The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. |
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 991
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: 1380 Apostle's Park Ct, Freehold
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Re: Hey there, I can count to potato! -
12-18-2014, 04:39 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustARetard
I've made a few posts, got a few infractions and figured I might as well stop by and introduce myself.
My name is Dave and my church is Lakewood Church. http://www.lakewoodchurch.com/Pages/Home.aspx
I used to hold Bible study as a child with the other children in the apartment complex and I would baptise them in the swimming pool. I tied their hands together and tied bricks to their feet to make sure they stayed down until they were really, really cleansed.
Matthew 1:1 (1611 King James Bible)
The booke of the generation of Iesus Christ, the sonne of Dauid, the sonne of Abraham.
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A warm welcome to you, Dave. Our Lord Jesus led you to these pages so that He could teach you through the good people of Landover Baptist all about His ways. The blessing that comes from fellowship with His people is one that few people experience in life, so you should praise the Lord for His gift.
My darling sister Elizabeth continues to make me proud through her virtuous example of what it means to be a gracious servant of Christ. I thank you for your kindness to her. Her husband Micky is a very good person; she has already become with child and is prepared to bring forth many sons for God's glory.
I join her in prayer for you; Christ's love is so worth the efforts that you will put forth for Him on this earth.
In the love of our Lord,
NRL
1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers." Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
Locations in 50 States and Canada
!Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 58
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: gone fishing...
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Re: Hey there, I can count to potato! -
12-18-2014, 04:51 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb
A warm welcome to you, Dave. Our Lord Jesus led you to these pages so that He could teach you through the good people of Landover Baptist all about His ways. The blessing that comes from fellowship with His people is one that few people experience in life, so you should praise the Lord for His gift.
My darling sister Elizabeth continues to make me proud through her virtuous example of what it means to be a gracious servant of Christ. I thank you for your kindness to her. Her husband Micky is a very good person; she has already become with child and is prepared to bring forth many sons for God's glory.
I join her in prayer for you; Christ's love is so worth the efforts that you will put forth for Him on this earth.
In the love of our Lord,
NRL
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Thank you so much for the kind words and the warm welcome Naomi. They seem to be few and far apart here. Your sister Elizabeth was also very kind and it was so very appreciated. Have a blessed evening.
Dave..aka JustARetard(I guess)
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,719
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: MAGA Country, USA
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Re: Hey there, I can count to potato! -
12-18-2014, 04:55 AM
I have a hard time keeping up with the satanists and Godmockers that come here to sneer and ridicule. Are you the sex change stealth homer, or someone else?
Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 58
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: gone fishing...
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Re: Hey there, I can count to potato! -
12-18-2014, 05:03 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Des
I have a hard time keeping up with the satanists and Godmockers that come here to sneer and ridicule. Are you the sex change stealth homer, or someone else?
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No. Sorry. You must have me confused with someone else.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,719
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: MAGA Country, USA
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Re: Hey there, I can count to potato! -
12-18-2014, 05:08 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustARetard
No. Sorry. You must have me confused with someone else.
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Well, good. That one sort of had me worried. If the idea of Lego-like build-a-genitalia ever catches on, the whole world might become accidentally gay from the actions of a handful of genitaliorists.
Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 1,330
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: In the kitchen
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Re: Hey there, I can count to potato! -
12-18-2014, 05:09 AM
Dave, I'd suggest reading your Bible. Also, my dear kind Sister Naomi is a lovely lady, but many unsaved suitors have tried to marry her. And unless you reach the level of a True Christian, she is completely unavailable. A lady like her deserves a man of high caliber. "Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies." Proverbs 31:10
"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 58
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: gone fishing...
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Re: Hey there, I can count to potato! -
12-18-2014, 05:15 AM
I see that someone has given me a "sissy cry baby" award. Thank you so much! It's a shame that it's not a level playing field though. Everyone here has their gloves off yet my hands are tied. It would seem you folks can give it but you can't take it..you just give out endless infractions, give people silly names, change their avatars to something stupid and edit posts to your advantage. How about you give me free reign and the power to give infractions for a while. Then we can see who gets the cry baby awards.
