General Church Fellowship A place for True Christians to join in praise, faith and fellowship. |
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 41
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Topeka, Kansas
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Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! -
10-25-2015, 06:31 PM
We need to fight sin and self-defilement.
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! -
10-25-2015, 06:36 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Sally Bate
Blessed be those who rise above the temptations of the flesh.
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Amen, sister! As I always tell my children, you can't hold hands with if your hands are otherwise sinfully occupied.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 41
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Topeka, Kansas
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Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! -
10-25-2015, 06:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda
Amen, sister! As I always tell my children, you can't hold hands with if your hands are otherwise sinfully occupied.
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That is very sensible and wise of you.
I had to buy my nephew one of these, because he did not understand the severity of his actions.
I am convinced he is closer to heaven now that his bad habits have been curbed.
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! -
10-25-2015, 06:44 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Sally Bate
That is very sensible and wise of you.
I had to buy my nephew one of these, because he did not understand the severity of his actions.
I am convinced he is closer to heaven now that his bad habits have been curbed.
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Self-rape hurts so many more people that just the rapist/victim. Mostly, it hurts Jesus, and that breaks my heart. It also makes me very, very angry, and my boys know better than to cross me.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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True Christian™ Beauty Queen
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Posts: 5,447
Join Date: Dec 2007
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Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! -
10-25-2015, 08:42 PM
This ingenious device could have a dual purpose. If you prop the young boy upright in the corner, it could teach him what it felt like for Jesus while he hung from the cross.
Let Jesus Christ Wash You Clean
in 2016
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 41
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Topeka, Kansas
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Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! -
10-25-2015, 08:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by VictoryOS
This ingenious device could have a dual purpose. If you prop the young boy upright in the corner, it could teach him what it felt like for Jesus while he hung from the cross.
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That is genius! In the Sunday school where I used to teach, I would pass around a Styrofoam donut with toothpicks so the kids could see how Christ felt with his crown of thorns. Each child got to experience, first hand, the ecstasy of sacrifice.
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Guarding his purity against all comers
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,239
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: OzTrailer
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Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! -
10-25-2015, 09:16 PM
I have had a friend with one of those. He used it for his Retarded Mongoloid, Down Syndrome Daughter. What he did though was pull an old handle off a Golf Buggy and attach it behind the head of the padded Cross and used it so he didn't have to wheel a wheelchair into the pub when he met his friends for the daily Alcoholic-Booze-Up. It was too embarrassing, the wheelchair. He still has to show up with the spastic but he thinks it makes it a lot more manly.
Turns out he was a Catlick and ended up in some Heathen Satanic fellowship called Alcoholics Amoungus or Alcoholics 'R' Us or some Satanic named group. May both of them burn in .
He's back at the Pub again but screw him. He borrowed a can opener off me once and never returned it. I've killed for less than that (in the old days) and his freak daughter kreep'd me out big time. It looked like her eyes were always following me when I was shouting enthusiastic prayers at her to keep the evil away from me.
Thank God she's dead now. I still see those hellish eyes. Following me. Like it was a real child.
Artists rendition of Cross-Buggy
Ecclesiastes 1:18 - For in much wisedome is much griefe: and hee that increaseth knowledge, increaseth sorrow.
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True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
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Posts: 8,776
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Surrounded by heathens
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Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! -
10-25-2015, 09:44 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Back against wall
... and his freak daughter kreep'd me out big time, it looked like her eyes were always following me when I was shouting enthusiastic prayers at her to keep the evil away from me.
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That's quite a common catlick thing**, Brother Back (** though being a retarded would make it worse). I know this for sure because my husband explained it to the boys when one of them asked why that creepy Mona Liza picture keeps staring at you, even when you try to get out of its line of sight. The twins even did a proper experiment where they stood on opposite sides of the room to test it and it still managed to stare at both of them!
Apparently you see it in a lot of catlick "art", because the artists picked models from their own perverted kind and these people are so paranoid that they have to watch everyone all the time. It's not natural.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Back against wall
Thank God she's dead now. I still see those hellish eyes. Following me. Like it was a real child.
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I wish you hadn't said that. I shall have nightmares.
YiC
Joanna
Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! -
10-25-2015, 09:52 PM
While the very idea of fondling my genitalia in a manner that provides maximum stimulation to achieve the most powerful eruptions of my manly sex, I cannot get over what the sounds of the tens of thousands of dying babies must be like as their tiny lifeless bodies dry out on a tissue.
No, I let God take hold of my urges, producing offspring in my wife, Mrs. Hutchins. Do His deeds, no matter how distasteful.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Guarding his purity against all comers
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,239
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: OzTrailer
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Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! -
10-25-2015, 09:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey
Apparently you see it in a lot of catlick "art", because the artists picked models from their own perverted kind and these people are so paranoid that they have to watch everyone all the time. It's not natural.
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The Horror, the horror.
Ecclesiastes 1:18 - For in much wisedome is much griefe: and hee that increaseth knowledge, increaseth sorrow.
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
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Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! -
10-25-2015, 11:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins
While the very idea of fondling my genitalia in a manner that provides maximum stimulation to achieve the most powerful eruptions of my manly sex, I cannot get over what the sounds of the tens of thousands of dying babies must be like as their tiny lifeless bodies dry out on a tissue.
No, I let God take hold of my urges, producing offspring in my wife, Mrs. Hutchins. Do His deeds, no matter how distasteful.
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AMEN, Brother AMEN. All life is precious.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 185
Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: In my mum's basement
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Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! -
08-13-2018, 09:33 PM
I do want one of these shirts and I think they are great. But I am honestly wondering how long a male like myself must go without "M" until you think that I have earned it and can actually in good conscience purchase and wear one of these shirts?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daisy Mae Johnson
I have been very concerned about the amount of masturbation "M" threads here and the amount of "M" talk that goes around in this Satan filled World.
All True Christians know you will go to HELL for it and unsaved trash thinks it is "cool".
I wanted to do something to make a stand against "M'ing" and wanted to make a subtle statement that says it isn't cool and yet doesn't mention the "M" word.
So, folks I came up with this T-shirt. Hands off! This shirt will quietly and confidently set you apart from HELLBOUND "M'ers". When you see another True Christian with this T-shirt on in a crowded mall or even in another State while on vacation you will instantly know that he or she is part of the Anti-M club AND a True Christian (you can also give them a knowing wink because you will know you are part of thisv ery special HEAVENBOUND elite club ).
I have a feeling this T-shirt will really take off among the young adults.
Place your orders today.
SIZE:
__ XL (Qnty___) ____ L (Qnty___) M____(Qnty___) S___(Qnty___)
(Please keep in mind that these will be made in Brother Worthington's Malasian factory and may run small or contain lead.)
Please PM me with your Credit Card information and any special shipping instructions.
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Another brick in Donald´s wall - A.K.A "The Gonz" True Christian™
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Posts: 2,111
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Ungodly South America
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Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! -
08-14-2018, 12:32 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by bchas77
I do want one of these shirts and I think they are great. But I am honestly wondering how long a male like myself must go without "M" until you think that I have earned it and can actually in good conscience purchase and wear one of these shirts?
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One day at a time, dear. One day at a time.
1 Thessalonians 4:16 For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the TRUMP of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first.
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Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology) Victim of atheist scientific persecution
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Posts: 10,337
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
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Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! -
08-14-2018, 01:39 AM
It's so sad but ultimately boring to see this newcomer being so compulsive about self-abuse that he can't even write about anything else. Claiming to be a believer, it is clear that he cannot be. If he were, God would have heard his parayers and intervened.
John 9:31
Now we know that God heareth not sinners: but if any man be a worshipper of God, and doeth his will, him he heareth.
But, fortunately, Jesus always knows what is going on. With some True Faith®, He'd come to the rescue!
Unfortunately, Jesus always knows what is going in. Without 100% True Faith®, He'll make some radical solutions (John 3:18) regarding the final dwelling place of this sinner.
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 185
Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: In my mum's basement
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Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! -
08-14-2018, 01:51 AM
It seems that you have sentenced me to eternal hell, is that correct?
I don't know any other way to interpret your final statement to me.
"the final dwelling place of this sinner"
May I ask, please?
What is your definition of hell and what type of punishment will it be?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elmer G. White
It's so sad but ultimately boring to see this newcomer being so compulsive about self-abuse that he can't even write about anything else. Claiming to be a believer, it is clear that he cannot be. If he were, God would have heard his parayers and intervened.
John 9:31
Now we know that God heareth not sinners: but if any man be a worshipper of God, and doeth his will, him he heareth.
But, fortunately, Jesus always knows what is going on. With some True Faith®, He'd come to the rescue!
Unfortunately, Jesus always knows what is going in. Without 100% True Faith®, He'll make some radical solutions (John 3:18) regarding the final dwelling place of this sinner.
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! -
08-14-2018, 02:09 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by bchas77
It seems that you have sentenced me to eternal hell, is that correct?
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It seems you have confused Brother Elmer with Jesus Christ Almighty Himself. I've worn dresses with a higher IQ.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 185
Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: In my mum's basement
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Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! -
08-14-2018, 02:42 AM
You have done it this time, you have really set me off. I cannot believe this. Now calling me stupid.
"I've worn dresses with a higher IQ."
May I ask, what on earth have I done to deserve this?
And what of all these infractions and now being labeled a pervert?
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Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
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Posts: 14,455
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
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Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! -
08-14-2018, 04:25 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by bchas77
You have done it this time, you have really set me off...
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More proof that you've never read the Bible.
Psalm 119:165 " Great peace have they which love thy law:And nothing shall offend them."
How about looking after that little oversight before you do any more opining on how to be a Christian?
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 185
Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: In my mum's basement
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Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! -
08-14-2018, 04:45 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Didymus Much
More proof that you've never read the Bible.
Psalm 119:165 " Great peace have they which love thy law:And nothing shall offend them."
How about looking after that little oversight before you do any more opining on how to be a Christian?
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I would never pretend to tell anyone how to be a Christian and I apologize if I have mislead any on this forum.
I am only human and yes I got angry and I do apologize. Above all else I ask God to forgive me.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 185
Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: In my mum's basement
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Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! -
08-14-2018, 05:10 AM
I went to the website and saw this article:
"Youth Pastor Announces that Masturbation does not make you gay"
I have to agree with him, how on earth does masturbation make you gay?
What scripture verse or verses support the idea that masturbation makes one gay?
Youth Pastor Announces that Masturbation is Healthy and Does Not Make You Gay
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Sally Bate
We need to fight sin and self-defilement.
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