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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,438
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America! -
05-03-2013, 09:21 AM
Just when you think we are over the hippie plague that tortured our once proud America, all the drug addicts decide to follow a new cult: Hipsterism.
The sad thing is that there isn't even anything hip (new) about hipsters. Even though most hipsters are too stoned, too stupid or both to notice this, the term itself was invented during the 1940's jazz age. Some say it was a derivative of "hop", a slang term for opium, while others believe it comes from the West African word "hipi", which means "loves to have anal sex".
Hipster:
God clearly hates hipsters:
- All hipsters are omnisexual (have sex with men, women, children, animals and powertools), a clear violation of Leviticus 18:22, Leviticus 20:13 and Romans 1:26-27.
- All hipsters are lazy unwashed Obama voters, a clear violation of Romans 12:11, Proverbs 26:15 and Proverbs 12:24.
- All hipsters masturbate all the time, preferably on YouTube (more filth), a clear violation of Genesis 38:9-10, Matthew 5:28, 1st Corinthians 6:18-19 and 1st Corinthians 7:2.
Hipsters love crossdressing so they can have sex with anything:
Hipsters are destroying America! Innocent young children are seduced to leave the Church and worship Hipsterism instead. With a surprisingly ingenious 5 step program, all love for Jesus is eradicated and replaced by hate for God and anti-Americanism. There can be no doubt that Satan himself is using Hipsterism to fill Hell with lazy unwashed stoned hipsters!
From normal human to hipster:
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
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Re: How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America! -
05-03-2013, 09:32 AM
I don't know what a hipster is, brother. Is that the same thing as a homosexual?
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,438
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America! -
05-03-2013, 09:36 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins
I don't know what a hipster is, brother. Is that the same thing as a homosexual?
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It's much much worse, brother. A hipster combines all the bad qualities of a homosexual, a hippie, a pedofile and an Obama voter!
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Senior Pastor Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™ Always Biblically correct
True Christian™
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Posts: 10,667
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 13706 Levite's Sojourn Terr., Gibeah Hill, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America! -
05-03-2013, 12:43 PM
If you think that there is nothing wrong with the hipster deathstyle choice, ask yourself whether you want your sons to end up looking like this (ladies, please avert your eyes):
This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
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Christ's Battle Axe
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Posts: 2,777
Join Date: Dec 2006
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Re: How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America! -
05-03-2013, 06:58 PM
I'm told that most of these people aren't really "hipsters", they're just ironically pretending to be hipsters.
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Senior Pastor Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™ Always Biblically correct
True Christian™
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Posts: 10,667
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 13706 Levite's Sojourn Terr., Gibeah Hill, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America! -
05-03-2013, 07:51 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Virginia D. Templeton
I'm told that most of these people aren't really "hipsters", they're just ironically pretending to be hipsters.
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Well, good, then maybe they can suffer in hell ironically.
Or maybe not.
This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
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True Christian™ Brainiac
True Christian™
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Posts: 538
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Protesting the pride parade!
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Re: How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America! -
05-03-2013, 11:23 PM
Why don't they wash? Is it too mainstream for them?
Floppy haired fags.
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Christ's Battle Axe
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Posts: 2,777
Join Date: Dec 2006
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Re: How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America! -
05-04-2013, 12:09 AM
They wash, but they wash with sulfate-free local organic vegan soy soap that doesn't do a thing. Just makes them stink even worse.
I'm not one to talk, though. Just the other night I used some WWII-era soap that my father-in-law found while raiding Buchenwald. Talk about vintage! I have to say, I've never felt cleaner or more refreshed. I've got a few bars left, too, so let me know if you'd like to try it.
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Unsaved trash
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Posts: 40
Join Date: May 2013
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Re: How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America! -
05-04-2013, 12:33 AM
How can people live like this? They should be burned and tortured, please brothers and sisters, we should hunt them down like the Wiccans!
An Atheist, peace and love.
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True Christian™ Brainiac
True Christian™
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Posts: 538
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Protesting the pride parade!
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Re: How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America! -
05-04-2013, 07:21 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by CanadianDuck
How can people live like this? They should be burned and tortured, please brothers and sisters, we should hunt them down like the Wiccans!
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Please do not mimic us, friend. (Exodus 20:16)
I find your false Christianity offensive. Do you actually think it's clever to fake a Godly set of beliefs? You're not fooling anyone! We know and God knows. You can't avoid burning in hell by playing make believe, friend!
And hunting wiccans is no joke either! You might think it's all a jolly good laugh at our expense but there's nothing funny about killing witches:
Exodus 22:18 Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.
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Director of the German "Holy-caust" Evangelical Crusade Jesus macht frei
True Christian™
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Posts: 5,914
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Black Forrest, Germany
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Re: How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America! -
05-04-2013, 07:48 PM
I am PRO LIFE and hipsters are gone when Obama is GONE!!
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,742
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America! -
05-05-2013, 02:03 AM
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Posts: 14,666
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
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Re: How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America! -
05-05-2013, 07:39 AM
I'm calling raw silk/linen/wool blend fabric in at least one of those pictures.
And was that a rayon shirt teamed up with some polyester/nylon shorts?
