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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™
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Posts: 18,554
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
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Re: Mother Glendora's Sexual Purity Pledge Place! -
05-28-2007, 06:02 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy
Actually, there's an adult toy store on I-10 that sells them.
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Now that is utter nonsense. No one could possibly were one of those for fun.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
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Sad young man seduced into witchcraft. Aka as Daniel, etc.
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Posts: 51
Join Date: May 2007
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Re: Mother Glendora's Sexual Purity Pledge Place! -
05-29-2007, 01:07 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Glendora Christianson
I am so encouraged by your pledge. I know you have some serious spiritual challenges, but there is potential for salvation. As one of only two Pure as Snow Virgins, you may need some extra help from our all-knowing Lord who has provided us with the help we need.
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Thank you Glendora. Alas, while in a fit of demonic insanity soon after the "Undecided Incident" I disposed of all such Godly restraints. However, when I checked in with my spiritual probation officer at the local Baptist church on Sunday, I told him of my *ahem* problems, and he agreed to purchase "the help I need" for me. I am proud to say that I am currently wearing it and my spiritual probation officer is holding the key.
Also, Jesus had enough mercy on me to allow an entire 5 words of an email to slip past the Holy Spirit embued filters of Mrs. Betty Bowers email server. It was a desperate plea for help. "demon...remove...my house...help" A representative of her ministry returned my email and we began corresponding. Unfortunately, I don't know how much of my message made it through the filters. Enough I suppose, because there is a Betty Bowers Ministries cleanup crew at my apartment right now removing demons from everything from the toaster to the armchair, and removing anything that is not pleasing in the sight of the Lord (or Mrs. Bowers) including a totally redone interior design courtesy of Marge Davis Interiors. Of course, Mrs. Bowers is far too busy too be there in person. That's okay, I understand.
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Sad young man seduced into witchcraft. Aka as Daniel, etc.
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Posts: 51
Join Date: May 2007
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Re: Mother Glendora's Sexual Purity Pledge Place! -
05-29-2007, 01:48 PM
Can I get my name changed? Seeing as I'm coming around, "Aethereal" seems too...ghostly. I need a more True Christian™ user name. How about my real name... *drum roll* "Dillard H. Jones" This is the name on my birth certificate, etc. I was wary of using it here because I didn't want people I knew to find this place and know it was me. But this is a full time commitment now. I'm finished being a "mamby-pamby, sissy Christian" as Pastor Deacon Fred says. I'm ready to kick some demon backside! Praise!
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Mother Glendora's Sexual Purity Pledge Place! -
05-29-2007, 01:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aethereal
Can I get my name changed? Seeing as I'm coming around, "Aethereal" seems too...ghostly. I need a more True Christian™ user name. How about my real name... *drum roll* "Dillard H. Jones" This is the name on my birth certificate, etc. I was wary of using it here because I didn't want people I knew to find this place and know it was me. But this is a full time commitment now. I'm finished being a "mamby-pamby, sissy Christian" as Pastor Deacon Fred says. I'm ready to kick some demon backside! Praise!
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Did your witch dominatrix girlfriend give you permission Danny?
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Sad young man seduced into witchcraft. Aka as Daniel, etc.
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Posts: 51
Join Date: May 2007
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Re: Mother Glendora's Sexual Purity Pledge Place! -
05-29-2007, 02:14 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Did your witch dominatrix girlfriend give you permission Danny?
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Oh, for God's sake. Not this again. Look, I escaped when I had the chance. I even tried to set the cabin we shared in the forest on fire before I left, but unfortunately I was unsuccessful. (Nothing better than a burning witch). I'm finished with her. I escaped back to my home town and got into spiritual therapy at the local Baptist church. I'm working on my status as a True Christian again and I feel I'm making progress. Witch? Yes. Dominatrix? Yes. Girlfriend? No. I'd burn her in a heartbeat given the chance.
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™
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Posts: 18,554
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
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Re: Mother Glendora's Sexual Purity Pledge Place! -
05-29-2007, 10:52 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aethereal
Oh, for God's sake. Not this again. Look, I escaped when I had the chance. I even tried to set the cabin we shared in the forest on fire before I left, but unfortunately I was unsuccessful. (Nothing better than a burning witch). I'm finished with her. I escaped back to my home town and got into spiritual therapy at the local Baptist church. I'm working on my status as a True Christian again and I feel I'm making progress. Witch? Yes. Dominatrix? Yes. Girlfriend? No. I'd burn her in a heartbeat given the chance.
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Prove it Danny to Jesus. Get back there and let the light of Jesus shine upon the she-harlot. Remember every night she walks the earth is another night a little baby gets eaten. My bet is if you ever meet Allie again you'd be on your knees tongue polishing her moose droppings covered stiletto boot heels within ten minutes.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
Hot Must ReadThreads!
Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
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Sad young man seduced into witchcraft. Aka as Daniel, etc.
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Posts: 51
Join Date: May 2007
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Re: Mother Glendora's Sexual Purity Pledge Place! -
05-30-2007, 12:37 PM
I am currently living in a rented apartment behind the local Baptist church. It is a kind of "rehab" unit for people like me. I checked with my spiritual probation officer to see if I could go out of town to complete *ahem* the task at hand. He said that I was making progress and had good intentions but I was still spiritually unstable and didn't need that kind of influence. He wouldn't let me leave. It took several guards with tazers to convince me to stay, but here I am. Seeing my determination, they immediately assembled a witch-hunting death squad and are on the way to her cabin now. I hope they make it back. I hope she doesn't.
