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Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology) Victim of atheist scientific persecution
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Posts: 10,337
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
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Happy Birthday, Mr. Putin -
10-10-2015, 04:42 AM
As we all know, the at-the-moment-Godliest president Mr. Vladimir Putin celebrated his 63rd birthday recently, on October 5th 2015. As always, Landover Baptist Church representatives were there to worship Jesus and revere Mr. Putin for his achievements: spreading the Gospel of God to the former Commie Nations and gradually to other parts of the Earth, too; and getting the world to respect once more the Godly laws regarding Big Sodomy.
Isaiah 8:16
Bind up the testimony, seal the law among my disciples.
Mr. Putin's celebrations were magnificent. He's a man with extraordinary physical stamina, so he arranged an ice-hockey match in the Black Sea (this REALLY does not have anything to do with Hamites!) resort of Sochi.
Quote:
The Russian leader showed off his skills in an arena used in the 2014 Winter Olympics, personally striking in seven shots [This is magnificent]. Cheered on by the crowd, his team, which included his defence minister Sergei Shoigu and a clutch of ex-NHL stars, won 15-10. The losing team included old friends of Putin, including some of the wealthiest businessmen in Russia.
The event was the latest of many to show Putin as physically fit and victorious.
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This shows that Mr. Putin is not only pivotal in world politics but also always aims to the top when it comes to athletics. We're expecting to see the match of the millennium when Presidents Putin and Trump meet in the Olympic hockey finals in 2018 (in all friendship and brotherly rivalry, of course).
Gradually, the atheist/Jooish media is also recognizing the significance of Mr. Putin as the New Hope for Mankind. In addition to his victorious game, also magnificent fireworks were arranged to make this great day even better!
Quote:
It would be hard to imagine a more perfect birthday for Vladimir V. Putin, the president of Russia, who turned 63 on Wednesday.
After receiving a report from his defense minister that Russia had launched a major cruise missile strike on Syria — [, sorry to intervene but it IS most appropriate] a move further confounding American policy in the Middle East — Mr. Putin celebrated his birthday by playing a game of hockey with N.H.L. veterans, and winning.
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Psalms 11:6
Upon the wicked he shall rain snares, fire and brimstone, and an horrible tempest: this shall be the portion of their cup.
Quote:
Elsewhere in Russia, the leader of Chechnya, Ramzan Kadyrov, rode with a pro-Kremlin motorcycle gang, the Night Wolves, to celebrate Mr. Putin’s birthday.
In the Chechen capital, Grozny, a soccer game was dedicated to the president’s birthday, and a huge banner unfurled on the field. It read: “The best president[this is, of course, the current situation soon to be remedied in the American elections]. Happy Birthday!”
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Hebrews 4:12
For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.
Landover Baptist Church was there with a superb cake by courtesy of our True Christian™ ladies' inspiration.
After the fun and games it was time for business. Landover Baptist Delegation discussed important issues of world politics with Mr. Putin with some special deliveries and messages from Mr. Trump. We have now a preliminary agreement on the division of the European Nations between these two leaders, as Mr. Putin has graciously promised to annex, in addition to the former Commie Nations, also repulsive papist Mediterranean Countries, Scandinavia and the Germanic nations, while Mr. Trump will once again rule the British and Nether Regions. France is unfortunately disputed as no-on really seems to care for it. We are certain that all this will be resolved by the time Mr. Trump sits on the American Throne.
Genesis 10:5
By these were the isles of the Gentiles divided in their lands; every one after his tongue, after their families, in their nations.
The atmosphere was warm, welcoming and spectacular. The LBC Delegation Pastors asked everyone to join in prayer and worship of Jesus, who made possible these terrific festivities. Selected verses were also read by Mr. Putin himself in Slavonic but also in plain and only slightly accented American. A great day to the world and to Landover Baptist Church!
Isaiah 38:18
For the grave cannot praise thee, death can not celebrate thee: they that go down into the pit cannot hope for thy truth.
Such a manly and SENSITIVE man!
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Happy Birthday, Mr. Putin -
10-10-2015, 05:22 AM
Praise Jesus, I was there. Brother Putin made Jesus proud that day.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology) Victim of atheist scientific persecution
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Posts: 10,337
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
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Re: Happy Birthday, Mr. Putin -
10-10-2015, 05:38 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Praise Jesus, I was there. Brother Putin made Jesus proud that day.
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Verily, Pastor. Those tears were shed by Mr. Putin during your recitation of Ezekiel 38-39!
Ezekiel 38:15
And thou shalt come from thy place out of the north parts, thou, and many people with thee, all of them riding upon horses, a great company, and a mighty army:
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
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Re: Happy Birthday, Mr. Putin -
10-10-2015, 05:14 PM
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
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Re: Happy Birthday, Mr. Putin -
10-10-2015, 05:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Praise Jesus, I was there. Brother Putin made Jesus proud that day.
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Yes! We heard you had a marvelous time enjoying the Russian Birthday traditions!
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Apostle to the Samites and Laplander Eskimos.
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Posts: 5,720
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Surrounded by feral eskimos.
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Re: Happy Birthday, Mr. Putin -
10-10-2015, 06:56 PM
Happy Birthday, Mr. Putin. You truly are one of the great Americans, along with Ronald Reagan and Jesus.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 1,330
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: In the kitchen
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Re: Happy Birthday, Mr. Putin -
10-10-2015, 10:26 PM
Happy birthday, Mr. Putin!
"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Posts: 14,666
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
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Re: Happy Birthday, Mr. Putin -
09-23-2022, 11:13 AM
Less than a fortnight to go! And a wonderful opportunity to celebrate this special occasion in an age-appropriate way. Because we're thinking that in the age of postmodernity and identity politics, it's not how we see one another that's important but how we see ourselves.
