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Default Stonehenge glorified - 10-29-2006, 02:57 AM

Well THIS makes Jesus cry.
As if glorifying witchcraft and Satanism as a holiday wasn't bad enough, now certain people are trying to validate Devilworshipping by naming Stonehenge as one of the "New" Seven Wonders. This would only lend credibility to Satanism being a "natural" thing. The Bible says we should denounce Witchcraft and if Stonehenge wasn't crafted by witches then I don't know what was.
Well I'm disgusted with Briton again whats new.


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Default Re: Stonehenge glorified - 10-29-2006, 04:48 AM

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Originally Posted by Marshall View Post
The Bible says we should denounce Witchcraft and if Stonehenge wasn't crafted by witches then I don't know what was.
Amen, Brother Marshall. Only a waggle of witchy women would construct something so evil ... and when I say "construct", I mean "have randy men do all the heavy work for them, and reward said men with a romp in the bushes".

A witch's cunning knows no bounds.


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Default Re: Stonehenge glorified - 10-29-2006, 07:04 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marshall View Post
Well THIS makes Jesus cry.
As if glorifying witchcraft and Satanism as a holiday wasn't bad enough, now certain people are trying to validate Devilworshipping by naming Stonehenge as one of the "New" Seven Wonders. This would only lend credibility to Satanism being a "natural" thing. The Bible says we should denounce Witchcraft and if Stonehenge wasn't crafted by witches then I don't know what was.
Well I'm disgusted with Briton again whats new.
Until the day that someone explains accurately how they built it, I'd say it is a legitimate wonder indeed.

And besides, what's wrong with that? You xtians have many, many monuments....let other people have theirs.



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Default Re: Stonehenge glorified - 10-29-2006, 07:09 AM

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Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
Until the day that someone explains accurately how they built it, I'd say it is a legitimate wonder indeed.
No it isn't. My extensive research into Celtic history has shown me exactly how they did it. But I''m not telling.


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Default Re: Stonehenge glorified - 10-29-2006, 07:12 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
No it isn't. My extensive research into Celtic history has shown me exactly how they did it. But I''m not telling.
They have speculated on how it's done, yes, but do they actually know for sure?
In any case, if you ever did feel like telling, I for one would be interested to hear.



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Default Re: Stonehenge glorified - 10-29-2006, 07:23 AM

OK. God was casting about for a place to put Eden. He was at Stonehenge one delightful summer evening and built a hanging garden when the weather went bad and he got depessed, as do all Brits who live in that horrid place. So he walked off and left it.


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Default Re: Stonehenge glorified - 10-29-2006, 08:08 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
OK. God was casting about for a place to put Eden. He was at Stonehenge one delightful summer evening and built a hanging garden when the weather went bad and he got depessed, as do all Brits who live in that horrid place. So he walked off and left it.
THAT'S your glorious explanation? THAT??
So the gist I'm getting here is you don't know either, huh.



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Default Re: Stonehenge glorified - 10-29-2006, 08:25 AM

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Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
THAT'S your glorious explanation? THAT??
I'm afraid that if you don't have a better explanation and you NOT! er I mean, and you don't, then mine is the most logical and appropriate because it exactly fits our observations!


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Default Re: Stonehenge glorified - 10-29-2006, 08:29 AM

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Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
I'm afraid that if you don't have a better explanation and you NOT! er I mean, and you don't, then mine is the most logical and appropriate because it exactly fits our observations!
Au contraire, dear Pastor, it does not make sense. For you see, if it were something you thought your god created, why would you be making such a fuss about it being made a national monument? I would think you'd be all for it.

In fact, didn't Marshall say in his post, and I quote:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marshall
This would only lend credibility to Satanism being a "natural" thing. The Bible says we should denounce Witchcraft and if Stonehenge wasn't crafted by witches then I don't know what was.



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Default Re: Stonehenge glorified - 10-29-2006, 08:38 AM

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Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
Au contraire, dear Pastor, it does not make sense. For you see, if it were something you thought your god created, why would you be making such a fuss about it being made a national monument? I would think you'd be all for it.

In fact, didn't Marshall say in his post, and I quote:
Brother Marshall is correct! It wasn't BUILT by witches, but it was taken over by them and turned into a cauldron of evil by SATAN who was jealous that GOD could lift bigger rocks than him. Don't try to slip your demonic tongue in where it doesn't belong, MISSY!


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Default Re: Stonehenge glorified - 10-29-2006, 08:49 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
Brother Marshall is correct! It wasn't BUILT by witches, but it was taken over by them and turned into a cauldron of evil by SATAN who was jealous that GOD could lift bigger rocks than him. Don't try to slip your demonic tongue in where it doesn't belong, MISSY!
Umm.....well pardon my ignorance, grand exalted poobahPastor Al, but then why did he write

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marshall
if Stonehenge wasn't crafted by witches then I don't know what was.
From dictionary.com:
tr.v. craft·ed, craft·ing, crafts
  1. To make by hand.
  2. Usage Problem. To make or construct (something) in a manner suggesting great care or ingenuity: “It was not the Chamber of Commerce that crafted the public policies that have resulted in a $26 billion annual subvention to the farmers” (William F. Buckley, Jr.).
Maybe I'm just too pig ignorant to see that he was really suggesting what you're saying between the lines, huh? old



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Default Re: Stonehenge glorified - 10-29-2006, 02:39 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
Umm.....well pardon my ignorance, grand exalted poobahPastor Al, but then why did he write



From dictionary.com:
tr.v. craft·ed, craft·ing, crafts
  1. To make by hand.
  2. Usage Problem. To make or construct (something) in a manner suggesting great care or ingenuity: “It was not the Chamber of Commerce that crafted the public policies that have resulted in a $26 billion annual subvention to the farmers” (William F. Buckley, Jr.).
Maybe I'm just too pig ignorant to see that he was really suggesting what you're saying between the lines, huh? old


The answere is easy; God knew witches were going to end up using it so He made it look something a wicker would build. What's so hard about that Mss van Hellsmartypants?



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Default Re: Stonehenge glorified - 10-29-2006, 03:34 PM

I clearly said CRAFTED by witches. Stonehenge was BUILT by God. No mere man could lift such heavy things right at the dawn of mankind. Jesus didn't invent the crane for another few thousand years. It wasn't known as "Stonehenge" until filthy Pagans and Wiccans took it over and perverted Gods intended purpose.


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Default Re: Stonehenge glorified - 10-29-2006, 08:54 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
From dictionary.com:
tr.v. craft·ed, craft·ing, crafts
  1. To make by hand.
  2. Usage Problem. To make or construct (something) in a manner suggesting great care or ingenuity: “It was not the Chamber of Commerce that crafted the public policies that have resulted in a $26 billion annual subvention to the farmers” (William F. Buckley, Jr.).
Maybe I'm just too pig ignorant to see that he was really suggesting what you're saying between the lines, huh? old
I suppose so. Here is another example: God builds pumpkins. Satinists CRAFT them into HELLoween gargoyles to sellebrate the Devil's birthday, promote dental caries and put poor older people into diabetic shock. See the difference?

Here's an even better one. GOD gifted you with a child but, since you deny JESUS, He made it a girl; an empty vessel who will go through life hoping against hope that a good Christian man will fill her with little soldiers before the Mudslums rape her on a streetcorner when she is ten.


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Default Re: Stonehenge glorified - 10-30-2006, 12:12 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
The answere is easy; God knew witches were going to end up using it so He made it look something a wicker would build. What's so hard about that Mss van Hellsmartypants?
Bah. If you're saying 'god built it', what's to stop people saying 'aliens built it'? The latter idea is by far the more plausible one.

Quote:
I clearly said CRAFTED by witches. Stonehenge was BUILT by God. No mere man could lift such heavy things right at the dawn of mankind. Jesus didn't invent the crane for another few thousand years. It wasn't known as "Stonehenge" until filthy Pagans and Wiccans took it over and perverted Gods intended purpose.
Crafted, built can mean the same thing. And if you think it was the work of your deity, then why would you not want it to be made a national monument?

Quote:
I suppose so. Here is another example: God builds pumpkins. Satinsts CRAFT them into HELLoween gargoyles to sellebrate the Devil's birthday, promote dental caries and put poor older people into diabetic shock. See the difference?
Soooo.....all little children carving pumpkins are Satanists? My, my they sure must train em young...and in christian families too old
And gee, I feel so stupid. Here I was thinking pumpkins grew from a seed in the ground! old

Quote:
Here's an even better one. GOD gifted you with a child but, since you deny JESUS, He made it a girl; an empty vessel who will go through life hoping against hope that a good Christian man will fill her with little soldiers before the Mudslums rape her on a streetcorner when she is ten.
Pastor Al.
I would never allow something bad to happen to my child (or any future child I may have...if I have)



Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Star Finder is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Star Finder is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Star Finder is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Star Finder is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Star Finder is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Star Finder is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Star Finder is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Star Finder is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Star Finder is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Star Finder is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Star Finder is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Stonehenge glorified - 10-30-2006, 06:43 PM

Stonehenge is a glorious place to dance and sing! It is a great place for feasting and fornication! Open up my pickinic basket and take out the sausage my dear!

and then we sing:

"Baby if you just say you still care
Follow you most anywhere
Roll away the stone, roll away the stone.

And, in the darkest night,
Ill keep you safe and all right
Roll away the stone, roll away the stone

Wont you roll away the stone
Why be cold and so alone?
Wont you roll away the stone
Dont you let it die"

yeaaaaa!


.


I am on the adventure of a lifetime! This is even better than the time I used the plastic stones!
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Default Re: Stonehenge glorified - 10-31-2006, 12:23 AM

Lord Almighty. I knew that this thread would draw Mr. Rocks-for-brains like flies to a nigra.

Are you ready to re-accept Jesus, for real this time? Dissolve your sand-eating cult now and repent!! Stonehedge is going to be dynamited into smithereens just as soon as we sweep our all-Republican ticket into office, just a few days from now. Count on it Stonehead.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Stonehenge glorified - 10-31-2006, 12:53 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
I would never allow something bad to happen to my child (or any future child I may have...if I have)
So, then, you'll teach your child (or any future child you may have) about Jesus? It seems to me that eternal damnation is something bad.


This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

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Default Re: Stonehenge glorified - 10-31-2006, 01:07 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
Bah. If you're saying 'god built it', what's to stop people saying 'aliens built it'? The latter idea is by far the more plausible one.

I reread the Book of Genesis and saw no mention of Aliens. God created everything in 6 days and rested on the 7th, that is fact. Imagined beings floating around in space with the power to create huge things without leaving a trace sounds a little far fetched don't you think Tinkerbell?

Crafted, built can mean the same thing. And if you think it was the work of your deity, then why would you not want it to be made a national monument?

The Pastor just told you! I just told you! Because Satanists have been fornicating on it for 5000 years! He created Milwaukee too but we don't want Milwaukee representing one of Gods wonders now do we?

Soooo.....all little children carving pumpkins are Satanists? My, my they sure must train em young...and in christian families too old
And gee, I feel so stupid. Here I was thinking pumpkins grew from a seed in the ground! old

The seed grown on Gods Earth. The pumpkin is alive therefore Gods doing, the destruction of that life for Satanic merriment is definately perverting it's intended purpose which is warm pie cooling on a windowsill in my kitchen. Jesus says DUH.

Pastor Al.
I would never allow something bad to happen to my child (or any future child I may have...if I have)
If I may interjeculate here,
Van Helsing...you need Jesus. A LOT of Jesus and real quick too. By casting aspersions upon Jesus Christ and His chosen church you are also condemning your spawn to eternal torment by your side. Think of your baby and contact the Pastor and set up a basic Tin Tithing regimin to begin the long road to redemption. Do it for yourself but most importantly for your child. Jesus is waiting for you in Heaven and He's got a fresh pumpkin pie with your name on it.


God bless America, the Second Amendment and the Constitution. God bless the United States Marine Corps and all who fight for Jesus in third world cess pools. God bless the GOP and all they stand for, Truth, Honesty and the American people. God bless Landover Baptist Church and all True Christians™ the world over. Curses to our Muslim President, his failure is our Salvation.
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Default Re: Stonehenge glorified - 10-31-2006, 02:27 AM

I see no problem with it. It's a wonder because the stones came from many miles away and are gigantic. It's truely amazing from an archetectural viewpoint. Concerning the "mystical" properties of it, there's no chance in hell that some carefully placed gigantic rocks can do magical things. Archetectural-Amazing. Religious-God MUST have done it.
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