[Pastor Ezekiel]

THIS Pastor has been loudly echoing what I have been saying for years from my True Christian™ Pulpit: The Girl Scouts propagate lezbeans!

Right-wing pastor wants you to stop buying lesbian Girl Scout cookies

Pastor and right-wing activist Kevin Swanson urged his radio show listeners to refrain from purchasing Girl Scout cookies because the organization promotes “lesbianism.”

“Please, I beg of you, stop buying Girl Scout cookies,” Swanson said during his Monday radio broadcast.

“I’d say you ought to say no to the Girl Scout cookies,” Swanson told listeners. “I don’t want to support lesbianism, I don’t want to support Planned Parenthood and I don’t want to support abortion, and if that be the case I’m not buying Girl Scout cookies.”

Swanson also called the Girl Scouts of the USA ”a wicked organization,” that doesn’t promote “godly womanhood.”

“The vision of the girl scouts of America is antithetical to a biblical vision for womanhood,” he said. “It’s antithetical to it.”

The Girl Scouts’ website states that the organization “does not have a relationship or partnership with Planned Parenthood,” and that it will remain a “secular organization” that will not take a position on human sexuality, birth control, abortion.

Swanson later added in his radio broadcast that the Girl Scouts organization is creating a generation of independent women who support a “communist in the White House” and promote the “gay and lesbian agenda.”

His Generations Radio co-host, Pastor Dave Buehner, also said Monday that “where you spend your money does count” with Christianity and God’s teachings.

Swanson said that if listeners continue to buy Girl Scout cookies, they should “take a big, fat, black magic marker” and “start marking out all of the references to the Girl Scouts of America on all the boxes.”

[Alvin Moss]

Are we familiar with this Pastor's credentials?

This seems chancey. Would that include the chocolate iced ones with the toasted coconut?

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Any "organization" that is made up of females cannot possibly adhere to Christian virtues. Women have been whoring themselves for Satan every chance they get since the garden of Eden, and will not stop even once they awaken to their eternal torment. If it weren't for Christian fathers and husbands, every woman would be laying down for dogs and equines, raping each other into lesbian slavery, running down pedestrians, divining by runes floating in pools of menstrual blood, and stretching their rectums with the bones of their own children.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

I wouldn't be surprised to learn that those cookies were laced with something untoward. There has to be a reason for the rise of lezbeans over the past half century. One of their licensed bakers is Keebler - the company with little elves.

As to just what the Girl Scouts are up to, this will make you sick. Cooking is a "legacy" merit, and not one mention of Jesus anywhere.

[Sister Saffie]

Originally Posted by WilliamJenningsBryan

I wouldn't be surprised to learn that those cookies were laced with something untoward. There has to be a reason for the rise of lezbeans over the past half century. One of their licensed bakers is Keebler - the company with little elves.

As to just what the Girl Scouts are up to, this will make you sick. Cooking is a "legacy" merit, and not one mention of Jesus anywhere.

Before my family was born again and redeemed by the blood of Christ I was allowed to participate in Girl Scouts. It all seems so innocent at the time but looking back some of the "rituals" we performed at meetings were simply indoctoration into Communism and feminism. My first clue was the meetings were held in a METHODIST church!! And yes, I do believe those cookies are laced with something evil like crack or other addictive drugs. Especially the thin mints, those seem to be the ones that people buy 40 boxes of at a time.

[Wandering Minstrel]

Evil is hiding here always in plain sight
"Elven Magic" and "Brownies"?
Now, that stuff just ain't right

A feminist organization with no men allowed?!
That's like a bright, flashing neon sign
stating We're gay and We're proud!!

But are the dangers of these confections merely an illusion?
Read the list of cookie names and there will be no need of confusion:
Mango Crèmes with NutriFusion?™Would you eat that at a luncheon?
Thank U Berry Munch and Savannah Smiles?
Now, what exactly were they munchin'?

Would you eat a Tagalong or a Do-Si-Do?
A Trefoils or a Samoa? I for one, don't know.
Those names all sound dirty and they're probably foreign too
I've heard of a Dulce de Leche before
and it's not something you should do.

What should you say when the sluts are at your door?
I'll give you just one clue
Shout "Get thee away you sinful whore!!"
and it works on Jehovah's Witnesses too...

[Cranky Old Man]

In my experience bear traps are an excellent way to keep girl scouts and other unwanted visitors away. Now that I think about it, I don't think we even have girl scouts in Freehold.

[Vavoline Johnson]

Originally Posted by WilliamJenningsBryan

I wouldn't be surprised to learn that those cookies were laced with something untoward. There has to be a reason for the rise of lezbeans over the past half century. One of their licensed bakers is Keebler - the company with little elves.
snip

You know, I was jist tellin Miz Pearl Mae about the same thing bout them cookies.
They been given Cleevon a lot of gas and them ones wif da coconuts gave him a bout of diarrhea so bad he near pooped his pants in church last week.

Them things made by da debil his-self!

[Mistress Cookie]

Originally Posted by WilliamJenningsBryan

I wouldn't be surprised to learn that those cookies were laced with something untoward. There has to be a reason for the rise of lezbeans over the past half century.

Though the "organization"s practically erased it from their Inter Webs, the girlscouts original text on the Tagalong Cookie was:

I just LOVE water sports! Our teachers are complete pros! Jamila and I actually synchronized our strokes! We did the whole length of the pool on our backs!

I'll leave it to others here to explain just how wrong all that is.

Even the magazine journalist Conan O'Brian has exposed their slick, widespread agenda: