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The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

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Melinda Melinda is offline
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Melinda is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Melinda is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Unhappy New to the forum - 03-30-2009, 05:05 AM

Hello,How is everyone doing today?I want to start off by intriducing my self.I am new to this forum..I have two bueatiful children which are my pride and joys..I am here in search of some guidence..I pray everyday for some peace of mind and some help... but since i have noone to talk to , i choose to register in a forum that is religious..I dont want to be judged . because i believe that only God can do that.I have been through it all and i'm feeling like i need help and Guidence from the lord above...I am currently in a relationship... so all im looking for is someone to help me and to give me some more Guidence... Some one who is one of Gods messengers who can help me get back my peace of mind.....I need all the help that i can get....Thank You...And God Bless Sincerly,A lost soul..
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Pastor Al E Pistle Pastor Al E Pistle is offline
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Default Re: New to the forum - 03-30-2009, 07:56 AM

Hello Melinda,

If you are in a 'relationship' and aren't married, you are a whore. Let's try to solve that first can we? Because when your girls grow up they will ask what you did all of your life except not graduate from school and you'll have to tell them "I was a whore".


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
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Default Re: New to the forum - 03-30-2009, 08:06 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Melinda View Post
Hello,How is everyone doing today?I want to start off by intriducing my self.I am new to this forum..I have two bueatiful children which are my pride and joys..I am here in search of some guidence..I pray everyday for some peace of mind and some help... but since i have noone to talk to , i choose to register in a forum that is religious..I dont want to be judged . because i believe that only God can do that.I have been through it all and i'm feeling like i need help and Guidence from the lord above...I am currently in a relationship... so all im looking for is someone to help me and to give me some more Guidence... Some one who is one of Gods messengers who can help me get back my peace of mind.....I need all the help that i can get....Thank You...And God Bless Sincerly,A lost soul..
What is this "Guidence" stuff you want? Is your spell check broken? Do you have one of those cheap Pakistani computers with no "Shift" key?

As for your "personal beliefs" about God, they are irrelevant. We follow the KJV Bible to the letter, as God intended. Here's what He says about judging you:

Quote:
Leviticus 19:15
In righteousness shalt thou judge thy neighbour.

John 7:24
Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.

1 Corinthians 2:15
But he that is spiritual judgeth all things, yet he himself is judged of no man.

1 Tim 5:20 Them that sin rebuke before all, that others also may fear.
Now then, tell us what you problems are, and try and make a post we can read without using Bablefish.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Melinda is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Melinda is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: New to the forum - 04-03-2009, 03:11 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
Hello Melinda,

If you are in a 'relationship' and aren't married, you are a whore. Let's try to solve that first can we? Because when your girls grow up they will ask what you did all of your life except not graduate from school and you'll have to tell them "I was a whore".

Hello. Pastor Al E Pistle,

God Bless you too.. For your information i am married happly married for 15 years.... I really think that your very ignorant for the words you have said to me.... i really thought this forum was filled with peace and respect for others.. but as i can see this forum is not part of God children ....you follow the ......

But i will not get offended and i will leave god to Judge you.... GOD BLESS....
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Jeb Stuart Thurmond Jeb Stuart Thurmond is offline
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Default Re: New to the forum - 04-03-2009, 03:19 AM

Don't panic, Melinda. He said "IF you are in a 'relationship' and aren't married, you are a whore."

He never called you a whore.

Surely your "personal beliefs" include belief in the Bible, which says that non-virgin unmarried women deserve the death penalty: Deuteronomy 22:13-22

And you're worried that some we might offend someone because we judged her? Take a look at Ezekiel 23: the entire chapter is the story of how God punishes a harlot: God has her nose and ears cut off, God has her forced to "pluck off" her own breasts, and then after being raped and mutilated, she is stoned to death.

Wouldn't you rather be warned, regardless of the offensiveness of the warning?

P.S., what would you like guidence on, friend?

PPS EVERYONE ELSE BE NICE! HOW DO WE KNOW HER LAST NAME ISN'T GATES?!?


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Default Re: New to the forum - 04-03-2009, 03:25 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Melinda View Post
Hello. Pastor Al E Pistle,

God Bless you too.. For your information i am married happly married for 15 years.... I really think that your very ignorant for the words you have said to me.... i really thought this forum was filled with peace and respect for others.. but as i can see this forum is not part of God children ....you follow the ......

But i will not get offended and i will leave god to Judge you.... GOD BLESS....

AND FOR YOUR INFORMATION I DID GRADUATE AND I FINISHED COLLEGE...WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING..... ALL YOUR LIFE ..WEARING ADULT DIapers...
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barneyhilliard barneyhilliard is offline
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Default Re: New to the forum - 04-03-2009, 03:25 AM

You are clearly needing some guidance. May I guide you back to the fifth grade to learn how to write and spell properly.


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Jeb Stuart Thurmond Jeb Stuart Thurmond is offline
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Default Re: New to the forum - 04-03-2009, 03:31 AM

Sister Jenny just gave Melinda an infraction, and it contains a very appropriate Bible quote:

Quote:
Melinda, it is very rude for you to come onto our Christian forum, tell Pastor Pistle that you have children and are in a "relationship" without saying "married", and then expect him to use some demonic power (which, being Christian, he does not have) to read your mind and understand that you are married.

If you'd had children out of wedlock, as it appeared, you would be a fornicator.

You presented the appearance of a fornicator. What does God say about that?

1 Thessalonians 5:22
Abstain from all appearance of evil.

Now, I'm sure Pastor Pistle can forgive your incredibly rude outburst; I hope you are also asking Jesus to forgive you for disobeying Him and presenting the appearance of evil.

Yours in Christ,

Jenny
This is a very important part of the Bible, it's why we anyone who gets arrested, or faces police suspition, is guilty of something. Even if that something is having the appearance of evil, it's still something.

That's why we condemn Spanish Catholics who dress up in Klan-like robes and Buddhists who worship the swastika. They aren't Klansmen or Nazis, but it doesn't matter. They look like them, and according to the Bible that's bad enough.


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Default Re: New to the forum - 04-03-2009, 03:32 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
What is this "Guidence" stuff you want? Is your spell check broken? Do you have one of those cheap Pakistani computers with no "Shift" key?

As for your "personal beliefs" about God, they are irrelevant. We follow the KJV Bible to the letter, as God intended. Here's what He says about judging you:



Now then, tell us what you problems are, and try and make a post we can read without using Bablefish.

Pastor Ezekiel:

This is what my bible says about judgement....


Leviticus 1

9:15-18

Listen to this passage

15 " 'Do not pervert justice; do not show partiality to the poor or favoritism to the great, but judge your neighbor fairly.




John 7:24 (The Holy Bible)

24 Stop judging by mere appearances, and make a right judgment."



1 Corinthians 2:15 (The Holy Bible)


P.S. My Laptop is the a advanced HP PAVILLION.. and all my keys are attached...

And never mind i dont need your help i rather stick with my Bible and praying and going to church.....

15 The spiritual man makes judgments about all things, but he himself is not subject to any man's judgment:





1 Timothy 5:20 (The Holy Bible)

20 Those who sin are to be rebuked publicly, so that the others may take warning.
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Melinda is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Melinda is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: New to the forum - 04-03-2009, 03:36 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Thurmond View Post
Don't panic, Melinda. He said "IF you are in a 'relationship' and aren't married, you are a whore."

He never called you a whore.

Surely your "personal beliefs" include belief in the Bible, which says that non-virgin unmarried women deserve the death penalty: Deuteronomy 22:13-22

And you're worried that some we might offend someone because we judged her? Take a look at Ezekiel 23: the entire chapter is the story of how God punishes a harlot: God has her nose and ears cut off, God has her forced to "pluck off" her own breasts, and then after being raped and mutilated, she is stoned to death.

Wouldn't you rather be warned, regardless of the offensiveness of the warning?

P.S., what would you like guidence on, friend?

PPS EVERYONE ELSE BE NICE! HOW DO WE KNOW HER LAST NAME ISN'T GATES?!?

Thank you my friend....

But i am so offended with his words that i really dont need ignorant people in my life like him..... and i know what the bible says.....i read everyday and i live by my lord everyday...
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Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
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One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
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Default Re: New to the forum - 04-03-2009, 03:37 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Melinda View Post
Hello. Pastor Al E Pistle,

God Bless you too.. For your information i am married happly married for 15 years.... I really think that your very ignorant for the words you have said to me.... i really thought this forum was filled with peace and respect for others.. but as i can see this forum is not part of God children ....you follow the ......

But i will not get offended and i will leave god to Judge you.... GOD BLESS....
You sound like a mary worshiper, lady. Where do you get all this "peace and respect" nonsense from? Certainly not the Holy Bible.

Quote:
Suppose ye that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, Nay; but rather division.--Luke 12:51

Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all long suffering and doctrine.--2 Timothy 4:2

If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children,and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.--Luke 14:26
You need to keep your yap shut and start listening to a Man of God like Pastor Pistle, not some boy-buggering papist Antichrist.

Quote:
Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?--Galatians. 4:16


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Jeb Stuart Thurmond Jeb Stuart Thurmond is offline
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Default Re: New to the forum - 04-03-2009, 03:37 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Melinda View Post
Pastor Ezekiel:

15 " 'Do not pervert justice; do not show partiality to the poor or favoritism to the great, but judge your neighbor fairly.
Your husband is the richest man in the entire world, yet we show you no favoratism.

Quote:

24 Stop judging by mere appearances, and make a right judgment."
We don't even know what you look like.

Quote:
15 The spiritual man makes judgments about all things, but he himself is not subject to any man's judgment:
That's us: spiritual men. You are a woman.

Quote:
1 Timothy 5:20 (The Holy Bible)

20 Those who sin are to be rebuked publicly, so that the others may take warning.
That could be our slogan.

So what has it you came her for guidence with?


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Default Re: New to the forum - 04-03-2009, 03:39 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by barneyhilliard View Post
You are clearly needing some guidance. May I guide you back to the fifth grade to learn how to write and spell properly.


I know how to read and write... i guess you really need glasses cause it really looks like you need them.... i am high graduate and i also went to college and graduate ther too... and now I am a Police Officer... so who needs the education now....
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Default Re: New to the forum - 04-03-2009, 03:42 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Melinda View Post
Thank you my friend....

But i am so offended with his words that i really dont need ignorant people in my life like him.....
Of course he was ignorant or your married status, you never told him.

We all felt a surge of adrenelin when we saw your first post. "Relatioship...Children!" Those are two words that are very frightening in the same sentence. It's going to take us some time to cool down. Please don't judge too hastily.

I know women have a weakness for assuming that men can read their minds. "Oh, let's see, she says she's in a relationship and her spelling and grammar are of a Japanese-level of quality, but thanks to my mind-reading abilities I know I can ignore what I'm seeing right in front of my face."

Poor spelling and grammar prove that a person is either uneducated or lazy. So you're not uneducated. Okay, so you're lazy.

I much prefer uneducated.


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Default Re: New to the forum - 04-03-2009, 03:43 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
You sound like a mary worshiper, lady. Where do you get all this "peace and respect" nonsense from? Certainly not the Holy Bible.





You need to keep your yap shut and start listening to a Man of God like Pastor Pistle, not some boy-buggering papist Antichrist.



Yes i get it from the Holy Bile.... ANd i refuse to listen to ignorant people like you and Pastor Pistle.... The only man i listen to is God... my Lord and savior....

so.........SSSSSHHHHHHHHHH.......
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Default Re: New to the forum - 04-03-2009, 03:46 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Thurmond View Post
Of course he was ignorant or your married status, you never told him.

We all felt a surge of adrenelin when we saw your first post. "Relatioship...Children!" Those are two words that are very frightening in the same sentence. It's going to take us some time to cool down. Please don't judge too hastily.


I have a saying and it goes like this: Don't Judge a book by It's Cover and thats what he did.............

But thank you.
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Default Re: New to the forum - 04-03-2009, 03:52 AM

Once again, about books and covers, read:

1 Thessalonians 5:22
Abstain from all appearance of evil.

All this unpleasantness can end right now. All you have to do is say "I repent of violating 1 Thessalonians 5:22, please forgive me, Jesus and Your chosen elect."

P.S. When Obama orders you to take our guns and put us all in FEMA concentration camps, will you obey? Because police have collaborated with all sorts of jack-booted thuggery, from Ruby Ridge to WACO and onwards, see my short list here.


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Default Re: New to the forum - 04-03-2009, 03:53 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Melinda View Post
I have a saying and it goes like this: Don't Judge a book by It's Cover and thats what he did.............

But thank you.
Wrong. He judged you by the evil appearance you presented. He believed that you were intelligent enough to know that an unmarried woman with children must be a whore, and since you didn't say you were married, he logically assumed you were very pleased with your whoredoms.


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Default Re: New to the forum - 04-03-2009, 03:56 AM

[QUOTE=Melinda;312178]I have a saying and it goes like this: Don't Judge a book by It's Cover and thats what he did.............

But thank you. I will leave on my own.... AND may God forgive you all.... cause you were the wrong one and i did not judge....... BUt you all did...

this is no Christan Forum... You are more like the KKK....
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Default Re: New to the forum - 04-03-2009, 04:01 AM

We are commanded by God to judge unaved scum such as yourself.

Quote:
Leviticus 19:15
In righteousness shalt thou judge thy neighbour.

1 Tim 5:20
Them that sin rebuke before all, that others also may fear.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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