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Ladies of Landover Senior VP One of the Truest Christians™ Ever Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
True Christian™
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Posts: 12,662
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Standing behind my husband
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True Christian™ "Astrology" -
07-26-2007, 01:09 AM
Now as we all know, astrology is of the devil and God frowns on it immensely.
Isaiah 47:13 Thou art wearied in the multitude of thy counsels. Let now the astrologers, the stargazers, the monthly prognosticators, stand up, and save thee from these things that shall come upon thee.
47:14 Behold, they shall be as stubble; the fire shall burn them; they shall not deliver themselves from the power of the flame: there shall not be a coal to warm at, nor fire to sit before it.
Yet millions of unsaved trash revel in it, and the lieberal media loves printing horrorscopes in their yellow journalist rags daily, much to the delight of Satan and his Wicced minions.
Now I haven't run this by a pastor yet, and my husband (Mr. Whitford) gave me his consent to present this idea, but he said that I must forget such nonsense if any pastors disapprove. So here it is...
A True Christian™ haloscope! It's easy to remember as there are only two "signs", and there is only one prediction for each that remains as consistent as God's Word!
Sinner (Born Jan. 1 - Dec. 31): Jesus has ascended into Heaven but is on His way back. There is still time to make things right by renouncing your filthy ways and dropping to your knees to beg for God's forgiveness! If not, the fiery pain won't hurt any less after the first hundred years or the first billion centuries. HURRY AND REPENT BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!
Saved (Born Again Jan. 1 - Dec. 31): You have been cleansed of sin and are on your way to glory thanks to the Lord's grace. The path is narrow, but now that you're saved, you can not sin anymore so think of it as God's harness for you! Pray often and tithe heartily, as things are only going to get better and better for you! PRAISE!
There is one little bonus to this as well. Next time some witch asks you what your "sign" is, you can reply "Saved" just before you stone her! HALLELUJAH!
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Anvil of the Antipodes
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,269
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: policing mockery of the free internets
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Re: True Christian™ "Astrology" -
07-27-2007, 10:26 PM
You make some thought provoking points sister. Would it not be reasonable to expect all True Christians to change their birthdays to December 25th, and eliminate unnecessary and ungodly celebrations? There is only one birth worth celebrating after all....
The devil, whose business is to pervert the truth, mimics the exact circumstance of the Divine Sacraments. He baptises his believers and promises forgiveness of sins...he celebrates the oblation of bread, and brings in the symbol of the resurrection. Let us therefore acknowledge the craftiness of the devil, who copied certain things of those that be divine." Tertullian (155-222 AD) from The Prescription Against Heretics' Ch XL
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Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
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Posts: 6,639
Join Date: Jun 2007
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Re: True Christian™ "Astrology" -
05-03-2012, 03:23 PM
Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
Got Questions? See Frequently Asked Questions, or use Forum Search, tag system, or our guides on Geography, History, Science, Comparative Religion, Civics, and Current Events.
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Senior Pastor Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™ Always Biblically correct
True Christian™
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Posts: 10,667
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 13706 Levite's Sojourn Terr., Gibeah Hill, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: True Christian™ "Astrology" -
05-03-2012, 05:36 PM
As Mrs. Whitford has pointed out, God hates the heathen practice of astrology. Instead, the stars are there for a completely different purpose, namely, signs, seasons, days, and years:
Genesis 1:14: And God said, Let there be lights in the firmament of the heaven to divide the day from the night; and let them be for signs, and for seasons, and for days, and years:
This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
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With faith as immovable as the Earth
True Christian™
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Posts: 4,779
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Body in England but HEART IN FREEHOLD!
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Re: True Christian™ "Astrology" -
05-03-2012, 09:11 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Isaac Peters
As Mrs. Whitford has pointed out, God hates the heathen practice of astrology. Instead, the stars are there for a completely different purpose, namely, signs, seasons, days, and years:
Genesis 1:14: And God said, Let there be lights in the firmament of the heaven to divide the day from the night; and let them be for signs, and for seasons, and for days, and years:
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I have often wondered why belief in astrology is so linked to a liking for anal sex. Does ANYBODY know any man who believes in astrology that isn't a homo?
This is Russell Grant. A typical UK 'arse'trologer.
YIC
Jack
Genesis 22:2 And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.
I know God wouldn't let me believe in Him if He didn't exist.
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Posts: 14,666
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
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Re: True Christian™ "Astrology" -
05-04-2012, 02:05 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack O'fagan
This is Russell Grant. A typical UK 'arse'trologer.
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(loox like he's been at the arsenic..)
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Former Mary Hailer who has seen The Light©
True Christian™
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Posts: 10,391
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Surrounded By Married Homos and Baby Killers in Godless England
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Re: True Christian™ "Astrology" -
05-04-2012, 03:39 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor
(loox like he's been at the arsenic..)
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Why are his eyes upside down?
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Posts: 14,666
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
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Re: True Christian™ "Astrology" -
05-04-2012, 04:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Redeemed Papist
Why are his eyes upside down?
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(he's English)
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 864
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Following God's commands - including the 'difficult' ones.
