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Saved Like a Mo-Fo
True Christian™
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Posts: 22
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: South Central Libertydale, yo
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The Parabizzle of Lazarus and the Big Mack Daddy -
01-30-2010, 03:03 AM
This shiznit be from the Gizzospel of D.J. Lukey Luke, 16:22-31.
There was this fly pimp who walked around all decked out in purple, and there was this stanky-ass bum named Lazarus all covered in sores and shit hanging out at his gate. Damn dogs was lickin at his sores and shit too, this motherf--ker was nasty.
OK, now both of these motherf--kers died, right. Lazaras's ass went to heaven to hang out with Papa Abe. The rich ass bastard went to hell, but his ass could look out across and see Lazarus and Abraham from there. He holla'd out, "Yo, Papa Abe! My ass is parched in this damn fire. Can you help a brother out with a drop a water?"
But Papa Abe said, "Nigga, please! In yo life yo ass was livin large, and Lazarus didn't have shit. Now you is cryin like a bitch while Lazarus is cold chillin. The tables is done turnt now, sucka! Anyway, you see that motherf--cking chasm between us? I couldn't bring yo perpetratin ass any water even if I wanted to, which I don't."
Now this hater axes if his posse back on earth can get a warning, but Papa Abe says they ass has already done been warned in the Bible. If they is too stupid to believe the Bible, then why the hell would they believe some zombie-ass f--ker back from the dead?
Who am I? Check out my 411 here.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 309
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: n/a
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Re: The Parabizzle of Lazarus and the Big Mack Daddy -
01-30-2010, 03:25 AM
Eh?
Perhaps you should check into our Ex-Negro Ministry.
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Saved Like a Mo-Fo
True Christian™
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Posts: 22
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: South Central Libertydale, yo
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Re: The Parabizzle of Lazarus and the Big Mack Daddy -
01-30-2010, 03:31 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jacob11
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Cracker, please. My ass is a guest MC at the ex-negro mizzlestrizzle. I gots me a damn honorary degree.
Who am I? Check out my 411 here.
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Unsaved trash
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Posts: 220
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Making bombs in my basement
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Re: The Parabizzle of Lazarus and the Big Mack Daddy -
01-30-2010, 03:36 AM
Salaam'un Aleykum
Peace be upon those who follow the True Path.
This man has proven to us all how badly the Christian Scriptures are always being corrupted. Which version of the Bible shall we call this? And does it come with a 18+ warning sticker since you altered it to include swear words?
The Noble Qu'ran, my infidel friend, is NEVER changed. Unlike your Bible which gets changed whenever people feel like it.
I invite you all to Islam.
Surah 4:169 O people of the Book! do not exceed in your religion, nor say against God aught save the truth. The Messiah, Jesus the son of Mary, is but the apostle of God ... say not "Trinity." Desist! it will be better for you. God is only one God, far be it for Him that He should beget a Son!
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 309
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: n/a
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Re: The Parabizzle of Lazarus and the Big Mack Daddy -
01-30-2010, 03:45 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by TruePath
Salaam'un Aleykum
Peace be upon those who follow the True Path.
This man has proven to us all how badly the Christian Scriptures are always being corrupted. Which version of the Bible shall we call this? And does it come with a 18+ warning sticker since you altered it to include swear words?
The Noble Qu'ran, my infidel friend, is NEVER changed. Unlike your Bible which gets changed whenever people feel like it.
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It shouldn't...
Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye diminish ought from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the LORD your God which I command you. (Deuteronomy 4:2)
Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar. (Proverbs 30:5-6)
The only true Bible is the 1611KJV, and that stays the same.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TruePath
I invite you all to Islam.
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You're lucky I don't stone you for saying that.
If thy brother, the son of thy mother, or thy son, or thy daughter, or the wife of thy bosom, or thy friend, which is as thine own soul, entice thee secretly, saying, Let us go and serve other gods, which thou hast not known, thou, nor thy fathers;
Namely, of the gods of the people which are round about you, nigh unto thee, or far off from thee, from the one end of the earth even unto the other end of the earth;
Thou shalt not consent unto him, nor hearken unto him; neither shall thine eye pity him, neither shalt thou spare, neither shalt thou conceal him:
But thou shalt surely kill him; thine hand shall be first upon him to put him to death, and afterwards the hand of all the people. And thou shalt stone him with stones, that he die; because he hath sought to thrust thee away from the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage.
(Deuteronomy 13:6-10)
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Saved Like a Mo-Fo
True Christian™
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Posts: 22
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: South Central Libertydale, yo
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Re: The Parabizzle of Lazarus and the Big Mack Daddy -
01-30-2010, 04:12 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by TruePath
This man has proven to us all how badly the Christian Scriptures are always being corrupted. Which version of the Bible shall we call this? And does it come with a 18+ warning sticker since you altered it to include swear words?
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Yo Habib I ain't writin no new versions. I'm just breaking it down and making it real for my homies.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TruePath
The Noble Qu'ran, my infidel friend, is NEVER changed. Unlike your Bible which gets changed whenever people feel like it.
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Like my man Cracker Jake said, the KJV is the real shizzle fo rizzle, and you on here talkin bout some Qu'ran. Yo sand-honky ass might as well be pushin Dianetics. Mohammad won't nothin but a medieval Elron Hubbard, bitch.
Who am I? Check out my 411 here.
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LBC psychiatric outpatient. Progressing nicely.
True Christian™
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Posts: 989
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, IA
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Re: The Parabizzle of Lazarus and the Big Mack Daddy -
01-30-2010, 04:15 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.Pastor Bizzle-Rizzle
I gots me a damn honorary degree.
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i lurve a christain man wiv them classy edumacations an i thinks i gots a liddle crush on you!
that be me Mrs.Petal Bizzle-Rizzle ---> <--- an that be you cept you be a pink neegrow
Quote:
Originally Posted by PooPath
I invite you all to Islam.
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you needs to leaves Mr.Pastor Bizzle-Rizzle's thread rite nows
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 309
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: n/a
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Re: The Parabizzle of Lazarus and the Big Mack Daddy -
01-30-2010, 04:19 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Petal
i lurve a christain man wiv them classy edumacations an i thinks i gots a liddle crush on you!
that be me Mrs.Petal Bizzle-Rizzle ---> <--- an that be you cept you be a pink neegrow
you needs to leaves Mr.Pastor Bizzle-Rizzle's thread rite nows
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And Isaac called Jacob, and blessed him, and charged him, and said unto him, Thou shalt not take a wife of the daughters of Canaan. (Genesis 28:1)
I would assume this applies to a woman taking a husband of the sons of Canaan, as well.
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LBC psychiatric outpatient. Progressing nicely.
True Christian™
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Posts: 989
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, IA
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Re: The Parabizzle of Lazarus and the Big Mack Daddy -
01-30-2010, 04:43 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jacob11
And Isaac called Jacob, and blessed him, and charged him, and said unto him, Thou shalt not take a wife of the daughters of Canaan. (Genesis 28:1)
I would assume this applies to a woman taking a husband of the sons of Canaan, as well.
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that be true, Mr.Jacob11, an i repents of my lustfull thawts abouts the bootiful brainiack pastor
i gonna leaves this thread nows
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 1
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Chattanooga, TN
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Re: The Parabizzle of Lazarus and the Big Mack Daddy -
02-05-2010, 08:55 PM
Hon, when I wuz little, I would tell my Granny I wanted sumpin', and she always say, "People in Hell want ice water, but that don' mean they gits it!"
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,438
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: The Parabizzle of Lazarus and the Big Mack Daddy -
02-05-2010, 10:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Levitra P Jones
Hon, when I wuz little, I would tell my Granny I wanted sumpin', and she always say, "People in Hell want ice water, but that don' mean they gits it!"
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Your grandmother was a wise woman.
But what is wrong with your English? It seems to me your father failed to home school you properly: Ephesians 6:4 "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.".
And everyone knows a good education is very important! God demands it: Deuteronomy 6:5-8 "And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes."
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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