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Reload this Page Figure out your political orientation with this easy political questionnaire!
Godly Politics Republican, Libertarian, Constitution Party, Christian Restoration Party welcome. No liberals or Demonrats allowed.

View Poll Results: Which answers did you give?
Mixed: I'm a wishy-washy, flip-flopping, lukewarm, indecisive waffler. 6 3.45%
Mostly 1: I'm a True Christian. 146 83.91%
Mostly 2: I'm a conservative republican. 9 5.17%
Mostly 3: I'm a leftist. 3 1.72%
Mostly 4: I'm a liberal. Where are the babies at, I'm hungry/horny! 10 5.75%
Voters: 174. You may not vote on this poll

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Default Figure out your political orientation with this easy political questionnaire! - 02-13-2014, 04:28 AM

Here's a questionnaire to figure out your politics. It's based on work from some anonymous guy who based it on this questionnaire. I would have worded some parts differently, but at least it's short and covers all the main points:

Progress

Does progress exist?

1. OBEY THE ! What God says about: progress.
2. We used to live in abundance and harmony with nature before Adam and Eve ate from the tree of knowledge. It's all been downhill from there.
3. We used to live in abundance and harmony with nature before civilization. Or the industrial revolution. It's all been downhill from there.
4. Progress is real, gratitude is good. Progress consists of trading big problems for small problems.

The enlightenment, industrial revolution, and modernism:

1. OBEY THE ! What God says about: the enlightenment, democracy.
2. We used to live in a noble era of chivalry, order, nobility, and piety before the enlightenment messed it up
3. We used to live in a non-stop party of mead served by rosy-cheeked buxom wenches until the industrial revolution messed it up
4. Elves are not real. To see Middle-Earth in action, visit any non-industrialized dictatorship, Zimbabwe for example.

Modernism:

1. OBEY THE !
2. We need to ditch secularism, democracy, and all the enlightenment. So what if out of thousands of Theocracies and dictatorships in history not one has been any good? That just increases our odds, a losing streak like this can't last forever.
3. We need to ditch the industrial revolution. The Khmer Rouge messed this up, but how about we do best two out of three?
4. Primitivism and nostalgia is nonsense, and even if it was true we can't go back. We should focus on pragmatic improvements to make better future.

Human nature

Can preaching and scolding change human nature?

1. OBEY THE ! What God says about preaching, bullying.
2. We just need more preaching against greedy poor people and laziness. Then everyone will donate to charity and we won't need government.
3. We just need more condemnation of greedy rich people and materialism. Then everyone will donate their work and we won't need capitalism.
4. Human nature includes greed, laziness and other unpleasantness. It is up to use to design SYSTEMS that minimize their harm, or even harness them. Thousands of years of history teach us that preaching and scolding do not change human nature.

Culture

Class War or Culture War?

1. OBEY THE LORD! What God says about the culture war and class warfare.
2. The class warriors distract people from the real issue: the culture war!
3. The culture warriors distracts people from the real issue: the class war!
4. War rhetoric and group identification lobotomizes political discourse. There is no natural division, the only bad guys are a tiny minority of demagogues and rent-seeking proto-aristocrats.

Flags and other symbols:

1. OBEY THE ! What God says about flags and monuments.
2. Symbols are the most important thing, they let us show off our groups in your-face dominance.
3. Symbols are the most important thing, they let us show off our groups in your-face defiance.
4. Symbols are a form of simplification, if overused they turn into nothing more than tribal grunting.

A group of white musicians is playing a style of music previously only preformed by blacks:

1. OBEY THE ! What God thinks about rock and rap music.
2. Shame them! This is an attack on white culture!
3. Shame them! This is theft of black culture!
4. This is an encouraging sign. People are free from cultural constraints. The free interchange of ideas makes us all richer.

Homosexuality:

1. OBEY THE !
2. Grosses me out, therefore must be stopped. THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT ISSUE!
3. Grosses out people I don't like, so let's put it everywhere. The stronger the backlash the more evidence to continue! THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT ISSUE!
4. It involves consenting adults and puts no external costs on society, so what's the big deal? Let's keep expanding civil rights in the least divisive way we can.

Truth and ideas

What is the best way to determine what the truth is?

1. OBEY THE ! God hates critical thinking. The Bible tells us what Truth is.
2. I already know, due to inherent qualities of my nature, character or intelligence. Truth-tellers tend to say nice things about me, agree with what I already believe, and say what I want to hear, by some coincidence.
3. I already know, due to inherent qualities of my nature, character or intelligence. Truth-tellers tend to say nice things about me, agree with what I already believe, and say what I want to hear, by some coincidence.
4. Logical appraisal of the evidence, followed by honest constructive criticism of my conclusions from others who do the same.

Are ideas dangerous?

1. OBEY THE ! What God says about censorship.
2. Yes. People are easily deceived by liberals. A conservative elite should protect the gullible sheeple from brainwashing and propaganda with laws against morality-degrading porn and treason.
3. Yes. People are easily deceived by conservatives. A liberal elite should protect the gullible sheeple from brainwashing and propaganda with laws against woman-degrading porn and hate speech.
4. We should train people critical thinking and scientific literacy, a mixture of openness and skepticism. Then people can pick and chose ideas from anywhere.

Educational focus:

1. OBEY THE LORD! What God says about: schools, university, college, homeschooling, books.
2. The main job of education is preach productivity.
3. The main job of education is preach diversity.
4. The main job of education is teach citizenship, scientific literacy and critical thinking skills. Once you learn how to learn the rest is easy.

Are your political beliefs timeless?

1. OBEY THE ! What the Bible says about wafflers and flip-floppers.
2. Yes, in the beginning was the word, and we do not deviate. Anyone is a commie if they deviate, whatever the circumstances, whether in the past or 10,000 years in the future.
3. Yes, this is why we need to trash historical figures for failing to match today's political fads. Anyone is a fascist if they fail to meet our standards, and use our terminology, whatever the circumstances, whether in the past or 10,000 years in the future.
4. We can learn from people who were ahead of the standards their time, even if they were behind the standards of ours. I expect future generations will face circumstances I can't give advice for, and I trust future generations to be wiser than myself.

Uh oh, reality and my ideology are having an argument!

1. OBEY THE ! Even when He is lying.
2. It's an illusion, I must have been brainwashed by liberal propaganda. Flip-floppers are traitors!
3. It's an illusion, I must have been brainwashed by conservative propaganda. Sellouts are traitors!
4. Oh neat, another theory overturned. I wonder if someone is going to get Nobel Prize for this.

Is there even such a thing as "truth"?

1. OBEY THE !
2. No, we create our own reality.
3. No, everything is relative.
4. Yes, and progressing science brings us ever closer to it.

Tactics and political process

Pragmatism or scorched-earth total war?

1. OBEY THE ! GOP says "be like the Taliban"
2. Focus on destroying the liberals, our children can rebuild from the ashes.
3. Focus on destroying the conservatives, our children can rebuild from the ashes. Well, immigrant children anyway, since we don't breed.
4. Concentrate on achieving pragmatic solutions, trading bigger problems for smaller ones.

Another political faction is willing to compromise and/or trade, giving you something important, in return for getting something symbolic:

1. OBEY THE !
2. Compromise is treason! Don't fall for the charm offensive! SYMBOLS ARE EVERYTHING!
3. Compromise is selling out! SYMBOLS ARE EVERYTHING!
4. If they're negotiating in good faith, why not? Heck, I should have offered symbols from the start, splitting people off from their coalition, and growing my own.

Someone is willing to leave a rival political faction and join yours:

1. OBEY THE ! What God says about R.I.N.O.s.
2. They are tainted! They will infect the faithful! Liberals are damaged goods forever!
3. They are tainted! They will infect the faithful! Conservatives are damaged goods forever!
4. Okay, but as a test of good faith they have to teach us how they do BBQ so well.

Nationalism and internationalism

My Country, right or wrong?

1. OBEY THE LORD! What God says about treason, America.
2. My country is always right! Criticism is treason!
3. My country is always wrong! Patriotism is fascism!
4. Constructive criticism is what separates us from the hellholes that make us so grateful to be Americans.

Can we learn from other nations?

1. OBEY THE ! Let's emulate ancient Israel. What God says about: Foreign countries.
2. All our economic freedom rankings put Scandinavian nations around the top. Let's emulate Somalia and Iran.
3. All our quality of life rankings put Scandinavian nations around the top. Let's emulate China during the cultural revolution.
4. As long as it doesn't involve having to listen to techno, let's learn from Scandinavia and Western Europe.

Globalization:

1. OBEY THE ! What God says about: nwo, zog, United Nations, conspiracies
2. Is bad because it grows international government.
3. Is bad because it grows international corporations.
4. Good, if well-regulated.

Protectionism:

1. OBEY THE LORD!
2. Always bad.
3. Always good.
4. Okay in poor nations. A reverse-mercantalist policy is as powerful as the best foreign aid.

Economics and organization

Size of organizations

1. OBEY THE ! What God says about: big government, corporations.
2. Big government is bad. Federal governments are worse than state governments.
3. Big corporations are bad. Corporations are worse than Mom and Pop shops.
4. We need a mix. Small organizations are good at innovation and responsiveness, but size matters because there some things only big organizations can do.

Monopolies:

1. OBEY THE LORD!
2. Monopolies are okay, as long as they are privately owned.
3. Monopolies are okay, as long as they are government owned.
4. Governments should promote competition, for example with anti-trust laws. Where competition is unfeasible ("natural monopolies"), government should run things, until technology makes competition feasible.

Technology

Better living through chemistry:

1. OBEY THE LORD! What God says about: drugs, cannabis, regulations.
2. Ban drugs, but don't regulate food, water or pollution. Unknown chemicals from a corporation can't affect you, but cannabis will turn you into a psycho killer.
3. Buy drugs, but boycott icky industrial food and western medicine. If doesn't look like something a Chinese quack took from an endangered species, I don't trust it. Unless it's street drugs from a criminal, then it's fine.
4. Legalize some drugs, but regulate their purity, along with food, water, and air. The only problem with the food and pharma industries is corporate unaccountability and the resulting loss of public trust.

Genetic Modification:

1. OBEY THE LORD!
2. Eww icky, unnatural, stop playing God.
3. Eww icky, unnatural, stop playing Gaia.
4. Good, as long as it's well-regulated.

Vaccines:

1. OBEY THE LORD! What God says about: vaccines.
2. Bad! They turn our sons into autistic nerds and our daughters into sluts.
3. Bad! They turn our kids into autistic nerds.
4. You guys are idiots. Vaccines work.

Score:

If you answered:

Mostly 1: You are a True Christian!
Mostly 2: You are a conservative republican. A good start, but you should trust the Bible, which is of the rather than following ideology, which is of man.
Mostly 3: You are a leftist. Time to put down Trotsky, pick up Plato, and call yourself a NeoConservative.
Mostly 4: You are a Liberal and you are damaged goods forever. Get your infectious butt out of here and get ready to BURN IN HELL BABYKILLER!


Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
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Last edited by Jeb Stuart Thurmond; 01-26-2019 at 05:11 PM.
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Default Re: Figure out your political orientation with this easy political questionnaire! - 02-13-2014, 06:35 AM

Well, that was easy
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Default Re: Figure out your political orientation with this easy political questionnaire! - 02-17-2014, 05:23 PM

Mostly Christian, only one 3 and three 2s
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Default Re: Figure out your political orientation with this easy political questionnaire! - 02-17-2014, 05:27 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nicholas Smith View Post
Mostly Christian, only one 3 and three 2s
And that's good enough to get you sent to (envelope, please...):

HELL, with the rest of us.

James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."


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Default Re: Figure out your political orientation with this easy political questionnaire! - 02-17-2014, 10:59 PM

Too complicated. After dealing with all the hanging chads I ended up with:

Mostly 5: Pat Buchanan.



#forevertrump: Supporter of The Donald as president-for-life! #MAGAlomaniac!
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Default Re: Figure out your political orientation with this easy political questionnaire! - 03-01-2014, 12:05 PM

Well, I don't want to give myself the title of "True Christian", I haven't proven that I deserve it yet. But I do obey the Lord, and that is all the credit I will give to myself.


Leviticus 18:22 Romans 1:24-27 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 1 Timothy 1:9 - 1:10 1 Timothy 1:9 - 1:10 Jude 1:7

Here is proof that homosexuality is indeed a sin, for all those out there saying otherwise. Got a problem with it? Romans 9:20
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Default Re: Figure out your political orientation with this easy political questionnaire! - 05-15-2015, 03:03 AM

Hey Faggots,
My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid foul language pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any foul language? I mean, I guess it’s fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than foul language to pictures on facebook.
Don’t be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I’m pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than “foul language to naked drawn Japanese people”? I also get straight A’s, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just foul language me; foul language was SO cash). You are all foul language who should just kill yourselves.
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Default Re: Figure out your political orientation with this easy political questionnaire! - 05-15-2015, 03:08 AM

You seem angry, John.


God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
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Default Re: Figure out your political orientation with this easy political questionnaire! - 05-15-2015, 08:37 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Xx420Illuminati666xX View Post
Hey Faggots,
My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. [...]

Hello John,

You seem to be somewhat on track to being a Christian. Luke 14:26 says you should hate, perhaps not exactly to hate every single one of us but it is a start. I don´t mind it if you hate me, just don´t expect me to make any pasta for you. Anyway, good luck on your path to become a Christian!

Kind regards,

Roland


Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.

Best wishes for the people in Ukraine.
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Default Re: Figure out your political orientation with this easy political questionnaire! - 06-19-2015, 10:54 PM

When I read posts like this- especially when they are stickied at the top of the forum I know that this poster and whomever stickied it is not sane. Here is why. An adult does not insult everyone that does not believe the same thing they do. Only a fool would do that. Only a fool would post so much hate on a religious forum. Religion is supposed to be about wisdom and healing and love. The people on here are just angry and sad. If you are doing comedy, then post that on a comedy forum. If you are trying to spread the word of god, then maybe you need to take a good look at yourself. I am disappointed to say the least.
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Default Re: Figure out your political orientation with this easy political questionnaire! - 06-19-2015, 11:24 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MarywasRaped View Post
...Religion is supposed to be about wisdom and healing and love...
Hi. Why haven't you read the Bible yet?


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Default Re: Figure out your political orientation with this easy political questionnaire! - 06-20-2015, 03:04 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MarywasRaped View Post
When I read posts like this- especially when they are stickied at the top of the forum I know that this poster and whomever stickied it is not sane. Here is why. An adult does not insult everyone that does not believe the same thing they do. Only a fool would do that. Only a fool would post so much hate on a religious forum. Religion is supposed to be about wisdom and healing and love. The people on here are just angry and sad. If you are doing comedy, then post that on a comedy forum. If you are trying to spread the word of god, then maybe you need to take a good look at yourself. I am disappointed to say the least.

I am familiar with your tribe. You can be identified by the smell of patchouli oil. You people believe in the Shadow People and the Lizard People, but you do not believe in God. You worship Al Gore and the failed priest Jerry Brown, but you ignore Jesus. You grow marijuana and you smoke it and you don't pay the income tax. You think you are an intellectual and a deep thinker, but you know not the Word of God. You have a Volvo and writhe to the strange music of the Grateful Dead. We know your sly tricks and so does the Lord. You will be another log burning in the fires of Hell.


God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
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Default Re: Figure out your political orientation with this easy political questionnaire! - 06-21-2015, 10:32 PM

I'm so glad my answers were that of a True Christian!



Praise Jesus! For He alone saves
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Default Re: Figure out your political orientation with this easy political questionnaire! - 02-01-2017, 06:21 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by bubbascal View Post
Mostly 4. There was at least a few question I lack knowledge of though. But I am not a liberal. I resemble a egalitarian and a moderate more.

Lack of knowledge is usually an indication of either liberalism or retardation, or both. You do seem a lot like the typical Democrat; rude, ignorant, opinionated (with other people's opinions), possibly violent, etc. I believe you deserve a decoration.


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Default Re: Figure out your political orientation with this easy political questionnaire! - 02-01-2017, 08:19 PM

I can not confirm I am any of these ideologies because for all of them are capitalists, and I am a socialist.

True Christianity, like most religions, is controlled by capitalists.


Conservatives, I think we all know that is capitalist.


Liberals, they are just the same as conservatives, in fact, Conservatism is a branch of Liberalism. Don't believe me? Tell me one Liberal politician who does not support capitalism, fracking, war, pollution, police brutality and the war on drugs. Exactly. You can't.


Leftists? The political spectrum has moved so far to the right, that was is now the Left, would be more accurately known as Centre-right.


Where are the communists? Where are the socialists?


I am dismissed.


It is only under communism and socialism that true human right such as this will provide:



"When thou goest out to battle against thine enemies, and seest horses, and chariots, and a people more than thou, be not afraid of them: for the LORD thy God is with thee, which brought thee up out of the land of Egypt." - Deuteronomy 20:1

I like this one. If change "the LORD thy God" to the spirit of Juche and "the land of Egypt" to Japanese imperialism, then it can be used to metaphor Korea's struggle against the Western powers.
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Default Re: Figure out your political orientation with this easy political questionnaire! - 08-15-2017, 03:09 PM

Here is the Catholic view of the political spectrum:



The only part I don't get is "Gluttony". Can someone explain that, or suggest an alternative sin?


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Default Re: Figure out your political orientation with this easy political questionnaire! - 08-20-2017, 03:24 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Stuart Thurmond View Post
The only part I don't get is "Gluttony". Can someone explain that, or suggest an alternative sin?
Maybe it has something to do with the idiotic "gluten-free" fad among the organic-vegan-non GMO crowds?
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Default Re: Figure out your political orientation with this easy political questionnaire! - 02-18-2018, 05:46 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa View Post
Maybe it has something to do with the idiotic "gluten-free" fad among the organic-vegan-non GMO crowds?
It must be the "fat acceptance" movement. Look, it shows up in this one also:



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