Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians)
Reload this Page Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus!
Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you).

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Glendora Christianson's Avatar
Glendora Christianson Glendora Christianson is offline
Spiritual Mother of LBC
True Christian™

Long service medal, 1st class One Year/1000 posts True Christian™ Saved 5 Years True Christian Lady Real American™ Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls Ribfest '03 Best stoning bucket Protected by JESUS Christian Love Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Mama Grizzly Persecuted

 
Posts: 6,341
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, IA
Glendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 02-08-2007, 02:04 AM

Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! I'm sure we'll be helping lots of lost homers in the future. And if there's one thing I'm sure of, our help will work better than any feel-good, false Christian nonsense. So, even though our Lord Jesus Christ will probably burn these homers in Hell, let's do our best to help our "back door" Christians.


Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.

Last edited by OnYourKnees; 02-09-2007 at 05:13 PM.
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
TwinkBoy's Avatar
TwinkBoy TwinkBoy is offline
CASTLES DON'T HAVE PHONES
Forum Member
 
Posts: 212
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Transsexual, Transylvania
TwinkBoy has bribed people to get these reputation points.TwinkBoy has bribed people to get these reputation points.TwinkBoy has bribed people to get these reputation points.TwinkBoy has bribed people to get these reputation points.TwinkBoy has bribed people to get these reputation points.TwinkBoy has bribed people to get these reputation points.TwinkBoy has bribed people to get these reputation points.TwinkBoy has bribed people to get these reputation points.TwinkBoy has bribed people to get these reputation points.TwinkBoy has bribed people to get these reputation points.TwinkBoy has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 02-08-2007, 02:51 AM

Oh good lord! Yet ANOTHER fanatical Christian attempt to cure something that is NOT in need of ANY CURE!!


"I'm just a sweet transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania."

"Don't dream it...BE IT!"
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Glendora Christianson's Avatar
Glendora Christianson Glendora Christianson is offline
Spiritual Mother of LBC
True Christian™

Long service medal, 1st class One Year/1000 posts True Christian™ Saved 5 Years True Christian Lady Real American™ Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls Ribfest '03 Best stoning bucket Protected by JESUS Christian Love Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Mama Grizzly Persecuted

 
Posts: 6,341
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, IA
Glendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureGlendora Christianson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 02-08-2007, 02:59 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by TwinkBoy View Post
Oh good lord! Yet ANOTHER fanatical Christian attempt to cure something that is NOT in need of ANY CURE!!
Leviticus 20:13!


Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Mrs. Mary Whitford's Avatar
Mrs. Mary Whitford Mrs. Mary Whitford is offline
Ladies of Landover Senior VP
One of the Truest Christians™ Ever
Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
True Christian™

Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 3rd class Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Cleanest Kitchen True Christian Lady True Heterosexual™ Platinum Tither Ribfest '07 True Christian Homemaker Ex-Mary Worshipper Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS TC Bravery Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Friend of Jesus Most Obedient Mrs. Sarah Palin Lady of the Year 2010 Flat Earth Mission to Australia Mama Grizzly Persecuted Pro-Life The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Batman Shooting Survivor Guns, Guts and GLORY! Kirk Cameron Fan Club The Lord’s Witness Wound Early riser Proud Niglet Sponsorer Home Schooled Jailed for JESUS Paula Deen Negro Support Group Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 12,662
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Standing behind my husband
Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mrs. Mary Whitford will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 02-08-2007, 03:36 AM

Praise! The door is open, and the abomination who needs help the most comes straight in! (Please pardon the pun.)
TwerpBoy, open yourself to Jesus! Let Him come in!


Posted via Prayer

1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

Blogging for CHRIST!
Witnessing for GOD on YouTube!
All a-Twitter for Salvation!
Bringing Jesus to MySpace!
On FIRE for the Lord on Facebook!
My Ladies of Landover profile!
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
OnYourKnees's Avatar
OnYourKnees OnYourKnees is offline
On Extended Furlough
True Christian™
 
Posts: 4,784
Join Date: Nov 2006
OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 02-08-2007, 04:04 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria View Post
Praise! The door is open, and the abomination who needs help the most comes straight in! (Please pardon the pun.)
TwerpBoy, open yourself to Jesus! Let Him come in!
Well said, Sister M&Ms! I was just thinking the very same thing!

TwinkBoy, I'm so very glad to see you pop right up at the mention of the word "backdoor"! No doubt you've heard of Ted Haggard's miraculous cure, and want a taste of Jesus' Love for yourself.

Well, this is the place! You'll get your fill here!!
Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
TwinkBoy's Avatar
TwinkBoy TwinkBoy is offline
CASTLES DON'T HAVE PHONES
Forum Member
 
Posts: 212
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Transsexual, Transylvania
TwinkBoy has bribed people to get these reputation points.TwinkBoy has bribed people to get these reputation points.TwinkBoy has bribed people to get these reputation points.TwinkBoy has bribed people to get these reputation points.TwinkBoy has bribed people to get these reputation points.TwinkBoy has bribed people to get these reputation points.TwinkBoy has bribed people to get these reputation points.TwinkBoy has bribed people to get these reputation points.TwinkBoy has bribed people to get these reputation points.TwinkBoy has bribed people to get these reputation points.TwinkBoy has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 02-08-2007, 04:23 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria View Post
Praise! The door is open, and the abomination who needs help the most comes straight in! (Please pardon the pun.)
TwerpBoy, open yourself to Jesus! Let Him come in!
Open myself to Jesus? We'll what do you think he has up his..ah..sleeve? And, will I require a chastity belt? LMAO!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by OnYourKnees View Post
Well said, Sister M&Ms! I was just thinking the very same thing!

TwinkBoy, I'm so very glad to see you pop right up at the mention of the word "backdoor"! No doubt you've heard of Ted Haggard's miraculous cure, and want a taste of Jesus' Love for yourself.

Well, this is the place! You'll get your fill here!!
Backdoor? Hey, love, that ALWAYS gets MY attention, if you know what I mean (snicker, snicker). Oh yes, I've heard of Teddy's "miracle cure" and, frankly love, its a FARCE!! Now, do I or do I not want a TASTE of Jesus' love for myself? Hmmm....well...love...what flavor do you think he is??

I'm just a WILD and an UNTAMED thing.............


"I'm just a sweet transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania."

"Don't dream it...BE IT!"

Last edited by TwinkBoy; 02-08-2007 at 04:29 AM.
Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
Virginia Day Templeton's Avatar
Virginia Day Templeton Virginia Day Templeton is offline
Christ's Battle Axe
 

True Christian™ True Christian Lady True Heterosexual™ True Christian Beauty Bronze Tither Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Christian Love Flat Earth Most Obedient Pro-Life Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Stamp of Approval Mama Grizzly Trumpette Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Roper Crossburn Real American™ TC Bravery Teabag Patriot True Republican Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 2,777
Join Date: Dec 2006
Virginia Day Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Virginia Day Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Virginia Day Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Virginia Day Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Virginia Day Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Virginia Day Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Virginia Day Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Virginia Day Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Virginia Day Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Virginia Day Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Virginia Day Templeton will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 02-08-2007, 04:47 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Glendora Christianson View Post
Leviticus 20:13!
Amen, Sister. God wrote it for a reason. Homosexuality is not part of His plan—that's why He made anal sex so exquisitely painful.


Reply With Quote
(#8)
Old
Poetic Peter's Avatar
Poetic Peter Poetic Peter is offline
Christian Poet Emeritus
Forum Member

True Heterosexual™ Christian Love The Lord’s Witness Wound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture

 
Posts: 1,694
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Near to Him
Poetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RapturePoetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RapturePoetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RapturePoetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RapturePoetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RapturePoetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RapturePoetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RapturePoetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RapturePoetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RapturePoetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RapturePoetic Peter has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 02-09-2007, 05:20 PM

I hear Ted got his homocure from a "divinity mill", via "coupon redemption".


Nonetheless, it all seems to be on the level, despite the pseudonymous namings.



Reply With Quote
(#9)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 02-26-2007, 08:04 AM

For those of you sodomites who are listening to Jesus and doing your best to fight those satanic urges, THIS Ebay auction might be of interest. Better hurry!



Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#10)
Old
Nick The Queer Nick The Queer is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 16
Join Date: Jul 2008
Nick The Queer is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 07-18-2008, 10:39 AM

Honestly, whats wrong with being homosexual. Its not like we hurt anyone. I just don't understand what makes people feel that they have the right to tell people that WHAT they are is wrong. This is a farce. Sexual orientation is determined by genetics. How can you persecute someone for being born a certain way. That's just like saying that being black is wrong, or being mentally retarded is a sin.

Society is changing, get used to it.
Reply With Quote
(#11)
Old
LoverNotFighter LoverNotFighter is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 2
Join Date: Jul 2008
LoverNotFighter is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 07-30-2008, 12:34 AM

Oh, you poor dear people, I feel for your mentality. Homosexuality is NOT a disease, it's the way people were born to love. Don't y'all support peace and happiness? If you do then why do you shun people for existing? Why do you try to change them when they are exactly perfect the way they are? The powers that be will be only too happy that the individual has lived to their divine nature and that they didn't alter themselves because of fear of intolerance and shame.

