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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 991
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: 1380 Apostle's Park Ct, Freehold
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I Hope I Did the Brave Thing -
12-23-2013, 04:46 PM
As a properly raised young woman, I have always tried to be the epitome of virtue, meekness, and sweet femininity. However, when someone tries to harass my Mother, it makes me want to say words like darn! Someone from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints left a Book of Mormon on our doorstep last week. Mother showed it to Father, and he immediately cast it into the fireplace. Not 2 days later, a young man came to the door claiming to be a missionary. Mother, not realizing it was the person that left the false book of lies on our door, allowed him to enter. I emerged from my prayer closet just as he said something about plates and Palmyra and some nonsense about sealing a marriage in plastic wrap or whatever. Suddenly, righteous indignation came upon me and I rebuked this man in the name of Jesus. He stared at me with disbelief as I informed him that my house was a house of JESUS and he could take his Smith and Young foolishness back to Utah before I take out Father's Smith and Wesson. You've never seen a person ride a bike so fast in your life. I apologize if my actions were unladylike; I meant them to be brave and supportive of Jesus. I will go to my prayer closet for several hours if the Pastors feel I should.
1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers." Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,284
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Following The Rules
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Re: I Hope I Did the Brave Thing -
12-23-2013, 06:36 PM
I applaud your desire to protect your dear mother from the heinous spiritual assault she received from that bike riding minion of Satan. He was in the process of mounting her soul to rape it when you bravely came to her rescue.
I have always welcomed such minions into my home, and then I turn the tables on them. Armed only with my trusty Bible, I don't let them get a word in edgewise, as I fire Holy verses at them in rapid succession at the top of my lungs. Soon, such visits cease.
I Kings 7:23
And he made a moulten Sea, ten cubites from the one brim to the other: it was round all about, & his height was fiue cubits: and a line of thirtie cubites did compasse it round about.
New here? Desiring to be pleasing in the eyes of The Lord and His Followers?
Then do as directed by our esteemed Pastors and head on over to the Introductions subforum and make your first post there, friend. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. Anything else you want to share with us about how Jesus has blessed you is welcomed too.
Are you a hater of God that believes He is a morally bankrupt monster? Read Why, you ask, is God so angry? to see that it is in fact you that is the monster that mercilessly and infinitely torments God.
Stop this relentless torturing of God and accept Jesus today!
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,941
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: With Jesus
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Re: I Hope I Did the Brave Thing -
12-23-2013, 07:39 PM
Bless you, Sister. In the absence of your father, or any other True Christian™ man in the house, I really do not see what else you could have done. Someone had to protect your beloved mother from this outrage.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb
He stared at me with disbelief as I informed him that my house was a house of JESUS and he could take his Smith and Young foolishness back to Utah before I take out Father's Smith and Wesson.
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I only wish I had been there to witness the scene. I'm guessing that he had to send his magic underpants straight to the out-of-hours emergency laundry. Well done!
YiC
AW
2 Timothy 3:16
All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
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Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
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Posts: 9,051
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Surrounded by queers.
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Re: I Hope I Did the Brave Thing -
12-23-2013, 07:50 PM
A really brave thing would be to pluck up all the courage you have, pray for strength from Jesus and try using paragraphs.
YIC
1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.
Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Southern Hospitality Exemplified Always kind and loving
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,824
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: mostly at the Cracker Barrel
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Re: I Hope I Did the Brave Thing -
12-24-2013, 04:10 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb
As a properly raised young woman, I have always tried to be the epitome of virtue, meekness, and sweet femininity. However, when someone tries to harass my Mother, it makes me want to say words like darn! Someone from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints left a Book of Mormon on our doorstep last week. Mother showed it to Father, and he immediately cast it into the fireplace. Not 2 days later, a young man came to the door claiming to be a missionary. Mother, not realizing it was the person that left the false book of lies on our door, allowed him to enter. I emerged from my prayer closet just as he said something about plates and Palmyra and some nonsense about sealing a marriage in plastic wrap or whatever. Suddenly, righteous indignation came upon me and I rebuked this man in the name of Jesus. He stared at me with disbelief as I informed him that my house was a house of JESUS and he could take his Smith and Young foolishness back to Utah before I take out Father's Smith and Wesson. You've never seen a person ride a bike so fast in your life. I apologize if my actions were unladylike; I meant them to be brave and supportive of Jesus. I will go to my prayer closet for several hours if the Pastors feel I should.
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My dear girl, few women have the courage you displayed in rebuking that bike-riding spiritual hellhound like you did. And while a woman in general is to learn in silence and with all subjection before her husband (I Tim 2:11-12), she must, on such occasions when no Christian man is around, be called upon to rebuke the unsaved (I Tim. 5:20). From the sound of it, you did a fine job. No extra prayer closet time required.
Pastor Ed
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 49
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: In a cave with my coven
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Re: I Hope I Did the Brave Thing -
04-25-2014, 01:00 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Attila's Wife
Bless you, Sister. In the absence of your father, or any other True Christian™ man in the house, I really do not see what else you could have done. Someone had to protect your beloved mother from this outrage.
I only wish I had been there to witness the scene. I'm guessing that he had to send his magic underpants straight to the out-of-hours emergency laundry. Well done!
YiC
AW
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