General Church Fellowship A place for True Christians to join in praise, faith and fellowship. |
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Posts: 140
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Godly America
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Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! -
10-22-2015, 01:43 AM
I'll happily join
Men's medium
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 44
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Los Angeles (City of Angels, thank you Jesus)
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Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! -
10-23-2015, 04:21 AM
Why is there a thread for this? Masturbation is a sin, do you need your parents to spoon feed you too? Why would you need someone to tell you not to sin?
Unbelievable, I will pray for you hairy palm folks.
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,984
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! -
10-23-2015, 04:40 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by YouRaiseMeUp
Why is there a thread for this? Masturbation is a sin, do you need your parents to spoon feed you too? Why would you need someone to tell you not to sin?
Unbelievable, I will pray for you hairy palm folks.
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Hey pal, a huge portion of the Bible is devoted to telling you not to sin. Are you claiming we don't need the Bible?
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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Guarding his purity against all comers
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,239
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: OzTrailer
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Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! -
10-23-2015, 06:40 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by YouRaiseMeUp
Why is there a thread for this? Masturbation is a sin, do you need your parents to spoon feed you too? Why would you need someone to tell you not to sin?
Unbelievable, I will pray for you hairy palm folks.
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Who in Hell do you think you are? Sister Daisy does more work for Landover, in fact for the whole of Freehold than most people do anywhere else.
You are way out of your depth on this one girly. In fact you are about to drown in whooparse. This thread is most relevant to everything we do here at Landover Baptist Forums. The Anti-M project is vital. I suggest you research a member in here before puting your toung in dog crap and typing out Verbal Diarrhea again. You just don't interfere with a True Christian™ Cause
What have you done here apart from brown nose everyones threads with agreeable replies and wishful posts.
Pull your head in, warmly.
Ecclesiastes 1:18 - For in much wisedome is much griefe: and hee that increaseth knowledge, increaseth sorrow.
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Guarding his purity against all comers
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,239
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: OzTrailer
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Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! -
10-23-2015, 06:41 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine
Hey pal, a huge portion of the Bible is devoted to telling you not to sin. Are you claiming we don't need the Bible?
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An excellent point.
Ecclesiastes 1:18 - For in much wisedome is much griefe: and hee that increaseth knowledge, increaseth sorrow.
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South of the Border outreach program True Christian™
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Posts: 13,156
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
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Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! -
10-24-2015, 01:55 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by YouRaiseMeUp
Why is there a thread for this? Masturbation is a sin, do you need your parents to spoon feed you too? Why would you need someone to tell you not to sin?
Unbelievable, I will pray for you hairy palm folks.
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Hi, sweetie. Brother FM has raised an excellent point. Also, please remember that even Godly folks may sometimes fall into the Devil's temptation. A good example is Godly Jim Bakker, who was jailed for fraud, repented, admitted that Devil made him do it, and now sells pricey survival kits (I suspect sooner or later we'll hear another admission that Devil made him do it).
God still loves us if we fall into temptation, get caught, then repent and admit that Devil made us do it (so it was not really our fault).
Praise for being such an accommodating God!
1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us [our] sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
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Possibly retarded pothead
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Posts: 1,003
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Here in Babylon
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Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! -
10-24-2015, 02:46 AM
Black men in Babylon have no need to touch themselves. I find that I am rebuked if I mention the white girls very much so I will just say that this does not apply.
Sing unto God, sing praises to his name: Extol him that rideth upon the heavens By his name JAH, and rejoice before him.-Psalms 68:4
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 44
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Los Angeles (City of Angels, thank you Jesus)
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Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! -
10-24-2015, 05:33 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Back against wall
Who in Hell do you think you are? Sister Daisy does more work for Landover, in fact for the whole of Freehold than most people do anywhere else.
You are way out of your depth on this one girly. In fact you are about to drown in whooparse. This thread is most relevant to everything we do here at Landover Baptist Forums. The Anti-M project is vital. I suggest you research a member in here before puting your toung in dog crap and typing out Verbal Diarrhea again. You just don't interfere with a True Christian™ Cause
What have you done here apart from brown nose everyones threads with agreeable replies and wishful posts.
Pull your head in, warmly.
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Your mother has a brown nose from peeking into ***potty language*** too deep, BAWls Deep. I've been patient with you, and I treated you exactly how Jesus would have treated you, but you have constantly been berating me and singling me out. You are such a lowly person, no sycamore tree is big enough to help you see Jesus.
Leave me alone, I have no time for you Satan.
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Matt 19:14 Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.
True Christian™
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Posts: 816
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! -
10-24-2015, 06:25 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by YouRaiseMeUp
Your mother has a brown nose from peeking into ***potty language*** too deep, BAWls Deep. I've been patient with you, and I treated you exactly how Jesus would have treated you, but you have constantly been berating me and singling me out. You are such a lowly person, no sycamore tree is big enough to help you see Jesus.
Leave me alone, I have no time for you Satan.
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Hi there li'l fella! I see by the words you use and the way you use them that you are a younger li'l guy, aren't ya? It's OK. I can see that the Lord still has some work to do on you yet! It's a wonderful thing getting older and learning to use the computer! Why don't we plan on having a nice long prayer session together to talk about some other wonderful things you are going to encounter as you grow? I have so much to show you that is sure going to surprise you!
God wants you to know just how much of God's love you can have in you at one time! God loves you. Do you love God? Are you ready to show me how much you love God? I'll have one of the tithing counselor's get in touch with your daddy to make the bus ticket arrangements!
