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Default HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS SON OF GOD! - 12-25-2017, 04:28 AM



Yes! I Love You! I Love You! I Love You more than my own life! I love you more than my children and would sacrifice them on an altar if you asked. Some with less hesitation than others. You know who they are. Thank you for them, but most importantly, Happy Birthday!


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Love Jesus Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS SON OF GOD! - 12-25-2017, 06:22 AM

Bless me! You may double your efforts of Worship and Praise on my special day!



Blessed is Me.
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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS SON OF GOD! - 12-25-2017, 11:07 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesus View Post
Bless me! You may double your efforts of Worship and Praise on my special day!

Oh Lord, how I always so look forwards to this very special day every year when you were definitely born!

I bet you have some fond memories of the time when that star got blown up and all the planets around it disintergrated so that you could be sure to get your birthday gifts

Will this year be the year that the gaywise finally stop riding bicycles, talking in loud voices and choosing to be attracted to each other?

It’s getting beyond a joke.

YIY


1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Guns Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS SON OF GOD! - 12-25-2017, 12:29 PM

Happy Birthday, Pal! I'm gonna keep my promise and I can assure you that this is gonna be the year when our enemies really start to tremble!



Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS SON OF GOD! - 12-26-2017, 03:39 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Happy Birthday, Pal! I'm gonna keep my promise and I can assure you that this is gonna be the year when our enemies really start to tremble!

Looking back on 2017, it seems to me we here at LBC were too easy on atheists/liberals/homosexuals. In 2018 we need to ramp it up.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS SON OF GOD! - 12-26-2017, 03:43 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
Looking back on 2017, it seems to me we here at LBC were too easy on atheists/liberals/homosexuals. In 2018 we need to ramp it up.
I agree. I believe that would honor Jesus and make Him happy. What better Birthday Present could there be?


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

 

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