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False Religions and Cults Catholics, Wiccans, Lutherans, Satanists, Mormons, and more!

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Default Those Witness People! - 02-01-2011, 12:28 AM

There I was minding my own business in the privacy of my single family home, reading the Scripture and highlighting a favorite passage with my new set of markers.

Then, all of the sudden the doorbell rang. Well, there were two large Nigra womenfolk at my door. Can you imagine?

They jabbered on about some Jehovah Witness gobbledygook! I was stunned and afraid, but insisted that I know Jesus much better than they do and sent them on their way with a good door slamming!

When our dear sister Sarah Palin becomes President, will she be able to enact legislation to outlaw all these Satanic Cults?



In Christ,
- Bernice


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Servicing Jesus since the Nixon Administration
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Oakland "Reb" Griner Oakland "Reb" Griner is offline
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Default Re: Those Witness People! - 02-01-2011, 12:32 AM

For a second there, Bernice, I thought you were posting from Freehold!

That would indeed be a major security breach!

But I see you are posting from liberal Lima, Ohio. Well, I am sure Jehovah's Witlesses are as common as illegal Messicans there.

I do admit some surprise, I did not know the Jehovah bunch employed negresses.

. . . or was that the Mormons?


Jud 1:15 To execute judgment upon all, and to convince all that are unGodly among them of all their unGodly deeds which they have unGodly committed, and of all their hard [speeches] which unGodly sinners have spoken against him.
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Default Re: Those Witness People! - 02-01-2011, 03:31 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bernice Gratsch View Post
When our dear sister Sarah Palin becomes President, will she be able to enact legislation to outlaw all these Satanic Cults?
Well... the President is not one to enact legislation... that would be the legislative branch. Are you home-schooled like the other Baptwits here?

As for the Alaskan load-catcher... she is, to my knowledge, an Assemblies of God type and they are basically Pantycoastals anyhow meaning her cultish off-shoot is no more Christian than those in the Jehovah's Wetness programme.




Bless you, my demonstrably dim doryphore,
Father Mo





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Default Re: Those Witness People! - 02-01-2011, 12:50 PM

I remember the last time those false Christians™ came to my door. I was sitting at my kitchen table reading Revelations (my favorite book of the Bible) when I heard a knock upon my door. I went to answer and found two people holding pamphlets about whatever heresy they were spreading and they had the nerve to ask me, "When you die.....are you sure your soul will go to Heaven™?" To which I replied, "Yes.....I will go to Heaven™. Jesus™ loves me as much as I love Him, which is more than I can say for you and your so called religion. Now kindly remove yourselves from my doorstep before I am forced to do God's work™ and send you to the fiery pit that you will no doubt end up in anyway. And take that pedophile catholic neighbor of mine with you."


I am happy to report, that these heretics have not been back since.






Praise Jesus™!!!!


[Rev 19:20] And the beast was taken, and with him the false prophet that wrought miracles before him, with which he deceived them that had received the mark of the beast, and them that worshipped his image. These both were cast alive into a lake of fire burning with brimstone


PALIN/BACHMAN 2016

With their husbands permission of course
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Gabriel Reproba Gabriel Reproba is offline
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Default Re: Those Witness People! - 02-01-2011, 01:00 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Oakland "Reb" Griner View Post
I do admit some surprise, I did not know the Jehovah bunch employed negresses.

. . . or was that the Mormons?
It is the mormons. I lived in Baltimore for quite some time and let me tell you, if you walk by the Lexington Market at lunch time all you see are blacks dressed in, what is for them, fine clothes passing out copies of the Watchtower. I had to run that gauntlet many times as I visited the U of MD School of Law for a semester.

Jesus abhors these false prophets:
Quote:
1 John 4:1 (King James Version)
1Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.


Yours In Christ,

Gabriel Reproba, Esq. (Lawyer for the Lord)

Further reading to help you become a True Christian™

Stoning Sinners: A How-To Guide
Scientific Study: Bible is NOT "All About Love"
The One Sin Jesus Says He Won't EVER Forgive!
Should we only follow SOME of the Bible?
How will YOU sacrifice your kids?
20 Questions To See If Your Son Is A Fag
God: Dress Like A Whore...Get Raped!
Bible: If You Love Your Wife, Beat Her!
Logic and Bible Agree: Gay is a choice!
Nursery Rhymes Teach kids that Christ is Lord!
There is no such thing as an "agnostic!"
Science: People are Only Islamic Because They are Depressed!

Reading only the parts of the Bible your pastor tells you to (those that make you feel warm and fuzzy) is nothing but mental and spiritual masturbation. Read the WHOLE Bible to find out what Christianity is REALLY all about! Only then can you talk to us about why we try so hard to save people from Hell.
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