The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. |
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Chloe Jones Introduction -
07-25-2014, 06:07 AM
Hello everyone my name is Chloe Jones. I am the daughter of Pastor Levi Jones. I grew up in the Landover Church with my Ma and Daddy. I have been one of God's children since birth. As a baby and up until I was about two I would sit in the cry room with my Ma. By the time I was five I was doing bible studies for an hour every morning.
Growing up my favorite story was 2 Kings Chapter 2 where 42 little boys are killed for making fun of Elisha. I like the story because it shows how much Jesus loves the people who worship him. I mean those boys deserved to die for many reasons, one being that they were playing instead of worshipping.
My favorite story now has to be Genesis 19:1-9 where Lot offers his two virgin daughters to be raped to help two angel men he sheltered for the night. I mean he is an example of someone who loves so much that he offered his daughters to be raped to keep the backsides of two immortal beings from being violated.
Up until a year ago I was home schooled so that I could focus on my Bible studies. Now I attend a public high school. It's a very satanic place. The teachers teach you evolution, I mean if dinosaurs were real don't you think the bible would say something about it? There are some kids with tattoos and others with these piercings they call "Snake Bites". I am sure it is code for some kind of cult. It doesn't really matter because in a few years I will be attending Oklahoma Baptist University.
Lastly, I would just like to say that I am glad my Ma got a job at the church because otherwise my Daddy would have had to sell me to provide the family. I'm sure some of you heard about or situation but Jesus helped my Ma get a job at the church and now I get to be here with the Lord himself and all his people.
Favorite Verse: Matthew 15:4 "For God commanded, saying, Honour thy father and mother: and, He that curseth father or mother, let him die the death.'"
I want to thank Pastor Zeke and my Daddy for the opportunity.
YIC ,
Chloe Jones
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Re: Chloe Jones Introduction -
07-25-2014, 06:31 AM
Hello dear and welcome. I must say I'm very, very surprised to see you here, not least because I had no idea that Pastor Levi even had a daughter. I don't think he has ever mentioned you.
Do tell us, what version of the Bible are you quoting from?
YiC
AW
2 Timothy 3:16
All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
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Gushing for Jesus
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Re: Chloe Jones Introduction -
07-25-2014, 06:39 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chloe Jones
Growing up my favorite story was 2 Kings Chapter 2 where 42 little boys are killed for making fun of Elisha. I like the story because it shows how much Jesus loves the people who worship him.
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Amen, dear! Our Lord deserves naught but constant, consistent, unhesitating worship and devotion! Why, if it weren't for His temporary sacrifice to the Lord God who is mysteriously also Himself for reasons that defy human understanding, we would all have nothing to look forward to after death than an eternity of constant torment, physical and emotional trauma, and agonizing suffering!
Chloe, I am so glad to see you grow in the LORD, a mighty prayer warrior already in your tender, innocent years. We need warriors you know. We need soldiers for Christ. We need a strong Guard, a strong Army to bring dominion back to earth to the glory of God!
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Unsaved trash, gay chimpanzee
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Re: Chloe Jones Introduction -
07-25-2014, 07:19 AM
So kids being killed because they were playing instead of worshiping, and women being raped. Those are your favorites? Sounds like you need some Jesus woman!!! If you pray hard enough Jesus will come in your dreams. I have witnessed it. I actually had him touch my *** censored *** and it felt a little bit uncomfortable. but i surely dont mind it IS Jesus after all.
Last edited by Pim Pendergast; 07-25-2014 at 07:43 AM.
Reason: Blasphemous homoeroticism
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Warning: In case of Rapture, this account will be unmanned.
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Re: Chloe Jones Introduction -
07-25-2014, 05:47 PM
Welcome to the forum Chloe!! I think your father mentioned you once (in passing). I look forward to your involvement in spreading the Good Word™.
II Timothy 4:2-5
Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all long suffering and doctrine.
For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears;
And they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables.
But watch thou in all things, endure afflictions, do the work of an evangelist, make full proof of thy ministry.
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Senior Pastor Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™ Always Biblically correct
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Re: Chloe Jones Introduction -
07-25-2014, 05:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DisgruntledApes
So kids being killed because they were playing instead of worshiping, and women being raped. Those are your favorites? Sounds like you need some Jesus woman!!!
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So she needs Jesus because she believes in what the Bible actually says, as opposed to what liberal false Christian space cadets say it says? My word, but you're confused.
This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
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Re: Chloe Jones Introduction -
07-25-2014, 08:28 PM
I am quoting from the King James version, of course! The only version there is.
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Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
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Re: Chloe Jones Introduction -
07-25-2014, 09:46 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chloe Jones
I am quoting from the King James version, of course! The only version there is.
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And you are right to do so: the KJV 1611 is very specific about what is real and truthful and what is not.
2nd Timothy 3:16 "All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness"
Deuteronomy 4:2 "Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye diminish ought from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the LORD your God which I command you."
Revelation 22:18-19 "For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book: And if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book."
Psalm 12:6-7 "The words of the LORD are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times. Thou shalt keep them, O LORD, thou shalt preserve them from this generation for ever."
This proof (if proof be need be) is all I need to know that the KJV 1611 is the trvth© beyond any shadow of a doubt.
Many, many people choose to use the more liberal, faggory versions of the Bible but I say " if'n God wanted the KJV 1611 change he would'a done it".
The ironic thing is that we all know where this liberalisation of the only real Bible is heading in a direction we know, can't you just see it?
That's right: anal sex
Jesus hates it. Every Pastor and Republican statesman hates it (those no good liberal media elites often paint Pastors and Senators as deviant homersexuals out of spite but that is all fantasy). And make no mistake that young boys of this great nation, clean limbed, tall but not heavy set, with barely the softest of wisps of downy fluff on their equaline features hate the thought of being forced into unspeakable acts of anal acquiescence!
If anyone tells you that the Bible is metaphorical you can look them in the eye and shout 'homo-active anal rapist' at the top of your voice and (as long as you are a city) you should be fine.
Welcome to our friendly forum. Jesus sees everything you post so keep it clean and Godly.
YIC
1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.
Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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True Christian™ Creation Scientist Fisher of Men
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Re: Chloe Jones Introduction -
07-25-2014, 09:51 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chloe Jones
Up until a year ago I was home schooled so that I could focus on my Bible studies. Now I attend a public high school. It's a very satanic place.
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I have found that the time I spend among the unsaved often serves to make me grow stronger in Christ. As a Blood-bought son of the Lamb, I know that I am not capable of committing sin, even if I wanted to (I John 3:6-9). In addition to getting an opportunity to win souls for the Kingdom, I have found my time among the unsaved to be a nice little reminder of how much more righteous I am than they are. At this very moment, Jesus is busy at work preparing a golden mansion for me (John 14:2). Meanwhile, all the unsaved have to look forward to is sitting in a vat of boiling feces while they get maybe a half day's reprieve from perpetual demon butt-rape in the fiery pit of hell that our Heavenly Father has prepared for the punishment of all those who fail to fear and obey Him. The fact that God has preordained me to join Him in Heaven for all eternity, while letting so many others fall through the cracks, well... it makes me feel pretty darn special!
Matthew 7:13-14
Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat:
because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.
II Thessalonians 2:11-13
And for this cause God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie:
That they all might be damned who believed not the truth, but had pleasure in unrighteousness.
But we are bound to give thanks alway to God for you, brethren beloved of the Lord, because God hath from the beginning chosen you to salvation through sanctification of the Spirit and belief of the truth:
The majority of people on earth at any given time will wrongly reject Christ's kind offer of redemption and go to hell.
The majority of people rejected Noah's preaching and died in the Flood. The majority of people perished in Sodom and Gomorrah.
The majority of Israel worshipped the golden calf in Exodus 32, just like they rejected the ministry of prophets such as Jeremiah.
The majority of people rejected Christ during His earthly ministry, just like the majority of people alive today reject Jesus Christ as the Savior of the world!
It would seem that throughout history, it has always been a small group of people who have had a heart soft enough to accept God's revealed Truth. It is an honor and a privilege to be counted among Jesus' elect.
II Thessalonians 1:7-9
And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels,
In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power
The man who is being progressively sanctified will inescapably sanctify his home, school, politics, economics, science, and all things else by understanding and interpreting all things in terms of the Word of God and by bringing all things under the Dominion of Christ the King. -R.J. Rushdoony
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Re: Chloe Jones Introduction -
07-26-2014, 02:30 AM
Thank you all for your kind welcome and spiritual instruction about the dangers of but sex. I look forward to fellowship with you on God's favorite forum of which my Father has been a member of for years.
I hope to expose the evils and temptations the youth of today are facing.
YIC ,
Chloe
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Re: Chloe Jones Introduction -
07-26-2014, 06:41 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chloe Jones
I am quoting from the King James version, of course! The only version there is.
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Why so you are! This time yesterday it looked to me like some UnGodly modern version. That will teach me to try and read while wearing my cooking spectacles. I am so sorry for doubting you, dear.
It gives me a lovely warm feeling inside, reminiscent of the feeling of Jesus entering me, to see the next generation joining us here in prayer and praise. I wish you all the very best in your preparations to be one of the Titus 2:3-6 women of the future.
YiC
AW
2 Timothy 3:16
All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
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Re: Chloe Jones Introduction -
07-26-2014, 10:42 AM
My dear Chloe, why on earth has your father sent you to a public high school? What has happened? What has gone wrong with your home schooling?
My husband Mike would like to extend an invitation to your father, for you to board with us while I home school you.
YIC
- Heather
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Winning Souls in his Winnebago
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Re: Chloe Jones Introduction -
07-26-2014, 11:14 PM
Chloe
What you say was the most important thing your father ever taught you?
1 Chronicles 16:15
Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
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Re: Chloe Jones Introduction -
07-27-2014, 12:19 PM
Welcome, dear. I must confess this all comes as a great surprise, as I don't recall Levi ever mentioning a daughter. But never mind all that, I'm sure he just forgot to mention it. Why, I'll bet you have his eyes. My, but it would be nice to have a look at you and see how much you take after him.
My, my, my, yes, yes, yes...
Tell me, do you have a Web cam?
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
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Re: Chloe Jones Introduction -
07-27-2014, 10:45 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine
Welcome, dear. I must confess this all comes as a great surprise, as I don't recall Levi ever mentioning a daughter. But never mind all that, I'm sure he just forgot to mention it. Why, I'll bet you have his eyes. My, but it would be nice to have a look at you and see how much you take after him.
My, my, my, yes, yes, yes...
Tell me, do you have a Web cam?
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I always get confused with that. You seem to ask a lot of people about whether they have a webcam, yet
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WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
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Says you're not supposed to use a webcam. I mean no disrespect, just genuinely confused.
Atheists! Make the right choice!
or
It should be obvious.
Come stand with us, with Christians, with Jesus, in eternal glory in heaven instead of agony in hell. You won't regret it!
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Re: Chloe Jones Introduction -
07-27-2014, 10:56 PM
Yes, my dear, I apologize. Sometimes I get so excited about meeting a fellow Christian that, in the moment, I just plum forget certain, um, "boundaries" that had to be established for me.
I'm sorry.
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
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Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
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Re: Chloe Jones Introduction -
07-27-2014, 11:21 PM
A cautious welcome to you Chloe, although I have my misgivings about a teenage girl posting here. No offense to the True Christian™ ladies here, but even a grown woman can be tiring when they start to drone on and on.
Yours in Christ,
Z. Smyth
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Re: Chloe Jones Introduction -
07-28-2014, 01:46 AM
Welcome and I'm sure your father is really proud of you. And the good Pastor hasn't mentioned that he has a bright young daughter? I'm sure it's a minor oversight. But you dress MODESTLY young lady!! 1 Timothy 2:9 "n like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array"
If you don't any of the manly men in church could rape you and you'd be solely to blame for it.
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