[poop paul]

Originally Posted by Alphonse Alban

I have been thinking about using oven to decontaminate the gay mail, but I'm not sure if the heat is high enough without paper catching fire.

A toaster oven would work fine for letter mail, regular oven is ok for bigger mail. Set at 200 Fahrenheit, 200 will kill anything but wont set paper on fire.

[Brother Hawkins]

I have always trusted Clorox bleach. Soaking packages and skin in bleach for five minutes has no downside.

[krunsch]

Originally Posted by Alphonse Alban

Or is there some even more effective way?

Hmm, I might need to describe the problem from the start.

As we all know, gays spread AIDS around for fun. I have always done my best to protect me and my family by keeping any homo at least baseball bat's length away from me. However, now I'm in bit of a stalemate with post office.

It all started some time ago when I called to post office to get confirmation that I am getting gay free service. Person on the other side of the phone line sounded bit funny when he told me that he is not sure, but he will check it out and contact me later.

After few months I begin to suspect that I was not to be contacted by this person again, so I made another call with more forceful approach. Again the first person I called did not know about that kind of service, but I got another number within the post office I could call to. After quite lengthy round of phone calls, I found out to my horror, that post office in my country does not have "No-homo" policy with their employees.

Ever since I have been pressuring the post office so they start to respect human rights of Christians by guaranteeing gay free mail for good people.

So now we get back to my dilemma. Until post office starts to respect their customers, I have to protect me and my family by cleaning my AIDS laced mail. So far I have used tweezers to remove mail from mailbox and put it in special container. The container I then have placed in very cold freezer for a week. After that I go through mail with dispensable latex gloves and burn envelopes and such right away.

This seems to do the trick (so far we have remained AIDS free), but weeks delay before you can read your mail is bit inconvenient, so I was wondering if I could speed up the process some how. I have been thinking about using oven to decontaminate the gay mail, but I'm not sure if the heat is high enough without paper catching fire.

Has anyone else had these kind problems and thus have more experience with the problem I'm facing?

I am a chemist, I could provide you with something. I can also offer you a filter for nuclear free water and an environment without genes.

[Nobar King]

If you're such a good chemist maybe you should try curing baldness.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by krunsch

I am a chemist, I could provide you with something. I can also offer you a filter for nuclear free water and an environment without genes.

Sounds like you're describing your home.

[WWJDnow]

I'm pretty sure the only thing sure to remove gay germs is the sweet smelling blood of Jesus.

[Alphonse Alban]

Originally Posted by krunsch

I am a chemist, I could provide you with something.

No thank you. If you wouldn't be so lazy, you would have read the whole tread and noticed that I have all the chemicals I need.

Originally Posted by Alphonse Alban

Then I realized that there are faster ways to get things really cold than freezing. So I called to my old buddy who works in chemical plant and ordered daily supply of liquid nitrogen from him. First I just sank the mail in nitrogen and after picking it up, hammered it to get rid of AIDS. This however shattered the mail. So further testing was needed. As I wanted to see if the liquid nitrogen is enough itself to kill small critters like gay-germs, I used my my daughters guinea pig as, well, guinea pig. I was happy to see that it was very much dead after fishing it out of vat even before hammering (but I must say hammering DID cause rather spectacular effect). When the girl was asking after her guinea pig, I just told her that God wanted it dead and now it is resting in pieces. She did not get it. I wish she had been a son.

Anyway, I am now content with liquid nitrogen. It kills the AIDS growth and my neighbors have started to look at me with whole new level of respect, after they have seen me dipping my mail with huge pliers into steaming and bubbling vat on my porch, while wearing black rubber boots, rubber apron and rubber gloves. Of course it is economical and good for environment too, as I don't have to use any MY electricity on making liquid nitrogen.

Originally Posted by WWJDnow

I'm pretty sure the only thing sure to remove gay germs is the sweet smelling blood of Jesus.

Amen! That must be the reason why blood of Jesus is also the only known cure for gaysexuality.

[Basilissa]

Originally Posted by krunsch

I am a chemist, I could provide you with something. I can also offer you a filter for nuclear free water and an environment without genes.

I think he's threatening to nuke us!

[Vavoline Johnson]

Make sho yo Lady folks douche wif Lysol and going over them kids wif a Steam Shark ain't gonna hurt neither. Both them remedies kill jist about everything

[Obese Gay Al]

Originally Posted by Alphonse Alban

Or is there some even more effective way?

Hmm, I might need to describe the problem from the start.

As we all know, gays spread AIDS around for fun. I have always done my best to protect me and my family by keeping any homo at least baseball bat's length away from me. However, now I'm in bit of a stalemate with post office.

It all started some time ago when I called to post office to get confirmation that I am getting gay free service. Person on the other side of the phone line sounded bit funny when he told me that he is not sure, but he will check it out and contact me later.

After few months I begin to suspect that I was not to be contacted by this person again, so I made another call with more forceful approach. Again the first person I called did not know about that kind of service, but I got another number within the post office I could call to. After quite lengthy round of phone calls, I found out to my horror, that post office in my country does not have "No-homo" policy with their employees.

Ever since I have been pressuring the post office so they start to respect human rights of Christians by guaranteeing gay free mail for good people.

So now we get back to my dilemma. Until post office starts to respect their customers, I have to protect me and my family by cleaning my AIDS laced mail. So far I have used tweezers to remove mail from mailbox and put it in special container. The container I then have placed in very cold freezer for a week. After that I go through mail with dispensable latex gloves and burn envelopes and such right away.

This seems to do the trick (so far we have remained AIDS free), but weeks delay before you can read your mail is bit inconvenient, so I was wondering if I could speed up the process some how. I have been thinking about using oven to decontaminate the gay mail, but I'm not sure if the heat is high enough without paper catching fire.

Has anyone else had these kind problems and thus have more experience with the problem I'm facing?

I couldn't help but laugh at this.

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Originally Posted by Big Gay Al

I couldn't help but laugh at this.

Laughing at people with AIDS?

Not cool, bro.

[Obese Gay Al]

Originally Posted by Dr Laurence Niles

Laughing at people with AIDS?

Not cool, bro.

Even you agree, good job.

[Zechariah Smyth]

Originally Posted by Big Gay Al

Even you agree, good job.

You're not even making sense. I reckon the AIDS has already started the retard thing with you.

Pity.

[CollegeKid21]

Do you honestly think you are accomplishing something with this thread? You are just as evil and sinful as them spewing this garbage on this page.

If you really loved God, you'd have the decency to care instead of being belligerent and completely ignorant. These people need the love of God not ignorant 12-year-old acting adults who need to spend a little more time in the Word to prevent getting it all twisted.

Please, feel free to demean me because you aren't accomplishing anything but letting Satan's viperish words to leave your mouth.

[Alphonse Alban]

Originally Posted by CollegeKid21

If you really loved God, you'd have the decency to care instead of being belligerent and completely ignorant. These people need the love of God not ignorant 12-year-old acting adults who need to spend a little more time in the Word to prevent getting it all twisted.

I have no idea why you are so hateful that you need to start coming up with such lies, but you are way off here.

Sodomy is a sin and you will end up in hell because of that. Only way to salvation for gaysexuals is to cure them from their gaysexualism. So, what is it again that is so horrible in trying to save souls of gaysexuals and protect your family from diseases gaysexuals spread.

[Zechariah Smyth]

Originally Posted by CollegeKid21

Do you honestly think you are accomplishing something with this thread? You are just as evil and sinful as them spewing this garbage on this page.

If you really loved God, you'd have the decency to care instead of being belligerent and completely ignorant. These people need the love of God not ignorant 12-year-old acting adults who need to spend a little more time in the Word to prevent getting it all twisted.

Please, feel free to demean me because you aren't accomplishing anything but letting Satan's viperish words to leave your mouth.

I'm not a rich man, but if you can find one instance of a True Christian™ quoting the Devil, I will send $1,000 to the Jesus-hating charity of your choice.

Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

[CollegeKid21]

The point I was trying to make, was not to pardon their sin, but to treat them as humans.

There is a lot of ignorance and placing those who practice homosexuality, because evidently Jesus would prolly use the term gaysexual to demean people, below those of us who claim to have been saved because YOU are NO holier than them. Yes, YOU have ACCEPTED Jesus' salvation, but you have a human body just like them and you are just as susceptible to sin as they are. Call me what you may, but I will not accept you slandering the love of Jesus because you can't figure out how to show His love to this group of fellow sinners positively.

Please keep coming at me because whether or not I quote KJV, Jesus would never advocate the literal slander of what HE died for by judging these people.

[CollegeKid21]

Originally Posted by Zechariah Smyth

I'm not a rich man, but if you can find one instance of a True Christian™ quoting the Devil, I will send $1,000 to the Jesus-hating charity of your choice.

Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

Zechariah, did I specify who I was speaking to? You gotta read before you jump like that. I read this whole thread and was starting a new discussion with those who chose to defend the general consensus of the thread.

[Zechariah Smyth]

Originally Posted by CollegeKid21

The point I was trying to make, was not to pardon their sin, but to treat them as humans.

There is a lot of ignorance and placing those who practice homosexuality, because evidently Jesus would prolly use the term gaysexual to demean people, below those of us who claim to have been saved because YOU are NO holier than them. Yes, YOU have ACCEPTED Jesus' salvation, but you have a human body just like them and you are just as susceptible to sin as they are. Call me what you may, but I will not accept you slandering the love of Jesus because you can't figure out how to show His love to this group of fellow sinners positively.

Please keep coming at me because whether or not I quote KJV, Jesus would never advocate the literal slander of what HE died for by judging these people.

That's just plain retarded. The only record of what Jesus said is in the Bible, and He said that He was here to fulfill the law (Matthew 5:17) and part of that law says queers are disgusting (Leviticus 18:22 among others).

Please find me one instance where Jesus specifically said that I should accept homos.

Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

[Attila's Wife]

Originally Posted by CollegeKid21

The point I was trying to make....

Blah blah, whatever.

Brother Alphonse, have you considered dry ice?

YiC
AW