HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN A seasonal forum to NOT celebrate Satan's birthday. |
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Posts: 7,220
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: 2012 Witch Hunt! -
10-31-2012, 11:33 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by John North
Praise the LORD! I’ve got a live one! This is my first ever! What now? Should I poke it with a stick or throw down a badger? Damn the weapon laws where I live for not allowing True Christians to own grenades.
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HEY you got one!!! Do you have a bucket full of good throwing stones? I would suggest throwing a few baseballs at it first to warm up your arm and and get on target. You don't want the witch throwing them back at you....make sure your first stone is a stunner, then have at it.
ummmm for myself I did catch one with my oversized traps...but ummm....I guess it counts as two witchs now right?
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: 2012 Witch Hunt! -
11-01-2012, 04:06 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by KrissyNesmith
I gotta be honest, I find the fact that you seem to have actual "witch hunts" more than a little unnerving.
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You should be nervous, witch.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
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Posts: 14,178
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: With my nose stuck in the Bible.
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Re: 2012 Witch Hunt! -
11-01-2012, 04:34 AM
My last one got all tired early and fell asleep early in her sleeping bag.
Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.
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Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
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Posts: 14,455
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
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Re: 2012 Witch Hunt! -
11-05-2012, 01:33 AM
So are the organizers going to bother counting the cooters and ears, or dismiss with the lip-service to impartiality and just give Zeke the trophy again?
I'm guessing the only suspense will be whether he bothers to crawl out of bed long enough (feigning sobriety long enough to deliver a cribbed sermon on Sunday morning mid-afternoon can be soooo tiring) to show up in person, or just sends his "houseboy" to collect the cheque.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: 2012 Witch Hunt! -
11-05-2012, 03:14 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Didymus Much
So are the organizers going to bother counting the cooters and ears, or dismiss with the lip-service to impartiality and just give Zeke the trophy again?
I'm guessing the only suspense will be whether he bothers to crawl out of bed long enough (feigning sobriety long enough to deliver a cribbed sermon on Sunday morning mid-afternoon can be soooo tiring) to show up in person, or just sends his "houseboy" to collect the cheque.
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Shut your heathen yap and have a little respect. We're still organizing a search party for Rev. Rodimer, who disappeared on Halloween night.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
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Posts: 14,455
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
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Re: 2012 Witch Hunt! -
11-05-2012, 03:31 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
...We're still organizing a search party for Rev. Rodimer, who disappeared on Halloween night.
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Even though he has 25 posts listed for November 1st? Um, interesting...
So who's in charge of this "search party"?
If it's Officer Don, I'll just go ahead and mail my condolence letter to the Widow Helen. Is it still the same "c/o Indiana Department of Corrections" address for her?
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: 2012 Witch Hunt! -
11-05-2012, 03:09 PM
Last I heard, Widow Helen had Rodimer over for dinner.
Zeke, has anyone counted my families kill? I know you will win the individual medal but I am hoping the Hutchins family wins the group medal. It will be year 6 for us if we do.
Also, I'll be wanting the barrels back, can you see if Jimmy-Wayne (Jimmy-Roy's boy) will clean them out for me? Tell him I'll pay a shiny dime for each barrel he cleans. In fact, tell him I'll give him a whole dollar for every eleven!
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,440
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: 2012 Witch Hunt! -
11-05-2012, 04:50 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins
Last I heard, Widow Helen had Rodimer over for dinner.
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My wife had Widow Helen on the phone last night and Widow Helen has no idea where Rodimer is. I just hope the forest witches didn't kill Rodimer.
At first count it seemed I won the witch hunt this year, but somehow 24 of my witch ears disappeared before the recount so it seems Pastor Ezekiel won again this year.
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
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Re: 2012 Witch Hunt! -
11-05-2012, 05:08 PM
And the winners are:
1. Pastor Zeke
2. Deaner
3. Cranky Old Man
4. James Hutchins
5. Levi Jones
6. John Creeser
Sorry folks who didn't win. You put in a fantastic effort. Thank you for your participation. You can try again next year!
Winners! I hope you enjoy your free dinner at the Red Lobster anytime between Nov 1, 2012 - Jan. 31, 2012 and your $1,000 gift certificate to Brother Bob4God's Gun Shack.
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: 2012 Witch Hunt! -
11-05-2012, 09:34 PM
Looks like I will have 'talking' to do with my children tonight? First I'll need the BensGay for my shoulder.
Congratulation Zeke, Deaner, Cranky, Levi and John. I am in good company. Most of all, thank you Jesus for giving me a steady had and a sharp eye.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,440
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: 2012 Witch Hunt! -
11-05-2012, 10:09 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daisy Mae Johnson
1. Pastor Zeke
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Congratulations Pastor Ezekiel and all other winners on making Jesus smile by ridding the world of those evil witches.
I would also like to thank whoever shot my neighbor Mrs. Johnson. I am aware she survived, but it's a great effort anyway. Seeing her walk with a limp puts a smile on my face.
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: 2012 Witch Hunt! -
11-06-2012, 05:16 AM
Victory is mine, once again. How sweet.