Deuteronomy 22
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America! -
05-05-2013, 08:06 AM
I see those hipsters everywhere and to me they all seem like adults who dress and act like adult children. There is no difference between hipsters, furrys, or Bronys. They're all emotionally stunted adults who are obsessed with being children forever.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Posts: 14,666
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
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Re: How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America! -
05-05-2013, 08:15 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King
I see those hipsters everywhere and to me they all seem like adults who dress and act like adult children. There is no difference between hipsters, furrys, or Bronys. They're all emotionally stunted adults who are obsessed with being children forever.
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And goths.
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True Christian™ Brainiac
True Christian™
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Posts: 538
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Protesting the pride parade!
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Re: How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America! -
05-05-2013, 10:49 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor
And goths.
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And those emo fags.
Kids these days are all really just the same person which is ironic considering how hard they try to be subversive.
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Posts: 14,666
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
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Re: How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America! -
05-06-2013, 12:47 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SeekingEnlightenment
And those emo fags.
Kids these days are all really just the same person which is ironic considering how hard they try to be subversive.
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I doubt they'd even know what subversive meant!
Sure, as a teenager I was inclined to befriend others (regardless of age) who thought similar ideas and did similar things. I'm not claiming that they were good choices or that other people's ideas were not of some interest. Satan was in charge, as I now know, and he was experimenting with "dialogue" between different social groups. Clothing was compulsory at public venues, prowling husbands pretended not to see their prowling wives (although the ones I met usually pointed her out saying that's her over there, look what she's doing, and for some reason needed to lean on me to do that but most of them ate garlic) and whether or not I was ever seduced into degenerate wretchedness is beside the point.
It was a sort of giant melting pot. Pouncing hindoos, prowling husbands, mad Englishes, Japanese unusual metalwork, weirdo guitarists dangling gemstones, generally in an alcohol free environment (except drummers) and my point is that however stuffed with demons these abandoned maniacs had been they did actually do things.
We didn't care much about what we wore, some people were more fussy, but these gormless hipsters are all icing with no cake. I tried talking to a couple recently and got blank looks, sneers (very pathetic sneers, I could do much better), one group even asked "do you know us? do you know her? or him? so why are you talking to us?" In fact I was able to asnwer that question but then I realised: these people don't talk in words. They talk in phrases from a dropdown menu and don't run JesOS.
There were no bronies. Plenty of (I must say very halfbaked) furries, new-age crystaljunkies, perverts, swimwear models in a variety of sexes, and one goth (who must have bought the wrong ticket, last I saw of him he was yiffing with a purple marsupial I had to look that up when I got home it was even more revolting now than it is then).
On a brighter note our lovely material supplier who burned down is back up and here's a sample of one single fibre fabric, I strongly hope it will not appeal to hipster communitards.
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True Christian™ Brainiac
True Christian™
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Posts: 538
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Protesting the pride parade!
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Re: How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America! -
05-06-2013, 02:09 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor
We didn't care much about what we wore, some people were more fussy, but these gormless hipsters are all icing with no cake. I tried talking to a couple recently and got blank looks, sneers (very pathetic sneers, I could do much better), one group even asked "do you know us? do you know her? or him? so why are you talking to us?"
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Never fear though, sister, God knows them and I don't think he likes what he sees!
Personally I've always wanted to grab hold of one of those little fags, chop off all his ridiculous floppy hair and force him to eat every last bit of it. I'll leave the justice to God though.
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Posts: 14,666
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
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Re: How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America! -
05-06-2013, 02:27 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SeekingEnlightenment
Never fear though, sister, God knows them and I don't think he likes what he sees!
Personally I've always wanted to grab hold of one of those little fags, chop off all his ridiculous floppy hair and force him to eat every last bit of it. I'll leave the justice to God though.
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God will certainly have some torture lined up for those of these monstrosities who do not repent. He knows which ones will, having predestined them to do so, but gives everyone the choice even so. That's just how loving God is, EVERYBODY has the opportunity and the majority will know, therefore, just what the alternative had been when the arrive in HELL FOREVER. God already knows that.
But I don't. Thank you for encouraging my faith. The abominations (pictured above in differnt posts) have no concept of Jesus or the pain He suffered for them, even though He knew which people would reject His Wondrous Gift (especially cliquey little twerps who don't wash & eat garlic before leaning on you).
GALATIANS 3
25 But after that faith is come, we are no longer under a schoolmaster.
26 For ye are all the children of God by faith in Christ Jesus.
27 For as many of you as have been baptized into Christ have put on Christ.
28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.
KJV
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 1
Join Date: May 2013
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Re: How unwashed HIPSTERS are destroying America! -
05-06-2013, 09:38 AM
you know nothing of the demographic in which you speak of, fools. this land was created by god, he has asked us to harvest its resources for the greater good. marijuana is the true spread of gods word and through it men will turn into free thinking christians and not slaves of that high heeled mistress darwin.
tye-dye fabrics of neo-rainbow waves will cover the world like a warm blanket covers baby jesus. our agrarian landscapes and our flora and fauna will take on this blossom,
and the neo-hippies will run around in this new-age garden of eden in which god has planned.
save this natural environment. smoke it's natural herbs. god has asked it of you.
the hipsterism phase is the first of many converts into christianity, with there critical thinking ways they'll drop this trend of atheism and seek a branching path into something real and unknown, and with that comes DISCOVERY. SPREAD THE WORD!
Ezekiel 34:29 And I will raise up for them a plant of renown, and they shall be no more consumed with hunger in the land, neither bear the shame of the heathen any more.
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