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™
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Posts: 18,554
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
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Re: Mother Glendora's Sexual Purity Pledge Place! -
05-30-2007, 03:38 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aethereal
I am currently living in a rented apartment behind the local Baptist church. It is a kind of "rehab" unit for people like me. I checked with my spiritual probation officer to see if I could go out of town to complete *ahem* the task at hand. He said that I was making progress and had good intentions but I was still spiritually unstable and didn't need that kind of influence. He wouldn't let me leave. It took several guards with tazers to convince me to stay, but here I am. Seeing my determination, they immediately assembled a witch-hunting death squad and are on the way to her cabin now. I hope they make it back. I hope she doesn't.
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You, see even your pastor agrees; you are still under her spell.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
Hot Must ReadThreads!
Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
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Sad young man seduced into witchcraft. Aka as Daniel, etc.
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Posts: 51
Join Date: May 2007
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Re: Mother Glendora's Sexual Purity Pledge Place! -
05-30-2007, 04:17 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe
You, see even your pastor agrees; you are still under her spell.
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My spiritual probation officer told me to stay because he didn't want me near the influence of that witch! I assure you I have been fully restored to a state of sinlessness, go weekly to get my Jesus enema, and have been demon free for more than a week. I really am trying. Please save your judgement for someone else and try to support me.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Mother Glendora's Sexual Purity Pledge Place! -
05-31-2007, 12:35 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aethereal
My spiritual probation officer told me to stay because he didn't want me near the influence of that witch! I assure you I have been fully restored to a state of sinlessness, go weekly to get my Jesus enema, and have been demon free for more than a week. I really am trying. Please save your judgement for someone else and try to support me.
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We are still awaiting your Tithe Danny. Show Jesus how sorry you are by clicking on that Paypal button.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Sad young man seduced into witchcraft. Aka as Daniel, etc.
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Posts: 51
Join Date: May 2007
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Re: Mother Glendora's Sexual Purity Pledge Place! -
05-31-2007, 12:34 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
We are still awaiting your Tithe Danny. Show Jesus how sorry you are by clicking on that Paypal button.
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I already said, the therapist took all my money and set it aside in a frozen bank account until I show some more progress. I'll try to get 10% from them but I can't guarantee anything. I don't want to press my luck, but a status change may impress my therapist and show them that I'm making progress. But, all in due time. 1 Thessalonians 5:14: "Now we exhort you, brethren, warn them that are unruly, comfort the feebleminded, support the weak, be patient toward all men."
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Mother Glendora's Sexual Purity Pledge Place! -
05-31-2007, 01:36 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aethereal
I already said, the therapist took all my money and set it aside in a frozen bank account until I show some more progress. I'll try to get 10% from them but I can't guarantee anything. I don't want to press my luck, but a status change may impress my therapist and show them that I'm making progress. But, all in due time. 1 Thessalonians 5:14: "Now we exhort you, brethren, warn them that are unruly, comfort the feebleminded, support the weak, be patient toward all men."
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Danny, you are weak. That is precisely why you need to send in a healthy love offering to Jesus as quickly as possible. We are being very patient with you son, but Jesus could kill you at any moment, and you are still quoting from a false Bible, and the DOF says you are passing notes to your witch dominatrix harlot gf, so you need to act now. Just to be safe, send your love offering in before midnight tonight.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 212
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Canada.
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Re: Mother Glendora's Sexual Purity Pledge Place! -
01-25-2008, 02:36 AM
Uh-oh. I'm not sure if I should pick white as snow, or only with marriage. certainly, I want to have Godly Warriors for children, but in Canada...
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True Christian™ Princess The Driving Force behind RA12 Have at it, anytime!
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Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
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Re: Mother Glendora's Sexual Purity Pledge Place! -
01-25-2008, 04:11 PM
What, Danny hasn't Tithed YET? I am getting unGodly Sick & Tired of waiting around here for him to do so!
It's only your IMMORTAL SOUL, Danny, you ever think of that?
Oh well. Long as I'm here, I Pledge Aeternal Virginity for Miss Petal
After all, "It is more Blessed to give rather than to receive"
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Spiritual Mother of LBC
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,341
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, IA
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Re: Mother Glendora's Sexual Purity Pledge Place! -
05-03-2008, 01:11 AM
Just wanted to let everyone know: Due to something Elmer said at the mall today, I will be joining the Born Again Virgins for at least three weeks!
Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
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Re: Mother Glendora's Sexual Purity Pledge Place! -
05-03-2008, 03:55 PM
Uh oh, did you ask him how you looked in capri's again?
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Spiritual Mother of LBC
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,341
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, IA
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Re: Mother Glendora's Sexual Purity Pledge Place! -
05-03-2008, 04:55 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde
Uh oh, did you ask him how you looked in capri's again?
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Word gets around sister. And then he bought a brand new 30.06 and wouldn't take me to Chick-fil-a!
Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.
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Unsaved trash
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Posts: 53
Join Date: May 2008
Location: giggling like a girl
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Re: Mother Glendora's Sexual Purity Pledge Place! -
05-04-2008, 09:42 PM
Because SUV LOVES to give please more than recieve it.
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
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Re: Mother Glendora's Sexual Purity Pledge Place! -
05-04-2008, 09:47 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by FrenchCatholicWoman
Because SUV LOVES to give please more than recieve it.
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You know, for a supposed FrenchCatholicWoman, you're starting to sound a lot like that nip Hitoshima.
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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True Christian™ Princess The Driving Force behind RA12 Have at it, anytime!
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Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
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Re: Mother Glendora's Sexual Purity Pledge Place! -
05-04-2008, 10:50 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by FrenchCatholicWoman
Because SUV LOVES to give please more than recieve it.
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Now what the heckie-poo does that mean? I wasn't even 'here' actually, I was talking about Sister Petal!
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