Landover Baptist Lounge Relax, Kick your shoes off. Praise Jesus!!! (Blacks and Homosexuals strictly prohibited!) |
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
|
|
Posts: 17
Join Date: Feb 2011
|
|
Re: How can you tell a REAL American™? -
02-11-2011, 12:02 PM
a true american should question everything his or her government does in the hopes of improving it.
funfact- the lord is greater than you.
|
|
Ladies of Landover Senior VP One of the Truest Christians™ Ever Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 12,662
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Standing behind my husband
|
|
Re: How can you tell a REAL American™? -
02-11-2011, 02:06 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev.shields
a true American should question everything his DEMONcrat "government" does in the hopes of improving it.
|
There, NOW it looks right. There was something off about the way you wrote it...
|
|
Unsaved trash, blubber-eating eskimo
Under Investigation
|
|
Posts: 11
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Godless Denmark
|
|
Re: How can you tell a REAL American™? -
02-11-2011, 02:09 PM
A true american eats at McDonalds
A true american says "piffle what the majority of americans think, im right"
A true american doesnt know what the capital of Slovenia or any other country is
A true american is a nationalist (not patriot, although he might think so)
This space is reserved for the posting of KJV Scripture ONLY. --ADMIN
|
|
Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance Christ's Rottweiler
|
|
Posts: 22,727
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
|
|
Re: How can you tell a REAL American™? -
02-11-2011, 02:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by nord-olof
A true american eats at McDonalds
|
Search this site for McDonalds...
Quote:
A true american says "piffle what the majority of americans think, im right"
|
We are talking "The moral majority" here.
Quote:
A true american doesnt know what the capital of Slovenia or any other country is
|
Trick question, Slovenia is like Rumbabwe, Ruritania and Belgium - fictit ious.
Quote:
A true american is a nationalist (not patriot, although he might think so)
|
What's the difference?
|
|
Predestinated Servant of Jesus Christ by the Will of God True Christian™ Theologian
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 4,420
Join Date: Sep 2006
|
|
Re: How can you tell a REAL American™? -
02-11-2011, 03:00 PM
*A Real American™ enjoys the most advanced healthcare system in the world!
*A Real American™ sees nothing wrong with teaching Creationism and other theories on origins in the schools.
*A Real American™ owns oak furniture.
*A Real American™ belongs to a Church.
*A Real American™ likes corn on the cob, gravy and softball.
*A Real American™ can name his favorite black comedian.
*A Real American™ doesn't fret when he witnesses the poverty and decrepit conditions that characterize much of rural America.
*A Real American™ feels a tiny bit special when he uses his Diners Club.
*A Real American™ believes in technology, intimidation and speaking loudly.
*A Real American™ believes high corporate taxes prevent companies from creating new jobs.
*A Real American™ believes in a hand up, not a hand out.
*A Real American™ believes America is the land of opportunity, where anyone can rise in life, based on hard work and gumption, as, for example, demonstrated by our current President Barry Obama and by other coloreds, who have ascended to positions of influence, yet know they should keep in their place.
*A Real American™ believes the primary purpose of government is to protect private property.
*A Real American™ thinks Negroes black people smell bad.
I loved Newt before Newt was invincible
|
|
Senior Pastor Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™ Always Biblically correct
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 10,667
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 13706 Levite's Sojourn Terr., Gibeah Hill, Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: How can you tell a REAL American™? -
02-11-2011, 03:40 PM
- He is not the tiniest bit prejudiced. He will tell you with great pride about "my black friend" and "my Jewish friend."
- He understands the difference between taxes and revenue enhancements.
- He knows that the Tea Party will return our economy to the heights that it enjoyed up until January 2009.
This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
|
|
Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 18,555
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
|
|
Re: How can you tell a REAL American™? -
02-11-2011, 05:31 PM
- A REAL American™ is NOT gay.
- A REAL American™ don't need no flue shot
- A REAL American™ know the propensity of Left Coast is false because it comes from that regions more decrepitude.
- A REAL American™ is proud their grandfather served in the military in WWII
- A REAL American™ is not ashamed to pray in public.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
Hot Must ReadThreads!
Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
|
|
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
|
|
Posts: 34
Join Date: Feb 2011
|
|
Re: How can you tell a REAL American™? -
02-12-2011, 12:17 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zlyfire
Sure, but it was an AMERICAN general who lead the Allies in WWII. And look how it was, Europe was losing the war, we entered it, Allies won. World War 1, same thing. Europe was losing, we stepped in, we won it for them.
|
Yes, once America joined the war in Europe, General Dwight Eisenhauer was in charge of commanding the troops. However, the leadership of the allies was shared between Roosevelt (US), Churchhill (G , and Stalin (Russia). What I was disagreeing with was the way America was described as having saved the world "single handedly" which isn't accurate. It was a coalition.
