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True Christian™ Creation Scientist Landover Baptist University Associate Professor Smashing atheist science one fact at a time
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Re: Stoning As Capital Punishment -
02-12-2010, 05:51 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Free Market Fred
So we're looking into the possibility of removing it and hooking the "patient" to an artificial heart/lung machine like used in surgery.
There's no doubt this could keep the criminal alive for a few hours until the execution, but it's kind of tricky. We'd have to hide the machine in an underground chamber, since the audience and stoners would be turned off if they saw it (plus, it could damaged by the stones). We certainly wouldn't want the machine to ruin the entertainment value of these executions - that would sadden the audience, and potentially jeopardize ticket sales.
But I have a lot of confidence in my tech people - they've performed some real miracles in the past. I'm praying for their success in this endeavor, to deliver Christian love, entertainment, and generate great profits. You can't imagine how proud my company is to be doing the Lord's work.
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I greatly admire your economic mind, Brother! As for the heart/lung machine, wouldn't this be expensive to purchase just for this purpose? I'm not much of a technician or a economist, but we sure will have a lot of spare machine parts when Project Habakkuk is finished, maybe we can use some of them for this!
Sweet Lord Jesus,
I want to pray for those who persecute me, my Lord.
Please, treat their children as you treated those of Egypt, when they upset you! (Psalm 135:8-9)
Dash their little children against the stones for their fathers iniquity! (Psalm 137:8-9)
Hit them on the cheek, and smash out their teeth! (Psalm 3:7)
Make their death and descent into Hell swift and terrible! (Psalm 55:15)
Scatter their broken bodies over the streets of their evil cities, like Benghazi, Amsterdam, Tokyo and Mecca! (Psalm 110:6)
Praised be Your Glorious Name™.
Amen.
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: Stoning As Capital Punishment -
02-12-2010, 06:27 PM
Fred, that is a pretty big investment to keep the organs viable.
Could we instead, stop the stoning at the point of unconsciousness, then sell the entire still living carcass to the highest bidding hospital/individual? The body would still be alive and we save a bundle on that expensive equipment.
I am no medical person but to me, it just makes sensible business. I would think we will need a Pastors input on this possibility. I figure the money saved would be better spent on the Pastors Rest Pavillion.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Re: Stoning As Capital Punishment -
02-12-2010, 09:06 PM
I know if I were up on a capitol offence I would demand to be stoned to death. It would be a pleasure to die like so many Chistian martyrs have in the past.
emp
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The Prophet of Profit, Now Giving Financial Advice to Jesus in Heaven
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Re: Stoning As Capital Punishment -
02-13-2010, 12:18 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by True Disciple
I greatly admire your economic mind, Brother! As for the heart/lung machine, wouldn't this be expensive to purchase just for this purpose?
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Hi Brother True,
I understand your concern about the cost of these machines. They are certainly very expensive in America. Fortunately, they are now made in China for not much more than the cost of a laptop computer. Indeed, we recycle old computer parts and toxic wastes from landfills in order to construct these heart/lung machines, which we then export to America. They seem to work well enough so that we can collect the patient's health insurance money, before he or she drops dead a few weeks later from lead poisoning, cancer or liver failure.
Parts Department at our factory in China
In short, they are now very cost effective devices. Unfortunately, these Chinese-made heart/lung machines are banned in the EU, Australia, New Zealand, Canada, and in fact in China itself, but exports to America remain strong.
Praise Jesus!
Brother Fred
CEO, The Uranus Corporation
Put your faith in Uranus!
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Mayor of Freehold
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Re: Stoning As Capital Punishment -
02-13-2010, 02:57 AM
Pastor Ezekiel provided a scholarly review the the infractions that require stoning. He noted that sodomites received a pass, though we know them to be today's top drawer sinners.
It's my belief that the most common sin today, and the one that seems VERY high in the ranking of sins in KJV 1611, is usury, i. e., interest. In my signature you can note that usury will cause the LORD to empty the world of its inhabitants. Today's economic crisis started in the banks. Banks charge interest. Surely, then, the crisis is God's punishment for usury.
But, receivers and payers of interest, while sentenced to run-of-the-mill death, seem also to get a pass from stoning. This is a mystery to me. Can someone explain?
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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AMERICA - LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT!!!
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Re: Stoning As Capital Punishment -
02-13-2010, 03:49 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Free Market Fred
That's the magic of the marketplace as Ronald Reagan used to say.
By the way, I got thinking more about harvesting organs from the bodies of criminals executed by stoning. Burying them up to their waists preserves most of the transplantable organs like the stomach, liver, kidneys and intestines. However, there are several lucrative organs in the upper body that are vulnerable to stone damage: that would include corneas, heart and lungs..
Talking it over with my tech people, I think we've got at least a partial solution. We can easily remove the corneas before the stoning, and probably one lung, as those aren't necessary for life. Sure hate to lose the other lung, but the heart is especially marketable. So we're looking into the possibility of removing it and hooking the "patient" to an artificial heart/lung machine like used in surgery.
There's no doubt this could keep the criminal alive for a few hours until the execution, but it's kind of tricky. We'd have to hide the machine in an underground chamber, since the audience and stoners would be turned off if they saw it (plus, it could damaged by the stones). We certainly wouldn't want the machine to ruin the entertainment value of these executions - that would sadden the audience, and potentially jeopardize ticket sales.
But I have a lot of confidence in my tech people - they've performed some real miracles in the past. I'm praying for their success in this endeavor, to deliver Christian love, entertainment, and generate great profits. You can't imagine how proud my company is to be doing the Lord's work.
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I loved the way Reagan thought although he was a bit too left at times.
Our medical system which is the best in the world and the most profitable is now 17% of the US GDP. Praise Jesus!
Because doctors are human, the letters MD does not mean Me Diety although doctor are Christlike in their ability to heal, they still make errors. Because of free market principles that are allowed in our Godly medical industry even medical errors are highly profitable. In 2003 medical errors accounted in only 400 billion in extra revenue but today that number is over one trillion. The Christian part is the best part. God is using our health care system as an instrument to inflict suffering on bad people. The libs like to whine and complain that medical errors are the leading cause of death and injury in the US. I won't argue the point because they are correct but every one of these deaths and injuries is one of God's righteous judgments. Clearly God is smiling down on the health care industry.
Jesus loves Dick
Cheney/Palin 2012
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Mayor of Freehold
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Re: Stoning As Capital Punishment -
02-13-2010, 04:21 PM
Talk about money making oportunities, how about giving "style points" to stone throwers--like hitting the guilty party with behind-the-back tosses, hooks shots, or throwing left and right simoultaneously. Then ESPN could hold a Stone Throwing Derby, like the dunk shot and home run derbies where there are judges, crowd favorites, etc. Some potential it seems.
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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The Prophet of Profit, Now Giving Financial Advice to Jesus in Heaven
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Re: Stoning As Capital Punishment -
02-14-2010, 03:42 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold
Today's economic crisis started in the banks. Banks charge interest. Surely, then, the crisis is God's punishment for usury.
But, receivers and payers of interest, while sentenced to run-of-the-mill death, seem also to get a pass from stoning. This is a mystery to me. Can someone explain?
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Erh, look - the economic crisis had nothing to do with our righteous banks. The reason for the collapse is that liberal Democrats like Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton forced the banks to give loans to negroes. And once we started giving loans to negroes, we felt it was our duty to continuing giving high-interest subprime loans to all unqualified people, as well as to trick people who qualified for low-interest prime loans into taking out rip-off subprime loans. Then we invented even more ridiculous Option-ARM Loans. Then we even persuaded people to take out "home equity loans" (second mortgages) using their overvalued home (that the bank actually owns) as collateral. And then we took all the crappy loans and bundled them into worthless mortgage-backed securities, got them rated AAA by Moody's, and sold them to suckers investors, and we even gave loans to the investors to buy the worthless securities, thereby leveraging a bad investment 10:1. And then, since they were crap investments anyway, we sold insurance called "credit default swaps" to anyone (even those who had no insurable interest, but wanted to make money off the defaults they knew were coming). And then when the insurance companies like AIG went bankrupt trying to pay off these bad bets, we got the taxpayers to buy AIG and bail them out. As as real estate prices collapsed and all our loans went sour, we got another big bailout by unloading the junk loans onto Phony & Frauddie Fanny & Freddie, which too went bust and got taken over by the US government (ie taxpayers).
And since all of the above are now leveraged 100:1, the losses are about 10 times the size of the world economy!
I really don't know how you can say the banks are to blame for the depression. Indeed, our profits have never been better! It's the US government (ie taxpayers) that's going broke, but that's not our problem - no one said they had to be so stupid to take over our bad debts. None of this would have been possible without deregulation, so whose fault was that? So really, the collapse was all the fault of the regulators and congressmen we bought (and the idiots who elected them).
So to summarize, it's the government's fault. In other words, evil socialism! I hope you now understand.
Praise Jesus!
Brother Fred
CEO, The Uranus Corporation
Put your faith in Uranus!
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Mayor of Freehold
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Re: Stoning As Capital Punishment -
02-14-2010, 04:42 AM
Free Market Fred--I agree with you--markets and banks should not be regulated in any way by government. The only legitimate regulator is God. And God is REALLY mad about the charging of interest. I'm in politcs and making lots of money. I do business only in hard cash with no interest received or charged because it is more Christian.
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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True Christian™ Televangelist Director of Fundraising and Tithing On the Look Out for Wife #6!
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Re: Stoning As Capital Punishment -
02-14-2010, 05:57 AM
I think harvesting organs from condemned criminals has merits as a lucrative business opportunity, but I'll be frank on this issue. I don't know if I would be comfortable having a kidney from some homosexual thief in me. Especially if they were a negro. Are negro kidneys even compatible with white kidneys?
I think more medical research needs to be done on this. 99% of criminals who would get stoned are minorities, and I'm pretty sure none of their organs will work in a white person's.
Then again, I heard about some kid who got a baboon heart, so I'm sure some smart Jew doctor might be able to make it happen.
Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.
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Founder, Operation Rescue, Now in Heaven with Jesus
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Re: Stoning As Capital Punishment -
02-14-2010, 01:16 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. Jim Osborne
I think more medical research needs to be done on this. 99% of criminals who would get stoned are minorities, and I'm pretty sure none of their organs will work in a white person's.
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Amen, Rev. Jim! Last thing I would want is a negro's heart in my chest. If I ever got a heart transplant and the donor was a negro, no doubt I'd soon start talking jive, steal handbags from old ladies, snort crack, plus my tallywacker would grow to a ridiculous size.
Another thing I'm worried about are them stem cells. I'm sure that Obama's death panels wants to inject white people with stem cells to create more homos for gay marriage - that way, we white Americans won't reproduce and Kenya gets to take over the world!
You betcha' that ACORN is behind all this.
yours in Christ,
Brother Buford
The only way to reduce the number of nuclear weapons is to use them.
- Rush Limbaugh
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
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Re: Stoning As Capital Punishment -
02-14-2010, 03:25 PM
Gentlemen, I think you are missing a key point. An organ must be viable, that mean able to work and function. God knows, that alone excludes ever organ from a lay about, shuffle footed, pie stealing, homer nigra
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Re: Stoning As Capital Punishment -
02-14-2010, 07:15 PM
Now I am confused my brothers. A month ago I had asked if I should stone my ex-fiancee and was advised that we must obey secular law. Now there seems to be a shift in opinion. Should I reunite with my ex-fiancee and gather the elders of my community and arrange a stoning now?
God Bless You,
Mervyn Kohl Duggar
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True Christian™ Creation Scientist Landover Baptist University Associate Professor Smashing atheist science one fact at a time
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Re: Stoning As Capital Punishment -
02-14-2010, 07:51 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. Jim Osborne
I think harvesting organs from condemned criminals has merits as a lucrative business opportunity, but I'll be frank on this issue. I don't know if I would be comfortable having a kidney from some homosexual thief in me. Especially if they were a negro. Are negro kidneys even compatible with white kidneys?
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Oh, but we don't have to use them ourselves. There are some very rich negroes around (Oh, the blasphemy! ), and they won't have a problem buying organs from other negroes, I think. We ourselves don't really need those organs, as we are kept healthy by prayer.
Sweet Lord Jesus,
I want to pray for those who persecute me, my Lord.
Please, treat their children as you treated those of Egypt, when they upset you! (Psalm 135:8-9)
Dash their little children against the stones for their fathers iniquity! (Psalm 137:8-9)
Hit them on the cheek, and smash out their teeth! (Psalm 3:7)
Make their death and descent into Hell swift and terrible! (Psalm 55:15)
Scatter their broken bodies over the streets of their evil cities, like Benghazi, Amsterdam, Tokyo and Mecca! (Psalm 110:6)
Praised be Your Glorious Name™.
Amen.
