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America's Most Fair and Balanced Judge
True Christian™
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Re: WARNING! Masturbation Causes EarthQuakes and Volcanic Eruptio -
03-20-2011, 02:10 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine
I am talking about the phenomenon which is colloquially referred to as a "wet dream," and which happens when a man is asleep and presumably not touching himself.
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I am troubled by the very idea that some believe the emissions can be made involuntarily by any sane member of the white races. (I'm told coons have a predisposition to be spewing all day and night, with
or without self stimulation, because their primary mission in life is raping white women.)
When I went through the Masturbation Eradication Assistance Program (MEAT) at the Freehold Outreach Center, one of the nay-sayers, attending involuntarily, kept insisting he never touched himself during those nocturnal occasions when he awoke covered in........you know......that stuff.
The instructor challenged the person to spend several nights on a cot right there in the classroom. He was also required to wear boxing gloves when he retired for the evening. Well, after just three nights, the lad was waking in the morning finding his Hello Kitty pajamas just as dry as when he went to bed.
Now, to get back to your problem, I would suggest a two-pronged approach. 1)Try the boxing gloves idea, and, 2)Stop reading dirty magazines in the evening hours and this will suppress unclean thoughts showing up in your dreams.
Try this for the next week and then get back to us with the results.
The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court
"Credo elvem etiam vivere"
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Re: WARNING! Masturbation Causes EarthQuakes and Volcanic Eruptio -
03-20-2011, 08:53 PM
Thank you for your suggestions, but I must clarify one thing: As a recovering porn addict, I do not keep dirty magazines in my home. If you're referring to the Lane Bryant catalog, I have phoned, written and e-mailed those people on numerous occasions demanding to be removed from their mailing list, yet they keep on sending it! I assure you, those catalogs go right in the trash the minute they arrive!
I used to put them in the recycling pile, but I decided it was too much temptation having them sit there. Also, I have discontinued all recycling, as I suspect the whole recycling craze may have some connection to communism and eco-terrorism.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
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Posts: 16
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Re: WARNING! Masturbation Causes EarthQuakes and Volcanic Eruptio -
03-20-2011, 09:02 PM
Yep....sure.... God REALLY sends earthquakes because of masturbation.... How do you even know that Japanese people masturbate? Are you some type of peeping tom?
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,473
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Re: WARNING! Masturbation Causes EarthQuakes and Volcanic Eruptio -
03-20-2011, 09:10 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by serbiangirl
Yep....sure.... God REALLY sends earthquakes because of masturbation.... How do you even know that Japanese people masturbate? Are you some type of peeping tom?
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Oh please, don't act like you don't know what tentacle porn is? The filthy Japs also invented that and Futanari porn. These perversions are also probably why GOD sent his wrath to that island HELL hole.
Don't even get me started on Godzilla. Many a slant eyed female has has plenty of perverted fantasies about him and that tail.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
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Re: WARNING! Masturbation Causes EarthQuakes and Volcanic Eruptio -
03-20-2011, 09:14 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daisy Mae Johnson
Oh please, don't act like you don't know what tentacle porn is? The filthy Japs also invented that and Futanari porn. These perversions are also probably why GOD sent his wrath to that island HELL hole.
Don't even get me started on Godzilla. Many a slant eyed female has has plenty of perverted fantasies about him and that tail.
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Tentacle porn??? That's probably some sick thing you dreamed up, as well as the Godzilla tail. Sickening! :puke:
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Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
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Re: WARNING! Masturbation Causes EarthQuakes and Volcanic Eruptio -
03-20-2011, 09:26 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by serbiangirl
Tentacle porn??? That's probably some sick thing you dreamed up, as well as the Godzilla tail. Sickening! :puke:
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Tentacle Porn.
Godzilla Porn.
There is nothing these sick freaks won't turn into sex.
Seriously. There's something very wrong with them.
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Confirmed Enemy of God
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Re: WARNING! Masturbation Causes EarthQuakes and Volcanic Eruptio -
03-20-2011, 09:55 PM
Uhhhh....What????
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Re: WARNING! Masturbation Causes EarthQuakes and Volcanic Eruptio -
03-20-2011, 10:07 PM
"Lila Petrovic?" That sounds like an awfully Serbian name.
Hmmm...
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Re: WARNING! Masturbation Causes EarthQuakes and Volcanic Eruptio -
03-20-2011, 10:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine
"Lila Petrovic?" That sounds like an awfully Serbian name.
Hmmm...
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I'm Serbian, and I know serbiangirl. She's my cousin. She called me and told me of this site when you quarentined her. So, I made a account to see what was said.
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Apostle to the Samites and Laplander Eskimos.
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Posts: 5,720
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Location: Surrounded by feral eskimos.
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Re: WARNING! Masturbation Causes EarthQuakes and Volcanic Eruptio -
03-20-2011, 10:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lila Petrovic
I made a account to see what was said.
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Yes, she is so full of hatred. It is good that you see with your own eyes what kind of person she really is.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
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Re: WARNING! Masturbation Causes EarthQuakes and Volcanic Eruptio -
03-20-2011, 10:27 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alphonse Alban
Yes, she is so full of hatred. It is good that you see with your own eyes what kind of person she really is.