Remember, we are going to do this because we want to plant the seed of faith deep within you! Isaiah 28:24 "Does the farmer plow continually to plant seed?" This one does... This one does....
Slathered in the Fresh Hot Blood of the Infant Christ, -Youth Minister Harry Lester
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Guarding his purity against all comers
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,239
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: OzTrailer
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Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! -
10-24-2015, 08:56 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by YouRaiseMeUp
Your mother has a brown nose from peeking into ***potty language*** too deep
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... annnd there he is.
Back on Topic.
Since my wife recently dropped dead, cold as a popsicle, last week I think (I forget) I've had those nights where a Woman would of come in handy to service my needs. So rather than fall into that disgusting Sin of "M" I decided to use what was available to me as a deterrent.
So I had a picture framed. Best "M" deterrent I have ever had at hand.
Here I am she says, I don't think so, whore.
I swear this is an anti-disiac if ever there was one.
Ecclesiastes 1:18 - For in much wisedome is much griefe: and hee that increaseth knowledge, increaseth sorrow.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 29
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Proving Darwin wrong every day!
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Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! -
10-24-2015, 09:09 AM
Proud to say that after 7 years of cleanliness, I'm an official member of the anti-masturbation club.
Creationist college student in training.
http:/freehovind.com/index
Free Brother Hovind!
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Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
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Posts: 9,051
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Surrounded by queers.
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Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! -
10-24-2015, 09:16 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by CreationistRoger
Proud to say that after 7 years of cleanliness, I'm an official member of the anti-masturbation club.
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Powerful testimony, young man. Would you dare to care to share the most effective method you found most effective in effectively reducing the sticky issue of your ritual self rape to zero?
I have a young, eager young clean limbed young nephew, you see.
'Mming' is always an issues when he is around.
YIC
1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.
Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 29
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Proving Darwin wrong every day!
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Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! -
10-24-2015, 09:18 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr Laurence Niles
Powerful testimony, young man. Would you dare to care to share the most effective method you found most effective in effectively reducing the sticky issue of your ritual self rape to zero?
I have a young, eager young clean limbed young nephew, you see.
'Mming' is always an issues when he is around.
YIC
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When I would get the urge to fap out a good old fashioned, < Oops, disgusting visual deleted>. It was a punishable reminder of what happens to God hating sex fiends.
Creationist college student in training.
http:/freehovind.com/index
Free Brother Hovind!
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 44
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Los Angeles (City of Angels, thank you Jesus)
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Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! -
10-24-2015, 04:01 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Youth Minister Harry
Hi there li'l fella! I see by the words you use and the way you use them that you are a younger li'l guy, aren't ya? It's OK. I can see that the Lord still has some work to do on you yet! It's a wonderful thing getting older and learning to use the computer! Why don't we plan on having a nice long prayer session together to talk about some other wonderful things you are going to encounter as you grow? I have so much to show you that is sure going to surprise you!
God wants you to know just how much of God's love you can have in you at one time! God loves you. Do you love God? Are you ready to show me how much you love God? I'll have one of the tithing counselor's get in touch with your daddy to make the bus ticket arrangements!
Remember, we are going to do this because we want to plant the seed of faith deep within you! Isaiah 28:24 "Does the farmer plow continually to plant seed?" This one does... This one does....
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Thank you for the reply. While I do not regret cursing BAWl's mother, I do regret doing this out in the open.
I had too much Jesus juice, and I couldn't control my anger at that moment. I am a young adult, and have many things to learn, but I will stand my ground. Did David kill the Goliath because he ran away? NO, he stood his ground and fought the bully. Even though the Goliath was twice the size of David, it just took the teen a single rock and Gods passion to knock him down.
I see myself as David and BAWls as the Goliath, you want to pick on somebody small? No problem, the rock of Christ will get to your head.
Please accept me apologizes, will better myself.
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
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Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! -
10-24-2015, 04:08 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by CreationistRoger
When I would get the urge to fap out a good old fashioned,< Oops, disgusting visual deleted>. It was a punishable reminder of what happens to God hating sex fiends.
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Guarding his purity against all comers
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,239
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: OzTrailer
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Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! -
10-24-2015, 05:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by YouRaiseMeUp
I see myself as David and BAWls as the Goliath
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Not even close son, and please keep it out of this forum. Remember your place and show some respect. When Jesus makes you a True Christian ™ then you get to dis me. /It's over.
Ecclesiastes 1:18 - For in much wisedome is much griefe: and hee that increaseth knowledge, increaseth sorrow.
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South of the Border outreach program True Christian™
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Posts: 13,156
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
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Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! -
10-25-2015, 05:34 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by YouRaiseMeUp
I see myself as David and BAWls as the Goliath, you want to pick on somebody small? No problem, the rock of Christ will get to your head.
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Dear, your analogy is wrong. This is how it really goes:
Brother BAW is a Godly True Christian™ Man, and you're a pathetic heathen worm that he accidentally squished under his Godly boot.
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Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
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Posts: 14,455
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
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Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! -
10-25-2015, 05:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa
...Brother BAW is a Godly True Christian™ Man, and you're a pathetic heathen worm...
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But, he can get better.
I'm talking about BAW.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 41
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Topeka, Kansas
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Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! -
10-25-2015, 05:50 PM
Amen, Sister.
Keep fighting the good fight against unclean hands and souls.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 41
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Topeka, Kansas
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Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! -
10-25-2015, 06:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by CreationistRoger
Proud to say that after 7 years of cleanliness, I'm an official member of the anti-masturbation club.
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Blessed be those who rise above the temptations of the flesh.
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