I realize that I may not change your opinion--and I'm completely content with you keeping the words you choose--but please at least try to understand others differences. Bless you.
Reply With Quote
(#12)
Old
Foxxy11's Avatar
Foxxy11 Foxxy11 is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 4
Join Date: Dec 2010
Foxxy11 is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 12-16-2010, 03:08 AM

y'all make me sick, Twinkie and the other wierdos. I'd go so far to say, Twinkie has a better chance in heaven than you.
Reply With Quote
(#13)
Old
FallenAngel15's Avatar
FallenAngel15 FallenAngel15 is offline
Unsaved trash, teenaged pervert
 

CAUTION - Underage Poster Homer Uppity Woman/Enabler Hellbound Heathen

 
Posts: 104
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: lying in my girlfriends arms, listening to GaGa
FallenAngel15 is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.FallenAngel15 is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.FallenAngel15 is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.FallenAngel15 is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.FallenAngel15 is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.FallenAngel15 is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.FallenAngel15 is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.FallenAngel15 is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Talking Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 07-11-2011, 09:40 AM

Why do you christians try to seek a cure for something that is natural and normal?!
I think there are much more important issues you could deal with that benifit everyone and not put one group/culture down.
Try eradicate poverty!
Feed the homeless!
Vote Democrat!

LOVE is what its all about anyway, Gender doesn't matter, only LOVE!!!


Ooh there ain't no other way, baby I was born this way!

I love the Mother Monster.
Xena Warrior Princess, she can save me anytime!!!
Reply With Quote
(#14)
Old
Jpagan's Avatar
Jpagan Jpagan is offline
Unsaved trash, dangerous witch
 
 
Posts: 54
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Godless Midwest
Jpagan is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Jpagan is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Jpagan is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Jpagan is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 04-18-2012, 09:32 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Virginia D. Templeton View Post
Amen, Sister. God wrote it for a reason. Homosexuality is not part of His plan—that's why He made anal sex so exquisitely painful.
Actually this relates to one of my burning questions, so I hope I'm on the right board.

For the sake of argument I agree, GOD hates Homosexuals and wants them killed.

But then I don't understand how he could tempt men with that pleasure center,the prostate, thats used in Anal sex. It's just fantastic. Is he testing gay males? Or is it to curb the number of heathen births?

Thank you for your time in answering this seriously.


A righteous man regardeth the life of his beast; But the tender mercies of the wicked are cruel. Proverbs 12:10
Reply With Quote
(#15)
Old
Roberta's Avatar
Roberta Roberta is offline
Anti La Leche League Organizer
True Christian™

True Christian™ Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Christian Love Real American™ Ready for the Rapture Pro-Life True Christian Lady Virgin True Republican Most Obedient Super Soaker Baptism Award One Year/1000 posts True Christian Beauty Saved 1 Year Best stoning bucket Flat Earth Flat Earth A for Effort Teabag Patriot Hands Off

 
Posts: 1,807
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: VT--the Green Mountain State
Roberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 04-18-2012, 09:41 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jpagan View Post
But then I don't understand how he could tempt men with that pleasure center,the prostate, thats used in Anal sex.
What is a prostrate?


Come climb my mountains.
Reply With Quote
(#16)
Old
GayGayAndGay's Avatar
GayGayAndGay GayGayAndGay is offline
Unsaved trash, possibly some kind of gay
Under Investigation

Rides the Short Bus Homer

 
Posts: 12
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Plotting agains Jesus and all that is good
GayGayAndGay is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.GayGayAndGay is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.GayGayAndGay is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.GayGayAndGay is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.GayGayAndGay is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.GayGayAndGay is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Jesus' eternal love Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 05-22-2016, 02:58 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Virginia D. Templeton View Post
Amen, Sister. God wrote it for a reason. Homosexuality is not part of His plan—that's why He made anal sex so exquisitely painful.
if its so bad then why does it feel so good after only a little ***pharmacological reference to unnatural acts removed by moderator***?
Reply With Quote
(#17)
Old
Redeemed Papist's Avatar
Redeemed Papist Redeemed Papist is offline
Former Mary Hailer who has seen The Light©
True Christian™

Ex-Mary Worshipper Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture One Year/1000 posts Christian Love Friend of Jesus True Christian™ Ex-Masturbator Tell her once Flat Earth Porn Resistant Ex-Brit Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Ex-eurotrash True Christian Caucasian Persecuted Punched the most queers Super Soaker Baptism Award TC Bravery True Scientist™ True Heterosexual™ Batman Shooting Survivor True Scientist™ Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Saved 1 Year Prayer Warrior Kirk Cameron Fan Club The Lord’s Witness Wound Pro-Life Teabag Patriot Touched by Jesus Gold Tither Anti-sodomy Hands Off

