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Reload this Page Sweet Jesus Ice Cream - Finally a Brand Suitable for True Christian Households!
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Piece of cake Sweet Jesus Ice Cream - Finally a Brand Suitable for True Christian Households! - 06-12-2018, 04:38 AM

Exciting News! A new ice cream brand is making its way into the Godly U.S. of A. While this company originates in Godless Canada, it has lots of growth potential and - even more importantly - its franchise is firmly based on Biblical True Christianity™. It is called the...



Now, we can utter the Name of our Lord in vain (Exodus 20:7) but it is quite clear that this product was given us by our Lord to enjoy. Proof below:

1 Timothy 6:17
Charge them that are rich in this world, that they be not highminded, nor trust in uncertain riches, but in the living God, who
giveth us richly all things to enjoy;


I had the privilege of trying out this creamy delight while visiting the Godless Canada for the purpose of evangelizing. Sweet Jesus has shops in many major Canadian towns (not as important than even the tiniest American town but I digress) and at this very moment also in Baltimore, Godly USA. Now, I can hear you asking, is it Biblical?

1. Is Jesus "sweet"? Do we blaspheme if we call Him that? No, we don't! He is of sweet savor.

2 Corinthians 2:15
For we are unto God a
sweet savour of Christ, in them that are saved, and in them that perish:

Ephesians 5:2
And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a
sweetsmelling savour.


2. Children generally like ice cream, which is suspicious and might make them not hate their lives (Luke 14:26). Is this brand teaching them Biblical values? It is. Let us look at some of the advertisements of this company:



A chaste girl. No masculine clothing, no gender-confusion (Deuteronomy 22:5). And the company logo does include the lightning bolt that Jesus will use to smite sinners (Revelation 16:18) in the very near future (Revelation 22:20). Just a plain modest Caucasian girl ready to take on womanly duties of childbearing and servicing her husband. What about the boys?



A manly manchild! What other profession more masculine and free from fornication as the U.S. sailor? The boy also bears a cross to remember Sweet Jesus everywhere in the heathen lands that he may visit on his ship! The images are probably not tattoos and if they are, they are not inexcusable (Matthew 12:31) and can be removed by prayer (James 5:16).

3. The product? Is it Godly? In fact, it is even better! It has been designed to irritate the Catholics!



As you can see, it has the Petrine Cross depicted on the cup. The Cross of Peter is based on the Catlick tradition, not the Bible. No wonder many Catholics are outraged because of this product as it mocks them as it should. There is also the Pyramid and the Eye to remind us of the Egyptian Pagan roots of the Papist cult. Proof in an image as follows:



4. What about the flavors? Do they provide any Biblical material to chew on? They DO! Glory!



Red Rapture! Is the Rapture going to contain red things? Indeed, red entities will appear during the End of Times!

Joel 2:31
The sun shall be turned into darkness, and the moon into blood, before the great and the terrible day of the LORD come.


Revelation 6:4
And there went out another horse that was red: and power was given to him that sat thereon to take peace from the earth, and that they should kill one another: and there was given unto him a great sword.


There's also a Hella Nutella to remind the kids of the unpleasant alternative unless they repent and take their punishments praising Jesus! Praise Jesus!



Look at the image above! So True™. We should always eat as if the meal we're consuming were our Last Supper. Jesus will come any moment now. We need constant reminders! He'll come so quickly that the sinners won't even have time to cherish the moment His sword (Revelation 19:21) penetrates them and sends them into Hell!

Incidentally, the flavors taste quite good, too, I recommend the Lemon Coconut Cream Pie as I love Cream Pies, and the portions are large at reasonable prices. I urge the Freehold community to establish an outlet as soon as possible, although I do strongly suspect that this product will also be available once we are taken into the clouds (1 Thessalonians 4:17) and switch unto the Celestial Server!




Yours in Christ,

Elmer


2 Kings 18:25 Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



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Default Re: Sweet Jesus Ice Cream - Finally a Brand Suitable for True Christian Households! - 06-15-2018, 09:46 AM

That delicious! Do they do mail order?


"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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