I'm pretty sure that won't happen and this is probably another infraction.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 1,330
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: In the kitchen
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Re: Hey there, I can count to potato! -
12-18-2014, 05:19 AM
I hope you remember my Christian charity towards you and you can accept this rebuke. You have been given this title, since you don't take this punishment like a man. Do you think you are the only one here who has had points detracted? I've lost points, yet I do not go over the Internet crying about it. I realize and repent over my error and apologize. I don't whine, like a sissy baby. God made us to be strong warriors for Him. We can't go crying. Also, I can only make a small difference point wise, and those that give heavier punishments have been here and have proven their worth as True Christians. My title pretty much recognizes I'm on my way and working on becoming a more Christian lady.
Praying for you,
Elizabeth
"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,719
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: MAGA Country, USA
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Re: Hey there, I can count to potato! -
12-18-2014, 05:34 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustARetard
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Now see here young lady. The moderators here are church appointed, fully vetted, and of the utmost upstanding character. You would be hard pressed to find more fair and impartial moderators anywhere on the interweb. If you have been lovingly reprimanded with a minor badge of shame, know that it is for your own good. Learn from the experience and you may yet find yourself on the path of True Christianity™.
Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,223
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Thong-infested Florida©
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Re: Hey there, I can count to potato! -
12-18-2014, 05:38 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustARetard
I see that someone has given me a "sissy cry baby" award. Thank you so much! It's a shame that it's not a level playing field though. Everyone here has their gloves off yet my hands are tied. It would seem you folks can give it but you can't take it..you just give out endless infractions, give people silly names, change their avatars to something stupid and edit posts to your advantage. How about you give me free reign and the power to give infractions for a while. Then we can see who gets the cry baby awards.
I'm pretty sure that won't happen and this is probably another infraction.
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Please tell me you see the sublime irony in crying about a crybaby award.
YiC,
Zech
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Hey there, I can count to potato! -
12-18-2014, 05:45 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustARetard
I see that someone has given me a "sissy cry baby" award. Thank you so much! It's a shame that it's not a level playing field though. Everyone here has their gloves off yet my hands are tied. It would seem you folks can give it but you can't take it..you just give out endless infractions, give people silly names, change their avatars to something stupid and edit posts to your advantage. How about you give me free reign and the power to give infractions for a while. Then we can see who gets the cry baby awards.
I'm pretty sure that won't happen and this is probably another infraction.
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Get Jesus or GET OUT!
Quote:
Luke 9:5 And whosoever will not receive you, when ye go out of that city, shake off the very dust from your feet for a testimony against them.
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Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,716
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In the midst of His Will®
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Re: Hey there, I can count to potato! -
12-18-2014, 07:17 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustARetard
Thank you so much for the kind words and the warm welcome Naomi. They seem to be few and far apart here. Your sister Elizabeth was also very kind and it was so very appreciated. Have a blessed evening.
Dave..aka JustARetard(I guess)
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Enjoy being mollycoddled by the ladies of Landover, do you? Believe me, these naïve women have no idea of the dwarfed horror that stirs in your filthy diaper each time they fuss over you. How dare you manipulate their mothering instinct for your own perverse sexual gratification! I'm going to call you JustDepraved from now until your banishment.
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Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology) Victim of atheist scientific persecution
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Posts: 10,328
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
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Re: Hey there, I can count to potato! -
12-18-2014, 09:27 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustARetard
I see that someone has given me a "sissy cry baby" award. Thank you so much! It's a shame that it's not a level playing field though. Everyone here has their gloves off yet my hands are tied. It would seem you folks can give it but you can't take it..you just give out endless infractions, give people silly names, change their avatars to something stupid and edit posts to your advantage. How about you give me free reign and the power to give infractions for a while. Then we can see who gets the cry baby awards.
I'm pretty sure that won't happen and this is probably another infraction.
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Dear Mr. Retard,
You apparently fail to appreciate the lesson that is the actual point of the situation you described above. You are receiving instruction similar to the plagues and smitings that God places upon those to fail to take heed to His words. You may not like it but it is nourishing, it strengthens you and can bring you closer to realizing your own depravity! It is a gift. As True Christians™, it is also our duty.
God did not give all men the powers to do anything. Only those who trusted Jesus and made His bidding were given these capabilities.
Mark 3:13-16
And he goeth up into a mountain, and calleth [unto him] whom he would: and they came unto him.
And he ordained twelve, that they should be with him, and that he might send them forth to preach,
And to have power to heal sicknesses, and to cast out devils:
And Simon he surnamed Peter;
As True Christians™, the are the Disciples of Today! It can be the same for you. You only have to behave, accept Jesus and follow all His commandments. We are doing all this to help you on this quest! We DO understand that you lack all discipline and have a deficient upbringing. It is not ONLY your fault but brought upon you by your parents and peers. There is a remedy.
Proverbs 13:24
He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.
As our discussion takes place in the Interwebs, also the rod is of the virtual kind. Loving chastening based on your faults. You'll understand us one day IF you gain access to Heaven, where you can laugh with us on the plight of the sinners in the Furnace!
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
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Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
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Posts: 9,051
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Surrounded by queers.
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Re: Hey there. -
12-18-2014, 12:13 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustARetard
I've ready through several introduction threads and random other threads on here and you are the only one I've seen that is actually polite to people on here. The others could learn from you.
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So now you show your true colours: yet another atheist troll comming uninvited to trample rough shod over our most cherished beliefs
1st Timothy 2:12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.
I'm proud to say that I have never learnt a thing from a single female.
YIC
1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.
Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 58
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: gone fishing...
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Re: Hey there, I can count to potato! -
12-18-2014, 11:57 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Des
Now see here young lady. The moderators here are church appointed, fully vetted, and of the utmost upstanding character. You would be hard pressed to find more fair and impartial moderators anywhere on the interweb. If you have been lovingly reprimanded with a minor badge of shame, know that it is for your own good. Learn from the experience and you may yet find yourself on the path of True Christianity™.
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Des, How can I get me one of those cool Confederate flag awards things you and Zech have? I really like that one.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 58
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: gone fishing...
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Re: Hey there, I can count to potato! -
12-21-2014, 04:35 AM
The story of my life...
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,719
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: MAGA Country, USA
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Re: Hey there, I can count to potato! -
12-21-2014, 04:42 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustARetard
Des, How can I get me one of those cool Confederate flag awards things you and Zech have? I really like that one.
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That flag is a symbol of bravery, honor, and defiance. It is the symbol of the nation God intended America to be. I earned my flag by proving to my peers that my values were the traditional God-fearing values shown by the valiant men who were willing to stand firm against the debauchery of the Federalists during the War of Northern Aggression.
Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 1,330
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: In the kitchen
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Re: Hey there, I can count to potato! -
12-21-2014, 04:08 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustARetard
Des, How can I get me one of those cool Confederate flag awards things you and Zech have? I really like that one.
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How many times must I tell you? You don't just get awards. They are earned, just like your place in heaven, which you have yet to attain. "And these shall go away into everlasting punishment: but the righteous into life eternal." Matthew 25:46
"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 1,330
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: In the kitchen
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Re: Hey there. -
12-21-2014, 04:10 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr Laurence Niles
So now you show your true colours: yet another atheist troll comming uninvited to trample rough shod over our most cherished beliefs
1st Timothy 2:12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.
I'm proud to say that I have never learnt a thing from a single female.
YIC
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Dr. Niles, I praise the Lord for good men like you who are undeterred by your strength in ignoring us silly women and your correction to us when we do not obey the Lord. Also, Unsaved, this is the way things work here, and I believe strongly in it, as a woman!
"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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