[Dolores de Barriga]

I have an announcement to make. As some of you may remember, I am a Ph.D. student at the University of Chicago. My main field of study has been the history of religions, but until recently, I did not have a clear plan of what exactly I wanted to do for my dissertation research. A few months ago I've stumbled upon this website, which allowed me to know - albeit superficially - the Landover Baptist congregation. It occurred to me, that I could focus my research on this specific congregation.

I have been in contact with Pastor E. Flint, and I am honored by his willingness to allow me to come to Freehold and study his congregation. Since it would be too much of a commute to drive from Illinois to Iowa and back, I am transferring to the Department of Anthropology at the University of Iowa, and I'm looking for a place to live between Iowa City and Des Moines. I know, it's going to be a bit of drive from Iowa City to Freehold, but the UI is the closest public institution which offers a Ph.D. degree in anthropology.

So, I'm actually starting next semester!! I'm looking forward to meeting many of you in person!

Aside from my professional goals, I am also hoping to repair my own faith in God through the study of this God-fearing congregation. I do hope that you will teach me what is the secret which allows your faith to be so strong and vibrant!

[John Creeser]

Well, if Pastor Ezekiel sanctioned this....a cautious welcome.

(I would have preferred a male anthrowhatever, Pastor Ezekiel).

[Dolores de Barriga]

Originally Posted by John Creeser

Well, if Pastor Ezekiel sanctioned this....a cautious welcome.

Thank you, Mr. Creeser. I do promise to be respectful at all times.

(I would have preferred a male anthrowhatever, Pastor Ezekiel).

Yes, I do realize that my sex is seen as inferior in your community. I hope, however, that because I belong to the weaker sex, my mistakes and shortcomings will be more easily forgiven.

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Originally Posted by Dolores de Barriga

Thank you, Mr. Creeser. I do promise to be respectful at all times.



Yes, I do realize that my sex is seen as inferior in your community. I hope, however, that because I belong to the weaker sex, my mistakes and shortcomings will be more easily forgiven.

Dolores, dear, it is a wonderful opportunity! However, just because we are female, does not our sins will be forgiven more easily. As my husband says, "Just because God created you inferior, it does not mean your sins are any less inferior or trivial." Just a friendly tip.

[Jim Farmer]

I wouldn't be taking your rosarpository beads into Freehold, if I were you

[Dolores de Barriga]

Originally Posted by Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson

Dolores, dear, it is a wonderful opportunity! However, just because we are female, does not our sins will be forgiven more easily. As my husband says, "Just because God created you inferior, it does not mean your sins are any less inferior or trivial." Just a friendly tip.

True, Mrs. Johnson. I will do my best to respect and follow the customs of the Freehold community.

Originally Posted by Jim Farmer

I wouldn't be taking your rosarpository beads into Freehold, if I were you

Of course not, Mr. Farmer. I will not bring anything to Freehold that would be offending to its residents.

[Witch Hammer]

"Baptists in The Mist"?

[Johny Joe Hold]

You should be made aware, Miss Aspiring Professoress, there will be limited opportunities for observation in Freehold. The City Government's meetings are not just open to anyone. We have a policy of open meetings, "Your meetings had better be open but don't try to get into ours."

Then, perhaps you say to yourself, "I think I'll sit in on Pastor Zeke's sermon next Sunday observe behavior of the natives." You will find yourself saved and a member of the group you came observe. Pastor Zeke gives stem-winding sermons that bring atheists to their knees.

Also, Freehold PD is always on the look out for homers disguised as, for example, anthropology graduate students.

Please keep City Hall informed of your activities.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

She said she was good in the kitchen. I thought she was another wetback applying for a job.

[Dolores de Barriga]

Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold

You should be made aware, Miss Aspiring Professoress, there will be limited opportunities for observation in Freehold. The City Government's meetings are not just open to anyone. We have a policy of open meetings, "Your meetings had better be open but don't try to get into ours."

Then, perhaps you say to yourself, "I think I'll sit in on Pastor Zeke's sermon next Sunday observe behavior of the natives." You will find yourself saved and a member of the group you came observe. Pastor Zeke gives stem-winding sermons that bring atheists to their knees.

Oh, I do sincerely hope so, Mr. Mayor!

Also, Freehold PD is always on the look out for homers disguised as, for example, anthropology graduate students.

Please keep City Hall informed of your activities.

I will. I am in the process of acquiring an IRB (Internal Review Board) approval for my research on human subjects proposal, and I've mailed you and Pastor E. Flint this proposal, which contains the exploratory research question and preliminary questionnaires which I will be administering to the members of your Church.

