[strictman]

hello I am. a 66 yr old christian in Surrey uk, a believer in discipline for all,i think everyone needs a little discipline in there lives' can help gif your in need

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

And where did you immigrate from?

[JamesH.B]

What kind of introduction is this. In case you haven't noticed, there are instructions at the top of the page on how to introduce yourself. I'm in a helpful mood, so I'll write them down for you.

Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

[Dana723]

Originally Posted by strictman

hello I am. a 66 yr old christian in Surrey uk, a believer in discipline for all,i think everyone needs a little discipline in there lives' can help gif your in need

What? I have read this several times and still don't know what you are saying.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Oh dear. As I live in Godless England, I am all too familiar with this level of illiteracy. I will attempt a translation into human language, with annotations for clarity.

Originally Posted by strictman

hello I am. a 66 yr old christian in Surrey uk,

Hello. I am a 14-year-old schoolboy. I live in Surrey, England, directly under the flightpath to one or possibly both of London's airports. The dumping of fuel (and the consequences of fetal alcohol syndrome) explain the brain damage.

Originally Posted by strictman

a believer in discipline for all,

(except when it comes to doing his homework)

Originally Posted by strictman

i I think everyone needs a little discipline in there their lives' lives

I don't think he thinks this applies to him, though, however much his obese unmarried mom (29 next birthday) screams at him, so that should probably read "everyone else".

Originally Posted by strictman

can help gif your in need

Sorry, he has lost me with the "gif", and the absence of a subject. But I don't suppose it even made sense in his head, so it's not worth speculating about. It is all very sad.

[Basilissa]

Thank you, Sister Joanna, this translation from gibberish to Proper American was very helpful.

[Dennis Lukes]

Originally Posted by strictman

hello I am. a 66 yr old christian in Surrey uk

Unlikely. Out of the 66.02 million people in the UK (as it's properly capitalized), only about 150,000 of them call themselves Baptists. It's probably fair to say that only about 0.2% of that 0.2% are True Christians who will go to Heaven, like your Godly compatriot Sister Joanna Lytton-Vasey. Therefore, it is very mathematically unlikely you are being truthful.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes

Unlikely. Out of the 66.02 million people in the UK (as it's properly capitalized), only about 150,000 of them call themselves Baptists. It's probably fair to say that only about 0.2% of that 0.2% are True Christians who will go to Heaven

The remaining 98.8%, Brother Dennis, are mostly Welsh! Can you imagine? When I was about 10 years old, my dear father drove my brothers and me over the border into Wales and took us to a Welsh "Baptist" chapel, where the pastor spoke in gobbledygook and the congregation sang hymns in their hideous tongue. It was a warning I have never forgotten. I still have nightmares about it.

[Dana723]

Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey

Oh dear. As I live in Godless England, I am all too familiar with this level of illiteracy. I will attempt a translation into human language, with annotations for clarity.



Hello. I am a 14-year-old schoolboy. I live in Surrey, England, directly under the flightpath to one or possibly both of London's airports. The dumping of fuel (and the consequences of fetal alcohol syndrome) explain the brain damage.



(except when it comes to doing his homework)


I don't think he thinks this applies to him, though, however much his obese unmarried mom (29 next birthday) screams at him, so that should probably read "everyone else".



Sorry, he has lost me with the "gif", and the absence of a subject. But I don't suppose it even made sense in his head, so it's not worth speculating about. It is all very sad.

Thank you very much for clarifying what he was trying to say. It gave me a headache trying to decipher! Are all English men this awful?

[Dennis Lukes]

Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey

The remaining 98.8%, Brother Dennis, are mostly Welsh! Can you imagine? When I was about 10 years old, my dear father drove my brothers and me over the border into Wales and took us to a Welsh "Baptist" chapel, where the pastor spoke in gobbledygook and the congregation sang hymns in their hideous tongue. It was a warning I have never forgotten. I still have nightmares about it.

Aren't those the ones who give Jesus the finger by having carnal knowledge of their sheep (Exodus 22:19)?

[Dana723]

Originally Posted by Dennis Lukes

Aren't those the ones who give Jesus the finger by having carnal knowledge of their sheep (Exodus 22:19)?

I think you are thinking of Australians. Or maybe Scotsmen.

[Dennis Lukes]

Originally Posted by Dana723

I think you are thinking of Australians. Or maybe Scotsmen.

No, I was thinking of the Welsh.



New Zealanders also have sinful relations with their sheep. As for the Australians, I've long harbored suspicions about them and those kangaroos. I'm not sure about the Scots though. The men wear skirts and no undergarments, so the only reasonable conclusion is that this was designed for "easy access" and that they sodomize each other.


Also Jap women fornicate with dogs.

[Jim C. Lombardo]

When I saw this topic name, I suspected you'd be an older asian man. Given your sense of the English lexicon, my suspicions still hold water, I think.