Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Oblivious
So you're just going to stay in a hotel and pray that the bed bugs go away? Let us know how that works out for you.
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Oh ye of little faith. I heard about a True Christian™ man and close, personal friend of Jesus who prayed, "I say unto you, O bugs, behave yourselves, one and all, and leave your abode for this night and remain quiet in one place, and keep your distance from the servants of God." His friends thought he was joking and laughed, but when the man went to sleep, everyone else went to sleep as well. The next morning when they awoke, they saw at the door of the house a great sight. Everyone was staring except for the faithful servant who prayed without doubt, for he was still asleep as he had a clean conscience. They were staring at a great big pile of bed bugs standing at the threshold of the home, not allowed to come in because the man who came in the name of Jesus had authority over their own movements (John 14:12).
When he woke up, the man told the bugs, "Since ye have well behaved yourselves in hearkening to my rebuke, come unto your place." And when he had said this, and risen from the bed, the bugs running from the door hasted to the bed and climbed up by the legs thereof and disappeared into the joints. He told his friends that those creatures hearkened unto the voice of a man, and abode by itself and was quiet and trespassed not; but we which hear the voice and commandments of God disobey and are light-minded: and for how long?
Let this be a lesson for you.
Personally, I think the bed bugs are a
curse from
Hillary Clinton. Our prayers against her thus far have been working out quite well, thankyouverymuch. I can't wait to see what else the LORD has in store for her! Her little insect battalion is no match against a God who can summon bears (2 Kings 2:23-25)!