Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > Landover Baptist Lounge
Reload this Page Heaven Bound Questionaire
Landover Baptist Lounge Relax, Kick your shoes off. Praise Jesus!!! (Blacks and Homosexuals strictly prohibited!)

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Jim C. Lombardo's Avatar
Jim C. Lombardo Jim C. Lombardo is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured

The Lord’s Witness Wound Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Langobard

 
Posts: 565
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Where God puts me.
Jim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Heaven Bound Questionaire - 09-02-2014, 07:31 AM

Jesus has called you home. St. Peter leads you by the hand to a desk where you must fill out a questionaire:

IT'S YOUR LIFE


Question #1: How many queers did you punch?



(Object: Answer the above question, add one to the list! Remember to re-post the entire list each time you answer! )
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Jim C. Lombardo's Avatar
Jim C. Lombardo Jim C. Lombardo is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured

The Lord’s Witness Wound Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Langobard

 
Posts: 565
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Where God puts me.
Jim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Heaven Bound Questionaire - 09-02-2014, 09:10 AM

I'll go first to demonstrate.

Question #1: How many queers did you punch?
6,050, not counting that tranny-bull dyke

Question #2
Take Thy Name in Vain? Yes or NO?


(Note: I decided to nix the rule about reposting the entire list. It's going to make the thread awfully long. Just answer the question and post the next, got it? )
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Mother Of Seven Mother Of Seven is offline
True Christian™ with a quiverful

Quiverful True Christian™ Heaven Bound Friend of Jesus Hatchet Child Rearing Award Touched by Jesus Cleanest Kitchen Best stoning bucket True Christian Beauty One Year/1000 posts In Love With Zeke True Heterosexual™ TC Bravery

 
Posts: 2,243
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: In the kitchen
Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Heaven Bound Questionaire - 09-02-2014, 10:33 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim C. Lombardo View Post
Question #2
Take Thy Name in Vain? Yes or NO?
Oh my Lord no, never!
Self-pleasuring?
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Jim C. Lombardo's Avatar
Jim C. Lombardo Jim C. Lombardo is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured

The Lord’s Witness Wound Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Langobard

 
Posts: 565
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Where God puts me.
Jim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Heaven Bound Questionaire - 09-03-2014, 12:54 AM

Self-pleasuring?
Only if it's pleasuring for Jesus.

Do you spread for Him?
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
Benedict A. Davis's Avatar
Benedict A. Davis Benedict A. Davis is offline
Winning Souls in his Winnebago
True Christian™

True Christian™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Silver Tither One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus Christian Love Flat Earth Tell her once Real American™ Persecuted Teabag Patriot Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award

 
Posts: 3,893
Join Date: May 2010
Location: travelling the heartland in my Winnebago.
Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Benedict A. Davis will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Heaven Bound Questionaire - 09-03-2014, 01:59 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim C. Lombardo View Post
Jesus has called you home. St. Peter leads you by the hand to a desk where you must fill out a questionaire: )
Who is this ST. PETER guy anyway? You have been long in the land of Heathens or a priest in lambs clothing.


1 Chronicles 16:15
Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.

Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
Jim C. Lombardo's Avatar
Jim C. Lombardo Jim C. Lombardo is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured

The Lord’s Witness Wound Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Langobard

 
Posts: 565
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Where God puts me.
Jim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Heaven Bound Questionaire - 09-03-2014, 04:06 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Benedict A. Davis View Post
Who is this ST. PETER guy anyway? You have been long in the land of Heathens or a priest in lambs clothing.
Brother, there is truth to your presumptions. I was raised once in a Cathylick-athiest household. It's difficult to explain how such a twisted background would be possible or that it turned me on the path of drugs and addiction before finding Landover, but you can read about it HERE.

I wouldn't be surprised if today still, I continue to suffer from my twisted origins.
Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
Faith_Machine's Avatar
Faith_Machine Faith_Machine is offline
Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™

True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Porn Resistant True Republican The Lord’s Witness Wound Pro-Life Ex-liberal Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Flat Earth Tell her once Guns, Guts and GLORY! Saved 1 Year Prayer Warrior TC Bravery True Christian Hotrodder Tagging for Jesus Paula Deen Negro Support Group Early riser Touched by Jesus 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Mission to Korea Anti-sodomy Mission to Messico Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Sheep Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Chili Chemtrail

 
Posts: 9,980
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Heaven Bound Questionaire - 09-03-2014, 04:30 AM

Well Jim, the first step is admitting you have a problem. I admire your courage. Now let's get every last bit of Papist demonism out of you once and for all. Why don't we schedule a nice prayer cleansing retreat for you? They're held in Pastor Zeke's cabin in the Ozark Mountains. Lovely this time of year.


WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
Reply With Quote
(#8)
Old
Jim C. Lombardo's Avatar
Jim C. Lombardo Jim C. Lombardo is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured

The Lord’s Witness Wound Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Langobard

 
Posts: 565
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Where God puts me.
Jim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureJim C. Lombardo has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Heaven Bound Questionaire - 09-03-2014, 07:00 AM

Amen, Brother Faith. I think several hours with Pastor Zeke in the faith healing sauna will sort me out!
Reply With Quote
(#9)
Old
Thomas Helwys's Avatar
Thomas Helwys Thomas Helwys is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS

 
Posts: 126
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Livingston Montana: God's Country!
Thomas Helwys has bribed people to get these reputation points.Thomas Helwys has bribed people to get these reputation points.Thomas Helwys has bribed people to get these reputation points.Thomas Helwys has bribed people to get these reputation points.Thomas Helwys has bribed people to get these reputation points.Thomas Helwys has bribed people to get these reputation points.Thomas Helwys has bribed people to get these reputation points.Thomas Helwys has bribed people to get these reputation points.Thomas Helwys has bribed people to get these reputation points.Thomas Helwys has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Heaven Bound Questionaire - 09-06-2014, 08:43 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim C. Lombardo View Post
Amen, Brother Faith. I think several hours with Pastor Zeke in the faith healing sauna will sort me out!
I've been there and trust me, it's not nearly as big and scary as you've heard it is!


Revelation 19:15-16 "And out of his mouth goeth a sharp sword, that with it he should smite the nations: and he shall rule them with a rod of iron: and he treadeth the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God.And he hath on his vesture and on his thigh a name written, King Of Kings, And Lord Of Lords."
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved