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Reload this Page The Official ANAL SEX Discussion Thread
Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you).

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Default Re: The Official ANAL SEX Discussion Thread - 02-29-2012, 04:48 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
Before this thread, I never knew women did this! I mean, it simply doesn't make logical sense - why would a woman pretend to be a man who is pretending to be a woman? I had no idea women would allow themselves to be so demeaned.



It's like future President Santorum says, it's such a shame when a society embraces the depravities of sex-for-pleasure, disregarding the obvious procreative function.
How many times Sister Etherldreda have you heard a lady friends of your's say "I must be a gay guy trapped in a woman's body" That is the type of women who tried to turn men gay for her own depraved sexual pleasure. As you correctly point out these women dress like transitives. Logically any man who beds her is just to have gay sex.

Bottom line; gay sex with a woman is still gay sex.



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Default Re: The Official ANAL SEX Discussion Thread - 02-29-2012, 05:46 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by mickinthebush View Post
This forum is so awesome! As a practising anal-prober, I've got to say - try it, you may like it! I also like mutual wanking, oral and frot. If any of you guys out there would like to do these things with me, shoot me a line!
No thanks, you degenerate scumbag. And here is just a short list of what is in store for you as long as you center your life around homo-rectal intercourse instead of Jesus Christ.

Anal Cancer
Chlamydia trachomatis
Cryptosporidium
Giardia lamblia
Herpes simplex virus
Human immunodeficiency virus
Human papilloma virus
Isospora belli
Microsporidia
Gonorrhea
Viral hepatitis types B & C
Syphilis

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Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."

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Default Re: The Official ANAL SEX Discussion Thread - 02-29-2012, 06:47 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
How many times Sister Etherldreda have you heard a lady friends of your's say "I must be a gay guy trapped in a woman's body" That is the type of women who tried to turn men gay for her own depraved sexual pleasure. As you correctly point out these women dress like transitives. Logically any man who beds her is just to have gay sex.
Is this why that Ellen Degenerate woman always wears pants?



I'm proud to say I have never worn slacks, nor have any of my daughters. I had no idea such depravity existed in the world. I learn so much here. I am truly grateful to you men who are patient and kind enough to slow down and explain these things to me. Thank you all.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
Bottom line; gay sex with a woman is still gay sex.
O Come Lord Jesus.


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: The Official ANAL SEX Discussion Thread - 02-29-2012, 06:50 PM

Well, it's official, no more oranges in the Creeser household.

After reading this thread about the sins, health risks and shear ugliness that is anal sex my wife brought me an orange. It is now clear to me oranges are of the devil and promote anal sex. Not in my house
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Default Re: The Official ANAL SEX Discussion Thread - 02-29-2012, 06:54 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by John Creeser View Post
Well, it's official, no more oranges in the Creeser household.


Brother Creeser, perhaps you could put a warning on this photo so other unsuspecting ladies don't suffer shock!


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: The Official ANAL SEX Discussion Thread - 02-29-2012, 07:23 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post


Brother Creeser, perhaps you could put a warning on this photo so other unsuspecting ladies don't suffer shock!
I'm sorry Sister, but I think we need the shock value to discourage our fellow members from purchasing the anal sex promoting orange.

I can't believe I haven't noticed before.
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Default Re: The Official ANAL SEX Discussion Thread - 02-29-2012, 08:10 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by John Creeser View Post
I'm sorry Sister, but I think we need the shock value to discourage our fellow members from purchasing the anal sex promoting orange.
My hood is off to your brother for drawing a line in your sand that Satan can't cross with the devil's anal sex.
Quote:
Originally Posted by John Creeser View Post
I can't believe I haven't noticed before.
That's because Satan is tricky and has a lot of scientists, collage professors, movie directors and other social elites working for him. Praise Jesus we have Jesus on our side so we will make sure the secularists will get it in the end.



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

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Default Re: The Official ANAL SEX Discussion Thread - 02-29-2012, 09:02 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
...we will make sure the secularists will get it in the end.
Why did I suddenly check my belt buckle (it's quite secure) when I read that?


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Default Re: The Official ANAL SEX Discussion Thread - 02-29-2012, 09:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Didymus Much View Post
Why did I suddenly check my belt buckle (it's quite secure) when I read that?
Listen sinner,

You need to wrap your lips around this concept; not everything is some sexual innuendo or double entendre.



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

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Default Re: The Official ANAL SEX Discussion Thread - 03-01-2012, 05:40 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
Listen sinner,

You need to wrap your lips around this concept; not everything is some sexual innuendo or double entendre.
Gawd, you'd think he'd have a nice firm grip on it by now




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Default Re: The Official ANAL SEX Discussion Thread - 03-01-2012, 11:47 AM

Anal Sex Quote of the Day

Quote:
There is a difference between oral and anal sex. Oral sex can be justified as foreplay because it is like a kiss -- it is okay to kiss your spouse on the lips just as it is okay to kiss them on their body, including down there. But anal sex is different, anal sex is directly trying to replace the naturally intended organ, which is designed to receive a man, with something which has a totally different function.

Furthermore, oral sex may be justified as foreplay, that is that it may enable the actual martial act (either direction) by providing certain added stimulation. But anal sex does not do this, to the best of my knowledge. A man must be equally prepared to penetrate his wife either way and I don't see how it would prepare a woman for the marital act.

It is for this reason that oral sex as foreplay may be justified (though some moralists disagree, it depends on how you look at it) but that anal sex cannot be justified. It is also a good way to get a disease.... oh and ewww.
Source: http://forums.catholic.com/showthrea...58#post8024158
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Default Re: The Official ANAL SEX Discussion Thread - 03-01-2012, 03:15 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Daisy Mae Johnson View Post
Gawd, you'd think he'd have a nice firm grip on it by now
Some people just have to be hard asses about it.



