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Proud Mary (worshiper) Proud Mary (worshiper) is offline
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Default Re: Pastor Deacon Fred on Mary Worshiping Papists - 11-18-2008, 09:12 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ahimaaz Smith View Post
We don't dispute that Mary is blessed among women, but is that the kind of stuff you say when you ask a friend to pray for you? Also, I resent your calling Jesus a fruit. Jesus was as straight as Pastor Ezekiel.
Please tell me your joking?
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Default Re: Pastor Deacon Fred on Mary Worshiping Papists - 11-18-2008, 09:20 PM

Riddle me this crazies. Do you take the Bible as the word of God? Do you follow its every command? You believe all that it tells you?
If you answered yes than please explain why you choose not to believe John 6:51-55? Catholics are the only ones who actually follow these verses and believe them.
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Default Re: Pastor Deacon Fred on Mary Worshiping Papists - 11-18-2008, 09:30 PM

I'll take advantage of the fact that no one else is online right now to say this-I understand this site is supposed to be satire and to make fun of certain Chrisitians but why?
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Default Re: Pastor Deacon Fred on Mary Worshiping Papists - 11-18-2008, 09:35 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Proud Mary View Post
I'll take advantage of the fact that no one else is online right now to say this-I understand this site is supposed to be satire and to make fun of certain Chrisitians but why?
Perhaps if you read anything beyond the threads you've created, such as, say, the Welcome Thread, you'd already have your answer.

Since you're too lazy to go look for yourself, I've cut and pasted the relevant section for you:
  • Quote:
    • Do you think we are a parody?
    Perhaps you've heard that we are a joke, satire or parody, and you came to our site for a few cheap laughs or "lulz", only to find people taking everything seriously. So now you have decided to be the first to "spill the beans" and let everyone in on your "knowledge". Friend, this has been done so many times that it isn't funny any more.

    When an Atheist loses a debate to a fundamentalist Christian, it is a common tactic to accuse the Christian of being a parody. The Atheist is so full of pride, that he cannot imagine being outsmarted by a dumb God-Believer, so he thinks the Christian must be an Atheist like himself who is only pretending to be Christian. This is known as Tabor's Law.

    Our situation is not helped by the fact that there is some atheist satirist who does an impression of our Pastor Deacon Fred at atheist conventions. People hear about him and start rumors that they are the same person and that the real Landover Baptist Church is also just a joke. Some Atheists go so far as to vandalize our church's Wikipedia page to say that we are a satire.

    Here is a link to the version of the Landover Baptist Wikipedia article before the vandals got hold of it.


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Default Re: Pastor Deacon Fred on Mary Worshiping Papists - 11-18-2008, 10:06 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Loud Catholic View Post
Riddle me this crazies. Do you take the Bible as the word of God? Do you follow its every command? You believe all that it tells you?
If you answered yes than please explain why you choose not to believe John 6:51-55? Catholics are the only ones who actually follow these verses and believe them.
Maybe you should try that in context. It's easy to twist Scripture by pulling out an isolated verse.
John 6

42 And they said, Is not this Jesus, the son of Joseph, whose father and mother we know? how is it then that he saith, I came down from heaven?

43 Jesus therefore answered and said unto them, Murmur not among yourselves.

44 No man can come to me, except the Father which hath sent me draw him: and I will raise him up at the last day.

45 It is written in the prophets, And they shall be all taught of God. Every man therefore that hath heard, and hath learned of the Father, cometh unto me.

46 Not that any man hath seen the Father, save he which is of God, he hath seen the Father.

47 Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me hath everlasting life.

48 I am that bread of life.

49 Your fathers did eat manna in the wilderness, and are dead.

50 This is the bread which cometh down from heaven, that a man may eat thereof, and not die.

51 I am the living bread which came down from heaven: if any man eat of this bread, he shall live for ever: and the bread that I will give is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world.

52 The Jews therefore strove among themselves, saying, How can this man give us his flesh to eat?

53 Then Jesus said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except ye eat the flesh of the Son of man, and drink his blood, ye have no life in you.

54 Whoso eateth my flesh, and drinketh my blood, hath eternal life; and I will raise him up at the last day.

55 For my flesh is meat indeed, and my blood is drink indeed.

56 He that eateth my flesh, and drinketh my blood, dwelleth in me, and I in him.

57 As the living Father hath sent me, and I live by the Father: so he that eateth me, even he shall live by me.

58 This is that bread which came down from heaven: not as your fathers did eat manna, and are dead: he that eateth of this bread shall live for ever.

59 These things said he in the synagogue, as he taught in Capernaum.

60 Many therefore of his disciples, when they had heard this, said, This is an hard saying; who can hear it?

61 When Jesus knew in himself that his disciples murmured at it, he said unto them, Doth this offend you?

62 What and if ye shall see the Son of man ascend up where he was before?

63 It is the spirit that quickeneth; the flesh profiteth nothing: the words that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life.

64 But there are some of you that believe not. For Jesus knew from the beginning who they were that believed not, and who should betray him.

65 And he said, Therefore said I unto you, that no man can come unto me, except it were given unto him of my Father.

You are like a confused Jew, Loud Catholic. The words are the bread of life, and are spirit. He is NOT saying "eat me", he is speaking metaphorically. Like in a parable; you've heard of parables, right?


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Default Re: Pastor Deacon Fred on Mary Worshiping Papists - 11-18-2008, 10:07 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Proud Catholic View Post
So I'm supposed to believe you crazies as opposed to all the cedible sources out there? Riiiiggggghhhhtttt. Ok.
So which is it? Are we crazies, or are we making a big joke at the expense of Christians?

We can't be both.

Clearly, you recognize that we are here merely to share the Truth of God's Word, rather than to make jokes and be silly. Otherwise, you'd not be so offended and keep calling us "crazies".


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Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
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Default Re: Pastor Deacon Fred on Mary Worshiping Papists - 11-18-2008, 10:11 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
Maybe you should try that in context. It's easy to twist Scripture by pulling out an isolated verse.
John 6

42 And they said, Is not this Jesus, the son of Joseph, whose father and mother we know? how is it then that he saith, I came down from heaven?

43 Jesus therefore answered and said unto them, Murmur not among yourselves.

44 No man can come to me, except the Father which hath sent me draw him: and I will raise him up at the last day.

45 It is written in the prophets, And they shall be all taught of God. Every man therefore that hath heard, and hath learned of the Father, cometh unto me.

46 Not that any man hath seen the Father, save he which is of God, he hath seen the Father.

47 Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me hath everlasting life.

48 I am that bread of life.

49 Your fathers did eat manna in the wilderness, and are dead.

50 This is the bread which cometh down from heaven, that a man may eat thereof, and not die.

51 I am the living bread which came down from heaven: if any man eat of this bread, he shall live for ever: and the bread that I will give is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world.

52 The Jews therefore strove among themselves, saying, How can this man give us his flesh to eat?

53 Then Jesus said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except ye eat the flesh of the Son of man, and drink his blood, ye have no life in you.

54 Whoso eateth my flesh, and drinketh my blood, hath eternal life; and I will raise him up at the last day.

55 For my flesh is meat indeed, and my blood is drink indeed.

56 He that eateth my flesh, and drinketh my blood, dwelleth in me, and I in him.

57 As the living Father hath sent me, and I live by the Father: so he that eateth me, even he shall live by me.

58 This is that bread which came down from heaven: not as your fathers did eat manna, and are dead: he that eateth of this bread shall live for ever.

59 These things said he in the synagogue, as he taught in Capernaum.

60 Many therefore of his disciples, when they had heard this, said, This is an hard saying; who can hear it?

61 When Jesus knew in himself that his disciples murmured at it, he said unto them, Doth this offend you?

62 What and if ye shall see the Son of man ascend up where he was before?

63 It is the spirit that quickeneth; the flesh profiteth nothing: the words that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life.

64 But there are some of you that believe not. For Jesus knew from the beginning who they were that believed not, and who should betray him.

65 And he said, Therefore said I unto you, that no man can come unto me, except it were given unto him of my Father.

You are like a confused Jew, Loud Catholic. The words are the bread of life, and are spirit. He is NOT saying "eat me", he is speaking metaphorically. Like in a parable; you've heard of parables, right?
Oh so you are interpreting the Bible as you will? How much more literal could he get than 55 For my flesh is meat indeed, and my blood is drink indeed. Yeah, he said his words are the spirit, he didn't say they were his flesh so thereofre he had to have been reffering to his literal flesh.
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Default Re: Pastor Deacon Fred on Mary Worshiping Papists - 11-18-2008, 10:18 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Proud Mary (worshiper) View Post
Oh so you are interpreting the Bible as you will? How much more literal could he get than 55 For my flesh is meat indeed, and my blood is drink indeed. Yeah, he said his words are the spirit, he didn't say they were his flesh so thereofre he had to have been reffering to his literal flesh.
Show me where in the Bible the Apostles ate His flesh and drank His blood.

Oh, wait, it was only symbolic at the Last Supper, huh? Or are you saying that the Apostles aren't Saved©?


Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
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Default Re: Pastor Deacon Fred on Mary Worshiping Papists - 11-18-2008, 10:35 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
Show me where in the Bible the Apostles ate His flesh and drank His blood.

Oh, wait, it was only symbolic at the Last Supper, huh? Or are you saying that the Apostles aren't Saved©?
They could not eat his bread or drink his blood at the last supper because he had not yet ascended into heaven. (Which you might know if you read the Bible). He was instructing them on what to do. I don't presume to know if the apostles are saved. That is what only God knows. To guess would be to presume the mind of God which would be the sin of pride.


Psalm 5:5 The foolish shall not stand in thy sight: thou hatest all workers of iniquity.
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Default Re: Pastor Deacon Fred on Mary Worshiping Papists - 11-18-2008, 10:37 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Proud Mary (worshiper) View Post
They could not eat his bread or drink his blood at the last supper because he had not yet ascended into heaven. (Which you might know if you read the Bible). He was instructing them on what to do. I don't presume to know if the apostles are saved. That is what only God knows. To guess would be to presume the mind of God which would be the sin of pride.
The Scripture you provided said nothing about eating Him AFTER he ascended into Heaven. Not a word about waiting.

I guess nobody was hungry, eh?

And how can one eat His flesh and drink His blood if He is in Heaven?

Do you have no idea how ridiculous your "religion" sounds to rational people?


Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
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Default Re: Pastor Deacon Fred on Mary Worshiping Papists - 11-18-2008, 10:38 PM

Please explain to me why you deprave yourselves of the word of God! Don't you want to hear his word? Read the seven books removed by Protestants and hear his full word!


Psalm 5:5 The foolish shall not stand in thy sight: thou hatest all workers of iniquity.
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Default Re: Pastor Deacon Fred on Mary Worshiping Papists - 11-18-2008, 10:43 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
The Scripture you provided said nothing about eating Him AFTER he ascended into Heaven. Not a word about waiting.

I guess nobody was hungry, eh?

And how can one eat His flesh and drink His blood if He is in Heaven?

Do you have no idea how ridiculous your "religion" sounds to rational people?
We can eat his flesh and drink his blood through the method he provided in the last supper when he broke the bread, gave thanks and proclaimed that it was his body and blood. We can eat his flesh and drink his blood because he is all powerful and can do what he wants. We do not question him but accept what he so clearly told us to do. I am aware that our beliefs sound strange to people but no one ever said the word of God was easy to accept and I would never presume to understand it all.


Psalm 5:5 The foolish shall not stand in thy sight: thou hatest all workers of iniquity.
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Default Re: Pastor Deacon Fred on Mary Worshiping Papists - 11-18-2008, 10:46 PM

You are presuming to know God's mind when you say he was being metaphorical. I accept the pure unadulturated word while you question it. if you say that was a parable then you could just as easily argue that death on the cross was metaphorical for "being made fun of".


Psalm 5:5 The foolish shall not stand in thy sight: thou hatest all workers of iniquity.
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Default Re: Pastor Deacon Fred on Mary Worshiping Papists - 11-18-2008, 10:50 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Proud Mary (worshiper) View Post
You are presuming to know God's mind when you say he was being metaphorical. I accept the pure unadulturated word while you question it. if you say that was a parable then you could just as easily argue that death on the cross was metaphorical for "being made fun of".
Mary worshiping papists do not follow the Holy Bible, end of story. Each and every one of you bead counters is bound for eernal damnation, and you know it.

Read about the evil truth of the papist cult HERE.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Ezekiel Bathfire Ezekiel Bathfire is offline
Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
Christ's Rottweiler
 

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Default Re: Pastor Deacon Fred on Mary Worshiping Papists - 11-18-2008, 11:29 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Proud Mary (worshiper) View Post
Please explain to me why you deprave yourselves of the word of God! Don't you want to hear his word? Read the seven books removed by Protestants and hear his full word!
Before you damn your soul, read a Bible... I suggest KJV1611. Make your first reference this one:

Re:22:18: For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book:

Now consider Origen, who said, "Concerning these scriptures, which are called apocryphal, for the reason that many things are found in them corrupt and against the true faith handed down by the elders, it has pleased them that they not be given a place nor be admitted to authority."

All sounds pretty clear to me!





“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

Author of such illuminating essays as,
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
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