MAKE YOUR OWN BIRTHDAY CARD
Simply select your mystery design from the thumbnails below, click or tap to enlarge to a suitable size, drag or send to printer or kiosk and fold the resulting page according to your preference. A light card is best if you have a choice of paper – a photo kiosk will already provide this, of course.
It's a jolly tale from France, a country well known for it's joie de vivre, fizzing champagne, gurgling clarets and burgundies, green Chartreuse which I cannot recommend after drinking a bottle the other day to try it out for a cocktail recipe, cheeses, croissants and yummy soup de poisson, the latter being a French alternative to your own wonderful caviar.
SPECIAL SURPRISE BONUS !
There is one graphic panel with a space for your own birthday message.
Can you guess the right one?
Best results on plain paper from a solid ink printer.
And all the best for the exciting year ahead!
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An old soul
True Christian™
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Posts: 5,234
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: USA-UK-France (traveling)
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Re: Happy Birthday, Mr. Putin -
09-23-2022, 06:35 PM
Rumors of his ill health are unfounded. Indeed, it is his former colleagues who are dying not him. Here he is looking dapper (is that still a word?).
Draft Freehold, Iowa Mayor
Johny Joe Hold
for President in 2024
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Mayor of Freehold
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Posts: 12,171
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Happy Birthday, Mr. Putin -
09-23-2022, 07:18 PM
After a birthday swim in icy water, guess who takes in some winter sun.
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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An old soul
True Christian™
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Posts: 5,234
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: USA-UK-France (traveling)
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Re: Happy Birthday, Mr. Putin -
09-23-2022, 08:16 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold
After a birthday swim in icy water, guess who takes in some winter sun.
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That sounds like something our dear Dr. Elmer might do. He's so close to Russia he can practically shake hands with Putin from his avanto.
Draft Freehold, Iowa Mayor
Johny Joe Hold
for President in 2024
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 672
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin
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Re: Happy Birthday, Mr. Putin -
10-01-2022, 12:21 PM
I think a wonderful community gift would be 100,000 tampons. Apparently useful in plugging up bullet holes on the front line
Russian conscripts told to ‘stick tampons in bullet wounds’ and bring car first aid kits... - LBC
And ladies, before you send them, I think they should not have been previously used, or at least been given a good wash.
58 If thou wilt not observe to do all the words of this law that are written in this book, that thou mayest fear this glorious and fearful name, THE LORD THY GOD; 59 Then the LORD will make thy plagues wonderful, and the plagues of thy seed, even great plagues, and of long continuance, and sore sicknesses, and of long continuance. 60 Moreover he will bring upon thee all the diseases of Egypt, which thou wast afraid of; and they shall cleave unto thee. 61 Also every sickness, and every plague, which is not written in the book of this law, them will the LORD bring k upon thee, until thou be destroyed.
Deuteronomy 28: 58- 61
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 1
Join Date: Jun 2022
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Re: Happy Birthday, Mr. Putin -
10-01-2022, 03:14 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phil Ander
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Mr Ander,
Putins birthday was a week ago.
Yic,
JM
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 672
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin
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Re: Happy Birthday, Mr. Putin -
10-01-2022, 04:12 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Mooney
Mr Ander,
Putins birthday was a week ago.
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Is that so? What part of the future are you living in? Get with the game and send him some tampons. It's a community gift, you don't have to send him all 100,000.
Phil
58 If thou wilt not observe to do all the words of this law that are written in this book, that thou mayest fear this glorious and fearful name, THE LORD THY GOD; 59 Then the LORD will make thy plagues wonderful, and the plagues of thy seed, even great plagues, and of long continuance, and sore sicknesses, and of long continuance. 60 Moreover he will bring upon thee all the diseases of Egypt, which thou wast afraid of; and they shall cleave unto thee. 61 Also every sickness, and every plague, which is not written in the book of this law, them will the LORD bring k upon thee, until thou be destroyed.
Deuteronomy 28: 58- 61
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Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology) Victim of atheist scientific persecution
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Posts: 10,337
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
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Re: Happy Birthday, Mr. Putin -
10-07-2022, 08:02 AM
Today one of Mr. Christ's bestest friends, Mr. Putin celebrates his 70th Birthday. I am sure that there are going to be glorious parades and exhibitions of Christian might on the Muscovite Boulevards and Squares. Glory. I am quite sure that with his powerful prayers and sheer muscular strength Mr. Putin will reach the honorable age of fourscore years in no time!
Psalms 90:10
The days of our years are threescore years and ten; and if by reason of strength they be fourscore years, yet is their strength labour and sorrow; for it is soon cut off, and we fly away.
Because of the heavy persecution caused by the heroic denazification of Youcrane, Mr. Putin will eventually gain a very prestigious position by Mr. Christ's side in Heaven.
Matthew 5:10
Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
2 Corinthians 4:9
Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
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True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
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Posts: 8,776
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Surrounded by heathens
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Re: Happy Birthday, Mr. Putin -
10-07-2022, 10:37 AM
Brother Mr President Putin, Sir! May you enjoy an excellent day, with many victories.
As an aside, I would just like to mention my family's great disappointment at the Nobel committee's failure to award you this year's Peace Prize for your work in the Ukrainian SSR. It's only a small thing, but it would have made a thoughtful gift.
Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,438
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: Happy Birthday, Mr. Putin -
10-07-2022, 11:21 AM
Putin is one of those few non-Americans who make me feel proud to be a Christian!
Revelation 6:2 " I looked, and there before me was a white horse! Its rider held a bow, and he was given a crown, and he rode out as a conqueror bent on conquest."
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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