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

She said she was good in the kitchen. I thought she was another wetback applying for a job.

I do apologize if I made myself unclear when we spoke on the phone. You will receive all the paperwork shortly!

[Johny Joe Hold]

As we await your credentials, it occurred to me we should have agreements about certain matters.

I have read anthropologists write what are called "Field Notes". Apparently, they look at something and write down what they see.

I believe your Field Notes should be examined by the men who have leadership positions in Freehold and in Landover Baptist Church. For your own protection, we would like to know what you think you have seen.

We would not, for example, want your Field Notes to find that you had seen something not legal being done by the Freehold Mayor. We would not want them saying you saw something not Jesus-like being done by the Senior Pastor at LBC. Such events do not happen thus if they were in your Notes the Notes would need to be corrected.

In order to prevent these mistakes from happening, the Notes need to be reviewed by those in charge.

I hope we will not have a problem getting access to your notes. It would be most helpful if you would write your notes in soft pencil and drop them off at City Hall at the end of each day. I will review them and then deliver them to Pastor Zeke's study.

[JustGotSaved]

If you like, i'm sure some of us could make ourselves available for display in some sort of ZOO you have planned / SARC

what the Holy Trinity is this?

[Faith_Machine]

ARE YOU HERE TO PERSECUTE US?

[Elmer G. White]

Originally Posted by Dolores de Barriga

Of course not, Mr. Farmer. I will not bring anything to Freehold that would be offending to its residents.

While I mostly spend my time preaching the Gospel to sinners all over the world I am still a bit worried about your field of study, anthropology. It shares some phonetical associations with apologetics and a word with theological anthropology but there are also some caveats!

1. How do you plan to harmonize your material with the Bible? Usually one takes precedence and in Creation Science it is and must always be the Bible.
2. Anthropology NEVER ignores to study meticulously the sexual habits of its subjects. This is going to be a big problem for you when you try to publish your results in peer-reviewed journals as True Christians™ have no sexual habits but only procreation. In fact, most of anthropology studies only fornication as exemplified here.
3. I think that the supervision team of your study should include several LBC-based Creation Scientists not only to give advice but to be included as authors especially regarding high impact-factor journals. Yes, I am talking Nature here. I am talking Science. You are welcome to analyze the material and write the stuff. We can thereafter contribute. We can be your Japheths.

Genesis 9:23
And Shem and Japheth took a garment, and laid it upon both their shoulders, and went backward, and covered the nakedness of their father; and their faces were backward, and they saw not their father's nakedness.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Witch Hammer]

Originally Posted by JustGotSaved

If you like, i'm sure some of us could make ourselves available for display in some sort of ZOO you have planned / SARC

what the Holy Trinity is this?

...or, Heaven forbid, stuffed, mounted and placed in some macabre menagerie, perhaps even arranged in sexually suggestive positions.

Preserve us from evil, Lord!

[Faith_Machine]

Dolores, have you gotten right with God? Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal savior? I would hate for you to die before that happened.

Given how dangerous your profession can be, especially for anthropologists who've angered the people they were studying, I will pray for your safety.

And for your soul, of course.

[Dolores de Barriga]

Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold

As we await your credentials, it occurred to me we should have agreements about certain matters.

I have read anthropologists write what are called "Field Notes". Apparently, they look at something and write down what they see.

I believe your Field Notes should be examined by the men who have leadership positions in Freehold and in Landover Baptist Church. For your own protection, we would like to know what you think you have seen.

We would not, for example, want your Field Notes to find that you had seen something not legal being done by the Freehold Mayor. We would not want them saying you saw something not Jesus-like being done by the Senior Pastor at LBC. Such events do not happen thus if they were in your Notes the Notes would need to be corrected.

In order to prevent these mistakes from happening, the Notes need to be reviewed by those in charge.

I hope we will not have a problem getting access to your notes. It would be most helpful if you would write your notes in soft pencil and drop them off at City Hall at the end of each day. I will review them and then deliver them to Pastor Zeke's study.

Dear Mr. Mayor:

I will have to see if the University of Iowa Internal Review Board would agree with such a requirement. I'm sure that if you use your influence on the IRB, they will be inclined to expedite their approval, including your request.

In fact, I would like to go ahead and send you some of my initial notes which I have written down since I have registered on this forum. There are just 763 pages of them. Some are written in English, some in Spanish, with a little bit of French here and there. Here is a sample from one of the pages:



When I arrive to Iowa, I expect to write about 20-50 pages of fieldnotes every day. Again, they will be handwritten and in several languages.

I understand that my handwriting poses a little bit of a challenge to some readers, and the different languages won't help either, so maybe we could compromise: I will keep all my fieldnotes for myself, but every day I will produce a one-page typed summary, which I will email to your our your secretary email address.

Would that be OK?

Originally Posted by JustGotSaved

If you like, i'm sure some of us could make ourselves available for display in some sort of ZOO you have planned / SARC

what the Holy Trinity is this?

Thank you for your enthusiasm, Mr. JustGotSaved, but no participation in displays will be required of you nor any other Freehold residents. When I'm there, I want you all act natural, as if I wasn't present. Except of course, when I'm asking questions, then I would be grateful to get answers.

Originally Posted by Faith_Machine

ARE YOU HERE TO PERSECUTE US?

No, Mr. Machine. Absolutely not. Wouldn't it be cool, if after completion of my dissertation - a long and painfully produced document that nobody ever will read - I could write a book about Freehold and its happy God-fearing residents? I can make you all famous!

Originally Posted by Elmer G. White

While I mostly spend my time preaching the Gospel to sinners all over the world I am still a bit worried about your field of study, anthropology. It shares some phonetical associations with apologetics and a word with theological anthropology but there are also some caveats!

1. How do you plan to harmonize your material with the Bible? Usually one takes precedence and in Creation Science it is and must always be the Bible.

I will respect the beliefs of the community and I will be more than happy to present the views of the community members (which in anthropology we call the emic perspective), along with the anthropological analysis.

2. Anthropology NEVER ignores to study meticulously the sexual habits of its subjects. This is going to be a big problem for you when you try to publish your results in peer-reviewed journals as True Christians™ have no sexual habits but only procreation. In fact, most of anthropology studies only fornication as exemplified here.

I am very happy to report that anthropology did change since 1933, and I'm no Margaret Mead. Which means, I will not focus on the sex and temperament in your Godly society.

3. I think that the supervision team of your study should include several LBC-based Creation Scientists not only to give advice but to be included as authors especially regarding high impact-factor journals. Yes, I am talking Nature here. I am talking Science. You are welcome to analyze the material and write the stuff. We can thereafter contribute. We can be your Japheths.

I will be more than happy to coauthor articles with my key informants! It is actually becoming quite a trend in cultural anthropology, and I would love to be trendy. However, the journals I'm aspiring to publish in are American Antrhopologist and Current Anthropology, not Nature and Science.

I am very grateful for your input, Dr. White!

Originally Posted by Faith_Machine

Dolores, have you gotten right with God? Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal savior? I would hate for you to die before that happened.

Given how dangerous your profession can be, especially for anthropologists who've angered the people they were studying, I will pray for your safety.

And for your soul, of course.

Thank you, Mr. Machine, that is very thoughtful of you. While I haven't accepted Jesus as my Savior yet, I do hope that fieldwork in your community will allow me to do just that. Also, I will do my best to respect the local customs and thus not anger the members of the community!

[Faith_Machine]

So you're saying it's your goal to accept Jesus as your savior? Then what are you waiting for, woman? We can do this right here, right now.

Step one: Confess your sins to Jesus (not some whiskey-soaked priest).

Let me know once you're done with step one and I'll tell you the next fun and easy-to-follow step.

[Basilissa]

I don't trust this liberal-(ex)Catholic-feminazi woman. She probably is one of these secret agents the IRS is sending to sniff around churches. All of us have to be very vigilant around this woman, and be very careful what we are saying around her.

[Dolores de Barriga]

Originally Posted by Faith_Machine

So you're saying it's your goal to accept Jesus as your savior? Then what are you waiting for, woman? We can do this right here, right now.

Step one: Confess your sins to Jesus (not some whiskey-soaked priest).

Let me know once you're done with step one and I'll tell you the next fun and easy-to-follow step.

Oh, I do wish it was so easy, Mr. Machine. The problem is, my faith isn't there. Yet. I cannot say that I accept Jesus when my head tells me there is no God and my heart tells me that if there is a God then He doesn't care about people. I hope my fieldwork in Freehold to be a healing experience for me, an experience which will restore my faith. Then I will be ready to accept Jesus as my Savior.

Originally Posted by Basilissa

I don't trust this liberal-(ex)Catholic-feminazi woman. She probably is one of these secret agents the IRS is sending to sniff around churches. All of us have to be very vigilant around this woman, and be very careful what we are saying around her.

I know it will be difficult for me, an unsaved outsider, to establish trust and friendship with the members of this congregation. However, I want to reassure you that I have no connections with any government, and a large part of my IRB approval process includes assurances that the subjects of my study will not be harmed in any way.