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Default Prayer for my lost wallet - 07-02-2012, 03:19 AM
Dear LORD,

I lift up my eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the LORD, who made Heaven and Earth. Let not my heart be troubled. I trust in You, I seek your face; let me be an instrument of Your Will on Earth. I need Your help. Without You I am nothing.

I lost my wallet this afternoon. Please help me find it.

Help me Jesus Christ. You are my only hope.

God, you are so great. I thank you for everything - not least of which is helping me overcome my innate worthlessness and become a full and complete person in Christ JESUS. In His Name.

Amen.

II Thessalonians 1:7-9
And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels,
In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power
The man who is being progressively sanctified will inescapably sanctify his home, school, politics, economics, science, and all things else by understanding and interpreting all things in terms of the Word of God and by bringing all things under the Dominion of Christ the King. -R.J. Rushdoony
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Default Re: Prayer for my lost wallet - 07-02-2012, 03:40 AM
And God, while you're at it, please see to it that Kansas unIversity has a better basketball year this year too please.

And also, please find his wallet and save the starving people in nigrastand, africa.

In any order You see fit.

Amen

Your most humble obedient servant who's at your warm Holy feet forever,

Jgs

Therefore hath the curse devoured the earth, and they that dwell therein are desolate: therefore the inhabitants of the earth are burned, and few men left. -- Isaiah 24:6 KJV
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Default Re: Prayer for my lost wallet - 07-02-2012, 04:05 AM
Amen!

And if you could see to it, LORD, my daughter needs a change of heart. When she sees I am right and stops fighting me and rebelling, her life will be much more pleasant.
You know the details, Jesus.

In Jesus Name I pray.

Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: Prayer for my lost wallet - 07-02-2012, 04:12 AM
Lord,

You know all and see everything. Anything is possible through Christ. If I say to this mountain, "move" it will run into the sea. I humbly ask You, Oh LORD! Please let the Dallas Cowboys win the Superbowl.

In the name of Christ Jesus.

Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.



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Default Re: Prayer for my lost wallet - 07-02-2012, 06:52 AM
+1 on the wallet Lord, Brother Jed was all tore up about it at church today.

Also, while you're at it, I've got an old Craftsmen T50 staple gun, and nobody carries staples that fit it (the Arrow Brand ones are too narrow). So if you have the time, could you make the slot where the staples go in my stapler narrower to fit the Arrow staples? That would be great Lord, because I don't want to have to spend another $18.00 to buy a new Arrow stapler at The Home depot, that seems like a waste of money, since there's nothing wrong with the Craftsman gun.



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Default Re: Prayer for my lost wallet - 07-02-2012, 07:01 AM
Aaron wanted me to post here and pray for Jesus to fix the stapler too, since it's the least I could do if I cared about him at all, especially since he pays all the bills and all I do is fart and barf all the time and I still can't seem to scramble his eggs right, and how complicated is that after all, it's just eggs.

So please Jesus, fix Aaron's stapler. I pray with all my heart. Amen.

YIC

Mrs. Aaron Portway

Aaron said I should have this for my signature to remind me how to be a good wife.

"Feminism is a socialist, anti-family, political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians."

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Default Re: Prayer for my lost wallet - 07-02-2012, 10:08 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Naomi Portway View Post
Aaron wanted me to post here and pray for Jesus to fix the stapler too, since it's the least I could do if I cared about him at all, especially since he pays all the bills and all I do is fart and barf all the time and I still can't seem to scramble his eggs right, and how complicated is that after all, it's just eggs.

So please Jesus, fix Aaron's stapler. I pray with all my heart. Amen.

YIC

Mrs. Aaron Portway
While your at it pray that God fixes your incessent whining

YIC

1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Default Re: Prayer for my lost wallet - 07-02-2012, 02:14 PM
Brother Portway, I have instructed all my help to spend the late afternoon (well evening) praying for your staple gun in silence in their chicken coop bunk house.
I will have my boys do a through search for your wallet, Brother Jedediah. The coons and wetbacks are pretty good at hiding things in their rectums but then again, my boys know where to look.

Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Prayer for my lost wallet - 07-02-2012, 04:30 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jedediah View Post
Dear LORD,

I lift up my eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the LORD, who made Heaven and Earth. Let not my heart be troubled. I trust in You, I seek your face; let me be an instrument of Your Will on Earth. I need Your help. Without You I am nothing.

I lost my wallet this afternoon. Please help me find it.

Help me Jesus Christ. You are my only hope.

God, you are so great. I thank you for everything - not least of which is helping me overcome my innate worthlessness and become a full and complete person in Christ JESUS. In His Name.

Amen.
Does it look like this, Brother?


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Default Re: Prayer for my lost wallet - 07-02-2012, 10:10 PM
Please pray that all this heat and humidity will go away so I can have better hair days.

I was embarrassed at Services this weekend because my hair was so limp.



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Default Re: Prayer for my lost wallet - 07-02-2012, 10:35 PM
As Christians, we need to remember that we MUST offer our bodies up to God as sacrifices acceptable to Him. This means we have to fully give ourselves to Him, not holding anything for ourselves, or else He won't answer our prayers.

I will pray for all of you. And since I don't abuse my vagina with dildos anymore and offer my body only to the LORD, I'm sure he'll answer my prayers.
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Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Prayer for my lost wallet - 07-04-2012, 10:09 PM
Amazing how a thread mentioning "wallet" attracts so many women. A clear sign women are not to be trusted with money.

Ephesians 5:22-24 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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