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

Hot Must ReadThreads!


Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
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Default Re: The Official ANAL SEX Discussion Thread - 03-01-2012, 07:49 PM

I think i just found the most offensive song i have ever heard in my entire life, and of course it is from New Zealand



Sodomy
You must think it very odd of me
But I enjoy the act of sodomy
You might call the wrath of God on me
But if you tried it then you might agree
That you enjoy the act of sodomy
Don't worry if you feel ashamed
It's been around for years
Thousands more than can be named
Are interested in rears
Don't worry about hell
No harm will come to your soul
We're not all Pentecostal
But everybody's got an asshole

Let me tell ya 'bout sodomy
You must think it very odd of me
But I enjoy the act of sodomy
You might call the wrath of God on me
But if you tried it then you might agree
That you enjoy the act of sodomy
It might just improve your sex
It's a hard act to follow
The fact that fundamentalists
Find difficult to swallow
So join me as I sing
Of an activity that's fun
Open up your ring
And try it front to bum
Bum-bum
Bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bu m-bum



Can it get more OFFENSIVE than that?!

Damn you Peter Jackson for making me vomit again
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Default Re: The Official ANAL SEX Discussion Thread - 03-01-2012, 11:14 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by John Creeser View Post
Well, it's official, no more oranges in the Creeser household.

After reading this thread about the sins, health risks and shear ugliness that is anal sex my wife brought me an orange. It is now clear to me oranges are of the devil and promote anal sex. Not in my house
One "food" product that should be banned even entering Godly America, are dried figs. They are just a joint effort of joos and arabs to corrupt sub-consciousness of American youth to think it is ok to eat anus. I bet they contain some amount of AIDS in them as well.



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Default Re: The Official ANAL SEX Discussion Thread - 03-02-2012, 01:04 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alphonse Alban View Post
One "food" product that should be banned even entering Godly America, are dried figs. They are just a joint effort of joos and arabs to corrupt sub-consciousness of American youth to think it is ok to eat anus. I bet they contain some amount of AIDS in them as well.
Brother Alphonse, I could not agree more. As we all know God HATES figs just as much as he hates fags.

Mark 11:12-14

12And on the morrow, when they were come from Bethany, he was hungry:

13And seeing a fig tree afar off having leaves, he came, if haply he might find any thing thereon: and when he came to it, he found nothing but leaves; for the time of figs was not yet.

14And Jesus answered and said unto it, No man eat fruit of thee hereafter for ever. And his disciples heard it.
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Default Re: The Official ANAL SEX Discussion Thread - 03-02-2012, 07:55 AM

The sodomites are at it again with their unholy sacrament of the anus. Defying God's creation and color scheme, we now have – get ready for it – "Anal Bleaching".



Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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Default Re: The Official ANAL SEX Discussion Thread - 03-02-2012, 11:48 AM

Anal Sex Quote of the Day:

Quote:
It should be remembered that ‘democracy’ was originally advocated by the philosophers Plato and Socrates, both homosexual pedophiles. Some contend that these historical facts are irrelevant. There are others who claim that, because of this, democracy is inherently homosexual. This may well be the case. Consider the fact that, just recently, the people of Canada and Spain, along with quite a few other democratic Christian nations, actually voted in favor of same sex marriages. For the first time in more than 2,000 years, the State was now allowed to sanction sodomy as an individual right and to give explicit approval and encouragement to the act of anal sex.
Source: http://stjudasmaccabaeus.wordpress.c...gs-of-reality/
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Default Re: The Official ANAL SEX Discussion Thread - 03-03-2012, 06:29 AM

The atheists even write godmocking songs in praise of anal sex!



Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: The Official ANAL SEX Discussion Thread - 03-03-2012, 07:20 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Roberta View Post
If I had my way, I'd ship them off to one of those Austrian penile colonies. Paul Hogan could teach them a thing or two.
I have a feeling they'd enjoy that.

Paul Hogan is, after all, an "actor".
Quote:
Originally Posted by Swedish eskimo View Post
"I'm sure this will be greatly misquoted but it would not be a bad idea to bring the swift justice today that was brought in Israel's day against murder and rape and homosexuality. I guarantee it would solve the problem post-haste if homosexuals were stoned, if murderers were immediately killed as the Bible commands."

-Dr. Bob Jones III
I don't see any way that could be misquoted.

How do you "misquote" Truth?

I only find it disturbing that Dr. Jones didn't mention also stoning adulterers, as the Bible commands.


Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Default Re: The Official ANAL SEX Discussion Thread - 03-03-2012, 02:27 PM

Anal Sex Quote of the Day:

Quote:
The dangers inherent in anal sex is just as real between straight Christian married couples.
The anus was not designed as an entrance. Tender tissue tears, important muscles are stretched. And there is still the same issue...poop is not a healthy substance to play in.

Anal sex is degrading and painful. Why would a loving husband desire to inflict it on his cherished wife?
Now, of course, you will tell me that "some women like it." I seriously doubt if many women long to have their anus pierced, however, it is still dpainful and dangerous for her, and if her husband loves her, he will not do it. It is dangerous for him, too, by the way...the bacteria in poop aren't picky.


Yes, I believe it is a sin, just as it is between gay men.

If you need a verse, then how about this one:

Eph 5:28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
Eph 5:29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church.

Most straight men I know have a horror of having anything shoved up their anus. He "loves his own flesh" too much for that. Here, he is told to love his wife "as his own body".
'Nuff said.
Source: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/in...3061219AAlAsl1
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