Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > General Church Fellowship
Reload this Page Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today!
General Church Fellowship A place for True Christians to join in praise, faith and fellowship.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Daisy Mae Johnson's Avatar
Daisy Mae Johnson Daisy Mae Johnson is offline
The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™

Best Pie One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Christian Love Best Pie Long service medal, 2nd class Cleanest Kitchen Saved 5 Years Platinum Tither True Christian Lady Best Pie True Christian Homemaker Real American™ Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Ribfest '09 Daisy Home Schooled Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound The Lord’s Witness Wound Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers TC Bravery Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor In Love With Zeke Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Paula Deen Negro Support Group Touched by Jesus Babysitter Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Pie Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Anti-sodomy Mission to Messico Hands Off Long service medal, 3rd class 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Mama Grizzly Pastor Ezekiel Aardvark Crown of Rejoicing BFF of Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! - 08-20-2009, 05:39 AM

I have been very concerned about the amount of masturbation "M" threads here and the amount of "M" talk that goes around in this Satan filled World.

All True Christians know you will go to HELL for it and unsaved trash thinks it is "cool".

I wanted to do something to make a stand against "M'ing" and wanted to make a subtle statement that says it isn't cool and yet doesn't mention the "M" word.

So, folks I came up with this T-shirt. Hands off! This shirt will quietly and confidently set you apart from HELLBOUND "M'ers". When you see another True Christian with this T-shirt on in a crowded mall or even in another State while on vacation you will instantly know that he or she is part of the Anti-M club AND a True Christian (you can also give them a knowing wink because you will know you are part of thisv ery special HEAVENBOUND elite club ).

I have a feeling this T-shirt will really take off among the young adults.

Place your orders today.

SIZE:
__ XL (Qnty___) ____ L (Qnty___) M____(Qnty___) S___(Qnty___)

(Please keep in mind that these will be made in Brother Worthington's Malasian factory and may run small or contain lead.)


Please PM me with your Credit Card information and any special shipping instructions.
Attached Images
 




Tweet me Here
My GODLY Bio Here
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Professor Bessemer's Avatar
Professor Bessemer Professor Bessemer is offline
Professor of Creation Science at Landover University
Double PhD. Theomathematics, Racial Science
Returned from 10 year South Africa Expedition
True Christian™

1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College True Christian™ Ex-Gay True Heterosexual™ Public Awareness Medal Protected by JESUS True Scientist™ Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year Born again virgin Ex-Slut True Republican Guns, Guts and GLORY! True Christian™ Eunuch. True Christian Hotrodder Pro-Life Flat Earth Saved 10 Years Mission Long service medal, 3rd class 2011 Witch Hunt Award Doctor Ex-Masturbator Real American™ Porn Resistant BFF of Jesus Christian Love TC Bravery Teabag Patriot The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Ex-Mary Worshipper Ribfest '09 Nuts for JESUS! True Christian Nerd Prayer Warrior Gunfest '14 Stamp of Approval Aardvark Cup of Jesus Kirk Cameron Fan Club

 
Posts: 2,991
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Returned from studying the negro in Africa.
Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Professor Bessemer will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! - 08-20-2009, 05:43 AM

Since they run small, you better put me down for a Men's Medium.


Professor of Creation Science at Landover Baptist University



Sodomites! Stop being gay TODAY!

Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. James 1:21
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Daisy Mae Johnson's Avatar
Daisy Mae Johnson Daisy Mae Johnson is offline
The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™

Best Pie One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Christian Love Best Pie Long service medal, 2nd class Cleanest Kitchen Saved 5 Years Platinum Tither True Christian Lady Best Pie True Christian Homemaker Real American™ Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Ribfest '09 Daisy Home Schooled Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound The Lord’s Witness Wound Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers TC Bravery Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor In Love With Zeke Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Paula Deen Negro Support Group Touched by Jesus Babysitter Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Pie Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Anti-sodomy Mission to Messico Hands Off Long service medal, 3rd class 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Mama Grizzly Pastor Ezekiel Aardvark Crown of Rejoicing BFF of Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! - 08-20-2009, 05:54 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Professor Bessemer View Post
Since they run small, you better put me down for a Men's Medium.
I'll put you down for one Mens size medium.

Thanks for joining the club!




Tweet me Here
My GODLY Bio Here
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
David Goldman's Avatar
David Goldman David Goldman is offline
(not a Jew)
True Christian™

Christian Love True Christian™ 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Ex-Christ-Killer Silver Tither

 
Posts: 700
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Landover University, Dept of Creation Science
David Goldman has bribed people to get these reputation points.David Goldman has bribed people to get these reputation points.David Goldman has bribed people to get these reputation points.David Goldman has bribed people to get these reputation points.David Goldman has bribed people to get these reputation points.David Goldman has bribed people to get these reputation points.David Goldman has bribed people to get these reputation points.David Goldman has bribed people to get these reputation points.David Goldman has bribed people to get these reputation points.David Goldman has bribed people to get these reputation points.David Goldman has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! - 08-20-2009, 06:14 PM

Ahh, if they only had a running shorts version of this! Such a Godly message that would be, front AND back.

I'll take a shirt anyway, and please make it XL. I like to wear one while swimming so that I don't attract the attention of homers. But if it too tight then it defeats the purpose.


_
_

Proverbs 27:17
Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.
Romans 1:20
For the invisible things of Him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse:
2 Timothy 2:15
Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.

___________________
Connect with me on:
Facebook -- Youtube -- Twitter
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
Bobby-Joe's Avatar
Bobby-Joe Bobby-Joe is offline
Landover Security Superviser
Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year Saved 5 Years True Heterosexual™ True Christian Provider™ award 2008 Witch Hunt Award Real American™ Ex-Mary Worshipper The Lord’s Witness Wound Tagging for Jesus Heaven Bound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers Ex-Masturbator True Christian Justice of the Peace Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Home Schooled Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Super Soaker Baptism Award Tell her once Silver Tither Gunfest '07 Christian Love Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior

 
Posts: 18,555
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! - 08-20-2009, 06:24 PM

Oh Sister Thumper is starting up her "Stop Ming for men series". GLORY!

Brothers, if you haven't seen Sister Thumper do this special ministry of hers you are really missing a truly Godly moment. Trust me listing to Sister Thumper's witnessing and your mind will be purged of any sinful thoughts of secular harlots and homors.



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

Hot Must ReadThreads!


Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
Dr. Warren Wierdsbe's Avatar
Dr. Warren Wierdsbe Dr. Warren Wierdsbe is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

True Christian™ 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Gold Tither Real American™ Christian Love Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian One Year/1000 posts Tell her once

 
Posts: 444
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Ottawa, KS, soon to move to Freehold, Iowa!
Dr. Warren Wierdsbe has bribed people to get these reputation points.Dr. Warren Wierdsbe has bribed people to get these reputation points.Dr. Warren Wierdsbe has bribed people to get these reputation points.Dr. Warren Wierdsbe has bribed people to get these reputation points.Dr. Warren Wierdsbe has bribed people to get these reputation points.Dr. Warren Wierdsbe has bribed people to get these reputation points.Dr. Warren Wierdsbe has bribed people to get these reputation points.Dr. Warren Wierdsbe has bribed people to get these reputation points.Dr. Warren Wierdsbe has bribed people to get these reputation points.Dr. Warren Wierdsbe has bribed people to get these reputation points.Dr. Warren Wierdsbe has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! - 08-20-2009, 10:15 PM

Sister, I am curious about this. I want to help you promote your Godly cause in any way possible, but of course the Mary Claire and Mary Therese keep me awfully busy in that area, so of course there is no temptation (and no energy) left to "M." May we still buy some T-Shirts?

If so, we would like a Men's XL, a women's L and a womens' M. Come to think of it, perhaps it should be a womens' M and a womens' S. Have you laundered these yet? How do they look wet?

In Christ,
Warren
Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
swartkrans's Avatar
swartkrans swartkrans is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 19
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Bay Area, CA
swartkrans is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! - 08-22-2009, 04:22 PM

Those are some ugly shirts.
Reply With Quote
(#8)
Old
Nobar King's Avatar
Nobar King Nobar King is offline
Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
Christ's Guardian
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ True Christian Provider™ award Ribfest '07 Christian Love Tin Tither Real American™ Cleanest Kitchen Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Hotrodder Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian True Christian Nerd TC Bravery Ex-liberal Ex-Christ-Killer Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Saved 5 Years Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life 20,000 posts Eats the Most Pork True Republican Divorcee Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Early riser Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Grammar Nazi Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Cup of Jesus Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! - 08-22-2009, 05:08 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by swartkrans View Post
Those are some ugly shirts.
They're supposed to make you not masturbate, not sex you up.


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
Reply With Quote
(#9)
Old
swartkrans's Avatar
swartkrans swartkrans is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 19
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Bay Area, CA
swartkrans is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! - 08-23-2009, 06:08 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
They're supposed to make you not masturbate, not sex you up.
Mission accomplished!
Reply With Quote
(#10)
Old
Paul the Foreigner Paul the Foreigner is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

Full of it How dumb can you get? Retard Posting

 
Posts: 145
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Godless Europistan
Paul the Foreigner has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Paul the Foreigner has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Paul the Foreigner has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Paul the Foreigner has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Paul the Foreigner has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Paul the Foreigner has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.
Default Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! - 03-02-2012, 07:56 AM

Dear Miss Johnson

I would join this Anti-Masturbation Club.
How to do it ?
Is there any term and condition, or something ?

thanks

blessings.


Romans 13:1 Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God.
13:2 Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation.
Reply With Quote
(#11)
Old
MitzaLizalor's Avatar
MitzaLizalor MitzaLizalor is offline
Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian Ready for the Rapture Heaven Bound Mission to Australia Christian Love Real American™ Friend of Jesus Flat Earth TC Bravery The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking One Year/1000 posts Best stoning bucket True Christian Lady Pro-Life True Scientist™ True Christian™ True Christian Artist True Christian Beauty Most Obedient Batman Shooting Survivor Kangi Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Early riser Nuts for JESUS! Touched by Jesus Color wheel Trumpette Anti-sodomy Hands Off 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 5 Years Stamp of Approval Tagging for Jesus In Love With Zeke BFF of Jesus God's chosen ones Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Grammar Nazi GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden Midget porn survivor Aardvark

 
Posts: 14,656
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!MitzaLizalor will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! - 03-02-2012, 08:17 AM

put me down for ½ dozen size 8's.

I have a question which you might be able to help me with. As you know, I have not always been a Christian and I'm still obliged to witness numerous perversions in connection with work. Recently at an "art" festival there were the usual M'ing kiosks but there was a new one this year: BODY ART.

One of the "adornments" on offer was a Prince Albert (some sort of piercing, I gathered) but what concerns me is that the picture in this heathen's poster was very similar to the one you posted.

In particular, this bit:

Name:  Prince Albert.jpg
Views: 3357
Size:  10.4 KB

What is a Prince Albert, and why would anyone want one?
Reply With Quote
(#12)
Old
Jack O'fagan's Avatar
Jack O'fagan Jack O'fagan is offline
With faith as immovable as the Earth
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Friend of Jesus Real American™ True Christian Caucasian Ready for the Rapture Porn Resistant True Christian™ Flat Earth Tell her once Ex-Masturbator Heaven Bound Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Christian Love 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts True Scientist™ Ex-Brit True Republican Ex-eurotrash Eats the Most Pork 3rd Year Bible College Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Saved 1 Year Prayer Warrior Hands Off

 
Posts: 4,779
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Body in England but HEART IN FREEHOLD!
Jack O'fagan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jack O'fagan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jack O'fagan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jack O'fagan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jack O'fagan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jack O'fagan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jack O'fagan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jack O'fagan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jack O'fagan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jack O'fagan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jack O'fagan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! - 03-02-2012, 09:04 AM

Daisy Mae, are the T shirts restricted to potential masturbators? A friend of mine is spreading the good news of Jesus among lepers in India. I was thinking that the T shirts would be great for the children. Maybe 'hands off' could be a fun Bible club for amputees?

YIC

Jack


Genesis 22:2 And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.



I know God wouldn't let me believe in Him if He didn't exist.
Reply With Quote
(#13)
Old
Daisy Mae Johnson's Avatar
Daisy Mae Johnson Daisy Mae Johnson is offline
The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™

Best Pie One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Christian Love Best Pie Long service medal, 2nd class Cleanest Kitchen Saved 5 Years Platinum Tither True Christian Lady Best Pie True Christian Homemaker Real American™ Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Ribfest '09 Daisy Home Schooled Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound The Lord’s Witness Wound Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers TC Bravery Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor In Love With Zeke Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Paula Deen Negro Support Group Touched by Jesus Babysitter Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Pie Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Anti-sodomy Mission to Messico Hands Off Long service medal, 3rd class 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Mama Grizzly Pastor Ezekiel Aardvark Crown of Rejoicing BFF of Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! - 03-02-2012, 08:24 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack O'fagan View Post
Daisy Mae, are the T shirts restricted to potential masturbators? A friend of mine is spreading the good news of Jesus among lepers in India. I was thinking that the T shirts would be great for the children. Maybe 'hands off' could be a fun Bible club for amputees?

YIC

Jack
Brother, how very thoughtful of you to think of these little sinners. I would be glad to donate a box of size small to them because it's the Christian thing to do.

However, does your friend know he is wasting his time because cripples can't go to Heaven?

Anyway, let me know where to send the T-shirts.

Kind, generous and helpful,

Sister Thumper




Tweet me Here
My GODLY Bio Here
Reply With Quote
(#14)
Old
The Lord's Sword's Avatar
The Lord's Sword The Lord's Sword is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
 
Posts: 179
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: on the path to heaven
The Lord's Sword has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.The Lord's Sword has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.The Lord's Sword has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.The Lord's Sword has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.The Lord's Sword has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.The Lord's Sword has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.The Lord's Sword has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.
Default Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! - 03-02-2012, 08:38 PM

I need to join this club immediately. While viewing Faith Machine's post: Bachelors, I've found some suitable brides for you! I took my pants off, the shorts I wear under my pants off, and had the key to my underwear out, before I realized God was watching me. I've been praying for the last 20 minutes. Please say a prayer for me also.


Exodus 21:20-21

20And if a man smite his servant, or his maid, with a rod, and he die under his hand; he shall be surely punished. 21Notwithstanding, if he continue a day or two, he shall not be punished: for he is his money.
Reply With Quote
(#15)
Old
Bobby-Joe's Avatar
Bobby-Joe Bobby-Joe is offline
Landover Security Superviser
Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year Saved 5 Years True Heterosexual™ True Christian Provider™ award 2008 Witch Hunt Award Real American™ Ex-Mary Worshipper The Lord’s Witness Wound Tagging for Jesus Heaven Bound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers Ex-Masturbator True Christian Justice of the Peace Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Home Schooled Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Super Soaker Baptism Award Tell her once Silver Tither Gunfest '07 Christian Love Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior

 
Posts: 18,555
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! - 03-02-2012, 09:05 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Lord's Sword View Post
I need to join this club immediately. While viewing Faith Machine's post: Bachelors, I've found some suitable brides for you! I took my pants off, the shorts I wear under my pants off, and had the key to my underwear out, before I realized God was watching me. I've been praying for the last 20 minutes. Please say a prayer for me also.
How is getting married going to help men to beat off the masturbation habit Brother Sword?

Keeping in mind Jesus is watching us men at ALL times may help.



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

Hot Must ReadThreads!


Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
Reply With Quote
(#16)
Old
HateTheSin's Avatar
HateTheSin HateTheSin is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
 
Posts: 60
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Georgia
HateTheSin has had a couple of people click the rep button.HateTheSin has had a couple of people click the rep button.HateTheSin has had a couple of people click the rep button.HateTheSin has had a couple of people click the rep button.HateTheSin has had a couple of people click the rep button.
Default Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! - 09-15-2013, 03:31 AM

I would love it more than anything to join. Masturbating reminds me of the scary, Christ-less life that I once lived. I want to become a member to prove to myself that I am above sin in every way possible, and to share with the world how filthy masturbation is.

Pleasure does not need to come from oneself if you receive all of the pleasure that you need by praising Him and knowing that by not doing this disgusting act, you are one step closer to Heaven.
Reply With Quote
(#17)
Old
Ph0enix808's Avatar
Ph0enix808 Ph0enix808 is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

Protected by JESUS

 
Posts: 140
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Godly America
Ph0enix808 has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Ph0enix808 has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Ph0enix808 has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Ph0enix808 has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Ph0enix808 has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Ph0enix808 has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.
Default Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! - 10-22-2015, 01:43 AM

I'll happily join

Men's medium
Reply With Quote
(#18)
Old
Sister Sally Bate's Avatar
Sister Sally Bate Sister Sally Bate is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

Divorcee Born again virgin Best stoning bucket True Christian Lady

 
Posts: 41
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Topeka, Kansas
Sister Sally Bate has had a couple of people click the rep button.Sister Sally Bate has had a couple of people click the rep button.Sister Sally Bate has had a couple of people click the rep button.Sister Sally Bate has had a couple of people click the rep button.
Rebuke Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! - 10-25-2015, 05:50 PM

Amen, Sister.

Keep fighting the good fight against unclean hands and souls.

Reply With Quote
(#19)
Old
Sister Sally Bate's Avatar
Sister Sally Bate Sister Sally Bate is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

Divorcee Born again virgin Best stoning bucket True Christian Lady

 
Posts: 41
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Topeka, Kansas
Sister Sally Bate has had a couple of people click the rep button.Sister Sally Bate has had a couple of people click the rep button.Sister Sally Bate has had a couple of people click the rep button.Sister Sally Bate has had a couple of people click the rep button.
Rebuke Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! - 10-25-2015, 06:31 PM

We need to fight sin and self-defilement.

Reply With Quote
(#20)
Old
Roberta's Avatar
Roberta Roberta is offline
Anti La Leche League Organizer
True Christian™

True Christian™ Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Christian Love Real American™ Ready for the Rapture Pro-Life True Christian Lady Virgin True Republican Most Obedient Super Soaker Baptism Award One Year/1000 posts True Christian Beauty Saved 1 Year Best stoning bucket Flat Earth Flat Earth A for Effort Teabag Patriot Hands Off

 
Posts: 1,807
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: VT--the Green Mountain State
Roberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Join the Anti-Masturbation Club Today! - 03-02-2012, 09:23 AM

How to spot a wanker:

There are people who claim they can identify a masturbator with one glance. It’s not magic, but solid human observation. Up to a half an hour after the act, the perpetrator’s face has several telltale signs. Facial muscles are far more relaxed than they normally are, minimizing the depth of creases and fine lines. On the other hand, the flesh of the cheeks and forehead is puffy and pink, flush with heightened circulation. There is evidence of fatigue everywhere, from a low hanging jaw to glassy eyes. This is compounded by a general guilt or nervousness as seen in the eyes and posture. It is the apparent contradiction of these characteristics– physically relaxed but psychologically bubbling with a shameful secret– that is the greatest indicator that someone has just masturbated.

More helpful information at:
http://christwire.org/2010/05/how-to...a-masturbator/


Come climb my mountains.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
masturbation = gay sex, slutpocalypse

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved