Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow. |
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Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
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Posts: 6,639
Join Date: Jun 2007
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Re: Where is that little brat?!! -
08-26-2007, 11:26 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Father Thomas Martin
No, I just think she'll come back to you if you learn to be a better dad.
She really loves that raccoon...Probably therapy for her to get away from your abusive tactics.
But she still loves you...Just promise to treat her better, and she'll most likely come back!
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See how Catholics mess with people's minds when they are at their most vulnerable? This is how they brainwash people. That and the blackmail material they get during "confession".
I've only had few hours of sleep this weekend, I've been so anxious I haven't even eaten, I'm in what a psychologist would call a "suggestable state" and what's the first thing that pops into the Catholic's mind? "Time to move in for the kill".
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Ex-hero, almost honorably discharged
True Christian™
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Posts: 717
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Somebody's couch
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Re: Where is that little brat?!! -
08-27-2007, 03:15 AM
One of my buddies with the Ceasar Institute suggested a brilliant way to solve the (minor) problem of kidnapping in Iraq: first, you inject every kid with a microchip that broadcasts their GPS location. When one goes missing, just drop a 2000 pound JDAM with the microchip guiding it in. With the kidnappers now reduced to kibbles n bits, parents everywhere can breathe a sigh of relief.
Well, I don't see why Iraqis should get special goodies that Americans don't, so I say this idea should also be used stateside.
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Christ's Cōnsiliārius
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Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Re: Where is that little brat?!! -
08-27-2007, 05:11 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trent Harvey, Jr.
One of my buddies with the Ceasar Institute suggested a brilliant way to solve the (minor) problem of kidnapping in Iraq: first, you inject every kid with a microchip that broadcasts their GPS location. When one goes missing, just drop a 2000 pound JDAM with the microchip guiding it in. With the kidnappers now reduced to kibbles n bits, parents everywhere can breathe a sigh of relief.
Well, I don't see why Iraqis should get special goodies that Americans don't, so I say this idea should also be used stateside.
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The problem is that all the JDAMS are out of country, but we ought to be able to get a Spooky in the air pretty fast when an Amber Alert goes out. We at Landover have been advocating personal tracking device implants for years.
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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God Squad
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,322
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: rebuking eurotrash commies
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Re: Where is that little brat?!! -
08-27-2007, 08:04 AM
I hope a bear doesn't eat her. I hate to see children burn in Hell before they are old enough to be saved.
Psalms 58
3": The wicked are estranged from the womb: they go astray as soon as they be born, speaking lies.
Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
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Thank you Pastor Pistle!
Forum Member
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Posts: 969
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: bible belt land
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Re: Where is that little brat?!! -
08-28-2007, 03:04 AM
Quote:
We at Landover have been advocating personal tracking device implants for years.
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So is this kinda leading up to that 666 thingy?
Please try again in 28 seconds.
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Hellbound atheist - avoid contact
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Posts: 53
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Re: Where is that little brat?!! -
08-28-2007, 04:26 AM
Mr. Thurman,
Is there any news? Is she still missing? I hope she's OK.
--Joe
Have you heard the Good News? There are no gods, there is no hell, and the only sin is being mean to other people.
There are no ghosts, pixies, hobgoblins, angels, leprechauns, gods, goddesses, demons, minotaurs, devils, witches, warlocks, dragons, or spirits.
Prayer, magic spells, and doing nothing accomplish exactly the same thing.
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Christ's Cōnsiliārius
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Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Re: Where is that little brat?!! -
08-28-2007, 07:14 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Seeker
So is this kinda leading up to that 666 thingy?
Please try again in 28 seconds.
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That's the Catholics. 666, a sip of kool aid and welcome to hell, butt-bunny. I tell ya, Landover is THE WAY^.
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
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Posts: 6,639
Join Date: Jun 2007
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Re: Where is that little brat?!! -
08-28-2007, 09:49 AM
Bexz, if you're looking for your attempt to get "accepted" by disrupting this very important search for my daughter, I've moved your stuff here.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe the Atheist
Mr. Thurman,
Is there any news? Is she still missing? I hope she's OK.
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If God won't listen to the prayers of a Christian, why would He listen to the hopes of an atheist?
Bobby-Joe, you've dealt with illegal mexicans, how long can a child last without food? I've been praying for God to drop some manna, or loaves and fishes or something for her, but I don't know if Jesus will listen to someone who is have as severe a crisis of faith as I am.
Please, for the sake of my daughter, someone please restore my faith.
Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
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Did I use a new word you've never heard? Definitions here. | Vote! Everything you need to vote here!
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Deaconess Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,215
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: God's Own America
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Re: Where is that little brat?!! -
08-28-2007, 05:27 PM
Jeb, there's an awful smell coming from that old Negra hovel behind the Freehold True Christian™ Bookstall.
Have you checked it out? Could just be a dead Negra though.
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Re: Where is that little brat?!! -
08-29-2007, 06:15 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Thurmond
I can't believe it, my daughter is STILL missing. You look away for a moment and the little brats just run off....If anyone has seen Alice, please tell me where and if she's with you, please give her a spanking on my behalf.
She also answers to the nickname "tickles", it's a long story.
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*muses* She looks like my boyfriend's little sister.
But on a serious note, I'm kinda glad she left... You Landoverites don't treat your children all that well... Are you sure Social Services didn't take her away?
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Where is that little brat?!! -
08-29-2007, 01:30 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Hikari
*muses* She looks like my boyfriend's little sister.
But on a serious note, I'm kinda glad she left... You Landoverites don't treat your children all that well... Are you sure Social Services didn't take her away?
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Well well speak of the devil....Brother Jeb's little girl goes missing and who should turn up but the opium-addled chink Hinkari....
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
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Re: Where is that little brat?!! -
08-29-2007, 03:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Well well speak of the devil....Brother Jeb's little girl goes missing and who should turn up but the opium-addled chink Hinkari....
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It must be Ornamental mating season. If she brings the Catlicker schoolgirl outfit, I'm sure Hitoshi'd be glad to bring the tentacles. Or vice versa.
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Ladies of Landover Senior VP One of the Truest Christians™ Ever Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
True Christian™
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Posts: 12,662
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Location: Standing behind my husband
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Re: Where is that little brat?!! -
08-30-2007, 06:13 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Hikari
*muses* She looks like my boyfriend's little sister.
But on a serious note, I'm kinda glad she left... You Landoverites don't treat your children all that well... Are you sure Social Services didn't take her away?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Hikari
I do hope that you are joking... I bet she just left cause of bible-thumpers like you. Sucks that there's one less sane person on this forum...
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So the nip who is happy that a young child quite possibly walked off into the woods or has been eaten by witches thinks people who think like her are sane? Satan really does have a tight grip on you.
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Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
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Posts: 6,639
Join Date: Jun 2007
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Re: Where is that little brat?!! -
08-30-2007, 09:55 AM
I heard a rumor that somebody found a piece of girl's clothing in the woods. Please, someone confirm if this rumor is true. This is what she was wearing:
Here's a close-up:
She didn't wear the helmet, due to suffocation issues.
Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
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Confirmed Enemy of God
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Posts: 376
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Re: Where is that little brat?!! -
08-31-2007, 03:43 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria
So the nip who is happy that a young child quite possibly walked off into the woods or has been eaten by witches thinks people who think like her are sane? Satan really does have a tight grip on you.
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I doubt she was eaten by witches... I think she is with a nice foster family that will treat her with respect and kindness.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
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Re: Where is that little brat?!! -
08-31-2007, 05:34 AM
After what you said to be, I'm glad she is gone, Hopefully never coming back.
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Ladies of Landover Senior VP One of the Truest Christians™ Ever Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
True Christian™
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Posts: 12,662
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Standing behind my husband
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Re: Where is that little brat?!! -
08-31-2007, 05:44 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Hikari
I doubt she was eaten by witches... I think she is with a nice foster family that will treat her with respect and kindness.
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Yes, because that's what happens to all young girls who disappear without a trace.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 376
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Re: Where is that little brat?!! -
08-31-2007, 05:50 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria
Yes, because that's what happens to all young girls who disappear without a trace.
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Well if she just disappeared, then she may have been kidnapped. But still, I bet she'll show up. A little kid like that couldn't have gotten far on their own. I still believe that she was taken away by social services, though.
Run little girl run!!! Get far away from the crazy Christian's while you still can!!!
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Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
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Posts: 6,639
Join Date: Jun 2007
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Re: Where is that little brat?!! -
08-31-2007, 08:16 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SoccerItalia
After what you said to be, I'm glad she is gone, Hopefully never coming back.
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How typically Catholic: you pray for an innocent child to die and be eaten by wild animals, just because her father is a protestant.
You're on moderation now, and I won't approve any post of yours that does not have biblical citations to back up your statements. Find them here" http://www.biblegateway.com
Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
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Did I use a new word you've never heard? Definitions here. | Vote! Everything you need to vote here!
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Ladies of Landover Senior VP One of the Truest Christians™ Ever Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
True Christian™
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Posts: 12,662
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Standing behind my husband
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Re: Where is that little brat?!! -
08-31-2007, 08:42 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Hikari
Well if she just disappeared, then she may have been kidnapped. But still, I bet she'll show up. A little kid like that couldn't have gotten far on their own. I still believe that she was taken away by social services, though.
Run little girl run!!! Get far away from the crazy Christian's while you still can!!!
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You do realize that Socialist Services, no matter what other flaws they have, don't go secretively snatching children without notifying the parents, right?
So you're retarded and sick, preferring to see young children die in the wilderness instead of being raised in Christ by loving parents. What is wrong with you? What did Satan promise you in exchange for your soul and any sense of decency you may have once had?
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