HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN A seasonal forum to NOT celebrate Satan's birthday. |
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 39
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: plymouth
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Re: 2012 Witch Hunt! -
09-19-2012, 07:25 AM
haha ill pass i would be the one you guys prank
im just a troll atm :p
just curious about this one. have a nice day or morning where ever you are.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,364
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: 2012 Witch Hunt! -
09-19-2012, 09:09 AM
I will come, and with my i will have the latest Swedish technology, you are all welcome to try it if you want!
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 216
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: The Netherlands
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Re: 2012 Witch Hunt! -
09-19-2012, 09:43 AM
Quote:
I'm sure you all remember the rules, but I'll list them again for the new folks.
1. To prove a kill you must submit genitals, teeth, ears or fingers or toes to the Pastors if you cannot bring in the entire body.
2. Severely maiming will get you points, but it's not as good as a kill.
You will need a permit, they are now available in the Church Lobby. The cost is $4.25. If you are not able to afford the cost of a Witch Hunting Permit, please fill out a "Hardship" Form available from a Pastor and a permit will be provided for you free of charge.
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1: will do. are pictures also good? I doubt whether LIEberal dutch custom office allows them through
I wired the money (and some extra) for the permit. I hope I'll get it in time.
II Kings 2:23-24: 23And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head. 24And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.
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Former Mary Hailer who has seen The Light©
Forum Member
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Posts: 401
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Ireland, a Godless papist hellhole!
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Re: 2012 Witch Hunt! -
09-19-2012, 09:52 AM
How about a trip to papist Ireland, the two of us could team up and kill the men in frocks and the witches that cover their heads calling themselves nuns. There are also plenty of druids and druidesses here. More than enough to go around. Our whole west coast is unprotected and it it'll be easy to ship the remains out.
Matthew 10:34
Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
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Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
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Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
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Re: 2012 Witch Hunt! -
09-19-2012, 03:47 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by curiousboob94
whats a witch hunt and what do you mean by "capture"?
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What part of "hunt", "capture", and "kill" do you not understand?
Freehold is the only place in America where God's Law is enforced.
Exodus 22:18
Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: 2012 Witch Hunt! -
09-19-2012, 03:52 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liam the ex-drunk
How about a trip to papist Ireland, the two of us could team up and kill the men in frocks and the witches that cover their heads calling themselves nuns. There are also plenty of druids and druidesses here. More than enough to go around. Our whole west coast is unprotected and it it'll be easy to ship the remains out.
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I have actually hunted witch over in Godless Ireland. They're mostly gingers, but there's lots of them. And leprechauns are good eating.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Former Mary Hailer who has seen The Light©
Forum Member
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Posts: 401
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Ireland, a Godless papist hellhole!
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Re: 2012 Witch Hunt! -
09-20-2012, 12:47 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
I have actually hunted witch over in Godless Ireland. They're mostly gingers, but there's lots of them. And leprechauns are good eating.
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You should try leprehaun stuffed with sage, onion and pork, with an apple jus. Absolutely exquisite. Off course it wouldn't be complete without a side of mashed cabbage and spuds. My ex-wife used to make it for me every saturday night.
Matthew 10:34
Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
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Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
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Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
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Re: 2012 Witch Hunt! -
09-20-2012, 07:46 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liam the ex-drunk
You should try leprehaun stuffed with sage, onion and pork, with an apple jus. Absolutely exquisite. Off course it wouldn't be complete without a side of mashed cabbage and spuds. My ex-wife used to make it for me every saturday night.
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Have you ever tried leprechaun haggis? I had it once when visiting the UK. It was . . . disturbingly tasty.
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,364
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: 2012 Witch Hunt! -
09-20-2012, 08:00 PM
How does witches taste?
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Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
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Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
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Re: 2012 Witch Hunt! -
09-20-2012, 08:11 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ex-Viking
How does witches taste?
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If properly prepared:
Hot, yet bland.
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 216
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: The Netherlands
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Re: 2012 Witch Hunt! -
09-24-2012, 02:49 PM
Has one of the pastors received my payment? I hope I send it to the right account. I followed instructions via http://www.landoverbaptist.org/cards/
I hope the LIEberal dutch didn't block my payment due to the comment: "Beware gingers: Dutch witch hunt is on!". But I haven't got a blocking notice yet.
II Kings 2:23-24: 23And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head. 24And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 6
Join Date: Sep 2012
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Re: 2012 Witch Hunt! -
09-24-2012, 04:05 PM
Remember people who practice homopathy and those Quantum physicists are witches to.
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,729
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: 2012 Witch Hunt! -
09-24-2012, 04:10 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by death to witches
Remember people who practice homopathy and those Quantum physicists are witches to.
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Homeopathy is perfectly legitimate for a True Christian™. After all, to look at how it works objectively, one could only conclude it doesn't. However, the real homeopathic knows that between dilutions the container holding the liquid must be "succussed" (the homopathic version of being "banged" or "hit") against a leather bound bible. That's what potentizes the remedy.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 21
Join Date: Sep 2012
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Re: 2012 Witch Hunt! -
09-24-2012, 04:49 PM
I have built a cage to throw all the junior witches into that call at the house demanding trick or treat. When the cage is full I shall submerge it in the river, Any that survive are surely witches and shall be burnt in a massive pyre I have erected.
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Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
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Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
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Re: 2012 Witch Hunt! -
09-24-2012, 05:06 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oliver_Cramwell
I have built a cage to throw all the junior witches into that call at the house demanding trick or treat. When the cage is full I shall submerge it in the river, Any that survive are surely witches and shall be burnt in a massive pyre I have erected.
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Interesting idea . . . does your town allow for witch execution? I thought Freehold was the only place it was legal.
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 21
Join Date: Sep 2012
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Re: 2012 Witch Hunt! -
09-24-2012, 05:52 PM
I know that we have to abide by silly laws but did that stop our beloved brother Jeffrey Dahmer in his Godly quest to rid the earth of queers, God rest his soul.
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Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
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Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
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Re: 2012 Witch Hunt! -
09-26-2012, 09:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oliver_Cromwell
I know that we have to abide by silly laws but did that stop our beloved brother Jeffrey Dahmer in his Godly quest to rid the earth of queers, God rest his soul.
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Mr. Cramwell, Dahmer wasn't a Christian until he was in prison.
Meanwhile, there are no silly laws against witch hunting in Freehold! I can't wait for the big bonfire at the end, it's a great celebration, with fireworks!
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Warning: In case of Rapture, this account will be unmanned.
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Posts: 7,220
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: 2012 Witch Hunt! -
09-26-2012, 11:00 PM
This is the first year I am bringing the boys with me, we're using bows. It's a bit messier and they need to toughen up if they are going to be Soldiers for Christ.
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Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
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Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
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Re: 2012 Witch Hunt! -
09-27-2012, 01:27 AM
I'll be trapping in the "trap zone".
This year, I'm switching from bear traps to wolf traps. Last year, all I got was half a dozen feet.
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Former Mary Hailer who has seen The Light©
Forum Member
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Posts: 401
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Ireland, a Godless papist hellhole!
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Re: 2012 Witch Hunt! -
10-10-2012, 09:30 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer
I'll be trapping in the "trap zone".
This year, I'm switching from bear traps to wolf traps. Last year, all I got was half a dozen feet.
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What date does it start on again? I had a few in my sights yesterday but I didn't want to break any rules, so I let them live. I am tracking them though, I just want to get a head start on the veterans here.
Matthew 10:34
Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
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