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Head Attorney of Landover's Legal Team The Most Honest Lawyer in America
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,471
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: God's Good Side!
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PROOF: Witches With Demon Cats Are Real! -
01-30-2011, 02:32 AM
We all know that the Bible instructs us to stone witches to death. It even tells us to stone those who use "familiars."
Quote:
Leviticus 20:27
A man also or woman that hath a familiar spirit, or that is a wizard, shall surely be put to death: they shall stone them with stones: their blood shall be upon them.
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For those unfamiliar with familiars , here is a brief overview of what God means:
Quote:
[F]amiliar spirits, sometimes referred to simply as familiars, are supernatural entities that assist witches in their practice of magic. They appear in numerous guises, often as an animal, but also at times as a human or humanoid figure, and are described as "clearly defined, three-dimensional… forms, vivid with color and animated with movement and sound" by those who have come into contact with them, unlike later descriptions of ghosts with their "smoky, undefined form[s]"
When they serve witches, they are categorised as being demons. The main purpose of familiars is to serve the witch. The service the familiar would provide would be to protect the new witch coming into his/her new powers.
Due to their association with older forms of magic, in the twentieth century a number of magical practitioners, including adherents of the Neopagan religion of Wicca, have once more begun to utilize the concept.
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Get that last bit? Demon familiars are coming back in style! Many atheists scoff at such a notion while they chomp on their popcorn in a movie theater absorbing the latest Harry Potter propaganda. Well, sinners, have a look at this video of a mexican woman giving her familiar cat instructions. Then tell me we are crazy! CHECKMATE!
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Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
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Posts: 14,178
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: With my nose stuck in the Bible.
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Re: PROOF: Witches With Demon Cats Are Real! -
01-30-2011, 02:44 AM
Amen, brother. I cannot believe the way these people sat around laughing as that demon spoke! I was truly frightened for my life.
Do you suppose the demon was speaking in Aramaic?
Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.
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Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance Christ's Rottweiler
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Posts: 22,742
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
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Re: PROOF: Witches With Demon Cats Are Real! -
01-30-2011, 03:00 AM
We must destroy it with fire.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: PROOF: Witches With Demon Cats Are Real! -
01-30-2011, 03:17 AM
That thing gave me the heebie-jeebies. I'm going to announce at tomorrow's services that all cats are banned in Freehold.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: PROOF: Witches With Demon Cats Are Real! -
01-30-2011, 03:41 AM
The next door neighbor is a crazy cat lady witch and she has some evil cats, too. Evil witches and cats just go together. Sometimes when I'm driving home at night I can see their eyes in the dark, watching me.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Master of Biblical Study and Ancient Languages With Jesus now.
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,474
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Miniscule Ohio town about which nobody heard
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Re: PROOF: Witches With Demon Cats Are Real! -
01-30-2011, 04:01 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
That thing gave me the heebie-jeebies. I'm going to announce at tomorrow's services that all cats are banned in Freehold.
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Oh no. That is really disappointing news. I'll never be able to purchase a vacation home in Freehold considering I've become rather dependent upon my watch cat even if he does have black belts in karate and judo.
YiJC, BS
II Peter 1:4 -- Whereby are giuen vnto vs exceeding great and precious promises, that by these you might bee partakers of thy diuine nature, hauing escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.
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Re: PROOF: Witches With Demon Cats Are Real! -
01-30-2011, 04:19 AM
Most Wise Brothers; we have never stoned witches in my small community, we have always burnt them. I believe some of the elders have been turning a blind eye as of late, as there have been no burnings for almost two years.
Many fond childhood memories are had at burnings. The cozy warmth of the fire, the smell of fat bubbling on the wood and children roasting chestnuts warm the heart of even the most stern parent.
The screaming and writhing of the condemned only lasts a short while and we drown out the unpleasant noise with hymns.
I long for the days of my youth when there was a burning every month.
It warms the cockles of my heart to reminisce.
God be with ye, good gentlemen.
Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house: thy children like olive plants round thy table. Psalms 128 vs. 3.
Pekahiah & Kelaiah age 14, Gaius age 12, Dorcas & Dicklah age 9, Gomer age 6, Hagar age 3, Solomon Solomon Junior age 15 months
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Head Attorney of Landover's Legal Team The Most Honest Lawyer in America
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,471
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: God's Good Side!
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Re: PROOF: Witches With Demon Cats Are Real! -
01-30-2011, 08:36 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Goody Jerusha
Most Wise Brothers; we have never stoned witches in my small community, we have always burnt them. I believe some of the elders have been turning a blind eye as of late, as there have been no burnings for almost two years.
Many fond childhood memories are had at burnings. The cozy warmth of the fire, the smell of fat bubbling on the wood and children roasting chestnuts warm the heart of even the most stern parent.
The screaming and writhing of the condemned only lasts a short while and we drown out the unpleasant noise with hymns.
I long for the days of my youth when there was a burning every month.
It warms the cockles of my heart to reminisce.
God be with ye, good gentlemen.
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While I a not 100% familiar with the laws of Missouri, I am almost positive you have committed murder, which is just awful. God tells us to obey the government's laws. (Romans 13:1-4) How could you do such a thing? We True Christians™ are trying to change the government's laws to LEGALIZE stoning SO THAT we may enact God's Laws. If you have murdered someone, we will be obligated to report you to the authorities. Now, can you explain what you meant?
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Senior Pastor Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™ Always Biblically correct
True Christian™
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Posts: 10,667
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 13706 Levite's Sojourn Terr., Gibeah Hill, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: PROOF: Witches With Demon Cats Are Real! -
01-30-2011, 10:14 PM
We all know that lezbertarians tend to be witches and that they tend to have lots of cats. Coincidence? I think not.
This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
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Re: PROOF: Witches With Demon Cats Are Real! -
02-03-2011, 02:27 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gabriel Reproba
While I a not 100% familiar with the laws of Missouri, I am almost positive you have committed murder, which is just awful. God tells us to obey the government's laws. (Romans 13:1-4) How could you do such a thing? We True Christians™ are trying to change the government's laws to LEGALIZE stoning SO THAT we may enact God's Laws. If you have murdered someone, we will be obligated to report you to the authorities. Now, can you explain what you meant?
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http://biblia.com/bible/kjv1900/Exodus%2022.18
I believe I have received an infraction without merit.
Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house: thy children like olive plants round thy table. Psalms 128 vs. 3.
Pekahiah & Kelaiah age 14, Gaius age 12, Dorcas & Dicklah age 9, Gomer age 6, Hagar age 3, Solomon Solomon Junior age 15 months
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Landover Senior Outreach Touching Men, Women and Children with the Good News!
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Posts: 8,237
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Freehold Senior Estates
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Re: PROOF: Witches With Demon Cats Are Real! -
02-03-2011, 03:09 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Goody Jerusha
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It happens Sister. When I was coming to Jesus and letting Him come in me, there were times that I was infractionated.
Better not to dwell on it or feel sorry for ourselves. When you feel the self-pity, just look at what God can do for those that worship Him without question.
Focus on your love of God!
In Jesus Christ
Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."
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True Christian™ Televangelist Director of Fundraising and Tithing On the Look Out for Wife #6!
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Posts: 8,727
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: PROOF: Witches With Demon Cats Are Real! -
02-03-2011, 04:11 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Goody Jerusha
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No, the infraction was well-deserved.
Did you not read Romans 13:1-4 like Brother Gabe quoted to you? We as Christians are commanded to obey secular law.
Titus 3:1 Put them in mind to be subject to principalities and powers, to obey magistrates, to be ready to every good work,
Hebrews 13:17 Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you.
1st Peter 2:13 Submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord's sake: whether it be to the king, as supreme;
1st Peter 2:14 Or unto governors, as unto them that are sent by him for the punishment of evildoers, and for the praise of them that do well.
1st Peter 2:15 For so is the will of God, that with well doing ye may put to silence the ignorance of foolish men:
Stoning witches is (unfortunately) against the law, but we must follow the law. Please do not promote anything illegal on this forum. Thanks for understanding.
Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.
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Re: PROOF: Witches With Demon Cats Are Real! -
02-03-2011, 04:12 AM
Dear, kind, Brother Harold Porter, thank you for your correction. I have committed the sin of pride. Forgive me.
Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house: thy children like olive plants round thy table. Psalms 128 vs. 3.
Pekahiah & Kelaiah age 14, Gaius age 12, Dorcas & Dicklah age 9, Gomer age 6, Hagar age 3, Solomon Solomon Junior age 15 months
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
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Re: PROOF: Witches With Demon Cats Are Real! -
02-03-2011, 04:30 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
That thing gave me the heebie-jeebies. I'm going to announce at tomorrow's services that all cats are banned in Freehold.
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except Petal
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Master of Biblical Study and Ancient Languages With Jesus now.
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,474
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Miniscule Ohio town about which nobody heard
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Re: PROOF: Witches With Demon Cats Are Real! -
02-03-2011, 05:02 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daisy Mae Johnson
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
That thing gave me the heebie-jeebies. I'm going to announce at tomorrow's services that all cats are banned in Freehold.
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except Petal
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That does seem a bit drastic, forbidding all pussies in Freehold. What will the men do then?
YiJC, BS
II Peter 1:4 -- Whereby are giuen vnto vs exceeding great and precious promises, that by these you might bee partakers of thy diuine nature, hauing escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.
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Head Attorney of Landover's Legal Team The Most Honest Lawyer in America
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,471
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: God's Good Side!
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Re: PROOF: Witches With Demon Cats Are Real! -
02-03-2011, 08:13 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Goody Jerusha
Dear, kind, Brother Harold Porter, thank you for your correction. I have committed the sin of pride. Forgive me.
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I am happy to see that Brother porter was able to clarify my clumsy attempt to help you on your way to the Light of Jesus. SHOUT GLORY!
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Landover Senior Outreach Touching Men, Women and Children with the Good News!
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,237
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Freehold Senior Estates
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Re: PROOF: Witches With Demon Cats Are Real! -
02-04-2011, 01:27 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Goody Jerusha
Dear, kind, Brother Harold Porter, thank you for your correction. I have committed the sin of pride. Forgive me.
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Praise Jesus, my dear! Take the instruction of our righteous men of God in stride and learn.
In Christ
Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."
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