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The Prophet of Profit, Now Giving Financial Advice to Jesus in Heaven
True Christian™
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Re: Stoning As Capital Punishment -
02-14-2010, 10:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by True Disciple
Oh, but we don't have to use them ourselves. There are some very rich negroes around
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Excellent point, Brother True! Indeed, we have already supplied organs to some famous wealthy black clients. Among the more notable ones:
Idi Amin, humanitarian
Recipient of brain transplant. Donor was believed to be Adolph Hitler.
Robert Mugabe, economist
Another brain transplant recipient. Donor was Chicago School economist Milton Friedman.
Clarence Thomas, porn star
Recipient of tallywacker transplant.
Nino Brown, businessman (pharmaceuticals)
No actual transplant, but had numerous gold chains and other pieces of gold jewelry permanently grafted to his skin.
You can't imagine how proud it makes me feel to know that my company has been contributing to racial harmony by helping these upstanding members of the black community. They will no doubt serve as roll models to negro youth everywhere.
Praise Jesus!
Brother Fred
CEO, The Uranus Corporation
Put your faith in Uranus!
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True Christian™ Creation Scientist Landover Baptist University Associate Professor Smashing atheist science one fact at a time
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,446
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Location: Flood Hydrology Lab, Landover University, Freehold, IA
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Re: Stoning As Capital Punishment -
02-15-2010, 12:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Free Market Fred
Idi Amin, humanitarian
Recipient of brain transplant. Donor was believed to be Adolph Hitler.
Robert Mugabe, economist
Another brain transplant recipient. Donor was Chicago School economist Milton Friedman.
Clarence Thomas, porn star
Recipient of tallywacker transplant.
Nino Brown, businessman (pharmaceuticals)
No actual transplant, but had numerous gold chains and other pieces of gold jewelry permanently grafted to his skin.
You can't imagine how proud it makes me feel to know that my company has been contributing to racial harmony by helping these upstanding members of the black community. They will no doubt serve as roll models to negro youth everywhere.
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Uh...Brother, I am suddenly worried.
At what point in their lives exactly did those people receive their transplants? Because, you see, all of your donors seem to be white jewish persons, and if they received their transplants early in their life, then it might explain the elusive mystery as to how negroes can suddenly be intelligent and successful nowadays, while every white person knows that the Hamite race is considerably less blessed with mental capacities than Caucasian people are.
I mean, it is inadvisable to transplant organs of black people into white people, but the other way around may be inadvisable as well, as the donors you mentioned are among the most uppity negroes the world has known, displaying an extraordinary mastery of True Caucasian™ characteristics, like intelligence, ambition, morality etc. Could this be the result of those transplants? I mean, it is a really Godly and profitable business, of course, but we don't really want more uppity negroes than we already have in this world, do we?
Sweet Lord Jesus,
I want to pray for those who persecute me, my Lord.
Please, treat their children as you treated those of Egypt, when they upset you! (Psalm 135:8-9)
Dash their little children against the stones for their fathers iniquity! (Psalm 137:8-9)
Hit them on the cheek, and smash out their teeth! (Psalm 3:7)
Make their death and descent into Hell swift and terrible! (Psalm 55:15)
Scatter their broken bodies over the streets of their evil cities, like Benghazi, Amsterdam, Tokyo and Mecca! (Psalm 110:6)
Praised be Your Glorious Name™.
Amen.
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On the straight and narrow path to Heaven.
True Christian™
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Posts: 472
Join Date: Nov 2009
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Re: Stoning As Capital Punishment -
02-15-2010, 06:00 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins
Gentlemen, I think you are missing a key point. An organ must be viable, that mean able to work and function. God knows, that alone excludes ever organ from a lay about, shuffle footed, pie stealing, homer nigra
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What about those unfortunate enough to have their manhood injured? We know that unless they get repairs done, they cannot enter the church (Deuteronomy, Chapter 23). Now, Negro males have exceptionally large parts there. Perhaps these could be used for transplants.
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True Christian™ Creation Scientist Landover Baptist University Associate Professor Smashing atheist science one fact at a time
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,446
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Flood Hydrology Lab, Landover University, Freehold, IA
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Re: Stoning As Capital Punishment -
02-15-2010, 07:29 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aristotle
What about those unfortunate enough to have their manhood injured? We know that unless they get repairs done, they cannot enter the church (Deuteronomy, Chapter 23). Now, Negro males have exceptionally large parts there. Perhaps these could be used for transplants.
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I don't know this, Brother...besides that I wouldn't want to have a black tallywhacker, Deuteronomy 23:1 speaks about "wounded in the stones." I don't think a white person with a black tallywhacker can be considered "healthy"...
Deuteronomy 23:1:
He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD.
Sweet Lord Jesus,
I want to pray for those who persecute me, my Lord.
Please, treat their children as you treated those of Egypt, when they upset you! (Psalm 135:8-9)
Dash their little children against the stones for their fathers iniquity! (Psalm 137:8-9)
Hit them on the cheek, and smash out their teeth! (Psalm 3:7)
Make their death and descent into Hell swift and terrible! (Psalm 55:15)
Scatter their broken bodies over the streets of their evil cities, like Benghazi, Amsterdam, Tokyo and Mecca! (Psalm 110:6)
Praised be Your Glorious Name™.
Amen.
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The Prophet of Profit, Now Giving Financial Advice to Jesus in Heaven
True Christian™
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Posts: 803
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: In Heaven with Jesus
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Re: Stoning As Capital Punishment -
02-17-2010, 01:58 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by True Disciple
Uh...Brother, I am suddenly worried.
At what point in their lives exactly did those people receive their transplants? Because, you see, all of your donors seem to be white jewish persons, and if they received their transplants early in their life, then it might explain the elusive mystery as to how negroes can suddenly be intelligent and successful nowadays, while every white person knows that the Hamite race is considerably less blessed with mental capacities than Caucasian people are.
I mean, it is inadvisable to transplant organs of black people into white people, but the other way around may be inadvisable as well, as the donors you mentioned are among the most uppity negroes the world has known, displaying an extraordinary mastery of True Caucasian™ characteristics, like intelligence, ambition, morality etc. Could this be the result of those transplants? I mean, it is a really Godly and profitable business, of course, but we don't really want more uppity negroes than we already have in this world, do we?
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Well, in the case of Robert Mugabe, he received Milton Friedman's brain before Friedman actually died. No one noticed any difference in Friedman's behavior, so this was not a problem (note: Friedman did receive a monkey's brain as a substitute - you do need some kind of brain to keep the heart beating and to breathe).
Similarly, Ronald Reagan donated his brain shortly after being elected in 1980, receiving a baboon's brain as a substitute. Again, no one noticed and Reagan went on to become our greatest president!
In short, lack of a functioning brain is not a hindrance, as our political and economic leaders have proven time and again. Most important is having the support of fellow Christian voters.
Future president?
Praise Jesus!
Brother Fred
CEO, The Uranus Corporation
Put your faith in Uranus!
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True Christian™ Creation Scientist Landover Baptist University Associate Professor Smashing atheist science one fact at a time
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,446
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Flood Hydrology Lab, Landover University, Freehold, IA
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Re: Stoning As Capital Punishment -
02-17-2010, 10:35 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Free Market Fred
Well, in the case of Robert Mugabe, he received Milton Friedman's brain before Friedman actually died. No one noticed any difference in Friedman's behavior, so this was not a problem (note: Friedman did receive a monkey's brain as a substitute - you do need some kind of brain to keep the heart beating and to breathe).
Similarly, Ronald Reagan donated his brain shortly after being elected in 1980, receiving a baboon's brain as a substitute. Again, no one noticed and Reagan went on to become our greatest president!
In short, lack of a functioning brain is not a hindrance, as our political and economic leaders have proven time and again. Most important is having the support of fellow Christian voters.
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Whew, that's a great relief, Brother! Coming to think of it, I should have known, the soul resides in the heart after all, according to the Holy Bible, not in the brains, as atheists claim. The brain is just a device for cooling the blood.
Sweet Lord Jesus,
I want to pray for those who persecute me, my Lord.
Please, treat their children as you treated those of Egypt, when they upset you! (Psalm 135:8-9)
Dash their little children against the stones for their fathers iniquity! (Psalm 137:8-9)
Hit them on the cheek, and smash out their teeth! (Psalm 3:7)
Make their death and descent into Hell swift and terrible! (Psalm 55:15)
Scatter their broken bodies over the streets of their evil cities, like Benghazi, Amsterdam, Tokyo and Mecca! (Psalm 110:6)
Praised be Your Glorious Name™.
Amen.
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