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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Women Can't Be Trusted -
04-11-2015, 08:25 PM
THIS story caught my eye, and reminded me of the God-given truth: Women cannot be trusted. Even Republican women.
Quote:
Nancy Reagan: “I Want Hillary to Win”
Last week, during a promotional press conference for The History Channel’s upcoming series “First Ladies in Their Own Words,” series’ host Ron Reagan shared clips of his interviews with all living former First Ladies of the United States. In a brief video clip with his mother Nancy Reagan, she offered her endorsement of Hillary Clinton as President saying, “The time for a woman to serve as our President has come – really, now is the time – and I think the idea of having a former First Lady as the leader of the free world is really quite a marvelous notion. I want Hillary to win. Even though I admire two of the current potential Republican nominees, I have no interest in seeing either of them lead this country.”
“First Ladies in Their Own Words” is the brainchild of Presidential historian Doris Kearns Goodwin and Ron Reagan, son of President Ronald Reagan. Broadcast in chronological order of their husbands’ terms in office, Goodwin and Reagan hope the series will show the importance of our First Ladies as a reflection of the culture of the nation during their years in the White House.
Besides interviews about family life in the White House and the First Lady’s social importance in the nation, “First Ladies in Their Own Words” will focus on four particular issues and how each has evolved over the last 40 years. Those issues – Women’s Rights, Healthcare, Education and LGBT Rights – reveal a dynamic shift in what Americans think about what means to be “American.” As Pulitzer Prize-winner Doris Kearns Goodwin notes in the first episode, “The Founding Mothers of this country knew that women in Colonial America would never get to shape the politics of the country at that time, but they did know that had the more important job of shaping the men who shaped the country.”
Ron Reagan was in his twenties when his father sat in the Oval Office and was clearly aware of what his mother’s job was as First Lady. “Hopefully, this program can show that no matter how divisive the nation was during the Presidency, the First Ladies of this nation knew their job was to soften the rhetoric by loving all Americans equally – just like a mother would.”
Asked about his mother’s endorsement of Hillary Clinton, Reagan thought it showed how little America actually knew about the woman behind the Republican icon. “She wants people to know that the First Ladies are tight. They get together once a year to support each other. In fact, Hillary had no interest in running until both Laura and Barbara Bush cornered her at their get-together in May 2013 and talked her into at least thinking about it! So, in a sense, if Mrs. Clinton does run and win, you can blame the Bush family.”
“First Ladies in Their Own Words” is not yet scheduled on The History Channel, but is expected to begin during the fall television season. Check local listings for dates and times.
Episode 1: Rosalyn Carter – The Farm Perspective
Episode 2: Nancy Reagan – Hollywood East
Episode 3: Barbara Bush – Tough Words
Episode 4: Hillary Clinton – “Stand By Your Man”
Episode 5: Laura Bush – The Learning Curve
Episode 6: Michelle Obama – Camelot Revisited
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Now I know that some of you will want to excuse Mrs. Reagan because of her advanced age. I for one cannot. Even the outburst of a demented old crone contains some truth of their inner thinking. God warns us in 1 Timothy not to trust the widows who provide not for their own.
Quote:
1 Timothy 1:5:3 Honour widows that are widows indeed.
5:4 But if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to shew piety at home, and to requite their parents: for that is good and acceptable before God.
5:5 Now she that is a widow indeed, and desolate, trusteth in God, and continueth in supplications and prayers night and day.
5:6 But she that liveth in pleasure is dead while she liveth.
5:7 And these things give in charge, that they may be blameless.
5:8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.
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Verse 8 seems to apply directly to Mrs. Reagan, and certain other females I know of, even some in Freehold.
Look for more addle-brained females to jump on the Hellary Clinton bandwagon in the coming months. God will be watching and taking notes, as shall I.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 991
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: 1380 Apostle's Park Ct, Freehold
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Re: Women Can't Be Trusted -
04-11-2015, 08:49 PM
Dear Nancy must see something redeeming about Hillary. I for one would vote for Hillary in an instant!
Prayerfully considering ALL the choices, and by no means having made a decision at this time, I remain,
In Jesus,
NRL
1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers." Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
Locations in 50 States and Canada
!Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
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Re: Women Can't Be Trusted -
04-11-2015, 09:06 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb
Dear Nancy must see something redeeming about Hillary. I for one would vote for Hillary in an instant!
Prayerfully considering ALL the choices, and by no means having made a decision at this time, I remain,
In Jesus,
NRL
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I rest my case.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 991
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: 1380 Apostle's Park Ct, Freehold
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Re: Women Can't Be Trusted -
04-11-2015, 09:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
I rest my case.
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How blessed we are, indeed, to have a pastor tolerant of all opinions; one that allows the free expression of ideas! I pray for you daily, Adolph!
Um...Zeke. This pesky keyboard
1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers." Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
Locations in 50 States and Canada
!Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Women Can't Be Trusted -
04-11-2015, 09:31 PM
On behalf of all women everywhere, I apologize.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 991
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: 1380 Apostle's Park Ct, Freehold
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Re: Women Can't Be Trusted -
04-11-2015, 09:38 PM
This song from my childhood comes to mind.
https://youtu.be/-zw9dhiYJqY
1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers." Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
Locations in 50 States and Canada
!Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Women Can't Be Trusted -
04-11-2015, 09:45 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb
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You do realize that your song is the lezbean national anthem, right?
I think a shunning might be in order.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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An old soul
True Christian™
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Posts: 5,237
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: USA-UK-France (traveling)
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Re: Women Can't Be Trusted -
04-12-2015, 09:38 AM
Without Ronald to guide them, the poor Reagan name is being dragged through the mud by his family members. First the son, now the wife. It's a sad but all too familiar story from Adam on. The bible warns us of this eternal problem.
Proverbs 21:19 - [It is] better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.
Proverbs 30:20 - Such [is] the way of an adulterous woman; she eateth, and wipeth her mouth, and saith, I have done no wickedness.
1 Timothy 2:12 - But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.
Proverbs 27:15 - A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.
Psalms 127:2 - [It is] vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: [for] so he giveth his beloved sleep.
Romans 7:15 - For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I.
Proverbs 11:22 - [As] a jewel of gold in a swine's snout, [so is] a fair woman which is without discretion.
Mark 10:12 - And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.
Draft Freehold, Iowa Mayor
Johny Joe Hold
for President in 2024
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
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Re: Women Can't Be Trusted -
04-12-2015, 12:57 PM
Hillary Clinton is a witch who has mesmerized the poor old lady. But that does not excuse her for rejecting Christ in the coming election. While Hillary Clinton was raping Monica Lewinski, and beating her husband like Tina Turner, our great nation was falling into the hands of a communist conspiracy. She will never repent and so she should never be forgiven for her contributions to antiChristian tyranny. And neither should the jackals who worship her, in the shadow of the demon Adramalech. May they be forever cast into outer darkness in the second death, to receive the punishment of those who estrange the only begotten Son of God.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
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Posts: 8,776
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Surrounded by heathens
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Re: Women Can't Be Trusted -
04-12-2015, 01:51 PM
Quote:
I think the idea of having a former First Lady as the leader of the free world is really quite a marvelous notion
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For a moment there I thought the Widow Reagan was talking about running herself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb
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You were a child in 1972?
Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!
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True Christian™
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Posts: 9,361
Join Date: Jan 2007
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Re: Women Can't Be Trusted -
04-12-2015, 06:27 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
You do realize that your song is the lezbean national anthem, right?
I think a shunning might be in order.
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The lone VHS copy of Barbarella (with Jane Fonda) went missing from Freehold's Nazareth Video Rentals years ago. I always thought it was taken out of circulation for good reason, but now I suspect I know where it wound up.
Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
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Re: Women Can't Be Trusted -
04-12-2015, 06:31 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda
On behalf of all women everywhere, I apologize.
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Sister, do not take this great burden on yourself. You are not among those who castrate males everywhere by holding a job.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Women Can't Be Trusted -
04-12-2015, 06:53 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins
Sister, do not take this great burden on yourself. You are not among those who castrate males everywhere by holding a job.
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Indeed I do not castrate males anywhere and am very grateful for their provision and protection. But Clement of Alexandria said it best, a woman's very consciousness of our own nature must evoke feelings of shame. In pain we shall bring forth children, and we shall turn to our husbands and he shall rule over us. Why? Because of the curse upon Eve, the curse that has been passed down to me and all women. God’s sentence hangs still over all my sex and His punishment weighs down upon us. We are the devil’s gateway; we are the embodiment of the woman of pride who first violated the forbidden tree and broke the law of God. It was woman who coaxed her way around Adam, whom the devil had not the force to attack. Tertullian says it better, but it is true. We women are the gates to Hell and there is so much shame to our sex.
The first woman brought forth sin into the world, for what can bring pure from that which is fraught with sin itself (Job 14:4)? The answer is nothing, and so from the very first birth on earth, sin was unleashed into the human race, and every time I give birth, I am [painfully] reminded of my participation in the Sin of the world, and thus the Sacrifice my Lord Jesus Christ made for the Redemption of Man! And I do feel shame! Shame and guilt and contempt for myself, and for my daughters, and for my mother, and for all women who unleash a human-sized blob of flesh, blood, waters, and sin every time her womb vomits out another vile creature born to offend the LORD! And I am so sorry! I am literally weeping as I write this! I am shaking deep in my spirit! There is so much guilt and horror from the knowledge that I am a vessel of SIN! and because of this, ALL MEN pay the ultimate Price (Romans 6:23)!
Please Forgive Me LORD!
Please Have Mercy on Me, Your Devoted Servant!
I Beg You Jesus!
HAVE MERCY!
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
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Re: Women Can't Be Trusted -
04-12-2015, 07:32 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda
We women are the gates to Hell and there is so much shame to our sex.
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Well I suppose I can't argue with that.
My ex-wife Ethel, who was mercifully executed by unknown True Christian™ vigilantes for crimes of a lesbian, pornographic nature, used to fornicate using bars of soap. I can think of nothing more perverse than masturbating with an inanimate object. Her story will constitute powerful testimony in Satan's case against humanity. I'm sure Christ's defense will be that she was only a woman. This is unfortunate for you few females who have a grip on the gospel, and do not rebel against the Holy Ghost by lathering the irreversibly unclean and accursed genitals that demons use as a gateway into the female anatomy.
It is easier for a murderer to repent than it is for some women.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 991
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: 1380 Apostle's Park Ct, Freehold
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Re: Women Can't Be Trusted -
04-12-2015, 08:08 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey
For a moment there I thought the Widow Reagan was talking about running herself.
You were a child in 1972?
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I can recall as a child seeing the video on VH1 Classic before Father had that channel removed from our cable TV lineup.
1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers." Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
Locations in 50 States and Canada
!Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 991
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: 1380 Apostle's Park Ct, Freehold
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Re: Women Can't Be Trusted -
04-12-2015, 08:09 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins
Hillary Clinton is a witch who has mesmerized the poor old lady. But that does not excuse her for rejecting Christ in the coming election. While Hillary Clinton was raping Monica Lewinski, and beating her husband like Tina Turner, our great nation was falling into the hands of a communist conspiracy. She will never repent and so she should never be forgiven for her contributions to antiChristian tyranny. And neither should the jackals who worship her, in the shadow of the demon Adramalech. May they be forever cast into outer darkness in the second death, to receive the punishment of those who estrange the only begotten Son of God.
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Billy Bob,
You know I adore you and I know you adore my pie, but sometimes I wonder about your thought processes.
Hugs,
NRL
1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers." Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
Locations in 50 States and Canada
!Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Women Can't Be Trusted -
04-12-2015, 08:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins
Well I suppose I can't argue with that.
My ex-wife Ethel, who was mercifully executed by unknown True Christian™ vigilantes for crimes of a lesbian, pornographic nature, used to fornicate using bars of soap. I can think of nothing more perverse than masturbating with an inanimate object. Her story will constitute powerful testimony in Satan's case against humanity. I'm sure Christ's defense will be that she was only a woman. This is unfortunate for you few females who have a grip on the gospel, and do not rebel against the Holy Ghost by lathering the irreversibly unclean and accursed genitals that demons use as a gateway into the female anatomy.
It is easier for a murderer to repent than it is for some women.
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I most certainly never touch my genitals. Nor does Mr. Etheldreda if he can help it, with the obvious exception of doing his marital duties for God and country; he faces such a challenge to his dignity with courage and fortitude. I know that the LORD sees me only as a vessel of sin and disgust, not unlike a pile of crusty menstrual rags left outside in the hot desert sun (Isaiah 64:6), but for the Blood of Christ is my very essence tolerable to Him. Still, should His Divine Justice demand that I pay an eternal debt for the offense of having been born a woman and producing yet more offensively sinful offspring, yet will I rejoice His Infinite Mercy and praise His Name in the depths of Hell, so help me God.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 991
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: 1380 Apostle's Park Ct, Freehold
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Re: Women Can't Be Trusted -
04-12-2015, 10:09 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda
I most certainly never touch my genitals. Nor does Mr. Etheldreda if he can help it, with the obvious exception of doing his marital duties for God and country; he faces such a challenge to his dignity with courage and fortitude. I know that the LORD sees me only as a vessel of sin and disgust, not unlike a pile of crusty menstrual rags left outside in the hot desert sun (Isaiah 64:6), but for the Blood of Christ is my very essence tolerable to Him. Still, should His Divine Justice demand that I pay an eternal debt for the offense of having been born a woman and producing yet more offensively sinful offspring, yet will I rejoice His Infinite Mercy and praise His Name in the depths of Hell, so help me God.
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And I, too, will willingly suffer the flames of perdition while shouting GLORY TO GOD IN HEAVEN! if the Lord sees fit to damn me for my unmarried, childless life. Surely His marvelous grace will intervene, but as a sovereign and almighty God, His choices are without need of explanation. I curse my womanhood and fall on my knees, begging the LORD to see fit to look upon me as I lay on my new Ralph Lauren sheets, dabbing my tears with Armani handkerchiefs. (They were 2 for $300 at Bergdorf-Goodman - such a steal!)
Oh, Father God, I am NOTHING without You! I am NOTHING without a loving and disciplining husband! Please send one my way (handsome, youthful, and strong, with a dashing smile and a huge amount of love for You). AMEN
1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers." Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
Locations in 50 States and Canada
!Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 1,330
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: In the kitchen
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Re: Women Can't Be Trusted -
04-12-2015, 10:28 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb
Oh, Father God, I am NOTHING without You! I am NOTHING without a loving and disciplining husband! Please send one my way (handsome, youthful, and strong, with a dashing smile and a huge amount of love for You). AMEN
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Praise the Lord that you are ready to find a man who will support you in your pie making but will send you to Heaven for being a mother! I'm sure that between Sister Daisy, your parents, myself, and the other lovely ladies of Landover, we can find someone marrying you!
"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Women Can't Be Trusted -
04-12-2015, 10:37 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins
Well I suppose I can't argue with that.
My ex-wife Ethel, who was mercifully executed by unknown True Christian™ vigilantes for crimes of a lesbian, pornographic nature, used to fornicate using bars of soap. I can think of nothing more perverse than masturbating with an inanimate object. Her story will constitute powerful testimony in Satan's case against humanity. I'm sure Christ's defense will be that she was only a woman. This is unfortunate for you few females who have a grip on the gospel, and do not rebel against the Holy Ghost by lathering the irreversibly unclean and accursed genitals that demons use as a gateway into the female anatomy.
It is easier for a murderer to repent than it is for some women.
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Brother, if Hillary wins the next election, the first thing she's going to do is sign a law that mandates women to fornicate using inanimate objects like soap, pickles, and strings of pearls. You mark my words.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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