Quote:
2 Samuel 22:38-39 "I have pursued mine enemies, and destroyed them; and turned not again until I had consumed them. And I have consumed them, and wounded them, that they could not arise: yea, they are fallen under my feet."
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The $1,000 check will come in handy. I need new floormats for my Escalade.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Former Mary Hailer who has seen The Light©
Forum Member
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Posts: 401
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Ireland, a Godless papist hellhole!
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Re: 2012 Witch Hunt! -
11-06-2012, 01:23 PM
Only 3 kills and one severely injured for me this year. I've also sent a few red heads for decontamination this time next week they should be beautiful blondes.
Matthew 10:34
Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
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True Christian™
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Posts: 808
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Ozarks, MO
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Re: 2012 Witch Hunt! -
11-06-2012, 01:27 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liam the ex-drunk
Only 3 kills and one severely injured for me this year. I've also sent a few red heads for decontamination this time next week they should be beautiful blondes.
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Praise, brother, three Irish witches are no more! Tell me, were they the effete literary types, with the 'gift of blarney', or the more weatherbeaten crones, mostly found in the provinces?
YBIC
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Former Mary Hailer who has seen The Light©
Forum Member
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Posts: 401
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Ireland, a Godless papist hellhole!
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Re: 2012 Witch Hunt! -
11-06-2012, 01:38 PM
Two of them were evil twins, spawn of Louis Walsh, they brought dread, fear and homersexualism all over Ireland and Britain, you may have heard of them, the Jedward they were known as, I posted a picture of them here a few days ago.
They cast spells on young girls and boys and made millions in second rate records for the same. If played backwards you can make out distinctive druid chants, cursing God, Simon Cowell and praising the homer extraordinaire, Louis Walsh.
The other was a Lesbian Succubus, spawn of Lilith. Again a part of twin set. One got away but is severely injured. I will track it and kill it soon, it should be easy as the other half is gone, her power is not so great.
I thought I'd go for twin and triplet sets this year in an attempt to overtake Zeke, however the challenge was harder than I imagined. I might stick to traditional trapping next year.
Matthew 10:34
Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
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True Christian™
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Posts: 808
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Ozarks, MO
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Re: 2012 Witch Hunt! -
11-06-2012, 01:42 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liam the ex-drunk
Two of them were evil twins, spawn of Louis Walsh, they brought dread, fear and homersexualism all over Ireland and Britain, you may have heard of them, the Jedward they were known as, I posted a picture of them here a few days ago.
They cast spells on young girls and boys and made millions in second rate records for the same. If played backwards you can make out distinctive druid chants, cursing God, Simon Cowell and praising the homer extraordinaire, Louis Walsh.
The other was a Lesbian Succubus, spawn of Lilith. Again a part of twin set. One got away but is severely injured. I will track it and kill it soon, it should be easy as the other half is gone, her power is not so great.
I thought I'd go for twin and triplet sets this year in an attempt to overtake Zeke, however the challenge was harder than I imagined. I might stick to traditional trapping next year.
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Praise Him, brother, yours is an inspiring feat! If there was a prize for quality, I feel sure you would be a contender.
YBIC
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Former Mary Hailer who has seen The Light©
Forum Member
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Posts: 401
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Ireland, a Godless papist hellhole!
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Re: 2012 Witch Hunt! -
11-06-2012, 01:48 PM
Thank you Brother Hopkins and thanks to Jesus. I'm not used to praise so I don't know how I should adeqately respond, so I'll deflect it to Jesus. Thank you and praise Jesus again for giving me the strength.
Matthew 10:34
Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
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Unsaved Trash, Rabid godmocker
Under Investigation
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Posts: 14
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: shantytown, africa
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Re: 2012 Witch Hunt! -
11-06-2012, 04:28 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
...it turns out we didn't need a new roof on the south wing of the Landover Baptist Cathedral after all.
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You're using money for a church roof to buy a weapon to "kill" witches, which are actually human beings that follow different belief systems to you? That is sickening.
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Warning: In case of Rapture, this account will be unmanned.
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Posts: 7,220
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: 2012 Witch Hunt! -
11-06-2012, 04:29 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daisy Mae Johnson
And the winners are:
1. Pastor Zeke
2. Deaner
3. Cranky Old Man
4. James Hutchins
5. Levi Jones
6. John Creeser
Sorry folks who didn't win. You put in a fantastic effort. Thank you for your participation. You can try again next year!
Winners! I hope you enjoy your free dinner at the Red Lobster anytime between Nov 1, 2012 - Jan. 31, 2012 and your $1,000 gift certificate to Brother Bob4God's Gun Shack.
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YAY!!!!! My first year in the top six!! The boys had so much fun!!
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True Christian™
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Posts: 808
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Ozarks, MO
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Re: 2012 Witch Hunt! -
11-06-2012, 04:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Obedient69
You're using money for a church roof to buy a weapon to "kill" witches, which are actually human beings that follow different belief systems to you? That is sickening.
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Yes, friend, witches are indeed "sickening", as you point out.
YBIC
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