zealand! -
04-11-2010, 12:57 PM
8 Reasons why God hates New Zealand!
New Zealand is a small insignificant country on the edge of the world. It used to be part of England but everyone there forgot about it. There are a few True Christians™ there, but most of it's inhabitants are going straight to Hell.
- New Zealand has the highest amount of Apatheism (Atheism on steroids) in the world. They do not just ignore God, they are openly proud about it!
- New Zealand has the highest amount of sheep rape cases in the entire world. And this is not just per capita! Leviticus 18:23 "Neither shalt thou lie with any beast to defile thyself therewith: neither shall any woman stand before a beast to lie down thereto: it is confusion."
- More or less civilized people arrived in New Zealand by canoe in about AD 1250–1300. This canoe is still the most advanced form of transportation New Zealand has.
- Many people in New Zealand die because they ignore the Holy Bible and mistakenly think Earth is a globe. Then they fall off the edge. New Zealand is in denial about this and claims a lot of people drown in the Waikato River to explain these "mysterious" deaths. 2 Timothy 3:16 "All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness"
- New Zealand claims to be a peaceful nation but in reality no one ever cared enough to invade it and no one there owns enough to make any form of crime profitable. And there is nothing peaceful about the way in which the Māori are mistreated. Many Māori are in jail for crimes that don't even exist in New Zealand and ancient Māori rock-art is often damaged or destroyed. The government has provided over NZ$900 million (about 7 American Dollars) in settlements in an attempt to undo some of the severe damage done to the Māori.
- When British explorer James Cook started trading in 1769 the people of New Zealand mostly paid for the goods with sex. For those in denial about this: King (2003) pg 122.
- In 2003 New Zealand decriminalised the sex trade. Most female workers in New Zealand are whores. Proverbs 23:27-28 "For a whore is a deep ditch; and a strange woman is a narrow pit. She also lieth in wait as for a prey, and increaseth the transgressors among men."
- Since people in New Zealand have no real property other than sex trade they invented Kiwi Dollars to pretend having an economy. These Kiwi Dollars are also valid in Cook Islands, Niue, Tokelau, and the Pitcairn Islands all of which are, surprisingly, even less significant than New Zealand. Everywhere else in the world they are better known as Monopoly Money.
All people New Zealand of need to repent and accept Jesus Christ as their savior! Until then, they will suffer and will burn in Hell along with other God-mocking countries like Australia, England, Scotland, Denmark, Germany, France, Italy, Hungary, Russia, China, Japan, Korea, Mexico, Canada, Brazil, Argentina, Chile, Spain, Portugal, Norway, Sweden, Ukraine, Romania, Croatia, Serbia, Ethiopia, Nigeria, Somalia, Sudan, South Africa, Iceland, Vietnam, Cambodia, Guatemala, Algeria, Egypt, Saudia Arabia, Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Qatar, etc.
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Re: 8 Reasons why God hates New Zealand! -
04-12-2010, 06:45 AM
I believe reason #2 is enough.
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Re: 8 Reasons why God hates New Zealand! -
04-12-2010, 07:01 AM
New Zealand has the highest amount of sheep rape cases in the entire
world
What the heck is wrong with their women if this is such a problem?
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Re: 8 Reasons why God hates New Zealand! -
04-12-2010, 07:36 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nathan B. Forrest
What the heck is wrong with their women if this is such a problem?
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I am not sure but I have heard they even dress up like sheep to compensate for it.
Picture of a New Zealand sheep suit which New Zealand women use to seduce men:
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Re: 8 Reasons why God hates New Zealand! -
04-12-2010, 08:00 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man
I am not sure but I have heard they even dress up like sheep to compensate for it.
Picture of a New Zealand sheep suit which New Zealand women use to seduce men:
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It has horns, it's not even a FEMALE SHEEP
What kind of depravity is this?
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True Christian™ Creation Cosmologist Strong in Spirit and Filled With Christ's Wisdom A Greater Genius Than Einstein, Hawking, and Sagan Combined
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Re: 8 Reasons why God hates New Zealand! -
04-12-2010, 08:56 AM
Homersexual sheep rapists, huh? What kind of filth is this?
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Re: 8 Reasons why God hates New Zealand! -
04-18-2010, 05:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man
I am not sure but I have heard they even dress up like sheep to compensate for it.
Picture of a New Zealand sheep suit which New Zealand women use to seduce men:
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This photo shows Australia's eternal shame. This image was taken around "Gay Mardi Gra" time (late February) in Sydney. It show a gay Merino sheep trolling for (what we call) sodomatic beastialites. It is unusual for Merinos to be so perverted and they are usually dealt with by their own kind.
