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Default I'm Worried About Pastor Zeke - 08-15-2016, 08:28 PM

What has happened to Pastor Zeke?

I used to touch base with Pastor Zeke regularly. A lot of money and other issues have passed between the Freehold City government and Landover Baptist Church. Right now there are pending deals, but no Pastor Zeke to move them forward.

I checked his hanger, the Boeing is gone. So is his favorite Escalade. No one admits to knowing his where he is or when he will return.

What I'm concerned about are his frequent travels to the Middle East. He has been going there to boost the moral of Christians who are being harmed by ISIS. We've all read about the murders and beheadings of Christians. Could Zeke be in harm's way?

So, I'm asking--no I'm begging. Please provide any information you have about our beloved Pastor Zeke.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: I'm Worried About Pastor Zeke - 08-15-2016, 09:42 PM

Mr. Mayor, I fear he may have been abducted. He is a powerful voice for righteousness in America and there is an election soon. The enemies of God and America may want him silenced.


God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
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Default Re: I'm Worried About Pastor Zeke - 08-15-2016, 10:49 PM

I didn't notice he was missing. My wife says that is because I always fall asleep in Church. All lies of course. Women lie all the time. Just look at Hillary Clinton.

Since the Boeing is gone I assume he is in some foreign country saving souls. I remember him being in Japan for years suffering those chinks day in and day out for Jesus. No wonder Zeke is God's favorite Pastor.

I will visit his house this afternoon to borrow some garden tools and see if his staff knows anything. They are not very good at speaking American but if I yell very loudly I am sure they will understand.


Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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Default Re: I'm Worried About Pastor Zeke - 08-16-2016, 12:11 AM

I've been thinking about it and I'm sure the Democrats have him. Maybe if we hire Bill Clinton to give a speech they will let him go.


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Default Re: I'm Worried About Pastor Zeke - 08-16-2016, 12:26 AM

Didn't he volunteer for that "First Person on Mars" thing? The way he was thinking, it was either prove what every True Christian™ already knows, i.e. that Mars is just a light attached to the Firmament (and this was a kinda sneaky way of exposing NASA's lies), or if it turned out Mars was really a whole new planet, he'd be the very first preacher there. Imagine all those Martian souls waiting to be Saved™.


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Default Re: I'm Worried About Pastor Zeke - 08-16-2016, 02:59 AM

Right before he dropped out of sight, Pastor assured me he was going to leave word with the church leadership that the unfortunate warning in my signature file could be removed, and that I would be returned to full True Christian™ status, which, naturally, includes lifting ALL restrictions on my ability to communicate with new members via Skype, personal message, e-mail, Face Time, or whatever.

So can we please get the ball rolling on that?

Thank you in advance for your attention to this very small, inconsequential matter, which Pastor has already issued a ruling about.


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