Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow. |
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Extremely bad news, so lost and confused! -
05-19-2018, 01:32 AM
I think our Lord decided to punish me today, but I do not know why. Today my eldest child, Ethan, 15, said he needed to talk to me in private. He took me to his bedroom and closed the door, and told me he was a homer. I started crying, because I had no idea where I went wrong. I do not want this kind of sinful influence in my home, but I do love my son. I taught him about Christianity at a very young age, and even taught him to throw stones at homer couples when he sees them. I beat him when I had too, like any Christian mother would. Should I try to send him to conversion therapy? Or see if it is a phase that will pass?
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Re: Extremely bad news, so lost and confused! -
05-19-2018, 01:38 AM
Hello Pamela,
Your story touches me on a deep level, of course it's no surprise I too am facing similar Code Pink issues with my own boy, Mildrew. I've been told the fault lies with us women and that we have likely wrought the gay upon our boys through well-meaning, yet unintended coddling.
Of course, it would be best to wait for a man's advice, I suggest withholding your influencing female presence from your son effective immediately. We could even arrange to lock Ethan and Mildrew in a dark, windowless room together, and we schedule hourly prayer sessions together. We should not let them out until they've worked out the demons that have got hold of them.
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Re: Extremely bad news, so lost and confused! -
05-19-2018, 01:45 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DolliMoans
Hello Pamela,
Your story touches me on a deep level, of course it's no surprise I too am facing similar Code Pink issues with my own boy, Mildrew. I've been told the fault lies with us women and that we have likely wrought the gay upon our boys through well-meaning, yet unintended coddling.
Of course, it would be best to wait for a man's advice, I suggest withholding your influencing female presence from your son effective immediately. We could even arrange to lock Ethan and Mildrew in a dark, windowless room together, and we schedule hourly prayer sessions together. We should not let them out until they've worked out the demons that have got hold of them.
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Thank you, Dolli. That sounds like a very good idea. There are other details to this story, and I would also like to hear the rest of yours. I shall private message you. Have a blessed day.
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Re: Extremely bad news, so lost and confused! -
05-19-2018, 04:24 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pamela Smith
I think our Lord decided to punish me today, but I do not know why. Today my eldest child, Ethan, 15, said he needed to talk to me in private. He took me to his bedroom and closed the door, and told me he was a homer. I started crying, because I had no idea where I went wrong. I do not want this kind of sinful influence in my home, but I do love my son. I taught him about Christianity at a very young age, and even taught him to throw stones at homer couples when he sees them. I beat him when I had too, like any Christian mother would. Should I try to send him to conversion therapy? Or see if it is a phase that will pass?
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Dear Miss Smith,
Luckily for you, there are various programmes available here at Landover. Just submit an application to the appropriate party and I am sure that, if your son is suitable, he will get all the therapy he needs.
For further details I would suggest you speak with Brother Larry or Dr. Niles. They both have experience in getting rid of this perversion.
I will pray that the boy sees the light and refrains from riding the Hershey Highway.
YIC
TT
Isaiah 66:15
For behold, the Lord wil come with fire, and with his charets like a whirlewinde, to render his anger with furie, and his rebuke with flames of fire.
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Re: Extremely bad news, so lost and confused! -
05-19-2018, 04:52 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thomas Taylor
Dear Miss Smith,
Luckily for you, there are various programmes available here at Landover. Just submit an application to the appropriate party and I am sure that, if your son is suitable, he will get all the therapy he needs.
For further details I would suggest you speak with Brother Larry or Dr. Niles. They both have experience in getting rid of this perversion.
I will pray that the boy sees the light and refrains from riding the Hershey Highway.
YIC
TT
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Could you please tell me where to get an application and where to say it? Much thanks, Thomas
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Re: Extremely bad news, so lost and confused! -
05-19-2018, 05:02 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pamela Smith
Could you please tell me where to get an application and where to say it? Much thanks, Thomas
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Dear Miss Smith,
I know you are a woman and everything, but you could at least extend the courteousness to at least read my response to you. But there again maybe you suffer from myopia and were unable to read it properly. In the middle of my response, I gave you the names of two dedicated homer aversion therapists. If these two can't help no one can.
I will pray that you are cured of your myopia.
YIC
TT
Isaiah 66:15
For behold, the Lord wil come with fire, and with his charets like a whirlewinde, to render his anger with furie, and his rebuke with flames of fire.
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South of the Border outreach program True Christian™
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Re: Extremely bad news, so lost and confused! -
05-19-2018, 01:58 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pamela Smith
Could you please tell me where to get an application and where to say it? Much thanks, Thomas
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First, dear, your extensive background checks have to be completed. We do have a bit of a back log in this regards since the secretary went missing. (Long story).
Hence, there is no need to bother with an application at this time. It's very unlikely a True Christian™ would engage with someone who, um, is not.
2 Corinthians 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
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Re: Extremely bad news, so lost and confused! -
05-19-2018, 04:18 PM
I don't have any children, but if I did, I would beat the gay out of him, and if that didn't work, kick him out of the house. That's the kind of stuff that you keep to yourself and do when you have your OWN home.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
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Re: Extremely bad news, so lost and confused! -
05-19-2018, 07:53 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa
First, dear, your extensive background checks have to be completed. We do have a bit of a back log in this regards since the secretary went missing. (Long story).
Hence, there is no need to bother with an application at this time. It's very unlikely a True Christian™ would engage with someone who, um, is not.
2 Corinthians 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
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Well said, Sister. Amazingly eloquent for a woman. It is indeed a shame that the secretary "went missing." It takes Faith like a Machine to understand what happened. A tragic set of events indeed.
I know people don't understand why the Lord does not want us unequally yoked; one would think it would be the other way around; but when I think of all the non True Christians™ who try to monopolize my time, it makes me shudder to think of all the sin that might rub off. No, I'd much rather associate with those who have been washed in the Blood of Jesus - that Blood that washeth white as snow. We purify one another, I think, when we limit our fellowship to those who believe as we do; those who have given their lives and their hearts to the Master - the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. What freedom it is to do everything He asks, in union with our Brethren.
May He bless you, Sister!
BrotherLarry
Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”
Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man. Amen and Amen
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Re: Extremely bad news, so lost and confused! -
05-20-2018, 03:05 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pamela Smith
I think our Lord decided to punish me today, but I do not know why. Today my eldest child, Ethan, 15, said he needed to talk to me in private. He took me to his bedroom and closed the door, and told me he was a homer. I started crying, because I had no idea where I went wrong. I do not want this kind of sinful influence in my home, but I do love my son. I taught him about Christianity at a very young age, and even taught him to throw stones at homer couples when he sees them. I beat him when I had too, like any Christian mother would. Should I try to send him to conversion therapy? Or see if it is a phase that will pass?
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We need to return to your original questions, what should you do? As explained by our True Christian™ members, Landover Baptist has programs that cure homersexuals. So far as we know, the cure rate is 100%. Enroll him now.
This might be a good time for some introspection. Science has proved male homosexuality is caused by mothers. When mothers are too dominate the son takes on desires for other males.
We here at Landover Baptist can help with that too. Perhaps some discussion here on your own mothering and homemaking skills would be a good place to start.
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Re: Extremely bad news, so lost and confused! -
05-20-2018, 07:12 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold
We need to return to your original questions, what should you do? As explained by our True Christian™ members, Landover Baptist has programs that cure homersexuals. So far as we know, the cure rate is 100%. Enroll him now.
This might be a good time for some introspection. Science has proved male homosexuality is caused by mothers. When mothers are too dominate the son takes on desires for other males.
We here at Landover Baptist can help with that too. Perhaps some discussion here on your own mothering and homemaking skills would be a good place to start.
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His father is 100% more dominate. His father has always taken him out fishing, hunting, etc.
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Re: Extremely bad news, so lost and confused! -
05-20-2018, 11:39 PM
Even more horrible news, I woke up today and Ethan was gone! I checked his Tumblr, which I found yesterday. I told him yesterday I would be marrying him to a fine young woman, and he started crying. On his Tumblr, it said he was fed up with me and that he was going away with someone to OHIO! It could be some fag, I don't know. I reported it to the police.
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