 
Posts: 10,391
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Surrounded By Married Homos and Baby Killers in Godless England
Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Redeemed Papist will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 05-22-2016, 04:22 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by GayGayAndGay View Post
if its so bad then why does it feel so good after only a little ***pharmacological reference to unnatural acts removed by moderator***?
That would be the Devil tempting you with stuff that's of this world.
1 John 2:15-17
15Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. 17And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.
You seem to think that if it feels good it's right. No, no, no! God did not give you a means of experiencing pleasure so you could feel joy. God gave you a means of feeling pleasure and joy in perverted filthy sex acts so you could be tempted to wickedness and iniquity. You're going to burn in Hell unless you do something about it.
James 4:4-6
4Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God. 5Do ye think that the scripture saith in vain, The spirit that dwelleth in us lusteth to envy? 6But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.
You are an adulterer if you are having gay sex because it is outside marriage. No True Christian seeks to have sex feel pleasurable even within marriage - it is a duty in order to spawn children. If you do not feel like it is a chore you are not doing it right.

Please stay away from the anal cavities and get with Jesus. Once you feel Him deep inside you you will crave nothing else.



Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

Join me in scoffing at backwards Muslims clinging to their beliefs in the face of the evidence!
The truth about volcanos
Sex and debauchery in public schools
Faith wins over science (explained for even the very stupid)
God Cures AIDS - GLORY!
Desert whale bones prove Great Flood once and for all.
Reply With Quote
(#18)
Old
Brother V's Avatar
Brother V Brother V is offline
True Christian™ Nitric Oxide
True Christian™

Long service medal, 1st class Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Saved 5 Years Bronze Tither Christian Love 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Home Schooled Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork True Republican Sons of Liberty Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 3,477
Join Date: Sep 2006
Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Brother V will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 02-08-2007, 03:35 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by TwinkBoy View Post
Oh good lord! Yet ANOTHER fanatical Christian attempt to cure something that is NOT in need of ANY CURE!!
You mean like GRIDS (Gay Related Immune Deficiency Syndrome)?
Reply With Quote
(#19)
Old
AntiGod AntiGod is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 2
Join Date: Feb 2018
AntiGod is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 02-24-2018, 09:34 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by TwinkBoy View Post
Oh good lord! Yet ANOTHER fanatical Christian attempt to cure something that is NOT in need of ANY CURE!!
truth.Respect
Reply With Quote
(#20)
Old
BrotherLarry's Avatar
BrotherLarry BrotherLarry is offline
Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
True Christian™

Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian™ Ready for the Rapture Porn Resistant Persecuted One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Ex-Masturbator Friend of Jesus Gnathologist Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Stamp of Approval Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork TC Bravery True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Touched by Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Ex-Mary Worshipper Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Super Soaker Baptism Award Pastor Ezekiel Sons of Liberty Guns, Guts and GLORY! Trump of GOD Asked questions later Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud Team Fortress Denier

 
Posts: 2,395
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Prodigal Son of Godless NYC.
BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Welcome to Straight 4 Jesus! - 02-27-2018, 05:44 PM

I have been an in-person, up-close witness to the perversion that is same s-e-c-k-s carnality and I can tell you it is definitely NOT "ok." I have seen the turgid rods of the depraved sunken deep into the nether regions of still another depraved soul. I have heard these "men" cry out in low, depraved tones as their depravity deepens and their lust lengthens.


OK? No, I don't think so.


I have been privy to the sin of Onan on multiple occasions as I minister on my knees to those fooled into thinking it's ok to waste the precious salve that brings babies to this world. A few times, it has even fallen upon my face (horrors!) as I begged the offender to join me in crying out to God Almighty. Until you have personally seen the wickedness that is always present in homer orgies, you have no right to call it "ok." And if you HAVE witnessed it and still think it's acceptable, this is a sign that the demon named Homo has entered you and now possesses you. Cry out to the LORD for cleansing, today! Plead the Precious Blood of Jesus© over your soul even now! Seek an exorcism from your nearest exorcist at once! Friend, this is not a plaything with which to play. This is your soul at risk and JESUS stands at the door, knocking. Oh, how I pray you let Him inside. Father God, I just come against the sin of homerism now, Father God, and I ask You to just wipe every homer's nether regions with Your Precious Blood, Father God, that all men might be saved. I just pray against lust right now, Jesus, that all lust is removed and replaced with Your Love, a Love that is an holy and righteous thing, Father God.


All these favors I ask in the Holy and Precious Name of our Living Savior, Christ Jesus of Nazareth, claiming the promises of Your Holy Word. Amen and Amen and Amen.


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
anal sex causes ass demons, death style choice, fags cause the aids, marriage is not for you fags, masterbation = gay sex, not gay, radical gay agenda

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved