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Default Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!! - 03-11-2012, 11:22 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Roberta View Post
Queuing up...
That woman has a beard!

YIC


1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Default Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!! - 03-11-2012, 11:49 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Larni69 View Post
That woman has a beard!...
But the SpongeBob tattoo pulls the whole look together, don't you think?


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Default Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!! - 03-11-2012, 11:58 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Larni69 View Post
That woman has a beard!

YIC
Sans beard
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Come climb my mountains.
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Default Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!! - 03-12-2012, 12:24 AM

It looks like the poor beast decided to just DIE and get it over with
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Default Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!! - 03-12-2012, 11:27 PM

I don't know how many of you recall this buffoon, Sherwood Rowland, single-handedly ruined the aerosol industry (of which I was a major shareholder) and caused countless people to worry about their refrigerators but he was the man who was more concerned than any other in the whole of Christendom about sunburned penguins and least concerned about applying his brains to Salvation.

Anyway, you will now realize that nothing has happened and that ludicrous stories about "Holes in Ozone" (whatever Ozone is, because I've not met anyone who has the slightest idea, let alone seen one! )
Quote:
The death has been announced of Sherwood Rowland - the US chemistry professor who first suspected that the Earth's protective ozone layer was being depleted by man-made chemicals.

Prof Rowland published a paper on the dangers of the then-popular chlorofluorocarbons - CFCs - in 1974. His ideas were derided at the time by other scientists and especially the chemical industry. Edit EB: and me[/b]

But 20 years later, Sherwood Rowland won a Nobel Prize for his work. Edit EB: This is the same Nobel Prize that Yassher Arafat won.

The University of California at Irvine (UCI) researcher - who was known as Sherry - Edit EB: a drinking habit no doubt[/b] shared the award with Mario Molina of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology and Paul Crutzen of the Max Planck Institute for Chemistry in Mainz, Germany. Edit EB: foreigners[/b]

"We have lost our finest friend and mentor," said UCI physical sciences dean Kenneth Janda. Edit EB: 'finest friend and mentor' is code for, "A meal ticket"

"He saved the world from a major catastrophe; never wavering in his commitment to science, truth and humanity, and did so with integrity and grace."

Rowland's and colleagues' calculations had led in the late 1970s to some restrictions being placed on CFCs, which were then widely used as refrigerants, propellants in spray cans, solvents, and blowing agents to make foams.

However, it was not until 1985 and the discovery that the chemicals were initiating a severe depletion, or "hole", in the ozone layer over Antarctica that impetus was given to a treaty to ban chlorofluorocarbons - the so-called Montreal Protocol. Edit EB: You might have known the Canadians would be in on this!.

Ozone is a molecule that is composed of three oxygen atoms. It is responsible for filtering out harmful ultraviolet radiation (less than 290 nanometres wavelength) from the Sun.
Where he is now, he will have no worries about Ozone (sic) – more like Brimstone - and will be wishing he were in Antarctica.

Listening to Scientists is the freeway to Damnation





“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

Author of such illuminating essays as,
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
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Default Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!! - 03-13-2012, 02:38 AM

The joss are all wailing over THIS smartaleck comedian being killed by Jesus and sent to hell. I hope satan likes these jokes.

Quote:
Peter Bergman, Satirist With the Firesign Theater, Dies at 72

Peter Bergman, a founding member of the surrealist comedy troupe Firesign Theater, whose albums became cult favorites among college students in the late 1960s and ’70s for a brand of sly, multilayered satire so dense it seemed riddled with non sequiturs until the second, third or 30th listening, died on Friday in Santa Monica, Calif. He was 72.

The cause was complications of leukemia, said Jeff Abraham, a spokesman for the group.



Mr. Bergman hosted an all-night radio call-in show on KPFK in Los Angeles beginning in 1966, “Radio Free Oz,” which served as the testing ground for the high-spirited Firesign sensibility. Phil Austin and David Ossman, two other founders of the four-man group, were the producer and director of the show; the fourth founder, Phil Proctor, was a frequent guest.

“We started out as four friends, up all night, taking calls from people on bad acid trips and having the time of our lives,” Mr. Austin said in a phone interview Friday. “And that’s what we always were: four friends talking.”

Mr. Bergman and his friends recorded their first album, “Waiting for the Electrician or Someone Like Him,” in 1968, followed the next year by “How Can You Be in Two Places at Once When You’re Not Anywhere At All?”

By 1970, their mordant humor and their mastery of stereophonic recording techniques had made them to their generation of 20-somethings what Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert are to today’s (if Mr. Colbert and Mr. Stewart had a weakness for literary wordplay, psychedelic references and jokes about the Counter-Reformation).

Their records employed sound effects in ways considered pioneering in audio comedy at the time. More generally, they were considered important forerunners of comedy shows like “Saturday Night Live.”

Ed Ward, writing in The New York Times in 1972, described the third Firesign album, “Don’t Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me the Pliers,” as “a mind-boggling sound drama” and a “work of almost Joycean complexity.”

“It’s almost impossible to summarize any Firesign album,” Mr. Ward wrote, because most of their albums were so filled with “intricate wordplay, stunning engineering and use of sound effects, breakneck pacing and, of course, a terribly complex story line.”

When the Library of Congress placed “Don’t Crush That Dwarf” in its National Recording Registry in 2005, The Los Angeles Times described Firesign Theater as “the Beatles of comedy.”

Mr. Bergman told people the ensemble’s albums, unlike most comedy records, were never made to be listened to just once or twice. “He said our records were made to be heard about 80 times,” Mr. Austin said.

While the ensemble continued making albums for three decades, Mr. Bergman also wrote and produced several one-man shows, including “Help Me Out of This Head,” a 1986 monologue-memoir that drew on his childhood in Cleveland. He also wrote interactive games, including a CD-ROM parody of the popular adventure video game Myst.

Mr. Bergman was born on Nov. 29, 1939, in Cleveland, one of two children of Oscar and Rita Bergman. His parents hosted a radio show in Cleveland when he was growing up, “Breakfast With the Bergmans.” His father also worked as a reporter for The Plain Dealer.

Mr. Bergman graduated from Yale and taught economics there as a Carnegie Fellow. He later attended the Yale School of Drama as a Eugene O’Neill playwriting fellow. He moved to Los Angeles in the early 1960s to pursue a writing career.

He is survived by a daughter, Lily Oscar Bergman, and his sister, Wendy Kleckner.

Mr. Bergman got a taste of radio work when he was in high school, according to a biography on Firesign Theater’s official Web site. But he lost his job as an announcer on the school radio system, it said, “after his unauthorized announcement that the Chinese Communists had taken over the school and that a ‘mandatory voluntary assembly was to take place immediately.’ Russell Rupp, the school principal, promptly relieved Peter of his announcing gig. Rupp was the inspiration for the Principal Poop character on ‘Don’t Crush That Dwarf.’ ”


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!! - 03-18-2012, 05:32 PM

Praise Jesus, another pope is in hell today being sodomised by demons.

Quote:
Egyptian Christians mourn Coptic pope Shenouda III

Thousands of Copts queue at cathedral where body of 117th pope of Alexandria has been seated on ceremonial throne before funeral

Egypt's Coptic Christians have gathered to pay their final respects to Pope Shenouda III.

He had sought to soothe sectarian tension in his four decades leading the country's Orthodox church but there were escalating clashes in the last months of his life.

Shenouda served as the 117th pope of Alexandria from November 1971, leading the Coptic community that makes up most of Egypt's Christians. He died on Saturday, aged 88, and his funeral will be held on Tuesday, Egyptian state media reported.

Barack Obama offered his condolences and Pope Benedict, the leader of the world's Roman Catholics, offered prayers.

After Hosni Mubarak was ousted as the Egyptian president last year, Shenouda regularly called for harmony and met Muslim and other leaders. Christians comprise about a tenth of Egypt's population and have long complained of discrimination, stepping up their protests in the past year and calling for new rules that would make it as easy to build a church as a mosque.

Thousands queued in Cairo's Abbasiya district overnight and at the cathedral on Sunday morning, where Shenouda's body was initially laid in a coffin and later seated on a ceremonial throne, wearing gold and red embroidered religious vestments.

Shenouda was popular among many of Egypt's Christians even outside the Coptic church, as well as among many Muslims. However, some Christian activists said he should have pushed the state harder to secure more rights for Christians.

The burial is expected to take place at the Wadi al-Natrun monastery, in the desert north-west of Cairo, where he had asked to be interred.

In 1981, Shenouda was banished to the monastery by the then president, Anwar Sadat, after he criticised the government's handling of an Islamist insurgency in the 1970s and Egypt's 1979 peace treaty with Israel.

Under Mubarak's rule, relations between the government and the Coptic church were generally smooth, with the pope portrayed in state media as a symbol of religious harmony, despite occasional outbreaks of sectarian violence.

Obama said: "We will remember Pope Shenouda III as a man of deep faith, a leader of a great faith, and an advocate for unity and reconciliation."

He added that Shenouda had been committed to national unity and was "a beloved leader of Egypt's Coptic Christians and an advocate for tolerance and religious dialogue".

Shenouda publicly supported Mubarak in the last days before the president was removed by a popular uprising in February 2011 – a stance that drew criticism from some members of the church who had joined anti-government protests. Some Muslim leaders also backed Mubarak in his last days.

Christians have long complained about rules that put more restrictions on building a church than a mosque, and also say they have been discriminated against in the workplace.

They have accused hardline Islamists of attacking churches and say officials have failed to step in to protect them, although experts say some recent incidents have been fuelled by local grudges as well as sectarian tensions.

The head of Egypt's ruling military council, Field Marshal Mohamed Hussein Tantawi, granted Christians working in state institutions three days of mourning, state media reported.

Bishop Bakhomious, the head of the church of Bahaira, a district in the Nile delta north of Cairo, will hold the post of pope for two months until a new leader is elected.

Egyptian media described the procedure for choosing a new pope as one based on a system of voting by board members of the church's city councils. The councils vote on three preferred candidates, and the final choice is made when a name is picked out of a box by a young child, the media said.
Can you imagine a more un-Christian method of choosing your new leader?


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!! - 03-18-2012, 06:57 PM

Ding! Dong! The pope is dead!

Thousands have gathered to make sure that this was not a trick. The Christians took the so-called pope's body and stuck it on public view just in case anyone thought that he might be joking or planning a fake resurrection in 3 days.





“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

Author of such illuminating essays as,
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
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Default Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!! - 03-23-2012, 05:43 PM

joo brings Satan's own "nosh," the bagel, to America. Decides to Propose to Satan. Satan accepts

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Default Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!! - 03-24-2012, 05:21 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SUV View Post
joo brings Satan's own "nosh," the bagel, to America. Decides to Propose to Satan. Satan accepts



Who's the kike? Soupy Sales?


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!! - 03-24-2012, 03:57 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Who's the kike? Soupy Sales?
It's even worse than that, Pastor Ezekiel. That is one "Murray LENDER" perhaps the very one that JESUS chased from the Temple
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Default Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!! - 03-24-2012, 05:34 PM

Christ told us to pray, "Give us this day our daily bread," not a freezer full of bagels for the week.


This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

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Default Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!! - 03-24-2012, 06:47 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SUV View Post
It's even worse than that, Pastor Ezekiel. That is one "Murray LENDER" perhaps the very one that JESUS chased from the Temple
I think it strange that a hooked-nosed Joo would have a name like "Lender" when they are known for being such greedy penny pinchers.




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Default Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!! - 03-24-2012, 06:50 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Daisy Mae Johnson View Post
I think it strange that a hooked-nosed Joo would have a name like "Lender" when they are known for being such greedy penny pinchers.
His middle name is probably "At interest".


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Default Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!! - 03-25-2012, 02:05 PM


Who was this, the king of all pirates, or the king of all homer!s, everywhere? Train roll on!


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Default Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!! - 03-26-2012, 06:08 PM

So today we get some old joo preparing to do a "Bill Clinton"

Does even Satan have no Decency any more?


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Default Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!! - 03-28-2012, 11:23 PM

A commie lezbertarian feminazi will now be the poetess laureate of hell.

From The Washington Compost:
Quote:
SANTA CRUZ, Calif. — Poet Adrienne Rich, whose socially conscious verse influenced a generation of feminist, gay rights and anti-war activists, has died. She was 82.

* * *

Through her writing, Rich explored topics such as women’s rights, racism, sexuality, economic justice and love between women.

* * *

“For me, socialism represents moral value — the dignity and human rights of all citizens,” she told the San Francisco Chronicle in 2005. “That is, the resources of a society should be shared and the wealth redistributed as widely as possible.”
She did one thing right, though:
Quote:
But when then-President Clinton awarded the National Medal of Arts in 1997, Rich refused to accept it, citing the administration’s “cynical politics.”


This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

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Default Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!! - 03-29-2012, 06:32 PM


Silly Man! Everyone knows that the banjo is OF SATAN. In fact, I learnt it Right here at Landover Baptist Church!

So have fun serenading Beezelbub, Earl Scruggs!



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Default Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!! - 03-29-2012, 06:45 PM

I never saw a white person play a banjo!


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Default Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!! - 03-29-2012, 06:52 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Roberta View Post
I never saw a white person play a banjo!
It is weird, Sister. Do you think it might be "President" O'Bomber....in Whiteface....desperate to get back to his Kenyan....ROOTS?




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