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Re: True Christian™ "Astrology" -
05-04-2012, 04:44 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack O'fagan
I have often wondered why belief in astrology is so linked to a liking for anal sex. Does ANYBODY know any man who believes in astrology that isn't a homo?
This is Russell Grant. A typical UK 'arse'trologer.
YIC
Jack
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More worryingly he is dressed as a mooselimb
Genesis 7:5
And Noah did according unto all that the LORD commanded him.
John 8:32
And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,765
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry, Redding, CA
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Re: True Christian™ "Astrology" -
05-04-2012, 05:52 PM
Luke 21:25 tells us that, in the end times, "there shall be signs in the sun, and in the moon, and in the stars; and upon the earth distress of nations, with perplexity; the sea and the waves roaring...." Since, as Jesus told us in Luke 21:8, "the time draweth near." So I'd say it's a virtual certainty that there are signs in the stars now--but it is still a sin to try to read them.
Draft Freehold, Iowa Mayor
Johny Joe Hold
for Vice President in 2024
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Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance Christ's Rottweiler
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Posts: 22,742
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
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Re: True Christian™ "Astrology" -
05-04-2012, 08:15 PM
We know Jesus was a Capricorn so this is interesting, from http://www.astrology-online.com/capricrn.htm
Quote:
LIKES
Reliability
Professionalism
Knowing what you discuss
Firm Foundations
Purpose
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Nobody is going to disagree.
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DISLIKES
Wild Schemes
Fantasies
Go-nowhere jobs
Ignominy
Ridicule
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I'm not sure here. Jesus loved a Wild Scheme - Everyone stops being Jewish and becomes Christian! Jesus had no time for fantasies - He actually walked on water and rose from the dead!
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Jesus's job was "Go to Heaven!" and He did!
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Ignomy is wrong - Jesus wanted the ignomy of Crucifixion - He knew it was coming. He doesn't want the ignomy like the way atheists think he's a bogus cretin mired in the past though. So He sends them to Hell.
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Capricorn! About Your Sign...
The sign Capricorn is one of the most stable and (mostly) serious of the zodiacal types. These independent, rocklike characters have many sterling qualities. They are normally confident, strong willed and calm.
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This is definitiely Jesus - He builds things on Rocks and goes up rocks in the Wilderness
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[They] are capable of persisting for as long as is necessary to accomplish a goal they have set for themselves.
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So true! We are waiting on Jesus's return and have been doing for 2000 years
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Capricorn are [...] the major finishers of most projects started by the 'pioneering' signs; with firm stick-to-it-ness they quickly become the backbone of any company they work for.
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Certainly true of the Trinity. And Jesus can be relied upon to return and slaughter all 2.3Billion sinners (as per Revelations)
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Capricorn[set] high standards for themselves and others.
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He was Perfect and expects perfection of us (although we fall short)
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They strive always for honesty in their criticism of self,
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When did Jesus ever tell a lie?
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they respect discipline from above and demand it from those beneath them.
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Isn't this Jesus exactly?
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In their methodical, tough, stubborn, unyielding way, they persist against personal hardship, putting their families and/or their work before their own needs and welfare to reach their objectives long after others have given up and fallen by the wayside.
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Not too sure about this: Jesus said that families will fight among themselves becasue of Him and that we should leave families behind.
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They plan carefully to fulfill their ambitions (which often include becoming wealthy), they are economical without meanness, and able to achieve great results with minimum effort and expense. Because of their organizing ability they are able to work on several projects simultaneously.
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Jesus had no use for money (although He was never short of a few Shekels, I imagine that He simply made a mioracle to produce the money needed. The Bible is strangley silent on te financial side - probably because "God will provide.)
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They have a great respect for authority
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We're speaking God The Father here, for Whom Jesus had nothing but respect.
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but may not, if they reach high rank, be willing to listen to other opinions on things they are directly responsible for.
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Here wwe are talking Pharisees
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As the ranking authority figure in a given situation they expect their underlings to be as self disciplined as they themselves are, and to perform every task.
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True! All the Disciples could speak every language and do miracles.
However, as has been pointed out, all Astrology is garbage.
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Posts: 14,666
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
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Re: True Christian™ "Astrology" -
05-04-2012, 10:29 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire
We know Jesus was a Capricorn...However, as has been pointed out, all Astrology is garbage.
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Does Jesus' relationship with the stars differ from ours because He made them (and we didn't) Mr Bathfire? John 1:3a All things were made by him.. whole chapter ©1611
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Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance Christ's Rottweiler
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Posts: 22,742
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
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Re: True Christian™ "Astrology" -
05-05-2012, 10:27 AM
I don't want this important thread to go off-topic, but here's a parable:
There once was a man who built a bookshelf upon which to keep his Bibles. His wife (a woman) placed many bibles thereupon and the shelf fell off the wall. His wife, thereupon, did speak unto her husband and chastise him for the workmanship.
So it is with Jesus: He made the stars for light at night, and not for the purpose of witchcraftery!
(I told Mrs Bathfire that the wall was not strong enough to hold 87 Bibles, but would she listen...)
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