General Church Fellowship A place for True Christians to join in praise, faith and fellowship. |
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True Christian™ Princess The Driving Force behind RA12 Have at it, anytime!
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Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
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Blessed Birthday, HUMONGOUS! -
02-13-2012, 10:23 PM
For your Birth-day, instead of just a little old Cake....
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!
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Warning: In case of Rapture, this account will be unmanned.
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Posts: 7,220
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Blessed Birthday, HUMONGOUS! -
02-14-2012, 12:18 AM
Happy Birthday Humongous. I'm sure you'll get to meet Peyton Manning someday.
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,424
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: Blessed Birthday, HUMONGOUS! -
02-14-2012, 12:55 AM
When do I get that cow back that you borrowed?
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: Blessed Birthday, HUMONGOUS! -
02-14-2012, 01:10 AM
Happy Birthday, young person! I shipped off a dozen of these for you this mroning. I hope they were still warm when you got them
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Landover Senior Outreach Touching Men, Women and Children with the Good News!
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,237
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Freehold Senior Estates
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Re: Blessed Birthday, HUMONGOUS! -
02-14-2012, 01:26 AM
Happy Birthday, you corn-fed hunk of a gal!
I thought a practical gift for the trailer would be best.
May Christ bless your special day!
Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,730
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Blessed Birthday, HUMONGOUS! -
02-14-2012, 02:27 AM
A most blessed birthday to you, Humongous!
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
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Re: Blessed Birthday, HUMONGOUS! -
02-14-2012, 04:08 AM
I Hope You Are TreatedLike A "FAT CAT" on Your Special Day!
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Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,223
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Thong-infested Florida©
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Re: Blessed Birthday, HUMONGOUS! -
02-14-2012, 04:10 AM
Happy birthday young lady!
Z.
Posted via Mobile Device
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,980
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: Blessed Birthday, HUMONGOUS! -
02-14-2012, 06:04 AM
Happy birthday, Lori! When are you gonna invite us all down to your "holler?"
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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With faith as immovable as the Earth
True Christian™
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Posts: 4,779
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Body in England but HEART IN FREEHOLD!
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Re: Blessed Birthday, HUMONGOUS! -
02-14-2012, 07:30 AM
Proverbs 15:30 The light of the eyes rejoiceth the heart: and a good report maketh the bones fat.
Happy Birthday you big boned lovely,
Jack
Genesis 22:2 And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.
I know God wouldn't let me believe in Him if He didn't exist.
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Ms. Sham Wow 2011
Forum Member
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Posts: 263
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Defeated, TN
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Re: Blessed Birthday, HUMONGOUS! -
02-14-2012, 02:19 PM
Awwww.
God Bless y'all, brothers and sisters! Y'all all sure know how to make a gal feel special on her birthday? It's been great so far, after my morning prayers, I went for a frigid chunky dunk in the bog.
Afterwards I checked my traps and they yielded up some succulent rodents for baking! I'm all out of bakers chocolate, sos ima melt down some of these here chocolate ex-lax, and dip some opossum gibbets in that, Praise God!
Dr. Tittleman will be coming by later to snap some Polaroids of my hooves for his research? Then Cousin Jeb will be commin by with one of his famous Hog's Bladder Pies! We'll most likely get real festive with my Amy Grant cassette tape, and enjoy some True Christian™ Fellowship between bathroom breaks! It's going to be great!
Thank y'all all so much, and God Bless!
Genesis 1:24
And God said, "Let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: livestock, creatures that move along the ground, and wild animals, each according to its kind: and it was so."
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True Christian™ Princess The Driving Force behind RA12 Have at it, anytime!
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Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
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Re: Blessed Birthday, HUMONGOUS! -
02-14-2012, 03:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Humongous
Afterwards I checked my traps and they yielded up some succulent rodents for baking! I'm all out of bakers chocolate, sos ima melt down some of these here chocolate ex-lax, and dip some opossum gibbets in that, Praise God!
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In some states, it's now Legal to Eat your road-Kill, too! Praise!
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 345
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: In my prayer closet
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Re: Blessed Birthday, HUMONGOUS! -
02-14-2012, 04:19 PM
Blessed birthday! May Jesus give you a good one! His love is the best gift, after all!
1 Corinthians 14:34 Shut up and get back in the kitchen!
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,980
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: Blessed Birthday, HUMONGOUS! -
02-14-2012, 05:53 PM
Hooves!?
Do you divideth the hoof? And what about cud? Do you cheweth the cud?
I guess it's academic, as I don't intend to eat you.
Quote:
Leviticus 11:6
6And the hare, because he cheweth the cud, but divideth not the hoof; he is unclean unto you.
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WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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Ms. Sham Wow 2011
Forum Member
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Posts: 263
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Defeated, TN
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Re: Blessed Birthday, HUMONGOUS! -
02-14-2012, 08:17 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine
Hooves!?
Do you divideth the hoof?
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well, they aint really hooves. Some of them ornery snapping turtles bit off the center 3 toes on my feets while I was swimmin in the bog one Summer? Hoowee, it hurt like the dickens! but only for a little while, some of that industrial waste in the bog waters cauterized the stumps, and my remainin toes kind of fused together to form a queer fleshly mass? they don't hurt none, and dr. tittleman says they is breathtaking to look at. And he sure does look at them often, ever since he lost his job down at the Defeated, TN Footlocker.
YIC,
Lori H
Genesis 1:24
And God said, "Let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: livestock, creatures that move along the ground, and wild animals, each according to its kind: and it was so."
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 516
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Mission for Men, topeka Kansas
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Re: Blessed Birthday, HUMONGOUS! -
02-14-2012, 08:20 PM
You be sure to offer them some of your pie, if you have any!
I sure wish i could have some of that! I can practically smell it from here!
YUM
Therefore hath the curse devoured the earth, and they that dwell therein are desolate: therefore the inhabitants of the earth are burned, and few men left. -- Isaiah 24:6 KJV
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Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,980
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
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Re: Blessed Birthday, HUMONGOUS! -
02-15-2012, 02:29 AM
He's a Doctor, you say? And he got fired from Footlocker? I sure hope he isn't this guy.
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
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