The Word© tells us in Genesis 3:16 that:
Quote:
Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee
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We can deduce from this passage that if Eve hadn't stuffed her greedy pork-trap with forbidden fruit, and hadn't maliciously tricked Adam into doing the same, that she and all her female descendants would never have had to violently force squirming, squealing, yoghurt-caked life from their unwilling clefts. Amen?
It is also made obvious by the same passage that being vigorously plunged (Lord be with us) by her husband's rod wasn't necessarily as painful as it should have been before her descent from perfection...
So, what were the mechanics behind God's perfectly rational curse? Why now so much agony wrought upon the offending gash?
My theory is that before the fall Eve must have had a cavernous orifice the likes of which will never be seen again by mortal man...thankfully. This would have allowed children to simply crawl out easily when they were ripe, with no pain to the brood-queen.
Also, the Lord must have originally blessed Adam with a ludicrously small (relative to Eve's gaping maw) penis, so that she would feel no discomfort even during the seeding process. God is Good!
I believe that after the fall, God rapidly shrank Eve's mammoth snizz with a resounding "SNAPP!!", while engorging Adam's pathetically stunted (compared to Eve's inverted monstrosity) pud to titanic proportions. Both afflictions would immediately satisfy the conditions of God's curse of pain upon all womankind. Praise be unto Him!