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Default Re: ASK JESUS! POSE YOUR AD 2016 QUESTIONS HERE! - 12-21-2016, 07:49 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey View Post
Hello Jesus and welcome back! We all long for the day when we will be in Your Divine Presence for all eternity.

My question relates to what Luke 18:17 quotes you as saying:

Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child shall in no wise enter therein.

Did Luke quote you correctly and, if so, does this mean that we should simply ignore the hordes of adult Unsaved Trash who come here to persecute us, on the grounds that they are already damned?

Lovingly Yours in You ,
Joanna
Luke just wrote down what I dicatated. The duty of a child is to obey and if you fail to do that, you won't enter. I had lots of fun dictating Luke the genealogies and demaning he write all the names correctly. There was no eraser available those days and he had to start over 70 times 7 to get it right! Those were good days. Bless me!


Blessed is Me.
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Default Re: ASK JESUS! POSE YOUR AD 2016 QUESTIONS HERE! - 12-21-2016, 07:51 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
Welcome back Jesus! We LOVE you!!!




My question is, if one of my kids accidentally received the new board game Santa V. Jesus, would it be it a sin to play?
I love me, too! I wish you fought Santa on this Forum where he's been running amok! As for the game you mentioned, I play it all the time and I always win! Bless me!


Blessed is Me.
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Mooselimb Re: ASK JESUS! POSE YOUR AD 2016 QUESTIONS HERE! - 12-21-2016, 07:55 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Michael Hezekiah Esq View Post
Shalom, Jesus.
I already posted my question in the 2015 area but I'll repeat it:

Why didn't you take all the help YOUR PEOPLE, the JEWS, offered you back when you walked on the earth? Of course, you're dead so I don't expect an answer. You could have lived a much longer life had you just did as we requested: lay low, stop the whole god complex thing, and continue the excellent teaching and speechmaking that was your best suit. You took the lazy way out and chose death just to save face.
You know I have a special section in Hell reserved for your people because you killed me! Your "help"? Why would I have needed any help? Everything went according to the plan we'd designed with Dad! I had to die for a short while on the cross to save your sorry asses from Hellfire and this is how you thank me? Still doubting my existence? If I had not Created you, I'd just discard you into Hell come Rapture. Wait! I'm gonna do that anyway.


Blessed is Me.
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Default Re: ASK JESUS! POSE YOUR AD 2016 QUESTIONS HERE! - 12-21-2016, 09:15 AM

Hello Jesus. It says on your reputation section "Jesus will sit at the right hand of Jesus himself come the glory". How can you sit at your own right hand? Thank.


"When thou goest out to battle against thine enemies, and seest horses, and chariots, and a people more than thou, be not afraid of them: for the LORD thy God is with thee, which brought thee up out of the land of Egypt." - Deuteronomy 20:1

I like this one. If change "the LORD thy God" to the spirit of Juche and "the land of Egypt" to Japanese imperialism, then it can be used to metaphor Korea's struggle against the Western powers.
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Sinner Re: ASK JESUS! POSE YOUR AD 2016 QUESTIONS HERE! - 12-25-2016, 07:22 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marshal Kim Jong-un View Post
Hello Jesus. It says on your reputation section "Jesus will sit at the right hand of Jesus himself come the glory". How can you sit at your own right hand? Thank.

There is nothing my Christ cannot do, you heathen dictator. Feed your people! Give them free and unbridled access to the Interwebs! Recognize that you are nothing and that your self-imposed power means nothing when JESUS comes to establish His Kingdom on the earth. He'll do more than sit on His Right Hand! He will sit on YOU before casting you into the lake of fire.


Happy Holidays!
BrotherLarry


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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Love Jesus Re: ASK JESUS! POSE YOUR AD 2016 QUESTIONS HERE! - 12-25-2016, 07:28 PM

Dearest Lord Jesus,


I confess to You that I have sinned. I asked Santa for help but all He did was ignore me - kind of like Ezekiel does - and everyone else. (Except the horses. I always have the horses)


I hope You will be pleased with me during the upcoming year of 2017. Can you share some of what will happen in the new year?