A much bigger problem in Sydney is the influx of Suffolk sheep looking for New Zealanders. Suffolks, with their black faces and oversized penises, openly fornicate with misguided NZ fags along Kings Cross (Sydney's nightclub strip.) It is so evil I can barely stop staring at them.
It may seem unbelievable but our leader condones this. He is much worse than Barrack Osama. We suffer under a servant of Satan called Kevin. It is common knowledge that he, as a secret Muslem, performs abortions on 12 year old Christian girls as a hobbie.
It is no wonder Jesus is killing so many Aussie soldiers in Afghanistan. We need to be invaded and only America has the divine right. The vast majority of Australian Christians will greet you as liberators.
May Gods grace spill from your mouth and spoil your blue dress.
Fred.
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Re: 8 Reasons why God hates New Zealand! -
04-18-2010, 06:55 PM
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LBC psychiatric outpatient. Progressing nicely.
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Re: 8 Reasons why God hates New Zealand! -
04-21-2010, 12:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fred Nile
This photo shows Australia's eternal shame. This image was taken around "Gay Mardi Gra" time (late February) in Sydney. It show a gay Merino sheep trolling for (what we call) sodomatic beastialites.
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i not thinks that be a true homo sheeps, cuz if it were it would looks kinda like this --->
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Re: 8 Reasons why God hates New Zealand! -
04-23-2010, 02:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man
I am not sure but I have heard they even dress up like sheep to compensate for it.
Picture of a New Zealand sheep suit which New Zealand women use to seduce men:
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Well cranky, i was looking at pictures on the internet and there was one that cought my eye.
It´s Canadina men, doo you guys all dress like that.
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Re: 8 Reasons why God hates New Zealand! -
04-23-2010, 03:04 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by oliverhinrik
Well cranky, i was looking at pictures on the internet and there was one that cought my eye. It´s Canadina men, doo you guys all dress like that.
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I am from America, not from Canada. So I would have no idea about that. But your picture might be useful for an insightful article about why God hates Canada.
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Re: 8 Reasons why God hates New Zealand! -
04-12-2010, 11:58 AM
As a proud New Zealander I have to take issue with the accuracy of some the points that you made here Brother Cranky.
The blue flag with six yellow stars is in fact the Australian flag. Our flag has only four stars: The Union Jack means that we are part of the Commonwealth with Britain. The FOUR stars, the Southern Cross, are what the missionary Samuel Marsden saw in the sky when he gave the first New Zealand Christian Christmas service to Māori in 1814.
Although the NZ economy is based on tourism, dairy products, forestry and sheep
http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/New_zealand
- we do in fact have less sheep than Australia and a smaller population of idle sheep farmers. Australia also has a famous song called 'Tie me kangaroo down sport' : http://www.time.com/time/magazine/ar...897637,00.html
which describes marsupial bondage.
If you look closely at the sheep suit you will notice that it is surrounded by people wearing silly-looking green and yellow hats with corks hanging off them. Green and yellow are the Australian sports colours and the corks are to keep the nasty Aussie flies off them . New Zealand sports clothes are usually black with a silver fern on them.
The furry in the sheep suit is in fact 'entertaining' Australians in Australia.
The protestant work ethic is so strong down here: the belief in capitalism and the freedom of the individual has meant that some view us as apathetic. Many New Zealanders have strong faith and beliefs but we have developed them at distance and independently from most other civilised countries.
We have fewer catholicks than Australia and fewer gothtards - Australia was the country that 19th missionary James Denney called "The Most Godless Place Under Heaven" and the name stuck. For our size, New Zealand has many full- immersion baptised and Biblical Christians. I was baptised in my local Baptist Church in 1986.
New Zealand has only been a peaceful country in recent history, which is mainly because we have had a number of socialist leaders like B. Obama. Before we were settled and taught the ways of white folk by English missionaries my Māori ancestors were barbaric tribal savages. The basis of my ancestors' society was 'Utu' which loosely translates to 'An eye for an eye'. Every little grievance was settled by personal conflict. Since the 1850s most Māori leaders have had Faith in God and many have been Born Again.
For over the last hundred years almost every conflict that the United States and Great Britain has been involved in, New Zealanders have played a part. Most New Zealand soldiers have been volunteers, such as the famous 28th (Māori) Battalion: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M%C4%81ori_Battalion
Māori as an indigenous people have been treated better than almost all other first nations people in the world. New Zealand was colonised rather than invaded and most tribes got on with the, then, mostly British settlers. Māori have a Treaty with the government which has meant that all Māori have affirmative action plus grounds to settle any grievance that has occurred - and most of the important ones have been settled. As an example, nearly half of the fishing industry is owned or controlled by Māori. Surviving ancient Māori rock-art and most semi-precious stones like greenstone belong to the tribe that is associated with the land where they are found, and cannot be sold or traded without the consent of the tribe.
