HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN A seasonal forum to NOT celebrate Satan's birthday. |
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Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
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Posts: 14,178
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: With my nose stuck in the Bible.
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Helloween 2013. We are going to investigate ghosts and demons. -
10-03-2013, 07:13 AM
The witch population was a bit thin this year, so we won't be issuing any tags this season.
This year's hunt is our investigation into the possessed and haunted places.
I will be investigating the Eastern State Penitentiary. It just has to be evil. Look at how scary the ramparts are!
The prison housed inmates in solitary confinement at all times for the first few years it was in operation. It was said to drive the inmates insane. So you just know there are ghosts or demons present.
I will be there to pray and perhaps be tested. I will be praying to exorcise the facility of all evil spirits. I am sure they will not like that and will probably target me.
I need all the saints out there to pray for me as I go to do spiritual warfare.
Of course I will be fasting first as Jesus says to drive out the particularly nasty spirits.
Matthew 17:19,21 Then came the disciples to Jesus apart, and said, Why could not we cast him out?
21 Howbeit this kind goeth not out but by prayer and fasting.
Jesus fasted for 40 days before going to do battle with Satan, so I only being half as good as Jesus, will fast for 20 days before I battle the demons. I am sure to draw them out and see them if I do that!
What will you guys be doing to investigate and do spiritual battle with the evil principalities?
Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Helloween 2013. We are going to investigate ghosts and demons. -
10-04-2013, 02:11 AM
I'm concentrating my efforts in slantland. They have so many ghosts you won't believe it.
I hope to bring one back for our Creation Scientists to examine.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,364
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Helloween 2013. We are going to investigate ghosts and demons. -
10-04-2013, 03:07 AM
Sounds like a case for the Freehold Demonbusters department.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,766
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry, Redding, CA
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Re: Helloween 2013. We are going to investigate ghosts and demons. -
10-04-2013, 08:42 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Levi Jones
The witch population was a bit thin this year, so we won't be issuing any tags this season
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I don't know whether I can go a whole year without bagging me a witch in the witch hunt. What's the penalty for poaching witches?
Draft Freehold, Iowa Mayor
Johny Joe Hold
for Vice President in 2024
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 40
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Cornfield County, Illinois
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Re: Helloween 2013. We are going to investigate ghosts and demons. -
10-04-2013, 01:18 PM
If we're not doing witches this year may I suggest hippies?
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Unsaved Trash, filthy obese repulsive godmocking whore
Under Investigation
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Posts: 7
Join Date: Sep 2013
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Re: Helloween 2013. We are going to investigate ghosts and demons. -
10-14-2013, 12:56 AM
Witch hunt? Is it like flag football or paintball or something?
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Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,223
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Thong-infested Florida©
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Re: Helloween 2013. We are going to investigate ghosts and demons. -
10-14-2013, 12:59 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by RadicalGirl
Witch hunt? Is it like flag football or paintball or something?
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Please put a little more thought in your posts. Use the search function here, or try Google.
Yours in Christ,
Z. Smyth
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Former Mary Hailer who has seen The Light©
Forum Member
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Posts: 401
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Ireland, a Godless papist hellhole!
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Re: Helloween 2013. We are going to investigate ghosts and demons. -
10-22-2013, 12:40 PM
This year I will be concentrating my efforts on the search for the Irish banshee, a sister of satan and half ghost half witch entity. I believe that my faith will protect me from her evil screech which is supposed to bring death to all who hear it.
I believe that this evil screech is nothing more than some poor soul crying out for Jesus and I think that with prayer I can release it to the bossom of christ and send the evil entity that corrupts her to the fires of hell.
An Irish Banshee
Matthew 10:34
Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
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Mayor of Freehold
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Posts: 12,176
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Helloween 2013. We are going to investigate ghosts and demons. -
10-23-2013, 01:05 AM
I've become concerned with old people in nursing homes. So many have hollow eyes, pasty skin and ugly white hair.
Some of them can't, or won't, talk. They might be possessed with demons but there is no way to tell.
It seems safer to assume the worst and get them into some kind of physical confinement so they don't infect others.
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
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Re: Helloween 2013. We are going to investigate ghosts and demons. -
10-23-2013, 01:47 AM
Spastics, elves, and other retards are always infested to the brim with discarnate, paranormal entities. They are also easy to catch, but get lost easily. Einstein was a good example.
Make sure not to get doused with their ectoplasm. It is a surefire way to contract the GRIDS. Then you will shrink, turn retarded, twitch violently, or something else, depending on what type of spiritual defect is associated with the hellspawn you have encountered.
So always come prepared as if you were entering a biochemical hotzone. JSLIST (joint service lightweight integrated suit technology) at MOPP (mission oriented protective posture) level 4 with a filter mask at a minimum, just like you were ministering to a homosexual. You don't want to wind up like one of those spastics who look like they have been doused with nerve agent.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 1,485
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Reaping Bountifully
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Re: Helloween 2013. We are going to investigate ghosts and demons. -
10-23-2013, 10:20 AM
This year I shall be hunting midgets. There's one stalking the forum at the minute that I would dearly love to put the fear of God into.
Isaiah 66:15
For behold, the Lord wil come with fire, and with his charets like a whirlewinde, to render his anger with furie, and his rebuke with flames of fire.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 1,485
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Reaping Bountifully
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Re: Helloween 2013. We are going to investigate ghosts and demons. -
10-27-2013, 10:04 AM
A few of the midget demonss I have caught so far. Note the similarities between them and lallygagger46. Maybe they are related.
Isaiah 66:15
For behold, the Lord wil come with fire, and with his charets like a whirlewinde, to render his anger with furie, and his rebuke with flames of fire.
Last edited by Thomas Taylor; 02-15-2017 at 12:55 PM.
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
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Re: Helloween 2013. We are going to investigate ghosts and demons. -
10-27-2013, 10:22 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thomas Taylor
A few of the midget demonss I have caught so far. Note the similarities between them and lallygagger46. Maybe they are related.
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Because of the incestuous inclinations of midgets, most of them are indeed related. Hence their repellent deformity.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Mayor of Freehold
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Posts: 12,176
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Helloween 2013. We are going to investigate ghosts and demons. -
10-28-2013, 12:30 AM
On my afternoon walk today, some teenage girls ask me if I thought it would OK to dress up as singing nuns.
I told them no way. "In Freehold, people will throw stones at you."
Their parents have not taught them properly.
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 3
Join Date: Oct 2013
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Re: Helloween 2013. We are going to investigate ghosts and demons. -
10-31-2013, 12:51 AM
God is great, isn't he?
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: Helloween 2013. We are going to investigate ghosts and demons. -
10-31-2013, 12:57 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Dew
God is great, isn't he?
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I think you should read our syllabus for new posters as written by Pastor Billy-Reuben. It really explains all you need to know as far as our beliefs. It also outlines what is expected as far as your behavior on these forums.
Here are your rights as articulated by Dr. Enobarbus.
New members are requested to make an introduction for themselves.
We always encourage everyone to back up all claims with scripture from the Holy Bible.
Chances are the question you want to have answered has been asked before. I would be sure to use the search function before diving head first into people who are tired of hearing the same question over and over.
First of all, this is NOT a debate forum. We're right and you're wrong, according to Jesus and the Holy Word of God. Please read THIS thread before making an even bigger fool of yourself.
Secondly, while the internets might seem to be "free" to you, this particular corner of the internets is a privately owned Christian forum. The rights you have on this forum are listed HERE. Please contact a Pastor immediately if you feel that any of your rights have been violated.
Finally, your unsaved opinions or tantrums are not even slightly of interest to us. We follow the Holy Word of God TO THE LETTER, and make no apologies for that. One of the most important commandments in the Bible tells us to avoid unsaved scum such as yourself. You wandered in here uninvited, and unwelcome .
If you want to debate people, THIS is the place to go.
Please make a thread of your own in the "Introductions" section of the forum, so that we can properly greet you. Tell us about yourself, your church, and how you came to find Jesus.
And if you're here to flame us, better take a look at THIS before making an even bigger ass out of yourself.
I will pray that the Holy Spirit enter you and chase the demons out of your rectum and let Jesus fill you with His Grace. If you use your God-given free will to reject Christ and His temporary death on the cross for my sins, then you are sending yourself to hellfire.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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