Anyone you know getting married, maybe? Anyone moving to Iowa? Will Gwyneth Paltrow get an Academy Award in the next ten years?


What can I do to make you COME, LORD JESUS? We are all longing for our Heavenly Home. (John 14:2) (Rev. 22:12)
BrotherLarry


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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Marshal Kim Jong-un is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Marshal Kim Jong-un is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Marshal Kim Jong-un is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Marshal Kim Jong-un is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Marshal Kim Jong-un is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Marshal Kim Jong-un is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Marshal Kim Jong-un is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Marshal Kim Jong-un is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Marshal Kim Jong-un is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Marshal Kim Jong-un is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Marshal Kim Jong-un is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: ASK JESUS! POSE YOUR AD 2016 QUESTIONS HERE! - 12-25-2016, 07:34 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherLarry View Post
There is nothing my Christ cannot do, you heathen dictator. Feed your people! Give them free and unbridled access to the Interwebs! Recognize that you are nothing and that your self-imposed power means nothing when JESUS comes to establish His Kingdom on the earth. He'll do more than sit on His Right Hand! He will sit on YOU before casting you into the lake of fire.


Happy Holidays!
BrotherLarry
Friend, it is not my fault several North Koreans are starving, it is because for imperialist sanctions that mean I can not trade with many country to get food. Also, we all have internet, western government are censor North Korean IP address. If Jesus will real, then when I meet him, I will spit on him in the name of my dark master Satan.


"When thou goest out to battle against thine enemies, and seest horses, and chariots, and a people more than thou, be not afraid of them: for the LORD thy God is with thee, which brought thee up out of the land of Egypt." - Deuteronomy 20:1

I like this one. If change "the LORD thy God" to the spirit of Juche and "the land of Egypt" to Japanese imperialism, then it can be used to metaphor Korea's struggle against the Western powers.
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Jesus Re: ASK JESUS! POSE YOUR AD 2016 QUESTIONS HERE! - 12-25-2016, 09:11 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marshal Kim Jong-un View Post
Friend, it is not my fault several North Koreans are starving, it is because for imperialist sanctions that mean I can not trade with many country to get food. Also, we all have internet, western government are censor North Korean IP address. If Jesus will real, then when I meet him, I will spit on him in the name of my dark master Satan.

Instead of spending so much of the country's money on covering up the realities of the poverty that pervades every square inch of N. Kornea except Poontang, how about spending some money on developing farm lands to give people jobs, food, and an honest economy?


You, sir, have a lot to answer for when Christ Jesus, the KING of KINGS, returns in clouds of glory to separate the wheat from the chaff, the sheep from the goats, and the chickens from the, um, well the chickens from the other chickens. Woe to you! Woe, I say, on that day.


Have a super sparkly day!
BrotherLarry


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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Default Re: ASK JESUS! POSE YOUR AD 2016 QUESTIONS HERE! - 12-25-2016, 10:00 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherLarry View Post
Instead of spending so much of the country's money on covering up the realities of the poverty that pervades every square inch of N. Kornea except Poontang, how about spending some money on developing farm lands to give people jobs, food, and an honest economy?
Brother Larry, my husband says that you, as a horse dentist, are outside your area of expertise here. He points out that if the Marshal were to waste his country's money on the feckless poor, the bottom would drop out of the used and expired weapons market, and then where would we be?

YiC
Joanna

<On another matter, he asks if you do house-calls outside Freehold, as the children's ponies could do with a scale and polish. We are in England - do you have a passport? If so, I will send you a private message.>


Ecclesiastes 12:13

Let vs heare the conclusion of the whole matter: Feare God, and keepe his commandements, for this is the whole duetie of man.
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Default Re: ASK JESUS! POSE YOUR AD 2016 QUESTIONS HERE! - 12-26-2016, 01:26 AM

Hi Jesus,

As you are not mentioned in the Bible before your first coming, I have to ask, do yo have any other family or relatives there in Heaven, that we did not heard of? If the answer is yes, is one of them going to come as you did?


Is going to be a third volume of the Bible, before rapture? Again, I ask because there is no indication in the Old Testament of a New Testament to come, and in the New Testament I see no indication of a Post-New Testament. I wonder, then, if another one is coming.


And in the case someone is coming, could you please tell us how to recognize Him? The instructions in Matthew 7:15-20 are clear for bright people like my brothers in this forum, but for me are rather obscure (what is going on with the fruit trees? Every other chapter we have a fruit tree as an example, and I get confused) Nevertheless, they indicate how to recognize a false prophet, but not how to know one that is for real.


Thank you very much, I love you and obey you the best I can.


Your humble servant,


Brother Gonzalez


1 Thessalonians 4:16 For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the TRUMP of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first.
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Default Re: ASK JESUS! POSE YOUR AD 2016 QUESTIONS HERE! - 12-26-2016, 02:41 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marshal Kim Jong-un View Post
Hello Jesus. It says on your reputation section "Jesus will sit at the right hand of Jesus himself come the glory". How can you sit at your own right hand? Thank.
Me! Ever heard of omnipotency, little wannabe dictator? I am often asked if I can create a pint of lager so large that I can't drink it. I can, and then I can still drink it, and do drink it time and again and all this without being hung over. That's being omnipotent for you!

I use these paradoxes to test the faith of those who try to follow me and get to Heaven. You failed btw!

Of course, you can still repent and I actually do know if you will and if I'll accept it...


Blessed is Me.
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Default Re: ASK JESUS! POSE YOUR AD 2016 QUESTIONS HERE! - 12-26-2016, 02:51 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Horse Guy View Post
Dearest Lord Jesus,

I confess to You that I have sinned. I asked Santa for help but all He did was ignore me - kind of like Ezekiel does - and everyone else. (Except the horses. I always have the horses)

I hope You will be pleased with me during the upcoming year of 2017. Can you share some of what will happen in the new year?

Anyone you know getting married, maybe? Anyone moving to Iowa? Will Gwyneth Paltrow get an Academy Award in the next ten years?

What can I do to make you COME, LORD JESUS? We are all longing for our Heavenly Home. (John 14:2) (Rev. 22:12)
BrotherLarry
What'll happen next year? Mrs. Rogers in Indiana will make a wicked roast in June. Little Annie will learn to ride a bike. On September 9th the river Nile will deliver exactly 2,367,109,377.45 bucketfulls of water into the Mediterranean sea.

I know everybody, so everyone getting married next year is someone I know. For instance, Ira, Maggie and Miss Thanatopoulos will be marrying. Patsy will move to Iowa.

No. I might change my mind if she does a Left Behind flick that doesn't suck.

Be nice to Pastor Zeke. Go and measure the outflow of the Nile on 9 Sept and prove the heathens that I am real.


Blessed is Me.
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Default Re: ASK JESUS! POSE YOUR AD 2016 QUESTIONS HERE! - 12-26-2016, 03:00 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Gonzalez View Post
Hi Jesus,

As you are not mentioned in the Bible before your first coming, I have to ask, do yo have any other family or relatives there in Heaven, that we did not heard of? If the answer is yes, is one of them going to come as you did?

Is going to be a third volume of the Bible, before rapture? Again, I ask because there is no indication in the Old Testament of a New Testament to come, and in the New Testament I see no indication of a Post-New Testament. I wonder, then, if another one is coming.

And in the case someone is coming, could you please tell us how to recognize Him? The instructions in Matthew 7:15-20 are clear for bright people like my brothers in this forum, but for me are rather obscure (what is going on with the fruit trees? Every other chapter we have a fruit tree as an example, and I get confused) Nevertheless, they indicate how to recognize a false prophet, but not how to know one that is for real.

Thank you very much, I love you and obey you the best I can.

Your humble servant,

Brother Gonzalez
Why do you think I wrote Luke 14:26? My stepdad was OK as a Carpenter and used to hum Sha-la-la-la every time when using the lathe but an asshole with finances. It took him less than a year to lose all the gold and myrrh and invest them on some useless Roman aqueducts in Egypt. He lost everything in the crash of 2 AD. We were in Egypt ourselves and he never learned they had the Nile! While it was necessary to be born 'naturally' it also meant that Mom had to conceive with me her son and I couldn't forgive that. James is here somewhere, though and he throws a wicked party every now and then.

Volume Three is finished and it's called the Book of Life. I know you'd like to check if your name is in it.

Just ask Pastor Zeke.

Bless me!


Blessed is Me.
(#34)
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Marshal Kim Jong-un Marshal Kim Jong-un is offline
Unsaved trash, the singing dictator
 

Frenchie Liar Eurotrash Democrat Commmmmunnissss Glutton Mission to Korea Condemned Reaper Sinner Panda The AIDS 

 
Posts: 217
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Pyongyang, DPRK, not France, I have fake IP which currently say I am in UK
Marshal Kim Jong-un is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Marshal Kim Jong-un is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Marshal Kim Jong-un is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Marshal Kim Jong-un is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Marshal Kim Jong-un is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Marshal Kim Jong-un is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Marshal Kim Jong-un is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Marshal Kim Jong-un is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Marshal Kim Jong-un is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Marshal Kim Jong-un is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Marshal Kim Jong-un is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: ASK JESUS! POSE YOUR AD 2016 QUESTIONS HERE! - 12-26-2016, 07:07 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherLarry View Post
Instead of spending so much of the country's money on covering up the realities of the poverty that pervades every square inch of N. Kornea except Poontang, how about spending some money on developing farm lands to give people jobs, food, and an honest economy?


You, sir, have a lot to answer for when Christ Jesus, the KING of KINGS, returns in clouds of glory to separate the wheat from the chaff, the sheep from the goats, and the chickens from the, um, well the chickens from the other chickens. Woe to you! Woe, I say, on that day.


Have a super sparkly day!
BrotherLarry
Friend, I never spend any money on covering up North Korean poverty because for it is an upset reality. We have already spend many moneys on farm and healthcare and country benefit, however, we must also spend for nuclear weapon to defend nation from U.S. Imperialism, spending all money on nice things is nice, but not if you are dead from imperialist bomb.


"When thou goest out to battle against thine enemies, and seest horses, and chariots, and a people more than thou, be not afraid of them: for the LORD thy God is with thee, which brought thee up out of the land of Egypt." - Deuteronomy 20:1

I like this one. If change "the LORD thy God" to the spirit of Juche and "the land of Egypt" to Japanese imperialism, then it can be used to metaphor Korea's struggle against the Western powers.
(#35)
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Marshal Kim Jong-un Marshal Kim Jong-un is offline
Unsaved trash, the singing dictator
 

Frenchie Liar Eurotrash Democrat Commmmmunnissss Glutton Mission to Korea Condemned Reaper Sinner Panda The AIDS 

 
Posts: 217
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Pyongyang, DPRK, not France, I have fake IP which currently say I am in UK
Marshal Kim Jong-un is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Marshal Kim Jong-un is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Marshal Kim Jong-un is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Marshal Kim Jong-un is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Marshal Kim Jong-un is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Marshal Kim Jong-un is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Marshal Kim Jong-un is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Marshal Kim Jong-un is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Marshal Kim Jong-un is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Marshal Kim Jong-un is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Marshal Kim Jong-un is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: ASK JESUS! POSE YOUR AD 2016 QUESTIONS HERE! - 12-26-2016, 07:09 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesus View Post
Me! Ever heard of omnipotency, little wannabe dictator? I am often asked if I can create a pint of lager so large that I can't drink it. I can, and then I can still drink it, and do drink it time and again and all this without being hung over. That's being omnipotent for you!

I use these paradoxes to test the faith of those who try to follow me and get to Heaven. You failed btw!

Of course, you can still repent and I actually do know if you will and if I'll accept it...
Friend, I am not dictator, nor does I want to be. Sorry, but I can not be repent, my loyalty is to science, sorry again.


"When thou goest out to battle against thine enemies, and seest horses, and chariots, and a people more than thou, be not afraid of them: for the LORD thy God is with thee, which brought thee up out of the land of Egypt." - Deuteronomy 20:1

I like this one. If change "the LORD thy God" to the spirit of Juche and "the land of Egypt" to Japanese imperialism, then it can be used to metaphor Korea's struggle against the Western powers.
 

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