The Sex Trade in New Zealand is thoroughly regulated, which means that the rate of AIDS and drug use among whores is controlled. Whores even have their own trade union: http://www.nzpc.org.nz/ Many of us fight to return New Zealand to Biblical Christian Values, such the criminalisation of prostitution, and we need your prayers.
YIC
Bryan.
Joshua 24:15
And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Re: 8 Reasons why God hates New Zealand! -
04-12-2010, 12:47 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bryan Tamariki
As a proud New Zealander
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You openly admit to this?
Quote:
The blue flag with six yellow stars is in fact the Australian flag.
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To be honest, I fail to see the difference. But I assure you the New Zealand flag has a copy of the English flag and a bunch of stars.
Which just makes it worse that almost all those sheep get raped! I could care less about those sheep, but I fail to understand why all those New Zealand men want to condemn themselves to Hell .
Quote:
If you look closely at the sheep suit you will notice that it is surrounded by people wearing silly-looking green and yellow hats with corks hanging off them.
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Who cares what they are wearing while they are watching their horrible New Zealand Rugby team lose yet another match?
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some view us as apathetic
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Indeed. I never even heard of Apatheism before I started collecting information about New Zealand.
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distance and independently from most other civilised countries
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Don't you people get tired of canoe travel?
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For over the last hundred years almost every conflict that the United States and Great Britain has been involved in, New Zealanders have played a part.
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That is nice, unfortunately a canoe is not that effective in modern warfare.
Quote:
the famous 28th (Māori) Battalion
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I assure you it is only famous in New Zealand!
Why on Earth do you not leave New Zealand as fast as possible? It will take a few months to reach America with a canoe but at least you would be in a civilized nation!
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Re: 8 Reasons why God hates New Zealand! -
04-12-2010, 02:15 PM
Brothers, Brother Ezekiel Bathfire provided me with some long lost documents from the HMS Endeavour and these brought me some even more disturbing facts about New Zealand!
New Zealand is known in Maori as "The Land of the Long White Cloud" and here we have the vengeance of the Lord! Nahum 1:3 "The LORD is slow to anger, and great in power, and will not at all acquit the wicked: the LORD hath his way in the whirlwind and in the storm, and the clouds are the dust of his feet."
From the log of HMS Endeavour: "On 6th October 1769, Nicholas Young, the surgeon's boy, sighted the coastline of New Zealand from the masthead of The Endeavour. Smoke was seen rising from the mainland and the Captain and the crew thus learned the land was occupied. However, the cloud that covered the island was seen as an ill-omen and this was later borne out when the Maori threatened the crew, for which trouble one was shot!"
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Deaconess Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
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Re: 8 Reasons why God hates New Zealand! -
04-12-2010, 04:14 PM
I think that flag needs a few more Stars.
It's a shame that the Brits Pre-stole this little Island before we got there.
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Re: 8 Reasons why God hates New Zealand! -
04-13-2010, 07:45 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Talitha
I think that flag needs a few more Stars.
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Your version does indeed look much better!
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Re: 8 Reasons why God hates New Zealand! -
04-15-2010, 08:46 AM
I long for the day when I meet an american who isn't completely arrogant, ignorant and so deluded that they think everyone in the world even cares what the USA has to say on anything.
Pretty much every country hates the USA or openly ridicules it. Everytime we hear comments like these, it just gives us more entertainment and more reason to hate you (if we ever needed one).
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Re: 8 Reasons why God hates New Zealand! -
04-19-2010, 09:39 AM
Are you guys high? if your gunna write a racist thread dedicated to the slamming of our awesome New zealand buds, then actually use their flag
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Re: 8 Reasons why God hates New Zealand! -
04-15-2010, 07:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man
Nahum 1:3 "The LORD is slow to anger, and great in power, and will not at all acquit the wicked: the LORD hath his way in the whirlwind and in the storm, and the clouds are the dust of his feet.""
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so thats why all those hurricanes are in America ?
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Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
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Re: 8 Reasons why God hates New Zealand! -
04-15-2010, 07:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by fRimBo
so thats why all those hurricanes are in America ?
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No one ever claimed God doesn't punish the U.S. for homosexuality and abortion, but we're still doing better than the rest. Why else would He bless us with a GDP that is larger than China and Japan combined?
Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.
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