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I don't think I see it. I mean, that's how everyone is in the Balkans, Croats and Bosnians and Serbs all against each other. I wish it wouldn;t be that way, but what can you do?
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Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
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Posts: 14,454
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Location: The other end of the internet
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Re: WARNING! Masturbation Causes EarthQuakes and Volcanic Eruptio -
03-20-2011, 10:29 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lila Petrovic
I don't think I see it. I mean, that's how everyone is in the Balkans, Croats and Bosnians and Serbs all against each other. I wish it wouldn;t be that way, but what can you do?
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Wild and crazy idea: STOP.
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Re: WARNING! Masturbation Causes EarthQuakes and Volcanic Eruptio -
03-20-2011, 10:36 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Didymus Much
Wild and crazy idea: STOP.
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THis is a deep rooted hatred between all peoples of the Balkans. I don't think you could just snap your fingers and it'd all be over. It takes time to forget past wrongs.
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Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
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Posts: 14,454
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Location: The other end of the internet
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Re: WARNING! Masturbation Causes EarthQuakes and Volcanic Eruptio -
03-20-2011, 10:43 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lila Petrovic
THis is a deep rooted hatred between all peoples of the Balkans. I don't think you could just snap your fingers and it'd all be over. It takes time to forget past wrongs.
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Learning is what takes time. Forgetting is instantaneous. You just have to want to.
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Re: WARNING! Masturbation Causes EarthQuakes and Volcanic Eruptio -
03-20-2011, 10:54 PM
Lila, thank you for admitting that you are Serbian Girl's troll account. Please do not allow Didyus to lead you astray with his nonsense. We all know that a lasting peace will be achieved in the Balkans when all of the various people there, regardless of whatever racial handicap they may be suffering from, accept our Lord Jesus Christ as their savior.
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
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Re: WARNING! Masturbation Causes EarthQuakes and Volcanic Eruptio -
04-09-2011, 04:39 AM
In these last days JESUS warned us of this happening as a prophetic biblical event signaling his return.
***Christians**** there is no Victory without a fight! and it is a fight against Spiritual Darkness and the Antichrist...
EPHESIANS 6:12
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms...
The Demons are out of the Abyss, we know this from the Massive worldwide earthquakes, sinkholes that free the demons (Under the earth) to once again walk the earth and with Satan looking for souls to devour....
They are deceiving people by saying HELL does not exist, and are trying to take it out of the Holy Word of the Most High GOD....
JESUS WARNED OF THIS AS WELL...
REVELATION 22:19
And if anyone takes words away from this book of prophecy, God will take away from him his share in the tree of life and in the holy city, which are described in this book.
They are mocking Jesus at anytime they can. The DEMONS can over-power any Physical Being that is not protected by the Greatest Power of all The HOLY SPIRIT OF JESUS CHRIST!
Time is short friends, everyone knows it, Come to know the LORD JESUS CHRIST and be saved!
*Those who call on the name of the LORD will be saved* JESUS knows your heart!
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Master of Biblical Study and Ancient Languages With Jesus now.
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,474
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Miniscule Ohio town about which nobody heard
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Re: WARNING! Masturbation Causes EarthQuakes and Volcanic Eruptio -
04-09-2011, 01:11 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lila Petrovic
Quote:
Originally Posted by Didymus Much
Wild and crazy idea: STOP.
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THis is a deep rooted hatred between all peoples of the Balkans. I don't think you could just snap your fingers and it'd all be over. It takes time to forget past wrongs.
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It stopped under Tito, didn't it? He just snapped his fingers and anyone who didn't obey was killed. People will do all kinds of things to escape death, even pretend the fantasy was real. Tito proved that.
YiJC, BS
II Peter 1:4 -- Whereby are giuen vnto vs exceeding great and precious promises, that by these you might bee partakers of thy diuine nature, hauing escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 2
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Re: WARNING! Masturbation Causes EarthQuakes and Volcanic Eruptio -
04-14-2011, 01:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daisy Mae Johnson
Spilled Seed Sperm souls go to STRAIGHT to HELL!
This is why there have been so many volcanic eruptions and Earthquakes lately.
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I may have just created an earthquake while looking at your profile picture Daisy
I think I might give it 30mins and see if I can rub out a volcano before bed
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 12
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: China
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Re: WARNING! Masturbation Causes EarthQuakes and Volcanic Eruptio -
04-14-2011, 02:03 PM
Masturbation causes Earthquakes and volcanoes eh.. This is good news! I'm going to Arabia a.s.a.p to masturbate (I would be very grateful if anyone could tell me how to masturbate.)
Time to wank havoc on those filthy muslims, if they can blow themselves up and misuse public transportation the least I can do is to masturbate.
I'm willing to sacrifice myself and my unborn to get rid of the terrorists. Anyone care to join?
Sincerely,
Johan
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,984
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: WARNING! Masturbation Causes EarthQuakes and Volcanic Eruptio -
04-14-2011, 04:25 PM
Moderators, please ban "Animate Saith" for cyber-harassing Daisy Mae Johnson!
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