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Reload this Page Welcome to HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN
HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN A seasonal forum to NOT celebrate Satan's birthday.

 
 
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Default Welcome to HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN - 10-14-2007, 03:36 PM

The next few weeks will test Jesus' strength as Satan celebrates his birthday, but I'm sure with our help, Jesus will prevail. Be on the lookout for elevated activities amongst Witches, Wiccas, Emos, Goths, Homers, and folks who use ipods.

PS I forgot about Demoncrats, Wal-Mart (for selling Helloween paraphernalia) and Metallica fans, etc...


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Default Re: Welcome to HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN - 10-14-2007, 03:48 PM

I'm Afraid, Mother Glynndie, in fact, I'm terrified of those ipod Homer!s!

So it okay if I just yell a quick Repent! and go get on with the CHRISTMAS Season?

Last week to pay into Christmas Club at the Bank, you know!
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Default Re: Welcome to HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN - 10-15-2007, 04:25 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Glendora Christianson View Post
...and folks who use ipods.
Umm... why are ipods considered evil?


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Default Re: Welcome to HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN - 10-15-2007, 05:13 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Shadow View Post
Umm... why are ipods considered evil?
Because they are made by Apple, a satanic reference to the forbidden fruit.

OK, actually it is because they teach children to stick things in orifices they shouldn't stick things in. Ipods are a gateway sex toy to homerism.


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Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default Re: Welcome to HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN - 10-15-2007, 05:24 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
Because they are made by Apple, a satanic reference to the forbidden fruit.
Apple is headquartered near San Fransissyco so we don't have to state the obvious why they chose a "fruite" as a symbol.

As Pastor Al said, it is short step for Little Jimmy from sticking an ear phone into his ear to Little Jimmy down on skid row letting bums stick their tallywackers into little Jimmy to feed Little Jimmy's crack habit.



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

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Default Re: Welcome to HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN - 10-15-2007, 10:22 PM

HELLoween makes me want puke!
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Default Re: Welcome to HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN - 10-24-2007, 02:29 PM

Dear Pastor Pistle

As my septic tank backs up into my basement every week, I took the opportunity to transform the whole thing into a replica of Dante's 5th circle of hell, complete with the sewer water of the river Styx where the slothful lie gurgling beneath the sludge. A trap door on my front stoop, and a simple slide sends Jehovah's witnesses, Mormons, and Democratic campaign volunteers rocketing into an example of the eternal abyss that surely awaits them.

Now that Helloween is fast approaching, I'm fully anticipating a basement engorged with the high pitched squeals of Power Rangers, Shreks, Spider Men, and other such Satanic spawn.

This will be way more fun that the fully charged tasers that Landover Baptist hands out every 31st of October.



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Default Re: Welcome to HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN - 10-24-2007, 02:36 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by tryork5ifp View Post
Dear Pastor Pistle

As my septic tank backs up into my basement every week, I took the opportunity to transform the whole thing into a replica of Dante's 5th circle of hell, complete with the sewer water of the river Styx where the slothful lie gurgling beneath the sludge. A trap door on my front stoop, and a simple slide sends Jehovah's witnesses, Mormons, and Democratic campaign volunteers rocketing into an example of the eternal abyss that surely awaits them.

Now that Helloween is fast approaching, I'm fully anticipating a basement engorged with the high pitched squeals of Power Rangers, Shreks, Spider Men, and other such Satanic spawn.

This will be way more fun that the fully charged tasers that Landover Baptist hands out every 31st of October.



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Default Re: Welcome to HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN - 10-26-2007, 05:09 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Talitha View Post
That's a satisfactory start, but who are you?
Please say hello in the introduction Forum where you are sure to get a friendly greeting
He's a self-confessed homer. Apparently he kidnaps small children every halloween and keeps them in his basement to sodomize at his liesure.

Yet another reason NOT to allow your children to celebrate satan's birthday.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Welcome to HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN - 10-26-2007, 10:24 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
He's a self-confessed homer. Apparently he kidnaps small children every halloween and keeps them in his basement to sodomize at his liesure.
That'd explain why he reads Catholic literature.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: Welcome to HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN - 10-28-2007, 02:48 AM

My two teenagers just borrowed a couple of large kitchen knives, and now they're over in my neighbor's pumpkin patch with a wheelbarrow.
Should I be concerned?
Usually at this time of year they're just out with their weapons "practicing" for hunting season, harmless fun; But I'm not sure what to make of this wheelbarrow/knife thing. Some new teenage fad?
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Default Re: Welcome to HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN - 10-28-2007, 03:23 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chezund Rice View Post
My two teenagers just borrowed a couple of large kitchen knives, and now they're over in my neighbor's pumpkin patch with a wheelbarrow.
Should I be concerned?
Usually at this time of year they're just out with their weapons "practicing" for hunting season, harmless fun; But I'm not sure what to make of this wheelbarrow/knife thing. Some new teenage fad?
That all depends. Are your neighbors queers, joos or nigras?

Maybe the boys just want to have some fun...


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Welcome to HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN - 11-04-2007, 01:31 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
That all depends. Are your neighbors queers, joos or nigras?

Maybe the boys just want to have some fun...
Nope, all we have is Mexicans and Catholics (ain't that the same thing?).
Turns out all was well, little buggers were just going into business for themselves selling the darn things (seems their Mom told 'em they couldn't have no money for bullets unless they did their chores).
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Default Re: Welcome to HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN - 09-13-2008, 09:40 PM

Halloween is about dressing up and getting and having fun, it has nothing to do with satan.
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Default Re: Welcome to HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN - 09-14-2008, 08:42 AM

Don't forget about that "Cute" little cartoon titled "Its the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown" It may look cute but in reality it is the bait that gets your little spricketts hooked by Satan's fishing rod. This little "Halloween Special" is also laden with the left wing agenda.

1. Linus cries like a little Nancy boy when Lucy plunges the knife into the pumpkin to make Satan's Lantern.

2. Linus tries to convert everyone to his cult, who worships the Great Pumpkin (Obviously Satan) ...note, there is a reference to Santa Claus as well.

3. The Kids attend a party which is totally unsupervised. Lucy (Who incidentally is dressed as a witch, kisses a dog (Snoopy) Satan is sometimes depicted as a dog and in Medieval times and now, when a witch kisses Satan, she is making a pact. Now one could easily argue that Snoopy sneaks into the water tub and Lucy is merely bobbing for apples...well we all know that the apple was the fruit that the serpent used to tempt Eve...nuff said

4. Linus and Sally spend the night alone in the pumpkin patch...unchaperoned.

5. Lucy does a sketch on the back of Charlie Browns head, Don't quote me on this but since we already know that Lucy is a witch , this may suggest that Charlie Brown was chosen for the human sacrifice, or at least took the mark of the beast.

6. While the other kids got candy, Charlie Brown got a bag full of rocks, now some of you may think "Oh poor ole Charlie Brown, got a bag of rocks for Halloween." Well think about this, Halloween, or Samhain is the most important holiday of Satanists and Wiccans, since Wicca is an, or claims to be an "Earth Based" religion and since the rocks come from the earth there you have it....This looney toon suggests that there is a bigger agenda behind the psychedelic animation and the nigra music.

7. Now this next part is a bit tricky so bear with me. This cartoon premiered in 1966, which is considered by Satanists as year one. 1966 was the year that Anton Lavey started the 1st church of Satan. It was also the year that John Lennon stated that the Beatles were "Bigger than Jesus" and it was also the year when Roman Polanski's "Rosemary's Baby" was being filmed ( NO need to explain the can of worms that opened up) I can see how this all comes together. This cartoon was made to indoctrinate little kids and old people to serve sin and satan.
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Default Re: Welcome to HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN - 09-14-2008, 06:56 PM

Do you guys know that helloween is actually a german heavy metal band? Its interesting because a holiday and a heavy metal band are not similar at all. I dont know how holiday= heavy metal, but i am sure you guys figured out a way.
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Default Re: Welcome to HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN - 09-16-2008, 02:29 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
Apple is headquartered near San Fransissyco so we don't have to state the obvious why they chose a "fruite" as a symbol.

As Pastor Al said, it is short step for Little Jimmy from sticking an ear phone into his ear to Little Jimmy down on skid row letting bums stick their tallywackers into little Jimmy to feed Little Jimmy's crack habit.
What the piffle is wrong with you?
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Default Re: Welcome to HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN - 09-16-2008, 07:33 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SavingTheRest View Post
What the piffle is wrong with you?
Watch your tongue heathen! You don't have to get angry because the Godly Pastor has pointed out some facts that you don't like.


Gather around so that I can read to you from my book of TRUTH. Genesis thru Revelations....Pick one!

Luke 12:5- But I will forewarn you whom ye shall fear: Fear him, which after he hath killed hath power to cast into hell; yea, I say unto you, Fear him.
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Default Re: Welcome to HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN - 09-17-2008, 01:50 AM

Well my birthday is on Halloween and I will be 19 this year. Halloween is not satans birthday.
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Default Re: Welcome to HALLOWEEN = HELLOWEEN - 09-17-2008, 02:09 AM

This a joke... right?
 

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