|
|
Predestinated Servant of Jesus Christ by the Will of God True Christian™ Theologian
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 4,420
Join Date: Sep 2006
|
|
Re: How can you tell a REAL American™? -
02-12-2011, 12:54 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by wisseoldswami
Yes, once America joined the war in Europe, General Dwight Eisenhauer was in charge of commanding the troops. However, the leadership of the allies was shared between Roosevelt (US), Churchhill (G , and Stalin (Russia). What I was disagreeing with was the way America was described as having saved the world "single handedly" which isn't accurate. It was a coalition.
|
pfffft, It's a known fact that Churchill succumbed to Stalin's animal magnetism, and the two of them pursued a riotously un-Biblical affair. It took Eisenhower to pry Churchill off of Stalin's equator (Yalta ring a bell with you?) -- And Western Civilization was thus preserved, as a result.
I loved Newt before Newt was invincible
|
|
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
|
|
Posts: 34
Join Date: Feb 2011
|
|
Re: How can you tell a REAL American™? -
02-12-2011, 01:07 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Larry Lee
pfffft, It's a known fact that Churchill succumbed to Stalin's animal magnetism, and the two of them pursued a riotously un-Biblical affair. It took Eisenhower to pry Churchill off of Stalin's equator (Yalta ring a bell with you?) -- And Western Civilization was thus preserved, as a result.
|
I never knew True Christians engaged in sarcasm? Could you provide me a bible quote where God advises us to be sarcastic?
|
|
Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
|
|
Posts: 22,424
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
|
|
Re: How can you tell a REAL American™? -
02-12-2011, 01:18 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by wisseoldswami
I never knew True Christians engaged in sarcasm? Could you provide me a bible quote where God advises us to be sarcastic?
|
Sure: 1st Kings 18:27, Exodus 14:11, Proverbs 26:16, Proverbs 18:21, Judges 10:14, Genesis 4:9, 2nd Corinthians 11:19, 1st Timothy 4:7, 1st Corinthians 4:8 and 1st Kings 20:11.
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
Last edited by Cranky Old Man; 02-12-2011 at 01:30 AM.
Reason: Removed the second part of the list.
|
|
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
|
|
Posts: 34
Join Date: Feb 2011
|
|
Re: How can you tell a REAL American™? -
02-12-2011, 01:25 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man
Sure: 1st Kings 18:27, Exodus 14:11, Proverbs 26:16, Proverbs 18:21, Judges 10:14, Genesis 4:9, 2nd Corinthians 11:19, 1st Timothy 4:7, 1st Corinthians 4:8, 1st Kings 20:11, Romans 8:8, John 19:3, Zechariah 11:12-13, Ezekiel 2:6, Isaiah 47:12-13, Job 38:5, Job 12:2, 1st Kings 22:15-16, Judges 14:18, 2nd Peter 3:9, Romans 1:1-32, Acts 15:10, John 2:18-22, Amos 4:4, Ezekiel 34:4, 2nd Kings 14:9, 2nd Samuel 6:21, Judges 9:7-19, Joshua 17:15, Numbers 11:20, 2nd Peter 3:10, Galatians 6:12-13, Acts 26:28, Matthew 27:29, Matthew 23:34, Matthew 23:16-17, Matthew 23:1-2, Matthew 16:12, Ezekiel 34:1-6, Ezekiel 18:20, Isaiah 64:6, Isaiah 1:1-31, Ecclesiastes 9:10, Proverbs 22:6, Job 26:7, Job 11:12, Nehemiah 4:3, Nehemiah 4:2, 2nd Chronicles 25:19, 2nd Chronicles 25:18, 2nd Kings 18:24, 2nd Kings 18:23, 2nd Kings 14:10, 2nd Kings 1:1-18, 1st Samuel 17:28, 1st Samuel 11:10, 2nd Chronicles 6:30, 2nd Samuel 5:2, 2nd Samuel 1:1-27, Ruth 1:1-22 and Genesis 1:1-31.
I am surprised you overlooked all of those.
|
An interesting notion, I'd never considered such a tongue in cheek approach to the Bible. You're suggesting that the entirety of Genesis 1 was written sarcastically?
|
|
Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
|
|
Posts: 22,424
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
|
|
Re: How can you tell a REAL American™? -
02-12-2011, 01:29 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by wisseoldswami
An interesting notion, I'd never considered such a tongue in cheek approach to the Bible.
|
The verses at the start of my list are the most explicit. I made the list shorter now to make that more clear.
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
|
|
Ladies of Landover Senior VP One of the Truest Christians™ Ever Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 12,662
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Standing behind my husband
|
|
Re: How can you tell a REAL American™? -
02-12-2011, 03:38 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by wisseoldswami
I never knew True Christians engaged in sarcasm? Could you provide me a bible quote where God advises us to be sarcastic?
|
I'm sure you have the scripture on hand stating that sarcasm is a sin.
|
Thread Tools |
|
Display Modes |
Linear Mode
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved
|