[Pastor Ezekiel]

Well get ready for a good knee-slappin', belly-jigglin' laugh Brothers and sisters in Christ. It seems that the chink witches have gotten together again to predict that this year, which they call a "pig year", will be full of misery and disaster. THIS is enough to make any True Christian™ bust a gut.

Fortune: Year of Pig will bring disaster

HONG KONG - Sunday marks the start of the Chinese New Year and it's a lucky one for those starting out in life. But the rest of us are in for a rough ride. Expect epidemics, disasters and violence in much of the world.

"The Year of the Pig will not be very peaceful," said Hong Kong feng shui master Raymond Lo.

Feng shui is the ancient Chinese practice of trying to achieve health, harmony and prosperity by using specific dates, numbers, building design and the placement of objects.

The pig is one of 12 animals (or mythical animals in the case of the dragon) on the 12-year cycle of the Chinese zodiac, which follows the lunar calendar. According to Chinese astrology, people born in pig years are polite, honest, hardworking and loyal. They are also lucky, which is why many Chinese like to have babies in a pig year.

"Any children born in The Year of Pig will receive help from others throughout their lives," Lo said.

Ronald Reagan was a pig. So are Arnold Schwarzenegger, Woody Allen and Elton John. Not to mention Hillary Rodham Clinton.

But a word of caution to the presidential candidate.

The pig finished last in the race that determined the zodiac's order, behind the dog.

Other animals in the zodiac are the rat, ox, tiger, rabbit, dragon, snake, horse, sheep, monkey and rooster. The zodiac runs on a 12-year cycle, and each year is associated with the five elements that Chinese mystics make up the universe: metal, water, wood, fire and earth.

Therein lies the trouble.

Pig years can be turbulent because they are dominated by fire and water, conflicting elements that tend to cause havoc, Lo said.

"Fire sitting on water is a symbol of conflict and skirmish," he said. "We'll also see more fire disasters and bombings."

He noted that the Russian AK-47 rifle, a weapon of choice among insurgents around the world, was invented during a pig year.

"So it will not be surprising to see more gun battles, murder with guns and bombing attacks in 2007," he said.

Malaysian feng shui master Lillian Too agreed.

"I wish I could say that there won't be natural disasters, but I am afraid it could be as bad as last year," she said.

"There could be epidemics," she said. "I am very worried about bird flu. Eat healthy foods and take care of your health."

"Because of the water element in the Year of the Pig, the economy will continue to grow, which also paves the way for another round of interest rate hikes," said Peter So, a celebrity fortuneteller in Hong Kong.

Hong Kong soothsayer Alion Yeo is predicting North Korea will undergo a power struggle that will bring leadership changes around May. Last year, the Year of the Dog, Yeo warned that the North Korean nuclear crisis would worsen.

Singapore fortuneteller John Lok predicted the situation in Iraq will not settle and President Bush will have a bad year.

The only ones who are destined to "have a bad year" are these filthy heathens who go against everything God said by making predictions based on this gook witchcraft nonsense.

Jeremiah 14:14 Then the LORD said unto me, The prophets prophesy lies in my name: I sent them not, neither have I commanded them, neither spake unto them: they prophesy unto you a false vision and divination, and a thing of nought, and the deceit of their heart.

Leviticus 20:27 A man also or woman that hath a familiar spirit, or that is a wizard, shall surely be put to death: they shall stone them with stones: their blood shall be upon them

[Petal]

Originally Posted by Mr.Pastor Ezekiel

It seems that the chink witches have gotten together again to predict that this year, which they call a "pig year", will be full of misery and disaster.

i bet them Jooz be real nervy this year cuz 2007 not kosher!

[OnYourKnees]

More idiotic superstition, with no foundation in either God OR human logic!

"The Year of the Pig will not be very peaceful," said Hong Kong feng shui master Raymond Lo.

Feng shui is the ancient Chinese practice of trying to achieve health, harmony and prosperity by using specific dates, numbers, building design and the placement of objects.

What in the world has that to do with predicting the future?

Zip, zero, and zilch. Sounds like this interior designer Lo is reaching for new income streams, to me!

Ronald Reagan was a pig. So are Arnold Schwarzenegger, Woody Allen and Elton John. Not to mention Hillary Rodham Clinton.

But a word of caution to the presidential candidate.

The pig finished last in the race that determined the zodiac's order, behind the dog.

Um . . . We all agree that Hellion Ramrod Clittongue is a pig; but Ronald Reagan had two consecutive terms. So what was the dimwitted author's point again?

"Fire sitting on water is a symbol of conflict and skirmish," he said. "We'll also see more fire disasters and bombings."

He noted that the Russian AK-47 rifle, a weapon of choice among insurgents around the world, was invented during a pig year.

"So it will not be surprising to see more gun battles, murder with guns and bombing attacks in 2007," he said.

Um . . . and what year of the Furry Zodiac was it when the atomic bomb was invented? Better find out . . . that'd be LOTS of fire!!

[Deaner]

I thank Jesus everyday I'm not a chink. I mean you have an entire race of people that eat dogs & animal penises; kill their female babies; live in huts with sixty of their relatives...all the while speaking gibberish and slapping each other. And now they say it's going to get worse.

Thank God I'm an American.

Dean

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Let us not too be harsh on the slants! Remember, they do serve a purpose after all. They've been generous in lending the US trillions of dollars, and are still convinced that they're going to get it back! What part of "we want to borrow more" don't they understand? Sometimes Jesus puts stupid people on earth for a reason, in His Infinite Wisdom.

[Brother Love]

Bahh!! Year of the Pig, indeed. This is yet another year of JESUS! Leave it to those slants to come up with something vile, evil, and ignorant. And BTW those chinks are STILL good at doing LAUNDRY! I have a slant working in my laundry room at home. His name is Hop-Sing and boy, O BOY does he do up the laundry really good! I notice he really takes XTRA care in laundering my boxer shorts for some reason. Nicely folded and even ironed, mind ya!! And let me tell ya'll something else. There ain't no stain in the world that Hop-Sing can't get out!

PRAISE JESUS!!

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Have we forgotten that Pigs are succulent, juicy and ever so excellent when slow roasted over a BBQ pit like we do several times a year at our Landover Cookouts.

Pastor Zeke is the best BBQer Ever!

PRAISE JESUS and GLORY be HIS Name!

With Love, Sister Thumper

p/s: Don't forget the Dicken's Cider!

[OnYourKnees]

Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde

Have we forgotten that Pigs are succulent, juicy and ever so excellent when slow roasted over a BBQ pit like we do several times a year at our Landover Cookouts.

Pastor Zeke is the best BBQer Ever!

PRAISE JESUS and GLORY be HIS Name!

With Love, Sister Thumper

I do hope the pastor hasn't been getting his suckling pigs from the Heath & Sons Butcher Shop.

For some reason, I'm wary of them.

Do Asian werewolves practice Fang Shui? Just wondering.

Anyway, does anyone else have insights on this Feng Shui superstitious nonsense?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde

Have we forgotten that Pigs are succulent, juicy and ever so excellent when slow roasted over a BBQ pit like we do several times a year at our Landover Cookouts.

Pastor Zeke is the best BBQer Ever!

PRAISE JESUS and GLORY be HIS Name!

With Love, Sister Thumper

p/s: Don't forget the Dicken's Cider!

You know, it just occurred to me; those diaper-headed, camel-loving sand nigras must be plenty steamed at the slants over this. There is nothing a mudslime hate worse than pork.

Just one more reason to hate them I suppose, but I'll bet Jesus is getting a laugh out of this.