Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > Focus on Family - Christian Parenting
Reload this Page The Comedy/Abstinence Stylings of Keith Deltano
Focus on Family - Christian Parenting A place where parents can get good Godly advice on how to raise a family: how to properly administer corporal punishment, which movies to avoid, and more!

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default The Comedy/Abstinence Stylings of Keith Deltano - 03-19-2007, 01:33 PM

Praise Jesus Brothers and Sisters! There is a light at the end of the tunnel. With Godly Men like Keith Deltano visiting the secular schools of America, we can rest assured that our youth are getting educated in the manner of Jesus. Keith brings abstinence home to all the boys and girls! After hearing Keith your kids will NEVER want to fornicate!! GLORY!!

There are, of course, joos and homers out there who have unfairly criticized Brother Keith. I think we all know communism when we see it.

Quote:
Christian Sex-Ed Lesson Criticized

Comedian Spreads Misinformation, Fear, Group Says


Christian comedian Keith Deltano used fear, shame and misinformation to spread his message about abstinence to students at three high schools in Loudoun County this school year, according to a critique by an organization that advocates comprehensive sex education.

"We were concerned that our kids were not being given the right information to make good decisions," said Kathy Hawes, president of Mainstream Loudoun, which advocates for the separation of church and state.

The critique of Deltano's performance at Dominion High was conducted by the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States. It included criticism of his decision to demonstrate the ineffectiveness of condoms against HIV by dangling a cinderblock over a male student's genital area. The group said the drill gave a message of fear and shame and misrepresented statistics about condom failure.

Don't you just hate to see such a Godly Man persecuted like that? I know that I'll be keeping him in MY prayers.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Larry Lee's Avatar
Larry Lee Larry Lee is offline
Predestinated Servant of Jesus Christ by the Will of God
True Christian™ Theologian
True Christian™

1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 1st class Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Saved 5 Years Platinum Tither Saved 10 Years Real American™ Ribfest '02 Christian Love Heaven Bound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian The Lord’s Witness Wound Teabag Patriot Ex-liberal Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life True Republican Guns, Guts and GLORY! Trump of GOD Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Asked questions later

 
Posts: 4,420
Join Date: Sep 2006
Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: The Comedy/Abstinence Stylings of Keith Deltano - 03-19-2007, 02:25 PM

The best part is -- WE PAID FOR IT Brother Deltano is just one of the Godly Abstinence Educators, who our blessed governement has been shoveling dollars at over the past few years. I think we're getting our money's worth. Quick note -- Brother Deltano's not a homer or pedophile, is he? just asking, and I think you know why.


Newt

I loved Newt before Newt was invincible
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Bobby-Joe's Avatar
Bobby-Joe Bobby-Joe is offline
Landover Security Superviser
Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year Saved 5 Years True Heterosexual™ True Christian Provider™ award 2008 Witch Hunt Award Real American™ Ex-Mary Worshipper The Lord’s Witness Wound Tagging for Jesus Heaven Bound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers Ex-Masturbator True Christian Justice of the Peace Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Home Schooled Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Super Soaker Baptism Award Tell her once Silver Tither Gunfest '07 Christian Love Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior

 
Posts: 18,555
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: The Comedy/Abstinence Stylings of Keith Deltano - 03-19-2007, 03:59 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Larry Lee View Post
I think we're getting our money's worth. Quick note -- Brother Deltano's not a homer or pedophile, is he? just asking, and I think you know why.
Now Brother Lee, Brother Deltano was only trying to graphically illustrate a point about avoiding sin; sex is a gateway sin to homerism. It is well known that homers stimulate their partners by dropping cinder blocks on their tallywackers. As unbelievable as it sounds homers enjoy this. I have proof out it from my research. Remember the slide presentation I gave in Church about this very issue Brother Lee?

It starts by kissing girls and the next thing you know you are having some guy in leather droping bricks on you. It's that simple.



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

Hot Must ReadThreads!


Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Deaner's Avatar
Deaner Deaner is offline
Christ's Love Messenger
True Christian™

True Christian™ Long service medal, 2nd class One Year/1000 posts Christian Love Best Mullet Parking Lot Tither True Christian Provider™ award Ribfest '06 Punched the most queers The Lord’s Witness Wound Heaven Bound TC Bravery Ready for the Rapture Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian True Christian Hotrodder Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Flat Earth Tell her once The Lord’s Witness Wound Eats the Most Pork Eats the Most Pork True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Hatchet Child Rearing Award Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Persecuted Porn Resistant Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Tagging for Jesus Saved 5 Years Divorcee Super Soaker Baptism Award Real American™ Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Truck Stop Ministry Member Chariot of Fire True Christian Hotrodder Pastor of GOD Senior Pastor 4th Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 1st Year Bible College Long service medal, 3rd class In Love With Zeke

 
Posts: 5,978
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: A road of rocks and glass
Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Deaner will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: The Comedy/Abstinence Stylings of Keith Deltano - 03-19-2007, 05:13 PM

So let me see if I got this straight...

This guy is a Christian comedian who teaches our children abstinence by dropping cinder blocks on homer's choo-choo's? That is pretty funny; does he smack any of 'em around?
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
Larry Lee's Avatar
Larry Lee Larry Lee is offline
Predestinated Servant of Jesus Christ by the Will of God
True Christian™ Theologian
True Christian™

1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 1st class Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Saved 5 Years Platinum Tither Saved 10 Years Real American™ Ribfest '02 Christian Love Heaven Bound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian The Lord’s Witness Wound Teabag Patriot Ex-liberal Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life True Republican Guns, Guts and GLORY! Trump of GOD Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Asked questions later

 
Posts: 4,420
Join Date: Sep 2006
Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Larry Lee will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: The Comedy/Abstinence Stylings of Keith Deltano - 03-19-2007, 06:33 PM

OF COURSE! Those homers .. who can keep up with their endless variety of revolting sexual practices. Still, I'm confused. Is it the "cinder-blocker" or the "cinder-blockee" who receives the sexual gratification from this particular practice?


Newt

I loved Newt before Newt was invincible
Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
Bobby-Joe's Avatar
Bobby-Joe Bobby-Joe is offline
Landover Security Superviser
Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year Saved 5 Years True Heterosexual™ True Christian Provider™ award 2008 Witch Hunt Award Real American™ Ex-Mary Worshipper The Lord’s Witness Wound Tagging for Jesus Heaven Bound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers Ex-Masturbator True Christian Justice of the Peace Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Home Schooled Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Super Soaker Baptism Award Tell her once Silver Tither Gunfest '07 Christian Love Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior

 
Posts: 18,555
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: The Comedy/Abstinence Stylings of Keith Deltano - 03-19-2007, 07:34 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Larry Lee View Post
OF COURSE! Those homers .. who can keep up with their endless variety of revolting sexual practices. Still, I'm confused. Is it the "cinder-blocker" or the "cinder-blockee" who receives the sexual gratification from this particular practice?
My exhaustive research in homer practices indicate it is the "catcher", to use their terminology, who receives the pleasure, though one shudders at the level of depravity that one has to go to for this. Also the homer “dropers” seem to get their own, brutal, thrill. However we can be sure that Brother Deltrano experiences no such thing by threatening to abuse nubile young male tallywacker since he is doing The Lord’ Work®.

When a Christian has a young man writhing on the floor under him with the well being of the young man’s daddy stick in the Christian’s very hands the Christian only thinks of Christ.



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

Hot Must ReadThreads!


Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
H. Montague Worthington's Avatar
H. Montague Worthington H. Montague Worthington is offline
True Christian™ Entrepreneur
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year Saved 5 Years Saved 10 Years Christian Love True Christian™ Platinum Tither Real American™ Ribfest '05 True Heterosexual™ Long service medal, 1st class Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once TC Bravery Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life True Republican Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Anti-sodomy

 
Posts: 2,695
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Leviticus Landing Gated Community, Freehold IA
H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!H. Montague Worthington will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: The Comedy/Abstinence Stylings of Keith Deltano - 03-20-2007, 03:36 PM

It's about time there's a Christian comedian! What this country needs is some comedy that's clean, respectful of religion, and appropriate for family gatherings. Sure, Ann Coulter comes close, but she doesn't tell jokes so much as recite Republican policy talking points.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved